Kestrel
Angel with a Shotgun
Ugh, I don't know how to start this. For those of you reading this that know me, you probably heard about my dog. This Tuesday (June 14, 2016 if anyone cares) will be six weeks since my family had to put her down. Six weeks since we cuddled on the couch, and she fell off and had a seizure, or a spasm or something. Six weeks since my mom and I rushed her to the vet and met my dad there. Six weeks since the vet took X-rays, then used a needle and a medicine called Fatal-Plus to take her lifr. Six, painful, agonizing weeks living without my beautiful baby girl.
Her name was Inali. She was nine. I spent eight years with her. She was a Siberian Husky. Beautiful, independent, stubborn, sweet, so full of life and energy. But now she's gone. The type of tumor she had in her heart may have been genetic, the vet said. Not you fault, she assured us.
Mom left, to pick up my little sister from school, so she could say goodbye. Inali was the family dog, but those two had something special. My sister doesn't remember our last dog, Lexy. She only remembers Inali. Anyway, by the time mom got back with my little sister, the vet had already finished taking X-rays, and delivered the news. So, I had to explain. Needless to say, it was hard.
The exam rooms have bowls of treats, and I have Inali several as we were saying goodbye. As sick as she was (she didn't chase the clinic cat, Toby), she still wanted to be with us. She was demanding attention, licking tears off our faces. She had no idea that she was about to die. Or, maybe she did know, and she was happy because she was at peace. She was surrounded by her favorite people in the whole world, and she wasn't going to hurt anymore.
After a while, the vet and a vet tech came back in. They put Inali up on the table, and shaved part of her right front leg. The euthanasia medicine, Fatal-Plus, is injected in a vein, the animal immediately goes unconscious, and after a while, the heart stops. When they stuck the needle in, and were looking for the vein, Inali whimpered and pulled away. I'm sure It hurt, but I'm terrified of the idea that she was afraid. The vet petted her head and said, "Go to sleep, baby girl." Then, Inali calmed down and let them try again. She laid down and just went to sleep. They warned us that there could be muscle spasms, vocalizations, etc, but it was automatic, and she wasn't conscious. She wouldn't be in any pain. Luckily, it was quick and painless.
After she was gone, I stroked her one last time. She died with her eyes open, and I could see her blue eye (she had bi-eyes. One blue, one brown).
I work at the vet clinic that my family uses. Thankfully, they told me not to worry about coming in that day. My family just went home. On the way, my little sister called all her friends to tell them the news. She's always been really social, the extrovert in my family. She depends on people around her, while I tend to sit everyone out, to push them away and pretend that I'm fine. By the time we got home, one of her best friends who lives in our neighborhood, was standing in our porch waiting for her. They went to her room, and I went to mine. I just laid on my bed and cried. Later that night around 9:00, My boyfriend texted me to ask if I was okay. I hadn't been at school, nobody had seen or heard from me, so he was concerned. I called him and let him know what was going on.
(I'm going to add more. I plan on just writing a bunch of the things I remember about her. This has been difficult to write, but I think I feel better, at least for the circumstances.)
Her name was Inali. She was nine. I spent eight years with her. She was a Siberian Husky. Beautiful, independent, stubborn, sweet, so full of life and energy. But now she's gone. The type of tumor she had in her heart may have been genetic, the vet said. Not you fault, she assured us.
Mom left, to pick up my little sister from school, so she could say goodbye. Inali was the family dog, but those two had something special. My sister doesn't remember our last dog, Lexy. She only remembers Inali. Anyway, by the time mom got back with my little sister, the vet had already finished taking X-rays, and delivered the news. So, I had to explain. Needless to say, it was hard.
The exam rooms have bowls of treats, and I have Inali several as we were saying goodbye. As sick as she was (she didn't chase the clinic cat, Toby), she still wanted to be with us. She was demanding attention, licking tears off our faces. She had no idea that she was about to die. Or, maybe she did know, and she was happy because she was at peace. She was surrounded by her favorite people in the whole world, and she wasn't going to hurt anymore.
After a while, the vet and a vet tech came back in. They put Inali up on the table, and shaved part of her right front leg. The euthanasia medicine, Fatal-Plus, is injected in a vein, the animal immediately goes unconscious, and after a while, the heart stops. When they stuck the needle in, and were looking for the vein, Inali whimpered and pulled away. I'm sure It hurt, but I'm terrified of the idea that she was afraid. The vet petted her head and said, "Go to sleep, baby girl." Then, Inali calmed down and let them try again. She laid down and just went to sleep. They warned us that there could be muscle spasms, vocalizations, etc, but it was automatic, and she wasn't conscious. She wouldn't be in any pain. Luckily, it was quick and painless.
After she was gone, I stroked her one last time. She died with her eyes open, and I could see her blue eye (she had bi-eyes. One blue, one brown).
I work at the vet clinic that my family uses. Thankfully, they told me not to worry about coming in that day. My family just went home. On the way, my little sister called all her friends to tell them the news. She's always been really social, the extrovert in my family. She depends on people around her, while I tend to sit everyone out, to push them away and pretend that I'm fine. By the time we got home, one of her best friends who lives in our neighborhood, was standing in our porch waiting for her. They went to her room, and I went to mine. I just laid on my bed and cried. Later that night around 9:00, My boyfriend texted me to ask if I was okay. I hadn't been at school, nobody had seen or heard from me, so he was concerned. I called him and let him know what was going on.
(I'm going to add more. I plan on just writing a bunch of the things I remember about her. This has been difficult to write, but I think I feel better, at least for the circumstances.)
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