ToteMaus
Member
The three of us should make a pact: we'll help each other through our next crush, giving support and encouragement to ask them out, and support and comfort if rejection occurs.
Love... Unsure where to find it
- Thread starter AgentFire
- Start date
AgentFire
Senior Member
Hehe, yeah, that's not a bad idea. Although, I already have a crush, that I'm not sure I'd ever have the guts to go far with.
Poisoned Youth
the Anathema
Thanks for the compliment, AgentFire. And honestly, even though I share the same insecurities, the logical side of me believes that no one's just undateable.
Everyone thinks that they're just the only one human being in the world that's destined to never be with anyone ever when it comes to insecurities, I guess.
Everyone thinks that they're just the only one human being in the world that's destined to never be with anyone ever when it comes to insecurities, I guess.
AgentFire
Senior Member
I guess so when you think about it. But still, maybe its just me, but I don't think a girl would want to date a guy with my tastes.
Oh, and you're welcome. The hair is awesome, its my second favorite color next to natural red heads.
Oh, and you're welcome. The hair is awesome, its my second favorite color next to natural red heads.
Poisoned Youth
the Anathema
No need to be so self-deprecating. Sometimes, it's hard to accept that you aren't who you want to be, but in my experience, life is far more fulfilling once you love and accept that you are who you are and stop trying to be who you wish you were.
A little mushy of a sentiment, but hey. It's true!
A little mushy of a sentiment, but hey. It's true!
AgentFire
Senior Member
It is true. I've for the most part accepted it's me, but I still can't change the fact that most girls don't care for it. I just gotta hope I can meet one who will.
ToteMaus
Member
Next term starts in a few weeks, I'm sure to meet lots of new people, maybe I'll meet the right guy.
AgentFire
Senior Member
I hope so, that'd be so awesome c:
ToteMaus
Member
I have had the roughest day possible. I hope you two have fared better.
AgentFire
Senior Member
It has been rather easy going actually
ToteMaus
Member
This is my last day before my project deadline! I'm really excited but also really nervous, wish me luck!
AgentFire
Senior Member
Good luck, Tote!
Poisoned Youth
the Anathema
Best of luck to you! (:
Tkalec
Wannabe Economist
Coming from a self proclaimed simpleton, these words shouldn't be regarded as a definite answer to the complex questions concerning love, but merely as a recounting of how I personally perceive the whole thing. I hope you'll find it useful!
Before, I used to feel deeply sorry for myself, constantly waiting for something more, something to take away the boredom and emptiness of everyday life. I desperately wanted to find somebody. At that time, I didn't even know what it feels like to be in a relationship. Time passed by, I was still unsatisfied but way more social than I used to be. It took some time, but I ended up starting a relationship with a friend from class. It was a mutual decision actually. I still remember the first kiss, it was a very awkward gesture lasting only a few quick seconds after which I hopped on a tram in a hurry. Later on facebook we concluded that we were in a relationship as of that moment. There are no words to describe how I felt at that time. Suddenly, I was there. I did something impossible, obtained the unobtainable. Needless to say, I was extremely happy. I wish my story would end here. You know, just like a classic love story. Two unlikely lovers, a few obstacles on the way which are finally dealt with in the end and everybody lives happily ever after. I think we all want that, but that doesn't make it any more possible. Sadly, reality is way different from all the movies and romance novels we so happily read. These works of fiction rarely accurately present the other side of love which includes, and is not limited to; sorrow, regret, anger and guilt.
The first thing I noticed when I found myself in a relationship is that it really didn't change a thing about me. I was still my old self, with the very same problems. Nothing had really changed. I have spent too long waiting for a relationship, foolishly expecting it to rid me of all my problems. Of course, my expectations proved to be misjudged. Don't get me wrong. I was happy, but at the same time, I wasn't. It is a usual paradox most people feel at some points in a relationship. It is like you just want to be alone, wishing that you never should have entered a relationship in the first place, but at the same time, you feel confused and afraid to leave the relationship. Most relationships end, that possibility is something that both partners agree upon and accept prior to entering one. But that still doesn't make breakups any easier. Needless to say, me and my girlfriend had broken up. Things just didn't work out, we weren't right for each other. By the end, things just got so repetitive and depressing. The whole things almost felt entirely forced. Soon after, she broke up with me. I was devastated and could barely function. During that time, I used way too many drugs, trying to fill the void that the breakup had left. In reality, I could only distract myself for a short amount of time before going back to that miserable self loathing state again. The drugs just didn't work, but at least they managed to keep me occupied. It took me months before I finally made peace with myself. It was definitely the worst period of my life. But I learned a lot from it.
The most important thing I've learned from all this is that before entering any sort of relationship, one should first learn to love himself. Don't hate yourself because you are not in a relationship, you should in fact appreciate being single. Take the time to get to known yourself, explore your interests and enjoy doing things you like. Once you learn to love yourself, others will love you as well. Also, don't think that your problems will go away once you enter a relationship. It could actually even make matters worse. Just learn to treat dating like something casual, something you do for fun, not because you feel like you need to! Don't base your life on relationships and finding that perfect companion. Obsessing over it certainly won't make it come any sooner and that same obsession takes focus off of more important things. Learn to appreciate what you have, feel good about yourself and love will surely come. It always does, usually unexpectedly.
Before, I used to feel deeply sorry for myself, constantly waiting for something more, something to take away the boredom and emptiness of everyday life. I desperately wanted to find somebody. At that time, I didn't even know what it feels like to be in a relationship. Time passed by, I was still unsatisfied but way more social than I used to be. It took some time, but I ended up starting a relationship with a friend from class. It was a mutual decision actually. I still remember the first kiss, it was a very awkward gesture lasting only a few quick seconds after which I hopped on a tram in a hurry. Later on facebook we concluded that we were in a relationship as of that moment. There are no words to describe how I felt at that time. Suddenly, I was there. I did something impossible, obtained the unobtainable. Needless to say, I was extremely happy. I wish my story would end here. You know, just like a classic love story. Two unlikely lovers, a few obstacles on the way which are finally dealt with in the end and everybody lives happily ever after. I think we all want that, but that doesn't make it any more possible. Sadly, reality is way different from all the movies and romance novels we so happily read. These works of fiction rarely accurately present the other side of love which includes, and is not limited to; sorrow, regret, anger and guilt.
The first thing I noticed when I found myself in a relationship is that it really didn't change a thing about me. I was still my old self, with the very same problems. Nothing had really changed. I have spent too long waiting for a relationship, foolishly expecting it to rid me of all my problems. Of course, my expectations proved to be misjudged. Don't get me wrong. I was happy, but at the same time, I wasn't. It is a usual paradox most people feel at some points in a relationship. It is like you just want to be alone, wishing that you never should have entered a relationship in the first place, but at the same time, you feel confused and afraid to leave the relationship. Most relationships end, that possibility is something that both partners agree upon and accept prior to entering one. But that still doesn't make breakups any easier. Needless to say, me and my girlfriend had broken up. Things just didn't work out, we weren't right for each other. By the end, things just got so repetitive and depressing. The whole things almost felt entirely forced. Soon after, she broke up with me. I was devastated and could barely function. During that time, I used way too many drugs, trying to fill the void that the breakup had left. In reality, I could only distract myself for a short amount of time before going back to that miserable self loathing state again. The drugs just didn't work, but at least they managed to keep me occupied. It took me months before I finally made peace with myself. It was definitely the worst period of my life. But I learned a lot from it.
The most important thing I've learned from all this is that before entering any sort of relationship, one should first learn to love himself. Don't hate yourself because you are not in a relationship, you should in fact appreciate being single. Take the time to get to known yourself, explore your interests and enjoy doing things you like. Once you learn to love yourself, others will love you as well. Also, don't think that your problems will go away once you enter a relationship. It could actually even make matters worse. Just learn to treat dating like something casual, something you do for fun, not because you feel like you need to! Don't base your life on relationships and finding that perfect companion. Obsessing over it certainly won't make it come any sooner and that same obsession takes focus off of more important things. Learn to appreciate what you have, feel good about yourself and love will surely come. It always does, usually unexpectedly.
Thorn Darkblade
I know lots of things. Lots of things...
So, going to let you know, being brutally honest:
The odds of you finding the love of your life at 16 are slim to none. That's not to say it's impossible. But, it's moreso, in ten years, you will not be the same person you are now. Neither will whoever you are in love with now. If you are fortunate, you will find someone who grows and changes in the same direction as you. But, that doesn't mean you shouldn't give up hope! It's part of this beautiful thing called life. You've probably been burned before. You'll most likely be burned again. What separates some folks from others though is the capacity to learn from hurt, and let it go after a time, becoming a better person in the end.
You're young. You've got a lot more adventure to go through, and certainly a lot more heartbreak. Learn from it though.
Source: 28 years of life experience, ^-^
The odds of you finding the love of your life at 16 are slim to none. That's not to say it's impossible. But, it's moreso, in ten years, you will not be the same person you are now. Neither will whoever you are in love with now. If you are fortunate, you will find someone who grows and changes in the same direction as you. But, that doesn't mean you shouldn't give up hope! It's part of this beautiful thing called life. You've probably been burned before. You'll most likely be burned again. What separates some folks from others though is the capacity to learn from hurt, and let it go after a time, becoming a better person in the end.
You're young. You've got a lot more adventure to go through, and certainly a lot more heartbreak. Learn from it though.
Source: 28 years of life experience, ^-^
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