King of the Hill

N

Nightlark

The master
with each post, you take the hill back from the last person to post. Use any method.


I shall start with a quite simple method.


I see a hill in the distance, I walk up and stick a flag at its peak. I am king of the hill.
 
I see someone put a flag on a hill, I throw a potato at him, causing him to fall of the hill, steal his flag and become queen of the hill
 
having been hit by the potato, I grab the weapon and set to work, distilling its juices for vodka. I storm up the hill in a drunken rage and push the woman over before taking my hill back. I am king of the hill.
 
the unknown person's van gets towed away because this is a no parking zone, and since he'll have to go get it from the impound lot. I think I'll sit on this hill. I am king of the hill.
 
He'd get a radio. "Um, Bain, time for some backup" Four minutes later, a helicopter would fly above the hill as two armed men open fire, scaring the current king away, as the chopper land, I leave it, once again claiming the hill.


(Heh, this is going to be fun xD )
 
I sit on a nearby hill near the commotion and gunfire, laughing at the absurdity of squabbling over such a tiny hill compared to mine. I am the king this hill all to my self... well. I may be the king of A hill. But I'm not the king of THAT hill. Uncertainty begins to brew, quickly turning into unrest and finally:


I throw a couple of banana peels to make the science guy slip and roll down the hill. I am the king of the hill.
 
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I watch from a distance. "BOYS, TIME TO CALL SANIC!" as he yelled it, an extremely loud, almost making your ears bleed theme of Sanic starts to play, followed by a cloaker running up the hill x3 times faster than normal, when he reached the top, he dropkicked the Science guy down the hill, as I casually go to the top, once again claiming the hill
 
"It's Ogre."


I say this with a heavy heart, not wanting to unleash the memes. But when I saw that blue furball I knew... it had to be done.


A cross eyed Shrek appeared from the hill's center, creating a cavity on the side. It whisked that Unknown Person thing off whilst screaming the lyrics to All Star. I lay sensually on the hill's crest as the new king.
 
yo, this is the story all about how coke monster's life got flipped upside down.


let me take a minute just keep it real, I'll tell you 'bout how I got crowned king of the hill.


in west hillidelphia born and raised, on the hilltop is where I spent most of my days.


chillin out maxin relax acting all chill


shootin' some b-ball on th'side of the hill


when a couple of guys who were up to no good


started makin' trouble in the neighborhood.


we got in one little fight and the hill got scared, told them "you're movin' with your aunt and your uncle cause this hill can't be shared


now this is my hill where I sit and lay


takin' in the view every second of the day, doin' whatever I will


I was finally home


I am king of the hill
 
I take a giant shovel and scoop up the hill. I shake it, knocking every one off it. I move the hill over and set it down. I sit on the hill. I am king of the hill
 
I sign on for an experimental mech pilot program, train for 16 years, and return to claim my rightful place on the hill. With my Gurren Mark II equipped for multiple encounters in space/ground combat, I flick you off the hill with one metal finger. I then eject and parachute onto ze hill, my mech self destructing nearby. I am the king of the hill.
 
I salvage the remains of your Gurren mark II and make a gurren mark III with a float system, then take it over with Lagan, making it Gurren Lagan III. after collapsing time and space, I create a new pocket universe with spiral energy. within this universe, I create a gorgeous grassy plane with one lone hill, covered in beautiful flowers. I am king of the hill.
 
An earthquake erupts, destroying the beautiful serenity. Dark clouds swirl over newly born scars becoming bigger with each crackle of lightning. Shadows spill upon the land, and out of the earth, a monstrous gigamyth rises whilst parting tectonic plates. It roars, dissipating the storm.


I sit atop Godzilla as he walks two massive paces and laser beams the hill. The resulting explosion throws up countless tons of earth, destroying the ecosystem and probably even the continents's climate for a couple of seasons. It did also make a couple of shabby hills, so I pick one at random and sit there watching the carnage. Seems another monster appeared and the two are now fighting, but why would I care? I'm king of the hill.
 
I remind Godzilla that he is the defender of earth and rebalancer of the ecosystem. he defies you and, after destroying his opposition, decimates your hill with a radioactive blast before reshaping the landscape through pure force of strength. I now sit atop the new hill, for I am king of the hill.
 
I tell Godzilla that he should listen to me, an ignorant American working in the film industry, and do whatever I think would make a lot of money. That he should just act like the big monster that he is and destroy stuff with awesome special effects.


He is unimpressed with this and returns to hunting radioactive monsters or whatever he does with his spare time.


I change tact, and set up a lemonade stand at the bottom of the hill. I earn money by misspelling the "e" in lemonade to be cute, and earn enough to become a global producer of "Hilltop Lemonade". I buy out the surrounding acres of land and kick out any trespassers. I sit with my council on the backyard hill, trying to come up with new marketing ploys. I am the king of the hill.
 
I see a hill in the distance with the company "Hilltop Lemonad" I steal all the funds causing them to go bankrupt, and making them lose the hill and all the land. I use those funds to buy out the land and put fences. I am king of the hill
 
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I bribe the government to buy out the fences and land, claiming it as "illegal", so they wreck the hill, and make it a monument shaped like a hill. They decided to add a statue of Donald Trump there, and a mini pool so people can be distracted from taking over the hill.


I am the Queen of the Hill.
 
I prey to a god to cause a drought causing the pool to evaporate and everyone leaves. i Then prey to the god to make it rain causing the statue to erode and crumble, and the land to become green again. I am king of the hill
 
As I fly around the hill with a jet, I drop two bombs on top of it, making the current king fly away as I eject out of the jet and land on top of it, I re-claim it for myself.


I am the king of the hill.
 
I enact the geneva convetion upon the current hill owner, convicting him of war crimes. when he is incarcerated I take a walk along the cider road, up to the hill. I am king of the hill
 
I pray to the one true god, and so doth it appear'th. Out of the abyssal corners of the universe, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is summoned. Its gigantic, noodled body destroys the fragile orbits of this solar system's planets. Its googly eyes are the size of ten earths in itself. The special sauce atop it rains down in apocalyptic streaks resembling a comet shower. The air suddenly smells delicious.


It takes but one noodle appendage to gently whisk away the current king, and replace me as the king of the hill.
 
After I escape jail by mysterious ways, I summoned the second real god, Cthulhu, to rewind time and make the Flying Spaghetti Monster return to the outer space, somewhere very far, far away from Earth, while it violently throws the current king down the hill, as I follow the dirty road to the top, once again re-claiming the hill.
 
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