Opinion (Closed)

[The Explorer]

So, I am a twenty three year old man who has never had a girlfriend in my life, but that is mainly because when I did have my chances, I messed up and was left scarred for life. So, I joke about it a lot, but I won't ever fall in love too easily. That being said, due to the fact that a life of watching anime has somewhat construed my sense of romance and taste in women, I need proper friends, and only friends, to be there when I need them, as a sort of, "Getting acquainted with the idea of being around women without fear of them scarring me for life" concept.

For this purpose, I was going to create a discord server and invite women who are around my age to just chat about our interests and stuff.

But now i'm having second thoughts. I need your valued opinion, is this a bad idea after all or am I just overthinking it?

 

[Gold On White And Black]

This is a bad idea, and I think you already have an inkling that this is a bad idea. What I think you need to internalize, and that you probably already know mentally, is fundamentally, in the things that matter most, women are just like men. If you really want to pull off an idea like this, you're better off starting a server where anyone is invited, but no one can reveal their gender.

 

[The Explorer]

This is a bad idea, and I think you already have an inkling that this is a bad idea. What I think you need to internalize, and that you probably already know mentally, is fundamentally, in the things that matter most, women are just like men. If you really want to pull off an idea like this, you're better off starting a server where anyone is invited, but no one can reveal their gender.

Yeah, I kind of had second doubts myself which is why I posted it for an opinion. I had my suspicions but there is one thing I don't agree with you on.

Women are wonderfully and beautifully special people who are unique in and of themselves. Men are unique to a fault, but they could never have the emotional strength and mental capacity to give birth.

They are not fundamentally the same at all in my opinion. In fact, I'd be happy to get past my fear of romance knowing that a woman with a beautiful heart would be there with me every step of the way.

 

[Gold On White And Black]

I'm going to agree to disagree here. I'm not saying men and women are the same--we wouldn't have different words if they were--, but I really do believe, that in the ways that matter most, gender doesn't make a difference.

 

[Kazami42]

It's a trap!
Evasive maneuvers!

 

[The Explorer]

It's a trap!
Evasive maneuvers!

Ha, yeah. Though I have my ways to figure out a woman's personality and other things about them, that's one rabbit hole i'd prefer not to take a swan dive into.

 

[Kazami42]

Ha, yeah. Though I have my ways to figure out a woman's personality and other things about them, that's one rabbit hole i'd prefer not to take a swan dive into.

Well technically you did with the emotion thing, but I'm not touching that either. I'll leave my mention and run off at mach 3. I ain't gonna be no kamikaze yo.

 

[Lucyfer]

Speaking as a woman: this is an atrocious idea. Your phrasing of it as a harem really didn't make it any better.

Women literally are just people. There's nothing innately special about us compared to men -- I happen to like both men and women romantically, so take that for what you will when it comes to my opinion on that.

If you want to get to know women, then get to know women, but don't do an isolationist sort of group to do that in. If you're concerned about doing it in real life, then a discord group, or various other online mediums, are effective, just don't do the discord group with that sole purpose. Find women you click with through general interactions on various social platforms.

 

[The Explorer]

Speaking as a woman: this is an atrocious idea. Your phrasing of it as a harem really didn't make it any better.

Women literally are just people. There's nothing innately special about us compared to men -- I happen to like both men and women romantically, so take that for what you will when it comes to my opinion on that.

If you want to get to know women, then get to know women, but don't do an isolationist sort of group to do that in. If you're concerned about doing it in real life, then a discord group, or various other online mediums, are effective, just don't do the discord group with that sole purpose. Find women you click with through general interactions on various social platforms.

I assumed it was a terrible idea, that's why I asked if it was wrong of me as a human being to even have considered it. I wanted the opinions of people just to figure out if it made me a terrible person for even thinking about stuff like that.

But i'll just take my time. I'll wait for a woman who will accept me for who I am, flaws and all.

Though I doubt that a woman like that even exists, even if there is a small chance then I will wait patiently.

Thanks for your opinion.

 

[Emotional Enigma]

Theres billions of women on earth. To say you doubt there is a woman out there that will accept your flaws is narrow minded (no offense) and little off putting.

 

[The Explorer]

Theres billions of women on earth. To say you doubt there is a woman out there that will accept your flaws is narrow minded (no offense) and little off putting.

To be fair, hearing that from an Anonymous person from an online site sort of puts my heart at ease, so no offence taken.

Truthfully speaking, I usually keep the belief that there is someone for everyone.

However, I have been struggling with my emotions and doubting myself lately. I mean, I've recently received a gift from my God, a "touch" of the Holy Spirit that manifests itself in a rather unique way.
If I told you the truth you'd either think i'm insane, or distance yourself from me.


Truth be told, I'm afraid. What if I do become the person I've always wanted to be, and then no one will love me for myself. But instead, superficially because of my gift from my God.

I have no idea what to do. I cannot talk about it here, because a moderator took down my post the last time I tried.

That is enough rambling from me.

 

[Idea]

I may be beating the dead horse by now, but it really needs emphasizing: Don't do this. It comes off as demeaning and (I can't believe I'm saying this) misoginistic. Even if your intention isn't romantic nor malicious.

I'm a guy who has problems connecting and getting close to people in real life - any people, in general. However, through shared interests you can connect with people. As others have recommended, a discord group that allows people in general to join you'd probably be better received and be a much better idea in general. If that thought doesn't appeal to you, there are chat apps online you can use to talk to people. Back when I still used Omegle for instance, plenty of people (women included) were sometimes happy to just get to talk to someone who wasn't asking them for nudes.

 

[Tove]

That title though.....

Do. Not. Do. It.

 

[peritwinkle]

That being said, due to the fact that a life of watching anime has somewhat construed my sense of romance and taste in women,

You can’t convince me you ain’t trolling

 

[HorrorShowFreak]

Um, I hate to be the one to say this but Uhhh that title was pretty cringe worthy. Annnnd again, not to point out the obvious here but let's leave anime to what it is. Entertainment. I wouldn't try mixing anime with real life, considering a lot of anime has gross representation of both genders. If you start treating women like mindless bimbos you're not going to have a fun time. Truthfully this whole statement is off putting. The title makes you seem like you don't truly want women friends but actually.... ya know fuck buddies. *Shrugs* Who am I to judge though, maybe I'm just misreading the situation.

 

[Scribz]

This is so problematic I wouldn't even know where to begin. The fact you even asked this is so weird to me.
Aside from what others have mentioned, I'd suggest a little less anime. xD
I like some anime as much as most people, but it's got a lot of sexist and disgusting misogyny all over it.
Horrible romantic reference. 0/10, do not recommend this course of action.

ABORT!

 

[Melpomene]

I cannot lie.

I honestly cringed upon reading this.

I hope you are trolling.

If not, don't do this. For the love of all things holy, don't do this.

 

[The Explorer]

So, after the first few replies, i got the idea. Any more than this will send me into a depression. I only wanted to know if thinking of something like that made me a terrible person. It is clear to me what the answer is now.

I'm dealing with a bunch of emotional and mental issues.

It was why this thread even exists.

I honestly was not trying to troll. I am insane.

So, can we just end this thread before what's left of my heart breaks?

 

[peritwinkle]

My dude if you do have issues just call up a doc. Posting stuff like this - especially when you KNOW the replies won't be positive - won't help loads.

Also maybe stop watching so much anime

 

[InKryption]

So, after the first few replies, i got the idea. Any more than this will send me into a depression. I only wanted to know if thinking of something like that made me a terrible person. It is clear to me what the answer is now.

I'm dealing with a bunch of emotional and mental issues.

It was why this thread even exists.

I honestly was not trying to troll. I am insane.

So, can we just end this thread before what's left of my heart breaks?

Hey, bud. Listen here: you're not a terrible person. Nobody is inherently evil, or awful. There are only actions, and intentions. Thoughts, desires, are entirely separate concepts.
Everyone has these so-called "evil" thoughts - man is a creature with morbid thoughts. Just look at comedy: we laugh at people online getting hurt, at absurd jokes, jokes about untrue stereotypes, about how the world is dying, etc. But these acts are not the same as endorsement. It's a coping mechanism, an escapism. Anyway, point is: thoughts do not make you evil, there are only evil actions and intentions.

And, as well, don't forget, humans are probably the farthest thing from "perfect", as far as our brains go. Our minds are plastic, malleable. It doesn't take too much, before they can become deformed, and misdirected. Lead astray from stability. And so the topic of "evil and good" becomes much more complicated than it already is.
But, to avoid that complicated discussion, let's just look at the current reality: you are having thoughts and desires. You haven't acted on these desires, and in fact, you are yourself aware that they may not be very good for anyone involved. And, it is for that reason, I firmly believe that you are not a terrible person. I believe you have great potential, to be a fantastic person.

You are hurting right now. You're confused, and stumbling through situations, all while trying to cope with issues that get you negative attention, and which few people in your vicinity will understand.

Like the Administration Team has stated, we are users on a Roleplaying Website. We are not professionals. And so, I urge you, beg of you, to seek out help. Maybe it's a bit cheesy and far-fetched to say anyone can be a good person if they try; but I do believe, in your case in particular, from what I gather, you most definitely can be a good person.

 

[Draegan]

Coming from someone with a reverse harem, it's all fun and games at first. It really is fun. It's a great feeling to be loved and adored by people, and there's a sense of security because you have "options". However, this reverse harem has been going on for four years- and it's only growing. I'll establish this: I have a SO and I make it clear to everyone that I am uninterested in dating them. I am not leading anyone on. I am kind to them and I'm their friend, but I shut down romance.

Once you've found that partner, it turns into hell. Suddenly, all those friends you had to talk to and rely on act like you're a complete stranger. To them, you've betrayed them. You suddenly have no one but that single SO. You don't have anyone to share your happiness to, to admit little things to, to laugh, to hang out with- all of it has changed because you chose someone.

Harems are horrible. Horrible. Animes and shows portray them as funny, silly, light-hearted, and romantic- but really, they're a world of hurt. Everytime you talk about someone else, someone gets jealous, and you're stuck in the "girlfriend zone" for every person you know- because they don't think of you as a friend, they want to date you. And it's not one or two people- it's your entire inner circle of friends- gone in a heartbeat, and none of them thought of you as a friend the way you did. They wanted your body. Only your body.

While I cannot stop you from trying anything, I promise you, it's not all cracked up to be.

 

[The Explorer]

Coming from someone with a reverse harem, it's all fun and games at first. It really is fun. It's a great feeling to be loved and adored by people, and there's a sense of security because you have "options". However, this reverse harem has been going on for four years- and it's only growing. I'll establish this: I have a SO and I make it clear to everyone that I am uninterested in dating them. I am not leading anyone on. I am kind to them and I'm their friend, but I shut down romance.

Once you've found that partner, it turns into hell. Suddenly, all those friends you had to talk to and rely on act like you're a complete stranger. To them, you've betrayed them. You suddenly have no one but that single SO. You don't have anyone to share your happiness to, to admit little things to, to laugh, to hang out with- all of it has changed because you chose someone.

Harems are horrible. Horrible. Animes and shows portray them as funny, silly, light-hearted, and romantic- but really, they're a world of hurt. Everytime you talk about someone else, someone gets jealous, and you're stuck in the "girlfriend zone" for every person you know- because they don't think of you as a friend, they want to date you. And it's not one or two people- it's your entire inner circle of friends- gone in a heartbeat, and none of them thought of you as a friend the way you did. They wanted your body. Only your body.

While I cannot stop you from trying anything, I promise you, it's not all cracked up to be.

I want to reiterate yet again, I have been going through a lapse in sanity, as well as an emotional and mental breakdown.

I only made this thread because of that.

Though, I really need to vent some stuff, I will not be doing that.

I'm going to close this thread before my heart shatters from regret. Have a nice day.

Also, does anyone know any good vent threads?

 

[Onmyoji]

I'm going to close this thread before my heart shatters from regret. Have a nice day.

Since you expressed the wish to close the thread as you don't want to continue the discussion, and also a number of users expressed concerns about the nature of the thread, it will be closed for new replies.

You're welcome to create a new thread if you would like to vent about something else.

Thank you for understanding and for keeping the dicussion civil.