cojemo
2000 IQ Killjoy Detective
Hey there, all who may read this!
This isn't my first time making an absence post, but unlike last time where I left because I wasn't feeling well, things are a little different here. You see, I plan to vacate this site, for how long I don't know, but I don't plan on coming back anytime soon. Maybe half a year, maybe a full year, maybe two; I don't know. What I do know is that while I'll definitely miss so much about this place, I'm leaving happy.
While I'm here, let's take a look back at my RPing career, shall we? I started RPing not too long ago actually, and in fact it was entirely accidental. I had a couple of friends who played a lot of DnD which I was interested in, but due to me being too shy as well as my social anxiety I never asked to play with them. However, I was always curious about it. Jump ahead to what I believe was February of 2014, and my friend had told me about this interesting image he found depicting certain Pokemon as gods and each giving benefits depending on who you aligned with (not a good description, but here is the image for those curious). Anyways, he told me to try and find it, and I did, on an rping site based off that image. However, the only way to view that image was to make an account, and so I did, and then the people in charge noticed and asked if I wanted to join. A part of me felt obligated to because I made an account and would have felt bad if I didn't join, but I was also very curious about the whole thing. So I joined. And I sucked. Really badly. But still, I enjoyed it, and that's where it all started.
However, as things went on it became a bit more than just simple enjoyment. See, at the time - event though I didn't realize it - I was going through depression. Even though I had friends I felt lonely, and I never felt like I had a real purpose. Rping gave me those things. It gave me people that relied on me, a purpose to focus on, and that wasn't exactly healthy. Even though I enjoyed Rping - and I still do - it's always felt like an obligation of mine and a job. I always felt pressured to post and put up the absolute best stuff possible, and if I wasn't proud of it or someone expressed displeasure I beat myself over it constantly. Heck, I still do that. Still, people here relied on me, expected me to be here and RP to the best of my ability. That's probably why I became as good as I am (not that I, second place winner of the 2015 character tournament, am bragging or anything). I never wanted to let anyone down or disappoint them with sub-par work, so I strived to be the best possible. That and my competitive nature, but that's beside the point.
And that's what brings me here. See, a while ago when I posted my first leave of absence I left because I was going through heavy depression and struggling to keep up here. I got better, but the depression never left. Things HAVE improved drastically recently though. I've been able to motivate myself to do things I couldn't before, I've focused my mind, and probably most importantly of all I've found someone that's made me a lot happier and given me a clear purpose and someone to rely on. With all of that, I can't really find it in myself to RP at the moment. I no longer need it to fill that void that I had for so long, and right now the stress of it all isn't helping. On top of that, I'm just not motivated to do so anymore. That's why I'm leaving this site. That's not to say I won't be back mind you, as I do love RPing, but I'll be back when I feel motivated to do so, and right now I'm just not.
I'll really miss this place and all the memories it has. I still remember one of my very first RP's here: Hawthorne Academy it was called. A super powered high school RP. Even though I wasn't super talkative then I still met so many people I like to call friends still. It was fun, and probably the biggest contributor to my growth as an RPer. I started out basically complete trash, but as the RP went on me and everyone involved grew as writers as we all enjoyed working together. And even though I don't think I was super good at the time, I still think the character I made for that is the best I've ever made. Well, the best in theory. I made a lot of mistakes RPing Mars Porter back then, but now I see how I could improve him by tweaking a couple of things slightly and what I could have done differently. That entire RP was great, and it helped that I met some great people out of it.
Anyways, yeah! I feel like I'm rambling a lot as I tend to do, so I'm going to jump straight to the people I want to say goodbye to. It must seem like Deja vu for you guys, huh?
Farewells
@Prizzy Kriyze We don't exactly talk a whole lot now, heck I don't even know if you knew I was back, but you are still someone I consider a good friend. You were quite easy to talk to and I really liked how you were always quite honest and blunt with things. I don't think you were the best RPer, but you were definitely very competent, and I still think Geno and Mars is one of my absolute favourite character relationships I've ever had in an RP. Really wish things could have developed more between the two. Anyways, I know another of the originals is leaving you - this time for much longer - but I still want you to know I really appreciated having you around.
@Servant Even though we never interacted a whole lot, you still seemed like a very chill and fun person. Your writing was creative and imaginative, and you seemed to really put that extra bit of care into the things you worked on. I still remember that Persona RP you mad way back as well as Silent Frontline or whatever it was called. You put a lot of work into both of those, and it was a shame that they seemed to be dragged down by a couple of bad eggs. Anyways, I really hope things in general work out for you.
@Queen Rai I don't think I need to say a lot to you, huh? I've already told you what I think many times, so I'll just leave it at that. Plus, we could always talk later.
@The One Eyed Bandit You still suck. That is all.
...
Ah, I think I'll give a proper farewell. It's always nice to have someone to joke around with, and you happened to fit that bill perfectly. You were very fun to be around and also just very chill. It also helped that you were one of the few people on this site also interested in the Raildex stuff. I mean seriously, how many times did those RP's fail? Anyways, back on topic. You were always a fantastic Rper who made very fun and interesting characters, that I don't need to tell you. I do really wish we had more chances to interact together in RP's, because the ones we did do so in were fantastic. Anyways, Keep on being you, even if that you is an obnoxious, below average dweeb.
...Nah, I'm only joking... kinda...
@YouKnowWhoYouAre there's one other person I want to mention. I have no idea if you are still on this site or not, but if you are I hope SOMEONE will inform you and show this to you. You first contacted me when I set up my Index Rp, and since then things have been a bit rocky. I've ticked you off, you've ticked me off, and all around things haven't been smooth sailings. However, I do want you to know I did appreciate talking to you even if it didn't seem like it. You did have a bit of a temper, but you also seemed pretty cool, and it was neat debating with you. Hopefully you see this, but if you don't, well, I dunno.
And I think that's it. Damn, I sure do like my rambling, don't I? Anyways, I think it's about time I wrap things up. I do plan on staying around here for a while, maybe a month or so, maybe more, but as far as RPing goes I'm done for now. That means I'll be up for casual chatter. However, if there is a character challenge this year I WILL be back to claim my rightful spot as number one (as well as kick @The One Eyed Bandit 's ass, but that's just a given, isn't it?). You know, I like this. Even though I'll miss some things, I'm leaving happy. Right now this just isn't right for me, and when it is you can be sure I'll be back and better than ever. However, as of right now, this is it. It's been a hell of a lot of fun, RPN! See ya when I return!
This isn't my first time making an absence post, but unlike last time where I left because I wasn't feeling well, things are a little different here. You see, I plan to vacate this site, for how long I don't know, but I don't plan on coming back anytime soon. Maybe half a year, maybe a full year, maybe two; I don't know. What I do know is that while I'll definitely miss so much about this place, I'm leaving happy.
While I'm here, let's take a look back at my RPing career, shall we? I started RPing not too long ago actually, and in fact it was entirely accidental. I had a couple of friends who played a lot of DnD which I was interested in, but due to me being too shy as well as my social anxiety I never asked to play with them. However, I was always curious about it. Jump ahead to what I believe was February of 2014, and my friend had told me about this interesting image he found depicting certain Pokemon as gods and each giving benefits depending on who you aligned with (not a good description, but here is the image for those curious). Anyways, he told me to try and find it, and I did, on an rping site based off that image. However, the only way to view that image was to make an account, and so I did, and then the people in charge noticed and asked if I wanted to join. A part of me felt obligated to because I made an account and would have felt bad if I didn't join, but I was also very curious about the whole thing. So I joined. And I sucked. Really badly. But still, I enjoyed it, and that's where it all started.
However, as things went on it became a bit more than just simple enjoyment. See, at the time - event though I didn't realize it - I was going through depression. Even though I had friends I felt lonely, and I never felt like I had a real purpose. Rping gave me those things. It gave me people that relied on me, a purpose to focus on, and that wasn't exactly healthy. Even though I enjoyed Rping - and I still do - it's always felt like an obligation of mine and a job. I always felt pressured to post and put up the absolute best stuff possible, and if I wasn't proud of it or someone expressed displeasure I beat myself over it constantly. Heck, I still do that. Still, people here relied on me, expected me to be here and RP to the best of my ability. That's probably why I became as good as I am (not that I, second place winner of the 2015 character tournament, am bragging or anything). I never wanted to let anyone down or disappoint them with sub-par work, so I strived to be the best possible. That and my competitive nature, but that's beside the point.
And that's what brings me here. See, a while ago when I posted my first leave of absence I left because I was going through heavy depression and struggling to keep up here. I got better, but the depression never left. Things HAVE improved drastically recently though. I've been able to motivate myself to do things I couldn't before, I've focused my mind, and probably most importantly of all I've found someone that's made me a lot happier and given me a clear purpose and someone to rely on. With all of that, I can't really find it in myself to RP at the moment. I no longer need it to fill that void that I had for so long, and right now the stress of it all isn't helping. On top of that, I'm just not motivated to do so anymore. That's why I'm leaving this site. That's not to say I won't be back mind you, as I do love RPing, but I'll be back when I feel motivated to do so, and right now I'm just not.
I'll really miss this place and all the memories it has. I still remember one of my very first RP's here: Hawthorne Academy it was called. A super powered high school RP. Even though I wasn't super talkative then I still met so many people I like to call friends still. It was fun, and probably the biggest contributor to my growth as an RPer. I started out basically complete trash, but as the RP went on me and everyone involved grew as writers as we all enjoyed working together. And even though I don't think I was super good at the time, I still think the character I made for that is the best I've ever made. Well, the best in theory. I made a lot of mistakes RPing Mars Porter back then, but now I see how I could improve him by tweaking a couple of things slightly and what I could have done differently. That entire RP was great, and it helped that I met some great people out of it.
Anyways, yeah! I feel like I'm rambling a lot as I tend to do, so I'm going to jump straight to the people I want to say goodbye to. It must seem like Deja vu for you guys, huh?
Farewells
@Prizzy Kriyze We don't exactly talk a whole lot now, heck I don't even know if you knew I was back, but you are still someone I consider a good friend. You were quite easy to talk to and I really liked how you were always quite honest and blunt with things. I don't think you were the best RPer, but you were definitely very competent, and I still think Geno and Mars is one of my absolute favourite character relationships I've ever had in an RP. Really wish things could have developed more between the two. Anyways, I know another of the originals is leaving you - this time for much longer - but I still want you to know I really appreciated having you around.
@Servant Even though we never interacted a whole lot, you still seemed like a very chill and fun person. Your writing was creative and imaginative, and you seemed to really put that extra bit of care into the things you worked on. I still remember that Persona RP you mad way back as well as Silent Frontline or whatever it was called. You put a lot of work into both of those, and it was a shame that they seemed to be dragged down by a couple of bad eggs. Anyways, I really hope things in general work out for you.
@Queen Rai I don't think I need to say a lot to you, huh? I've already told you what I think many times, so I'll just leave it at that. Plus, we could always talk later.
@The One Eyed Bandit You still suck. That is all.
...
Ah, I think I'll give a proper farewell. It's always nice to have someone to joke around with, and you happened to fit that bill perfectly. You were very fun to be around and also just very chill. It also helped that you were one of the few people on this site also interested in the Raildex stuff. I mean seriously, how many times did those RP's fail? Anyways, back on topic. You were always a fantastic Rper who made very fun and interesting characters, that I don't need to tell you. I do really wish we had more chances to interact together in RP's, because the ones we did do so in were fantastic. Anyways, Keep on being you, even if that you is an obnoxious, below average dweeb.
...Nah, I'm only joking... kinda...
@YouKnowWhoYouAre there's one other person I want to mention. I have no idea if you are still on this site or not, but if you are I hope SOMEONE will inform you and show this to you. You first contacted me when I set up my Index Rp, and since then things have been a bit rocky. I've ticked you off, you've ticked me off, and all around things haven't been smooth sailings. However, I do want you to know I did appreciate talking to you even if it didn't seem like it. You did have a bit of a temper, but you also seemed pretty cool, and it was neat debating with you. Hopefully you see this, but if you don't, well, I dunno.
And I think that's it. Damn, I sure do like my rambling, don't I? Anyways, I think it's about time I wrap things up. I do plan on staying around here for a while, maybe a month or so, maybe more, but as far as RPing goes I'm done for now. That means I'll be up for casual chatter. However, if there is a character challenge this year I WILL be back to claim my rightful spot as number one (as well as kick @The One Eyed Bandit 's ass, but that's just a given, isn't it?). You know, I like this. Even though I'll miss some things, I'm leaving happy. Right now this just isn't right for me, and when it is you can be sure I'll be back and better than ever. However, as of right now, this is it. It's been a hell of a lot of fun, RPN! See ya when I return!
