I have to ask, what's up with all the romance?

Azel

New Member
Something that has been confusing me ever since I joined sites completely devoted to roleplaying is just how insanely popular pairings are as the main theme of an rp.


When viewing the 1 on 1 interest check you'l notice that almost all the request posted there are either plots based on certain pairings or in more extreme cases just a list of pairings.


Am I the only one who thinks that is a rather flawed way to build a plot? Call me old fashioned but I always believed the plot should be the main focus of any story. Romance can easily be part of that of the plot, a beneficial part of the plot, but in the end it remains that....a part, a tool in the toolbox but in most requests its mentioned as THE core aspect of the plot, the thing the whole roleplay revolves around.


I just find this a weird concept, after all how can you decide such a thing beforehand? What if the two characters just don't have that ''click'' required for a romance to form? If that's the case you either have to drop the rp or go on with a forced romance between two incompatible characters. Would it not be smarter to first create an overall plot, then fill it with characters and only THEN start paring them based on who gets along the best with whom.


I also find it highly restrictive when you have to come up with the events that make up the plot because since the romance is the core aspect that will be the aspect that stand in the spotlight before all others. Other cast members can be introduced but in the end it still all resolves around the couple. The evil king can plot to destroy the world as many times as he likes but in the end he's just the background noise compared to the blossoming romance, his actions are designed to bring them closer, a villains scheme is mere background and stopping it isn't as important as the main two growing closer together.


Supporting cast members are also somewhat handicapped when you base the world around just two people. Sometimes you create a side character both you and your partner like and ''promote'' him to the status of main character but even then he will not a real mean character but a lesser one, obviously inferior in status to the couple.


It was honestly kind of a ''culture shock'' to see all those request like ''Templar x mage'' ''assasin x target'' ''Princess x commoner'' when I was used to things like:


Playing out the events of different fire emblem games through the eyes of certain characters


What if Pit crashed in Hyrule during the events of Ocarina of time?


Lets have Etna overthrow Laharl!


Would Caesar have been a Tempar or an Assasin?


Did that last bit come across a bit elitist? I hope not, I'm actually casual in every sense of the world, I just find the great focus on pairings rather restrictive instead of adding to the freedom you should preferably have in an rp.
 
Check interest check instead of 1x1s?


1x1s are, more often than not, romance based.
 
I agree with Atom; however, I would also like to add that just because a person lists a pairing, i.e.: vampire x human hunter, that doesn't necessarily make it a romantic pairing. Sometimes, the player intends just to have a vampire and a human hunter interacting in a strictly platonic sense (or be enemies, or lovers, or friends, or indifferent to one another but forced together by a twist of fate...). Like a lot of people on 1v1, I sometimes feel guilty just listing a whole slue of plots and telling people to pick one as it makes me the sole creator of our roleplay and may limit their ability to pitch ideas into the story.


As such, I enjoy creating a plot alongside a potential partner as it allows for equal input on the events and the world a roleplay will be revolving around. Sometimes, I like to list "pairings" (romantic or not) just so I have a jumping off point with someone who is interested in roleplaying with me. It's a bit easier to narrow down what a partner will and will not be interested in that scenario.
 
Romance is one of the quintessential examples of interaction between people. Often I've found 1 v 1 roleplays to be mainly filled with young women (although occasionally men) who are hoping to experience the electrifying, tense, and satisfying experience of a fulfilled romantic fantasy. In that sense, their specific goal is the romance. Context can make the idea more arousing and/or relatable. The forbidden love between prince and commoner, for instance, makes the idea feel more dangerous. Or something like a blooming high school relationship is something a young roleplayer could definitely put him or herself into the shoes of.


Lots of people are looking to satisfy that itch for an exciting romance to sweep them off the ground of dull, monotonous life and into the arms of a passionate fantasy. It's not a bad thing; it's just that what they're searching for is on a narrower scope than you are.


I'm not saying that all 1 v 1 roleplayers are looking for this, like @Nakinagara commented, some people are bored without the romance, because that's one of the roleplay experiences they're looking to have.


It's just a difference in perspective. When you look at it from their side, it's a lot easier to understand.
 
In my opinion an rp plot centered around romance is doable, so long as there are conflicts and problems to solve...otherwise, I think it'd probably get boring fast. There has to be something getting in the way of their romance--evil parents, social status, different world views, etc. The creative part is seeing how the characters overcome these obstacles.


Though I understand your point of view, I don't believe that pre-determined romance is a flawed way to build a plot. Just as there are people who like action and fantasy, there are people who like romance and want to see a certain pairing. Yes, sometimes characters just won't "click". At that point, I see no reason in to force characters together. Simply tell the other rper that you don't think the characters will work well together and, if the other rper doesn't like that, drop out of the rp. A good romance rp is very hard to do, but I have seen some really good ones out there so it's not impossible.


It's true that romance rps are pretty restrictive(more so than any other type of rp), but I think that holds true to every rp...at least to a certain degree. All rp plot and events are limited to the world they are set in and the limitations of that world. In the case of romance rps, the plot is limited to the romance aspect between the two main characters. Romance rps will focus on how the conflict affects the romance as the main plot rather than the conflict itself. It's definitely a shift in focus(plot-wise at least), but for ppl who enjoy more personal interactions and character development they might find romance rps more entertaining.


Side characters don't have to be unimportant. If done right side characters can become the main villains, best friends, or crucial to the overall romance plot. It's true that side characters often get shoved to the side when it comes to character development. However, if a character is liked enough I don't see why you can't elevate the character to main character status. Create a plot surrounding the side-character's own love life and have the main character act as a supporting character.


I don't have a problem with romance rps, but I have a problem with poorly developed romance rps--ones built with no conflict. I also dislike romance rps where the rper focuses so much on the romance that they do not stay in character. What's the point of doing a Snape x Hermoine rp if you aren't even going to rp as Snape would?
 
Of course you are going to find lots of romance if you go on the 1x1 RP section. 1x1 are based around the interactions of two persons. Two persons completely isolated from prying eyes in a probably sandbox roleplay where the setting is built around just those two persons by those two persons. I think it's very obvious where is it going to end.


Thing is, romance is overused outside roleplay. It's in your books, in your movies, in your videogames... it sells because people like love, and there is nothing wrong with that. However, the main problem is that it is also one of the easiest genres to write, and most of the romance works you can find out there are mediocre generic garbage (that still sells a lot because people like romance that much), but this is a completely different issue.


When you think of 1x1, you think of two persons in intimacy, and that makes you think of the obvious. In addition, since they are often GM-less (GM as in the person who challenges their players) games, they don't make for good mysteries or fights since there could be no judge or writer for them. However, the need of a plot engine is still there, and one of the most efficient and easiest to build plot engines for two players is love. They are cooperative writing sandboxes for two players, there is not much else you can do other than writing an interesting setting.


For people actually willing to challenge their players, 1x1 will just fall short. Yes, you can technically build a game for one person, but things get funnier with groups of 3-5 players. This is why you will pretty much never see "singleplayer" 1x1 games where one of the players is the GM.


That said, romance is still very present outside of 1x1. Why? Because people like romance, and unless there is a thrilling plot that doesn't leave time for love, people will probably opt for the easy and gratifying romance path.


tl;dr become a GM and throw so many obstacles at your players that your players will be more focused on surviving than on kissing each other.
 
@Blumenkranz


I definitely see your point.


However, I will argue that what you are talking about is more about lack of creativity in rps (forgive me if I'm putting words in your mouth. Feel free to correct me if you don't agree.) I've been in some really bad group rps and I've been to some really good ones. I've been in some really bad 1x1 and I've been in some really good 1x1. From my experience, whether an rp falls short or not depends on the rpers I'm rping with and their creativity rather than the type of rp.


I agree with you that 1x1 are really more sandbox rps than their group counterparts. These rps require both rpers to be equal participants and work together to make the rp succeed. They involve fully fleshed out characters with complete backgrounds being put together and seeing how they interact. More often then not both rpers will have to control npcs to make it work. It's sort of like trying to build a story with two people. In someways it's difficult because it requires more creativity and in some ways it's easier because there's not a bunch of things happening at the same time.


I believe that 1x1 rps can be plenty challenging with the right plot. I was in an 1x1 rp where my friendly, cheerful character is supposed to be in love with another rpers emo character, who happens to be an apathetic assassin. I had quite a fun and challenging time getting my character to try to win 'apathetic assassin's' affection. She succeeded in the end btw =) . Creativity and characters responding to each other, as well as ability to stay in character, is the key. In 1x1 both rpers have control of the world...it's just most rpers forget that and usually try to leave it to one person, who usually runs out of ideas eventually.


Romance rps generally run one of 2 plots: Two characters that are not in love somehow end up together or two characters that are already in love try and keep their relationship despite outside interference. And this is just pure romance. Yes, it's generic, but I rarely find really creative rps in other categories either...all of them usually fall into a trope of some kind. I actually find a good romance extremely hard to write because romance writers have to work pretty hard to make their romance original.


In conclusion, I believe that there's nothing inherently wrong with plots based off on pre-determined romance or pairings. If there are problems with many of the romance rps on this site, it is due to lack of creativity and conflict rather than romance rps themselves. Some of the romance 1xt rps I've been in are a lot more interesting than several group rps I've been in where ppl don't get notifications and get confused because some ppl post too fast for others to keep up with.
 
I like how the thread creator hasn't even been back to view this it seems...


xD
 
Atom said:
I like how the thread creator hasn't even been back to view this it seems...
xD
Lol. I almost forgot about this thread until someone responded to my post^^


However, if someone does, I try my best to respond back.
 
QuirkyAngel said:
Lol. I almost forgot about this thread until someone responded to my post^^
However, if someone does, I try my best to respond back.
Oh of course, that's how discussions are had :P


I just thought it was hilarious that he/she hasn't posted here once lol


Although I'm enjoying reading the discussion taking place. Continue, continue. :P
 
Romance rps generally run one of 2 plots: Two characters that are not in love somehow end up together or two characters that are already in love try and keep their relationship despite outside interference. And this is just pure romance. Yes, it's generic, but I rarely find really creative rps in other categories either...all of them usually fall into a trope of some kind. I actually find a good romance extremely hard to write because romance writers have to work pretty hard to make their romance original.


Well, the lack of creativity definitely is a problem, but even with creative plots there would still be lots of romance. As you said, writing an original romance is very difficult since everything has already been tried out, but it's not difficult at all to write an acceptable generic romance, at least compared with other genres. In comedy, you have to think of good fresh jokes, and in this case originality is required; in tragedies, characterization and making the reader empathize with the characters is extremely important, in addition to just adding the exact amount of tragedy so your story doesn't end up like Oscar Gold; in fantasy and sci-fi, the required amount of worldbuilding is very large; in mystery, it is necessary to know when and what clues to leave at every moment, while also making an interesting mystery, of course; and probably the most difficult genre of them all may be horror, since not everyone reacts the same to every type of horror (for example, splatter usually bores me, but psychological horror can deprive me of sleep for days) and it is necessary to follow patterns similar to mystery for how much to reveal about it.


The point is, 1x1 are going to be about the interaction of two characters 99% of the time. We can divide the types of relationships two characters can have as friendly or antagonistic.


You could totally play an antagonistic relationship roleplay and, for example, fight each other, but with the lack of a GM/judge to determine if someone is godmodding or bullshitting, it is probably not going to be fun unless both players are very good at it and know when to lose. Other types of antagonistic relationships may not be as attractive as rivalry/hate as it would be very difficult to maintain the encounters; if two people don't like each other they are probably going to try to cooperate the least they can.


This only leaves us with friendly relationships. You could make a game about friendship, but friendship is often not considered as powerful as love (mind you, two expert writers could totally write a friendship story more beautiful than most love stories, but it's more difficult to pull). You could also write a story about loyalty, but those will often transform into love after a while (just like the others). The best gratification/difficulty type of relationship to write is love, which is why most people will tend to make roleplays based around that.


However, this is not actually a problem. 1x1 are the easiest roleplays to maintain since you just have to find a person interested to roleplay with you, and since the 1x1 forum is quite big, you will probably find at least one person who will like your idea. I would be more worried with romance in other roleplays, since it tends to isolate the two (or three, not gonna judge) players involved from the rest, which will effectively make a 1x1 roleplay inside a group roleplay.
 
Lol. I can't argue when I agree with everything you said =P


People doing romance in group rps tend to forget that they're in a group and just interact with one rper. They just get too excited. That has nothing to do with romance or pre-determined pairings. A good rper will interact with all other characters, while maintaining romance, and generally respond to each character actions even if only in their head. I've seen rpers isolate other characters in non-romance rps as well where they just stick to rping with friends or characters that are close in location rather than simply having their character take a plane to the another character's location. After all, even in group rps there are 1x1 conversations at times.


My argument is simply that it isn't the romance that causes this to happen, but rather the rpers simply choosing to not interact with one another.


Yes, good 1x1 are very difficult to do without a gm. Finding the right partner is difficult. However, once you do it's extremely satisfying. I'm one of those rpers who has no problems making my character lose when necessary and my characters tend to respond to everything another character(s) does. Even if to mentioned that my character didn't notice it. The rp partners I enjoy rping with tend to do the same. That's why I'm not against pairings as I've been in some good romance rps with some good rp partners.
 
My random, stream of consciousness thoughts on all that's been said:


Having been and currently doing a romance within a group RP, I'd have to agree that it can be difficult not winding up neglecting everything else and turning into a 1x1 with the group. And it's easy to wind up feeling like you're either neglecting the romance or neglecting the RP. Though I will say that in the group RP I'm doing, the romance is what kept me from quitting. Everything else was getting stale as the person running it hasn't put much time into keeping things going. In addition, the two of us have been trying hard to avoid the stereotypical "googly eyes romance" and have spent a bit of time trying to plot things out.


I think the hard part about RP'ing an antagonistic relationship is not coming across like an ass hole and offending other people. Didn't fully appreciate this until I tried making one of my characters be antagonistic. And yes, there was plenty of OOC chat taking place the whole time. As far as losing goes, I think that falls under what I call a "sense of balance". It's knowing how to make tradeoffs so you don't wind up as an omnipotent Gary Stu. Unfortunately, a few people that I've RP'ed with weren't capable of doing that.


These days, I like 1x1 RP's more because I only have to deal with the consequences of one person dropping out. Romance doesn't always happen, and typically both of us play at least a couple of non-player characters in addition to the main characters. I've had pretty good luck finding people here so far, but then I typically only respond to maybe one post out of ten pages worth of postings. Usually I let the needs of the story dictate whether a romance will take place if the other person is indifferent about it.


As far as characters being isolated in group RPs and the forming of cliques - I think it's most often due to comfort level than exclusivity. People seem to gravitate to the familiar, and that includes people in an RP. But when you get a group RP above five or six people, subgroups are going to form no matter what. At least that's what I've seen, but that happens in any type of large group. If I actively avoid somebody, it's usually because I don't like RPing with them, which isn't the same as not liking the person.


Here's a dollar. 98 cents change, please.
 
Um... two cents here but I personally believe romance is in its majority started by the


youngest generations until they become to see it as a lesser item in a story (happened


to me as I grew up and out of my weebo fase, weird kids group? that's me).


I believe it fulfills a fantasy one holds about things they'd like in their real life, but it's


so out of reach or reality they dwell on romance on roleplays and such. Also to fulfill the


very specific fantasies they see their favorite characters in, I know, I was there haha.


no need to take me seriously though.
 
An awful lot of this site's userbase is girls in the early teenage years (13-16). You see a lot of romance because the dominant portion of the population here are the same as the Tumblr fans who go crazy over Supernatural wincest.
 
Well I'm an adult and I also enjoy romance. Though it has to be buried inside a good plot. The main plot cannot just be about them.
 
I do think the age-group of our members does have an influence on what genres get played. However I think its important to remember that Romance is one of the many experiences of life and the human-condition. In fact its one of the most dominant.


Not everyone will experience the rush of killing somebody or winning the lottery or have the depression of losing a comrade in war. These experiences can all be roleplayed but for some it might be difficult to imagine such situations that they have no comprehensions towards.


Romance is different. Humans are social creatures. Out of all experiences, a significant majority - if not all - of people will at some-point experiencing romantic or intense feelings in their lives towards another person. For this reason: its relatable to everyone who wants to roleplay. This is why I think it has such a good following. Whether its just dream-fulfillment or a complicated tear-jerking plot, I think that romance roleplays can be successful and fun for everyone involved. So I don't see a major problem with them existing in such numbers on the site.


As for me personally - I think Romance has its place in all plots, so I don't necessarily have a need to play a roleplay centered entirely on romance. Yet I would be a fool to say that ships have not sank, Empires have not risen and fallen, and Hollywood has not made millions on romance and relationships. Its a powerful genre in roleplaying and out.
 
Grey said:
Thirsty teenagers.
/thread
I can't even.


But I have to agree, remembering back to my days as a teenager, the number one reason I did 1x1 stuff was because RAGING HORMONES.
 
Grey said:
Thirsty teenagers.
/thread
Agreed. When you have a site full of young girls, you're bound to see a deluge of romantic RPs. You seldom see it in RP based MUDs because a majority of the player base are in their late 20's and early thirties. Unless of course you're dealing with "that guy". Young girls with sub-par writing skills tend to exhibit "that guy" behaviours.
 
Hmm. Coming from someone who intensely dislikes romantic-oriented roleplays, I suppose I can understand why people enjoy romance roleplays, specially the young girls and all. Now, I don't actually hate romance in roleplays: I hate roleplays about romance. Plots built up around a romance between characters never really made sense to me, specially when characters are invented from scratch just to match the criteria of the interest check. (>_>)


I also hate it when people force a romance roleplay. Out of the blue. Without no previous romantic friction or tension before.


Jeez, I was once playing a poor innocent humanoid cthulhu-esque abomination and he got harassed by this human chick. No, really.(>n>)


He had freaking tentacles for a face! And he was strangling people! You do not flirt with a tentacle-face who's strangling people! It's just rude!
 
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I understand that younger roleplayers tend to lean toward romanticized roleplays. But I in no way believe that the majority of the romance roleplay fanbase is both young and female. Personally, I rarely engage in romance roleplays. I know of many older roleplayers (I would almost dare to say as many as younger) that engage in romance-oriented roleplays. And I know many boys or men that engage in 'romantic' plots.


People usually do romance rps because they enjoy it. Not everyone does, but some people - of any kind - do.
 
I've been on several RP boards, all with different age groups. Every single site, no matter the age or gender, has a lot of romance, which pairs well with 1x1 RPs. It has nothing to do with gender or age. It has to do with the human psyche. Many of us are wired for romance and intimacy, some more than others. Yes, perhaps sixteen year old girls are more inclined to want romance out of all the age groups and genders, but they're not the only.


Take the Bourne Identity as an example. Its target audience is more males between 20-35 years old (general guess). Yet if marketed differently, about an assassin with no memory who seeks the help of a reluctant woman to figure out his past, it's suddenly a romance film instead of action. While not all movies and stories have romance, most do, even if just a little bit. The guy gets the girl after saving the world. This isn't just for the female audiences, it's for the men as well.


Most like romance, just to a different degree, and in different ways. Some prefer it more subtle, just a few glances, and a simple kiss, amongst all the action/mystery/adventure, while others like it to be more predominant and take over the plot.
 
The same could be said for school RPs. If you go on the Fantasy section, you'll notice that a ton of RPs are schools/academies for the magical/special/supernatural/whatever. The main reason I don't like them is that some of us are still in school or college in real life, so why would you roleplay what you're doing in real life, albeit with fantasy elements?
 
Everyone has already stated how I also see the romance side of rp.


Although a ton of irritation is removed, when it's been made clear what type of Rp they are looking for. To each their own. Some love romance, others love storyline and some love violence. But at the end of the day we all love Rp and thats what it's about. <3
 

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