Advice/Help How To Deal With On And Off Roleplays?

[CookieGalaxy]

Long story short, I have a partner, she gets busy, I try finding another partner, get no one, tries getting help, doesn't get help, try to get a life, doesn't work out, and now she's extremely busy with life. How do I deal with on and off Roleplays while I try to get a life? I have to let her live her life while I'm trying to get my own life?

 

[Murdergurl]

What do you mean by "get a life"? Do you mean finding offline activities? It's good to have other hobbies to indulge in when the roleplay pool is dry.
If your partner is constantly off and you are adamant about RPing with them, you don't necessarilly have to have an RP that is regularly paced. It can be one that gets a reply a week from either of you (or whatever the pace is). It's kinda slow, but something you mutually contribute to when you can.
Otherwise, if you don't like the post rate you have with that partner, it's a simple matter of looking for another that is more your speed. When you make reqs, make sure to outline your availability, and what kind of availability you wish your partners to have.

 

[kibou]

All you can do in an off-and-on rp is learn to be patient and wait for replies to happen, which is certainly a lot easier if you have outside hobbies, or end it if it's stressing you too much and focus your energies elsewhere. Finding a good rp partner is a struggle for a lot of 1x1 rpers it seems so it's not a unique issue. You just have to keep looking, reading others search threads and making your own, and eventually you'll find someone. Alternatively, try out group rps! By nature of having more members, there will be replies a lot more often to read and respond to.

As for other things to do in the meantime why not look up some solo writing or character development exercises for something related to rping? Beyond that finding hobbies is just trying things out that sound like they're cool or might be fun, so that's too personal to you to give more advice on than that without more info. Recently I got a skateboard because 8 year old me thought skaters were the coolest things in the world and I'm having fun. Maybe ask for tv show, book, or game recommendations for genres you like in a different thread. Those are easy time sinks.

 

[Zelena]

Long story short, I have a partner, she gets busy, I try finding another partner, get no one, tries getting help, doesn't get help, try to get a life, doesn't work out, and now she's extremely busy with life. How do I deal with on and off Roleplays while I try to get a life? I have to let her live her life while I'm trying to get my own life?

I have my community, when I am waiting, when not doing art, or updating lore. I seek others outside. It is why I am here, to find some RP not in my circle to keep me busy. Been a struggle so far, but it only takes one. So, broaden your horizons. See what is out there in the RP world, or, pick up a hobby. I recommend knitting.

 

[nerdy tangents]

Yeah I have a few partners who are currently busy as well so here are some tips :

1. Be sure to check in still to make sure your partner is doing okay. It’s always nice to know your partner is thinking of you, especially if you are sick of going through a tough time IRL

2. I like to flesh out worlds while I wait. One of my current partners is sick so I have been mostly fleshing out the world of our roleplay in bits and pieces while she rests up

3. I also have other hobbies as well outside of roleplaying. Some good free hobbies (as long as you have internet access) are podcasts. You can find podcasts related to just about any topic you can think of and listening to them is a fun way to pass the time. It’s also a nice way to get into new fandoms even if you don’t have access to streaming services or cable.

4. If memory serves you also liked YouTube channels right? That’s also a great way to pass the time. You can follow reactors, gamers, funny animal videos, etc.

 

[CookieGalaxy]

Yeah I have a few partners who are currently busy as well so here are some tips :

1. Be sure to check in still to make sure your partner is doing okay. It’s always nice to know your partner is thinking of you, especially if you are sick of going through a tough time IRL

2. I like to flesh out worlds while I wait. One of my current partners is sick so I have been mostly fleshing out the world of our roleplay in bits and pieces while she rests up

3. I also have other hobbies as well outside of roleplaying. Some good free hobbies (as long as you have internet access) are podcasts. You can find podcasts related to just about any topic you can think of and listening to them is a fun way to pass the time. It’s also a nice way to get into new fandoms even if you don’t have access to streaming services or cable.

4. If memory serves you also liked YouTube channels right? That’s also a great way to pass the time. You can follow reactors, gamers, funny animal videos, etc.

That's good advice but I need to strain away from the fanstay world and go to reality to fix health issues.

 

[CookieGalaxy]

All you can do in an off-and-on rp is learn to be patient and wait for replies to happen, which is certainly a lot easier if you have outside hobbies, or end it if it's stressing you too much and focus your energies elsewhere. Finding a good rp partner is a struggle for a lot of 1x1 rpers it seems so it's not a unique issue. You just have to keep looking, reading others search threads and making your own, and eventually you'll find someone. Alternatively, try out group rps! By nature of having more members, there will be replies a lot more often to read and respond to.

As for other things to do in the meantime why not look up some solo writing or character development exercises for something related to rping? Beyond that finding hobbies is just trying things out that sound like they're cool or might be fun, so that's too personal to you to give more advice on than that without more info. Recently I got a skateboard because 8 year old me thought skaters were the coolest things in the world and I'm having fun. Maybe ask for tv show, book, or game recommendations for genres you like in a different thread. Those are easy time sinks.

Group chats? Those don't seem to go well since I can't trust anyone anymore. I already have issues with over 18 rules. But if I want to roleplay, I need to join a group.

 

[nerdy tangents]

That's good advice but I need to strain away from the fanstay world and go to reality to fix health issues.

Okay so if you are having a health crisis that is something you need to discuss with a trained professional of some sort not random strangers on the internet. I can offer you tips for finding resources in your local area (I had training for that in my previous job) but I want make very clear you should not seek advice on that from people online.

 

[CookieGalaxy]

Okay so if you are having a health crisis that is something you need to discuss with a trained professional of some sort not random strangers on the internet. I can offer you tips for finding resources in your local area (I had training for that in my previous job) but I want make very clear you should not seek advice on that from people online.

I try not too. And I'm asking for that. I'm asking for help with roleplaying.

 

[nerdy tangents]

Okay I think part of the issue is you aren’t being clear exactly on what you want. You keep contradicting yourself or just giving vague complaints without really explaining what you want people to help you with.

So I think part of it is you need to learn to communicate a bit better what your needs are and how other people can help with them.

As people online can’t help you with real life issues. Especially if we don’t know what those IRL issues are in the first place.

As for role playing other people have given you plenty of good advice on that already.

 

[CookieGalaxy]

Okay I think part of the issue is you aren’t being clear exactly on what you want. You keep contradicting yourself or just giving vague complaints without really explaining what you want people to help you with.

So I think part of it is you need to learn to communicate a bit better what your needs are and how other people can help with them.

As people online can’t help you with real life issues. Especially if we don’t know what those IRL issues are in the first place.

As for role playing other people have given you plenty of good advice on that already.

That makes sense. But I'm trying to ask for help with roleplay not irl issues.

 

[Murdergurl]

That makes sense. But I'm trying to ask for help with roleplay not irl issues.

Other people (including myself) have offered up some advice for your roleplaying issues in the above comments. Also, as kibou had also suggested, there are also Group RPs. More people means more opportunity.

 

[Zelena]

Group chats? Those don't seem to go well since I can't trust anyone anymore. I already have issues with over 18 rules. But if I want to roleplay, I need to join a group.

In my experience, the best Roleplays are in a group. However, they are at higher risk. One bad egg can derail the whole thing. 1v1 are great, love them, but I don't see the same fruit for my time. Of course, all RP is vapid, if the story is just one thread. After all, in the end, what was it for? Unless, of course, both are using ti to develop an existing character and not one created and dumped on the spot. Though, that is my opinion.

 

[Murdergurl]

I honestly don't see the difference in exposing yourself a bunch of strangers in 1x1, one at a time, versus a bunch of strangers at once. It's the same potential exposure to the same feasible outcome of personalities. In my experience, the reason groups have issues is almost never because of personality clash. It's usually poor organization on the part of the GM or the lag of involvement by the players. But in terms of "getting along", groups to me actually seem safer because people are less likely to act like asshats in front of a group. Versus one-on-one, they tend to be creeps more often. js

 

[Zelena]

I honestly don't see the difference in exposing yourself a bunch of strangers in 1x1, one at a time, versus a bunch of strangers at once. It's the same potential exposure to the same feasible outcome of personalities. In my experience, the reason groups have issues is almost never because of personality clash. It's usually poor organization on the part of the GM or the lag of involvement by the players. But in terms of "getting along", groups to me actually seem safer because people are less likely to act like asshats in front of a group. Versus one-on-one, they tend to be creeps more often. js

So, I am going to state this once and leave it be. Acting one on one will yield lesser results. As you lack the multiple dimensions presented in a group. Your development and interactions simply change due to more dynamics to bounce off of and play with. With that being said, I will leave it be because it isn't worth going much deeper with it.

 

[Murdergurl]

So, I am going to state this once and leave it be. Acting one on one will yield lesser results. As you lack the multiple dimensions presented in a group. Your development and interactions simply change due to more dynamics to bounce off of and play with. With that being said, I will leave it be because it isn't worth going much deeper with it.

I actually agree with this 100%. All I was talking about was the "trust" issue stated by the OP

 

[kibou]

Group chats? Those don't seem to go well since I can't trust anyone anymore. I already have issues with over 18 rules. But if I want to roleplay, I need to join a group.

I'd say group roleplays are a little different than group chats. Also they usually don't have age rules due to being groups with a mix of players, and usually are not as romance focused and have other kinds of plots! Though romance with another pc is still an option. Honestly all you need for group roleplays is to trust people to roleplay well, you don't need to get personal with them.

 

[Faulty Daemon]

In a situation like that the best way to deal with it is literally just to deal with it. There is a level of understanding that is required, and that is to understand that a private life goes above someone's online life. It is not a personal attack or anything like that, but simple two lives not scheduled the same way.

How I dealt with it when I was still an rp-baby, was simply staying in contact with my partner. I'd ask them how their day is going, and if they're well. You can see it as befriending someone, and not nagging at them to reply to the rp.

If you truly cannot wait for them to respond to you, then yes, you should be trying to find something else in the meantime. However, you've got to let your partner know if you're going to drop the rp. (Though honestly, this is a personal preference. It would be as polite to let your partner know if you're no longer interested.) If you have no intentions of dropping it, then... well, just leave it open for your partner to get back to you when they get the time to.

It's all just a matter of learning to be patient. If you've got ideas for the rp, just note them down and get back to them at a later time.

 

[CookieGalaxy]

In a situation like that the best way to deal with it is literally just to deal with it. There is a level of understanding that is required, and that is to understand that a private life goes above someone's online life. It is not a personal attack or anything like that, but simple two lives not scheduled the same way.

How I dealt with it when I was still an rp-baby, was simply staying in contact with my partner. I'd ask them how their day is going, and if they're well. You can see it as befriending someone, and not nagging at them to reply to the rp.

If you truly cannot wait for them to respond to you, then yes, you should be trying to find something else in the meantime. However, you've got to let your partner know if you're going to drop the rp. (Though honestly, this is a personal preference. It would be as polite to let your partner know if you're no longer interested.) If you have no intentions of dropping it, then... well, just leave it open for your partner to get back to you when they get the time to.

It's all just a matter of learning to be patient. If you've got ideas for the rp, just note them down and get back to them at a later time.

That's pretty solid advice. And I already fix it. Don't roleplay until they reply. They'll reply and not leave you hanging for years. And I've gotten myself a relationship with issues outside of it to keep myself busy because I can't find any friends.