How Screwed are You?

[DemetrioMachete]

The last enemy from the last game you played is hunting you down for unknown reasons.


You must defend yourself with the last weapon you wielded in a game.


Who is after you and how screwed are you? I'll start.


Who is after me.

Fuck.


What I am armed with.

 There really is no winning here.

 

[Esper Alucard]

Dante

Red Queen/Blue Rose

Maybe if i knew how to use a sword, then i would have a chance. I MIGHT last with Blue Rose, but i cant charge shot, because i dont have Nero's Devil bringer, so im screwed

 

[ThatOneGuy]

Who is after me?


An Iron Giant

What do I have?


The Masamune

Considering that the giant is five times my size and thousands of times heavier, I'd say I'm pretty screwed.

 

[Phadia]

Who is after me?


The Khezu

What do I have?


The Stealth Glaive

Yep. I'm dead. Unless I'm allowed to run away? Which I assume I'm not. XD


I have no clue how to fight IRL, much less how to fight a giant dragon monster who can electrify its prey. Plus, I'd probably freeze to death because of the location in which you fight it. 

 

[Dr.Nekoshu]

Who is after me?


That super weird and creepy multi-handed monster lady from Evil Within.

What I am armed with?


The Dead Space 1 Plasma Cutter.

Seeing as it's a point and fire weapon with laser-sights for each shot it fires, and it's perfect for dismembering necromorphs...


I'm completely screwed over as it would simply make me run for my life and I wouldn't be able to look at it and fire.


So I'm screwed beyond all belief...

 

[Lord Pug]

Uuuuh?? In the last game I played, there is no enemy and there are no weapons.

 

[ThatOneGuy]

Uuuuh?? In the last game I played, there is no enemy and there are no weapons.

The environment is your enemy, and your mind is your weapon. 

 

[TPBx]

Genji Shimada

Keyboard:

 

[Doctor Nope]

The pursuer boss fight from dark souls II





I am armed with a longsword





I'm actually decent with two-handed weapons in real life, so I may have a chance. Especially since at this point I know the enemy's exact attack pattern.

 

[Axel The Englishman]

The pursuer boss fight from dark souls II





I am armed with a longsword





I'm actually decent with two-handed weapons in real life, so I may have a chance. Especially since at this point I know the enemy's exact attack pattern.

Do you absorb souls?

 

[Doctor Nope]

Do you absorb souls?

I'm simply being chased by this enemy, so I don't think in-game mechanics apply.

 

[KuroNoKami39]

Eve, otherwise known as God/Mother qualia, from Stella Glow

the body of my singing water element waifu, Lisette, (counts because singing in this game IS AN ACTUAL WEAPON)

i know i'm stupid but, i have my waifu, i think i'll win!


wait... did the aforementioned say i'm going against...god...?


...and i don't have the song stone needed to use her singing powers...


and she runs out of mana so fast...


i-i think...


i think i'm screwed everyone... 

 

[ewolf20]

go on lane, get ganked instantly 

 

[MTMM]

This guy.

 


Weapon:

 


I think I'm okay.

 

[Count Gensokyo]

The last enemy I fought...?


Crap.

Mishaguji
​

God of Curses
​

(From Touhou: Scarlet Curiosity)
​

And let's see...what am I armed with?


An A280 Blaster Rifle,

​

 
​

A Jump Pack,

​

 
​

A Pulse Cannon,

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And a way to make the shots in the blaster rifle explosive. Maybe I'm not so screwed after all? 


Despite the high-tech weaponry, I don't think it's going to substantially damage Mishaguji since it's resistant to physical attacks. In that case, the only way I can get out alive is if I make some lucky jumps with the jump pack, and that's assuming I know how to use the equipment I have on me.


tl;dr I'm screwed unless I can get away with the jump pack and find a good place to hide.

 

[Archon]

Are you freaking kidding me?!


The Fucking Bowl-Dude and Super Saiyan Scythe Girl


VERSUS!


A weapon I can't even bloody lift, wow my Screwed Meter is waaaay over "9000!!"





Welp, bai gais. Nice knowing you, Archon out.


*Gets Crushed by Aforementioned Bowl and diced up by aforementioned Scythe*

 

[Hawkmoon]

I... I killed Vendrick earlier. I have a +10 Heide Spear, a shield and enough magic to level a building. No Giant Souls though, and no iframes.


I could climb his back.