WolfSol
Brain cashew smooth
I need to get some things off my chest as I do not want to burden the people around me who are already trying their best to support and comfort my family and I. I will continue my RP hiatus. This is merely me just trying to... I don't know... just let some of it out.
Hey mom,
I always had this unrealistic idea that you would live forever, and I also thought that I would never cry so much. Honestly, it all still feels surreal. I'll have a moment where I think, "Oh, I should call mom and--oh.... oh... I can't," and then it all comes crashing back. It feels childish in a way. You're at peace after all, but even though we had a feeling this storm wouldn't pass well... I'd hoped it would stay for just a bit longer.
It felt like the blink of an eye and then we were deciding the day we would celebrate your life. I was told to tell you everything that was in my heart before you left, but all I could think was to try and not cry while holding your hand. To let you know that I love you, to let you know how thankful I am for everything you've done for me, for our family, and to tell you that it's okay, you don't need to wait... pass on, be at peace. All the while I can tell that your hand isn't a hand I remember, and I don't even know if your grunts mean you hear me. Even now I feel that that is all I could've said, but every time I remember it I can't hold back the tears.
I miss you terribly, and I can only imagine the pain that dad feels.
We're all so happy that you're at peace. I know you were in a lot of pain so I wouldn't wish anything differently.
But I miss you terribly. I miss our secret little handshake that we made in hopes to make everyone laugh, I miss being able to call you, I miss hearing about your school kids and lesson plans, I miss hearing your excitement about your new class and its curriculum, I miss hearing updates about the family from you, I miss your laugh when I greet you with that funny voice that you somehow always find funny, I miss you sharing the happenings of Tiktok our the latest news articles, and I miss the fact that we could not stress it enough for you to be selfish and stop worrying about inconveniencing us while you're the one in the hospital, battling a storm.
I miss you.
Hey mom,
I always had this unrealistic idea that you would live forever, and I also thought that I would never cry so much. Honestly, it all still feels surreal. I'll have a moment where I think, "Oh, I should call mom and--oh.... oh... I can't," and then it all comes crashing back. It feels childish in a way. You're at peace after all, but even though we had a feeling this storm wouldn't pass well... I'd hoped it would stay for just a bit longer.
It felt like the blink of an eye and then we were deciding the day we would celebrate your life. I was told to tell you everything that was in my heart before you left, but all I could think was to try and not cry while holding your hand. To let you know that I love you, to let you know how thankful I am for everything you've done for me, for our family, and to tell you that it's okay, you don't need to wait... pass on, be at peace. All the while I can tell that your hand isn't a hand I remember, and I don't even know if your grunts mean you hear me. Even now I feel that that is all I could've said, but every time I remember it I can't hold back the tears.
I miss you terribly, and I can only imagine the pain that dad feels.
We're all so happy that you're at peace. I know you were in a lot of pain so I wouldn't wish anything differently.
But I miss you terribly. I miss our secret little handshake that we made in hopes to make everyone laugh, I miss being able to call you, I miss hearing about your school kids and lesson plans, I miss hearing your excitement about your new class and its curriculum, I miss hearing updates about the family from you, I miss your laugh when I greet you with that funny voice that you somehow always find funny, I miss you sharing the happenings of Tiktok our the latest news articles, and I miss the fact that we could not stress it enough for you to be selfish and stop worrying about inconveniencing us while you're the one in the hospital, battling a storm.
I miss you.