Viewpoint Giving players benefit of the doubt

[monxmiracle]

So we all heard of those players. The players that people go around warning you about or the players you hear did so and so thing. But my question is when someone warns you about a specific player will you:

a.give them benefit of the doubt
b. judge them and paint them as a villain

For me personally, it would depend on what the person did to gain such a bad reputation. If it only happened once or was a one time thing and that the player hasn’t done wrong since than I would let them pass. But if there’s evidence that the player did numerous questionable things and still continue to do so. Then maybe I wouldn’t let them have any benefit of the doubt.

But in this situation what would you do? Do you listen to people that warn you about players or do you write them off? Sometimes, I feel these people that warn you can be wrong about some players as not every player stays the same. They change they grow, so their experiences with them prior may be different from the ones you had. So it’s really a hard question to answer imo.

 

[zippy]

I typically ignore it unless it’s a comment that the person tends to ghost RPs. I’ve been badmouthed before and had to hear about it second hand, really helps to open your eyes that there will always be more than one side to the story. Further sullying someone’s reputation isn’t really worth it.

 

[rae2nerdy]

So basically mine are all behavioral issues that can escalate into dangerous or just super stressful situations.

Ex. I have had people warn me / been warned about players that will send porn, try to inject smut into a story, or just in general act in a really skeevy manner.

I have also warned/been warned about people who are homophobic, misogynistic, racist, or otherwise inappropriate in a OOC setting.

So I guess if the thing your warning me about could have real world consequences (ie sending someone you don’t know porn, or just being hateful to a IRL group of people) then I welcome the warning and absolutely pass it along.

Oh also if the person has shown stalker or harassing tendencies in the past. I had one person show up in a thread that had a history of harassing and doxing female players. To the extent that the GM (who knew his current target) basically did th online equivalent of allowing her to isolate and told us all we weren’t to engage with him or tell him anything about his target.

 

[Melpomene]

I always like to give people the benefit of the doubt. I have had my bad days, and so have they. No one is perfect, everyone will mess up. I think it is detrimental to judge someone by their one mistake (of course depending on what that mistake was).

I have been badmouthed before and I know there are people out there badmouthing me still. So, I know that sometimes this "scorn" comes from someone being upset that their partner wouldn't take their shit anymore and finally stood up for themselves.

I, personally, don't badmouth anyone unless they were particularly egregious. Most of the time I won't even talk about another RPer in a negative light, at least not with someone who isn't my friend. My philosophy is that unless that person is genuinely toxic, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

I have certainly learned to give people the benefit of the doubt, I have had people bad mouth past partners and then, later, when I got with those partners they ended up being nicer to me than the former was.

So, generally speaking, unless this person is obviously egregiously toxic, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. Because God knows I hate when people assume that I'm the villain in a story where I was in pain.

 

[rae2nerdy]

I guess in my case the only time people have ever really warned me about people have been in the egregious sense. Like “Hey heads up this guy likes to send you furry porn unsolicited.” Or “Oh keep an eye out for this person she likes to insert her humiliation fetish into roleplays unsolicited” or “Avoid this asshole like the plague he’s homophobic and sexist. Also a minor that lies about his age to try to get you in trouble.”

I don’t think anyone has ever been like “Ugh you won’t believe what Karen did. She is such an obnoxious know it all I wouldn’t bother roleplaying with her.” Or “I heard Susan is a controlling bitch so I wouldn’t answer any of her threads.”

Certainly I might vent about partners but I never name names.

Ex. “Thanks so much for helping me brainstorm, my last partner just gave me one word answer to everything and it was so frustrating.”

 

[FoolsErin]

I was initially going to tell the whole story of my ”friend” Train (not his actual name), and how I was friends with him until recently despite having an absolutely atrocious reputation and a lot of people who disliked him. Then I realized I have probably told that story enough times and I really didn’t want to type it all out. So instead, I guess my opinions about this will have to suffice.

I believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt and the doubt of the benefit. I’ve seen supposedly terrible people/writers with a lot of heart and supposedly fantastic people who are full of themselves and make people choose between friends. Opinions, sometimes especially of people are subjective and I don’t see any benefit in following them.

 

[welian]

I give players SOME benefit of doubt when it comes to behaviors I haven't personally witnessed. But generally speaking, I just wait until someone makes a miss-step in my own thread. Then I toss them out and put them on my personal blacklist.

 

[rae2nerdy]

I give players SOME benefit of doubt when it comes to behaviors I haven't personally witnessed. But generally speaking, I just wait until someone makes a miss-step in my own thread. Then I toss them out and put them on my personal blacklist.

Oh slight tangent but how did you view the white/black/grey list trend on Gaia? As that seems to be what the OP is talking about but it only kicked off after I had gone to 1x1s on the site. And you can’t really do those kinds of things with 1x1.

 

[welian]

how did you view the white/black/grey list trend on Gaia?

Oh.

My god.

I thought it was SOOOO tacky to have them posted on the front page of the RP! There's nothing wrong with having a white/gray/blacklist - I have a private one in my GDrive - but you can't just have it like "rae is blacklisted for godmodding" right there in the third post. Jesus fucking Christ, what if that's a lie? What if I just hated your guts and wanted to shit on your reputation? What if you misread the RP rules and everyone dunked on you before you had the chance to fix the post because you were at work all day?

And then like, even if it's true, even if it really did happen, what do you GAIN from it? Does "rae is a godmodder and banned from this rp" really contribute to the community? No one else other than the GM would have the authority to let you in the RP. Am I ACTUALLY making the community a better place with a footnote on how bad of an RPer I think you are? Or am I just telling prospective players "Wow, this bitch welian will hang me out to dry if I don't kiss her ass. I better find a different thread."

 

[rae2nerdy]

Oh.

My god.

I thought it was SOOOO tacky to have them posted on the front page of the RP! There's nothing wrong with having a white/gray/blacklist - I have a private one in my GDrive - but you can't just have it like "rae is blacklisted for godmodding" right there in the third post. Jesus fucking Christ, what if that's a lie? What if I just hated your guts and wanted to shit on your reputation? What if you misread the RP rules and everyone dunked on you before you had the chance to fix the post because you were at work all day?

And then like, even if it's true, even if it really did happen, what do you GAIN from it? Does "rae is a godmodder and banned from this rp" really contribute to the community? No one else other than the GM would have the authority to let you in the RP. Am I ACTUALLY making the community a better place with a footnote on how bad of an RPer I think you are? Or am I just telling prospective players "Wow, this bitch welian will hang me out to dry if I don't kiss her ass. I better find a different thread."

Yeah I mean I can at least see the point of a white list. Sort of a “hey guys this is the MVP of the thread let’s give them some love.”

It’s especially weird cuz it’s just names anyway. So like you can kinda make the connection based on context what white and black are supposed to mean. But I could never figure out grey.

I had this happen in the BBC shop section. So there was a dog show themed shop. One of its players thought the new art lines were too cartoony so they made a separate dog show shop with more realistic lines. (Other than both being about dog shows and thus selling dog breedables they weren’t even all that similar).

but Shop 1 people apparently got hella pissy and would put in their thread - Shop 1 the “real/original” dog shop.

Plus the folks in Shop 1 could get a bit toxic, but that wasn’t as bad as the sheer snobbery around art and their format. Like for fudge sake it’s a fake shop with fake dogs.

I don’t know why but they ended up putting one of the Shop 2 people on the blacklist.

I’m assuming for being shitty about their art but I had left the server. I only remember when I rejoined Shop 1 cuz they had miniature poodles and I wanted an army of fake poodles (plus shop 2 had died when the owner got busy IFL)

 

[Franklin]

Random skimming. LOVE the idea of a white list. As in people who are pretty awesome to role play with? Yes? I am carrying this into future roleplays.

 

[rae2nerdy]

Random skimming. LOVE the idea of a white list. As in people who are pretty awesome to role play with? Yes? I am carrying this into future roleplays.

Oh yeah I will brag on the awesome people I know to others and play matchmaker all the time. Like sorry this isn’t my cup of tea but I know this awesome person who might like it. Let me ask.

Or if I see they replies to the same search. Oh FYI this person is amaze balls and a fantastic partner.

 

[Tove]

The benefit of the doubt. My experience with said player might be different than someone else's. A bit of a warning isn't necessarily bad but if the person is going out of their way to consistently trash the other player I would start to question that person.