Lord Sia
Herder of Cats
With Moon gone, so too was Cloud's distraction, and he found himself thinking. It was an old habit of his, and not a happy one either, born as it was of loneliness and silence. Without the source of light and love that was his Moon, he found his mind clouded once more, old fears and hurts twisting and changing, like snakes shedding their skins, all the better to turn his new-found happiness against him.
How could she love him? She, who was so beautiful and special and wonderful, while he was a lumpy, smoking mess of a lizard? Was it really love, or was it pity for the poor freak? Or perhaps she was just using him, like a human hitching a big, stupid ox to draw her heavy carriage? Would she turn on him, abandon him, drive him away like the others had?
Cloud clenched his eyes shut and braced as he felt old hurts rise to the surface, wounds deeper than flesh and sharper than teeth. He could imagine it, all too vividly; Moon taunting him about his tainted breath, stealing his food in a show of dominance, turning her back on him and flying away...
... But rather than twisting the claw in his heart, the images caused him to snort in unexpected mirth.
Moon, taunt him about his breath? That seemed about as likely as the actual moon coming down to mock him in person.
Moon, stealing his food? She was the one who had submitted to him; in fact, it seemed more likely that he would have to force her to eat her share, especially now that she'd be eating for two - or more.
Moon, turning her back on him and flying away? That, he could actually see, but between the come-hither glances and teasing wiggle of her tail she didn't seem to be trying very hard to actually leave him behind, and even less upset when he caught up to her and pulled her into a brief wrestle before pinning her to the soft grass on the riverbank and-
Cloud felt himself relax, tension he hadn't even noticed he was carrying easing out of his body as he slumped to the forest floor, a light smile tugging at his face as he released the breath he had been holding, inky black smog flowing across the forest floor like a flood of darkness. For the first time since... He couldn't even remember when... He did not feel the sickly fire of shame, burning in his blood.
If he hadn't been looking for her, he wouldn't have noticed the faint glimmer of Moon approaching, as silently as her namesake. But the faint glitter of her scales under the starlight was enough to stoke the new fires burning in his blood, hotter and purer than any he had felt before.
If his breath flowed a little thicker, hotter and heavier than before? She wouldn't care. And so, neither did he.
How could she love him? She, who was so beautiful and special and wonderful, while he was a lumpy, smoking mess of a lizard? Was it really love, or was it pity for the poor freak? Or perhaps she was just using him, like a human hitching a big, stupid ox to draw her heavy carriage? Would she turn on him, abandon him, drive him away like the others had?
Cloud clenched his eyes shut and braced as he felt old hurts rise to the surface, wounds deeper than flesh and sharper than teeth. He could imagine it, all too vividly; Moon taunting him about his tainted breath, stealing his food in a show of dominance, turning her back on him and flying away...
... But rather than twisting the claw in his heart, the images caused him to snort in unexpected mirth.
Moon, taunt him about his breath? That seemed about as likely as the actual moon coming down to mock him in person.
Moon, stealing his food? She was the one who had submitted to him; in fact, it seemed more likely that he would have to force her to eat her share, especially now that she'd be eating for two - or more.
Moon, turning her back on him and flying away? That, he could actually see, but between the come-hither glances and teasing wiggle of her tail she didn't seem to be trying very hard to actually leave him behind, and even less upset when he caught up to her and pulled her into a brief wrestle before pinning her to the soft grass on the riverbank and-
Cloud felt himself relax, tension he hadn't even noticed he was carrying easing out of his body as he slumped to the forest floor, a light smile tugging at his face as he released the breath he had been holding, inky black smog flowing across the forest floor like a flood of darkness. For the first time since... He couldn't even remember when... He did not feel the sickly fire of shame, burning in his blood.
If he hadn't been looking for her, he wouldn't have noticed the faint glimmer of Moon approaching, as silently as her namesake. But the faint glitter of her scales under the starlight was enough to stoke the new fires burning in his blood, hotter and purer than any he had felt before.
If his breath flowed a little thicker, hotter and heavier than before? She wouldn't care. And so, neither did he.