kibou
ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ̀ˋ
You sneeze, but there's no Kleenex around, or any suitable substitute?
Hello all.
This is a real and ongoing problem, so, I decided to list alternatives to getting rid of that pester-some, gross, sloppy snot without using your precious articles of clothing to wipe the problem away.
Feel free to contribute ideas to this list!
1. If you're outside, a perfect alternative is....
Yup, you heard me! The grass!
These cool-headed plants won't mind if you just bend over on your hands and knees and rub your slimy face in them in order to get rid of said slime. Since grass is so abundant, you're bound to find some eventually.
It's also soft and easily bend-able, making it the best second choice.
But if grass sinks your boat, luckily there's other things you could do instead! Such as
2. Ask a friend if you could transfer your snot to them.
Friends are amazing! They're there when you need a shoulder to cry on, you have tons of inside jokes (@Pine just goes bananas when you pour the milk in the bowl first), they'll protect you from bears, and have deep conversations with them that no one else could possibly understand! You're real with your friends, can tell them things you wouldn't anyone else, and help each other out.
And when you're as close as two knuckles in a hand-holding situation, there's nothing to stop you from asking, "Hey, friend! I gotta lotta snot, would you mind if you took some?"
The worst that could happen is they say, "Sorry I gotta enough of my own," and the best thing that can happen is they say "Sure pal! Just get on over here and I'll snort up that snot for ya!"
But if you're completely alone in this world and have no pal to swap snot with, there's still hope for you yet.
3. Breathe out really hard.
But while you're bending over, of course.
Yup, it's as simple as that!
If you just exhale out your nose with great force (whilst bent), that snot may go flying off your face and into the abyss! It may not be as reliable as the previous two suggestions but hey, it's worth a try isn't it?
And if blowing out your snot just is a bad cup of tea, I have yet to run out of solutions.
4. Remove your face.
This entire problem was caused by the fact that your snot is drippin' out your face. A quick solution that you'll only ever have to do once in your lifetime is just remove the source of the problem: Your face!
Once it's gone, you'll no longer have to worry about your mucusful nasal cavity. It just won't be there anymore! Peel your face off and the snot trouble will be gone forever. If you're lucky you might even start the newest, latest, and greatest fashion trend!
But if you can't afford that type of surgery or (if you just do it yourself) the recovery costs, don't worry bro. We gotcha.
5. Ask a cat
Last but not least, find your friendly neighborhood cat and gently ask them for a cleaning! Cats don't see us as a different species, but as massive, lumbering, completely ungraceful cats. This means that they're willing to give you a tongue-bath.
Approach your chosen cat and kneel down, then present your nose to them. Meow softly, and look soulfully into their eyes. They'll see your sad appearance and shake their head, then take pity on you and help you look presentable.
In no time, your fantastic cat will get rid of your viscous scum like a teeny, furry mom.
That's it!
Now you're clean as can be!
As always, feel free to comment you snot-riding solutions! God knows we need them.
Hello all.
This is a real and ongoing problem, so, I decided to list alternatives to getting rid of that pester-some, gross, sloppy snot without using your precious articles of clothing to wipe the problem away.
Feel free to contribute ideas to this list!
1. If you're outside, a perfect alternative is....
Yup, you heard me! The grass!
These cool-headed plants won't mind if you just bend over on your hands and knees and rub your slimy face in them in order to get rid of said slime. Since grass is so abundant, you're bound to find some eventually.
It's also soft and easily bend-able, making it the best second choice.
But if grass sinks your boat, luckily there's other things you could do instead! Such as
2. Ask a friend if you could transfer your snot to them.
Friends are amazing! They're there when you need a shoulder to cry on, you have tons of inside jokes (@Pine just goes bananas when you pour the milk in the bowl first), they'll protect you from bears, and have deep conversations with them that no one else could possibly understand! You're real with your friends, can tell them things you wouldn't anyone else, and help each other out.
And when you're as close as two knuckles in a hand-holding situation, there's nothing to stop you from asking, "Hey, friend! I gotta lotta snot, would you mind if you took some?"
The worst that could happen is they say, "Sorry I gotta enough of my own," and the best thing that can happen is they say "Sure pal! Just get on over here and I'll snort up that snot for ya!"
But if you're completely alone in this world and have no pal to swap snot with, there's still hope for you yet.
3. Breathe out really hard.
But while you're bending over, of course.
Yup, it's as simple as that!
If you just exhale out your nose with great force (whilst bent), that snot may go flying off your face and into the abyss! It may not be as reliable as the previous two suggestions but hey, it's worth a try isn't it?
And if blowing out your snot just is a bad cup of tea, I have yet to run out of solutions.
4. Remove your face.
This entire problem was caused by the fact that your snot is drippin' out your face. A quick solution that you'll only ever have to do once in your lifetime is just remove the source of the problem: Your face!
Once it's gone, you'll no longer have to worry about your mucusful nasal cavity. It just won't be there anymore! Peel your face off and the snot trouble will be gone forever. If you're lucky you might even start the newest, latest, and greatest fashion trend!
But if you can't afford that type of surgery or (if you just do it yourself) the recovery costs, don't worry bro. We gotcha.
5. Ask a cat
Last but not least, find your friendly neighborhood cat and gently ask them for a cleaning! Cats don't see us as a different species, but as massive, lumbering, completely ungraceful cats. This means that they're willing to give you a tongue-bath.
Approach your chosen cat and kneel down, then present your nose to them. Meow softly, and look soulfully into their eyes. They'll see your sad appearance and shake their head, then take pity on you and help you look presentable.
In no time, your fantastic cat will get rid of your viscous scum like a teeny, furry mom.
That's it!
Now you're clean as can be!
As always, feel free to comment you snot-riding solutions! God knows we need them.
Last edited by a moderator:
