Character sheet layout/ Irene Turner

[SurrealEthereal]

This is a link so I hope most of you will be able to access it, If not let me know so that I can fix it please!


Character Sheet

 

[PhoenixMire]

I’m not sure if you want character feedback, bit I’ve got a few suggestions if you’d like?

She sounds like a Mary Sue. She’s good at way too much and doesn’t have enough weaknesses or things she’s bad at. Lines like “Can play piano without ever learning how” and “Sings, beautifully like a sien it tends to lure men. Can cook like a born chef, and she is also artistically inclined” well, it’s just a bit much, maybe? It might be a good idea to take away some of those talents, and make her other talents more reasonable - like, say, maybe she practiced the piano and singing for long hours since her childhood, so she’s really good at both those things. And I think it would be a good idea to give her a lot more weaknesses and things she’s bad at. Humans are interesting because they’re so imperfect.

Also, her positive and negative personality traits seem really conflicting. If she’s so kind, compassionate, respectful, and honest, then how is she manipulative at the same time? That comes across as a bit contradictory to me, idk?

If you weren’t looking for any feedback at all, then ignore everything I said, lol. Best of luck with RPing ^^

 

[SurrealEthereal]

I’m not sure if you want character feedback, bit I’ve got a few suggestions if you’d like?

She sounds like a Mary Sue. She’s good at way too much and doesn’t have enough weaknesses or things she’s bad at. Lines like “Can play piano without ever learning how” and “Sings, beautifully like a sien it tends to lure men. Can cook like a born chef, and she is also artistically inclined” well, it’s just a bit much, maybe? It might be a good idea to take away some of those talents, and make her other talents more reasonable - like, say, maybe she practiced the piano and singing for long hours since her childhood, so she’s really good at both those things. And I think it would be a good idea to give her a lot more weaknesses and things she’s bad at. Humans are interesting because they’re so imperfect.

Also, her positive and negative personality traits seem really conflicting. If she’s so kind, compassionate, respectful, and honest, then how is she manipulative at the same time? That comes across as a bit contradictory to me, idk?

If you weren’t looking for any feedback at all, then ignore everything I said, lol. Best of luck with RPing ^^

No this is perfect! Just the kind of constructive criticism I needed thank you! Maybe manipulative was the wrong choice of words, I meant more or less that she was persuasive to others of giving her whats she wants, for an example: Kind of like when I spoiled kid ask there parents for something with "pretty please with a cherry on top?" Anyways I appreciate the reply!