Other Anybody have Anxiety Issues?

[Aqua7KH]

Howdy guys, despite being apart of this lovely website since March, I have no experience on this website past the actual roleplay forms. I never posted anything about myself here and although I'm weary to I just wanted to discuss some real life issues and whatnot and see what other people think or if anyone has similar feelings. 


I hope I'm not breaking the rules, as I've read the rules for this forums but I just find it a bit vague for my particular thread. If I'm breaking any rules feel free to delete this thread, I just didn't know of any other topic where I can discuss my personal feelings. 


I do admit I was and still am a bit afraid coming into this site. I come from a site where roleplaying is not the primary focus so as a result coming here feels a bit intimidating because you're absolutely surrounded by people of like minded insterests. It's like going from a community college of all subjects to an art school. Because of that you're also going from a community where you might be a professional writer to a place where you're just a little kid kindergarten compared to some other folks. xD  there's so much people here too my goodness!


Anyway, I'm straying from what I'd like to discuss.


I have a Generalized Anxiety Disorder and to put t blankly, it sucks. There's many things that causes me anxiety, things that honestly aren't a big deal at all and can be embarrassing. For example; there's a popular new show that just came out? If I see it everywhere I start getting anxiety over it and watching it, to the point where o force myself to indulge in it which makes it worse. This happens quite a lot and is happening right now actually. 


I also tend to speak very cryptic about certain topics. There's just some words I don't want to say because I don't like it- literally a Voldemort kind of deal.


Theres also regular kinds of things, I often have anxiety over little things such as if I forgot to get a friend a birthday present it'll bother me for a while, or senarios that are just ridiculous. It's really troubling to deal with, especially since for me it's a constant issue. I can't quite strategize and take medication one could. It's kinda unpredictable. 


Anyway, I don't want to get too into it especially since this is my first discussion thread on here, so I was wondering if anyone here experiences the same thing? Or just simple discussion on the matter. Thank you.

 

[Penryn]

You're not alone!



I struggle with depression, anxiety, and panic attacks. My first and last panic attack was in 2011 during my senior year of high school. It was such a weird feeling like everything around me was fake like a dream and all of my senses were heightened; I was also severely paranoid. When I had told my mom about it in the middle of the night, she believed me right off the bat since she told me that I had inherited from her. The following week, I went to see a psychiatrist and have been on very good medication ever since. Whenever I forget to take my pills, and still, I start feeling the effects of deja vu, out of body experience, and just weirdness all around. Then, the anxiety just pumps in and I'm overthinking absolutely everything.


Speaking of that, I'm a huge overthinker and a worry wart because of my anxiety. I tend to overthink the tiniest of things too and it will drive me absolutely nuts until I'm tired, only to revisit it later. These things are also stuff that shouldn't be a big deal either. Apart from that kind of anxiety, I also have social anxiety and most times I just wish I could wear sunglasses all of the time, at least when I'm out, because it's sometimes nerve-wracking to make eye contact with others; I feel like they can hear what I'm thinking or I feel so exposed.



I've had various points in my life that I've been very depressed too. The way it happens is sometimes sudden but before that I do get mood swings. I dwell on it but when it comes to daily routine or other activities, I will be so lethargic, I don't want to do anything. Most people don't feel like eating when they feel like this but I'm the opposite. I always go to my bed, curl up, and start crying like I'm mourning over a loved one, that heavy, until I can't breathe or my cries are barely even coming out. In the moments that lead up to it, I always feel lonely and misunderstood and when I finally break down, I feel absolutely and terribly alone.


I find that talking with others helps and also having professional help too because I wouldn't be anywhere without the medication that I'm taking; I'd be in a loony bin by now.


Some places where I talk to others that help me are 7 Cups and TheHopeLine; they're both very good and help out so much.

 

[Aqua7KH]

You're not alone!



I struggle with depression, anxiety, and panic attacks. My first and last panic attack was in 2011 during my senior year of high school. It was such a weird feeling like everything around me was fake like a dream and all of my senses were heightened; I was also severely paranoid. When I had told my mom about it in the middle of the night, she believed me right off the bat since she told me that I had inherited from her. The following week, I went to see a psychiatrist and have been on very good medication ever since. Whenever I forget to take my pills, and still, I start feeling the effects of deja vu, out of body experience, and just weirdness all around. Then, the anxiety just pumps in and I'm overthinking absolutely everything.


Speaking of that, I'm a huge overthinker and a worry wart because of my anxiety. I tend to overthink the tiniest of things too and it will drive me absolutely nuts until I'm tired, only to revisit it later. These things are also stuff that shouldn't be a big deal either. Apart from that kind of anxiety, I also have social anxiety and most times I just wish I could wear sunglasses all of the time, at least when I'm out, because it's sometimes nerve-wracking to make eye contact with others; I feel like they can hear what I'm thinking or I feel so exposed.



I've had various points in my life that I've been very depressed too. The way it happens is sometimes sudden but before that I do get mood swings. I dwell on it but when it comes to daily routine or other activities, I will be so lethargic, I don't want to do anything. Most people don't feel like eating when they feel like this but I'm the opposite. I always go to my bed, curl up, and start crying like I'm mourning over a loved one, that heavy, until I can't breathe or my cries are barely even coming out. In the moments that lead up to it, I always feel lonely and misunderstood and when I finally break down, I feel absolutely and terribly alone.


I find that talking with others helps and also having professional help too because I wouldn't be anywhere without the medication that I'm taking; I'd be in a loony bin by now.


Some places where I talk to others that help me are 7 Cups and TheHopeLine; they're both very good and help out so much.

It's nice and not nice to hear someone has similar experiences. xD  It always feels great when someone knows what you're going through, at the same time it sucks because I don't want people to know what it feels like.


I actually have depression as well. I'm on medication for that and I should be going on medication for anxiety in the future. The anxiety has always been a problem for me, I sorta started noticing it in 8th grade around six years ago even in a time of utter joy in my life so I'm pretty sure this was just something that's apart of me if that makes sense. I overthink absolutely everything and it gets me quite annoyed and paranoid. xD  The depression comes in a few years ago following the deaths of my Grandparents who raised me, although I've dealt with it pretty well. It's more so the normal fears of becoming an adult, especially since I'm trying to hard to discover myself.


A little over a year ago is when I had to take medication and go into intensive therapy. Long story short, I saw something very frightening and it put me in a severe state of depression and fear that I've never experienced prior. I suffered severe panic attacks along the lines you have, with everything feeling like a dream and whatnot as well as just the overall sense of fear and dread. I became unhealthily obsessed with what I saw and it got to the point where I just couldn't sleep at night and I was just an utter mess in my life. Don't worry though I'm fine now! xD  It was just a really bad experience. It's cool to see that you understand what I'm talking about.


Somewhat recently I've gone to numerous programs and had a evaluation done where it's believed I have some OCD, possible Aspergers and PTSD in addition to that. I don't like talking about that too much because yet again I over think as to why someone has something like that and it makes me uncomfortable because I freak out wondering what someone has gone through to cause that. 


Do you perhaps experience anxiety when it comes to writing and what not? I often get very paranoid an anxious over my writing and characters. I just fear that my characters suck or something. xD  I often stay away from the serious topics on the board, especially since certain ones stress me out. I also have a bad habit where someone gives me a suggestion where I take it as an order. For example, if I want to host a roleplay about say, the Catholic Church and you suggest me to research about it, I'll research nonstop about it and experience really bad anxiety over it. I find it hard to stop comfortably unless someone tells me too. I always have to be reassured that what I'm doing is okay.

 

[Penryn]

It's nice and not nice to hear someone has similar experiences. xD  It always feels great when someone knows what you're going through, at the same time it sucks because I don't want people to know what it feels like.


I actually have depression as well. I'm on medication for that and I should be going on medication for anxiety in the future. The anxiety has always been a problem for me, I sorta started noticing it in 8th grade around six years ago even in a time of utter joy in my life so I'm pretty sure this was just something that's apart of me if that makes sense. I overthink absolutely everything and it gets me quite annoyed and paranoid. xD  The depression comes in a few years ago following the deaths of my Grandparents who raised me, although I've dealt with it pretty well. It's more so the normal fears of becoming an adult, especially since I'm trying to hard to discover myself.


A little over a year ago is when I had to take medication and go into intensive therapy. Long story short, I saw something very frightening and it put me in a severe state of depression and fear that I've never experienced prior. I suffered severe panic attacks along the lines you have, with everything feeling like a dream and whatnot as well as just the overall sense of fear and dread. I became unhealthily obsessed with what I saw and it got to the point where I just couldn't sleep at night and I was just an utter mess in my life. Don't worry though I'm fine now! xD  It was just a really bad experience. It's cool to see that you understand what I'm talking about.


Somewhat recently I've gone to numerous programs and had a evaluation done where it's believed I have some OCD, possible Aspergers and PTSD in addition to that. I don't like talking about that too much because yet again I over think as to why someone has something like that and it makes me uncomfortable because I freak out wondering what someone has gone through to cause that. 


Do you perhaps experience anxiety when it comes to writing and what not? I often get very paranoid an anxious over my writing and characters. I just fear that my characters suck or something. xD  I often stay away from the serious topics on the board, especially since certain ones stress me out. I also have a bad habit where someone gives me a suggestion where I take it as an order. For example, if I want to host a roleplay about say, the Catholic Church and you suggest me to research about it, I'll research nonstop about it and experience really bad anxiety over it. I find it hard to stop comfortably unless someone tells me too. I always have to be reassured that what I'm doing is okay.

I'm sorry about your loses and I can't imagine how hard that must've been. I've gone to many funerals and I've lost a lot of loved ones even in my nuclear family. The grief will always remain but because of my faith, I'm happy to know where they are and that it won't be long until I see them again. Two years ago, I had a much heavier depression, one that was just off the rails because of the grief and it even got to the point that I was verbally abusing my mother and just angry. I don't know how I did it but it was like that until earlier this year and all of I sudden, it just struck me that I wouldn't have my mom forever and I should be damn grateful. I truly believe it was PTSD from the grief, no doubt. I changed like you wouldn't believe and there are some tiny things I need to overcome but the much larger portion I did take care of. So, I know what grief can do to you so as it wasn't already expressed if you read in between the lines, I'm here for whenever you feel like talking. I don't care if you want to talk geeky stuff with me or you need to get something out, I'll be there. I had my mother but aside from her, I had no one else. I know what it's not like to have someone, a true friend there for you so my offer will always be open to you.


I'm delighted to hear that you're in much better shape and will continue to pray and send out those positive vibes that your anxiety will get treated soon. To add to your concern, it is actually not a thing that we do on purpose. The overthinking, the nerves, it has to do with a part of the brain where there is a chemical imbalance that skews the rest so a consequence of that is our anxiety, depression, OCD (boy I have that, look at how I write, OCD, my friend - but I write a lot too so lol), and you name it. This was always emphasized to me day one when I met my psychiatrist because it's true, you feel like, wow I must hate myself because I keep doing this. No, it's just as automatic as it is to breathe, you can't control it, it just is. There was an interesting study that although other people haven't been diagnosed for mental illnesses, however mild or severe, everyone has something, sorta like how that saying goes that everyone has problems - that counts for health too and others that don't need a diagnosis but it's there.


I also know what that last anxiety you mentioned is like too. It's like you think you're bad enough so you want to put all your energy into this thing for it to be perfect unlike other things about yourself so as to not disappoint others and well, be a people pleaser. Sorta to hide the awkwardness that one thinks the other people can sense. I see it that way and ain't nothing wrong with it but what is wrong is for you to overwhelm yourself so bad to the point when it becomes a health issue. Forgive me for being blunt but you can get migraines with that crap. Be kind to yourself, go easy on yourself. I know it's hard but just take comfort in knowing that you're not alone and you're absolutely not weird. You can tell me more about what you have and I'll be like, girl (or boy), psh, I've gone through all of that, now tell me how I'm still standing, mate. Lol, not in a rude way, but I just know these things to a T from personal experience so if I got through it, so can you. If I can comfort you that you're not going nuts or that you're not nuts, I'm here.

 

[Aqua7KH]

I'm sorry about your loses and I can't imagine how hard that must've been. I've gone to many funerals and I've lost a lot of loved ones even in my nuclear family. The grief will always remain but because of my faith, I'm happy to know where they are and that it won't be long until I see them again. Two years ago, I had a much heavier depression, one that was just off the rails because of the grief and it even got to the point that I was verbally abusing my mother and just angry. I don't know how I did it but it was like that until earlier this year and all of I sudden, it just struck me that I wouldn't have my mom forever and I should be damn grateful. I truly believe it was PTSD from the grief, no doubt. I changed like you wouldn't believe and there are some tiny things I need to overcome but the much larger portion I did take care of. So, I know what grief can do to you so as it wasn't already expressed if you read in between the lines, I'm here for whenever you feel like talking. I don't care if you want to talk geeky stuff with me or you need to get something out, I'll be there. I had my mother but aside from her, I had no one else. I know what it's not like to have someone, a true friend there for you so my offer will always be open to you.


I'm delighted to hear that you're in much better shape and will continue to pray and send out those positive vibes that your anxiety will get treated soon. To add to your concern, it is actually not a thing that we do on purpose. The overthinking, the nerves, it has to do with a part of the brain where there is a chemical imbalance that skews the rest so a consequence of that is our anxiety, depression, OCD (boy I have that, look at how I write, OCD, my friend - but I write a lot too so lol), and you name it. This was always emphasized to me day one when I met my psychiatrist because it's true, you feel like, wow I must hate myself because I keep doing this. No, it's just as automatic as it is to breathe, you can't control it, it just is. There was an interesting study that although other people haven't been diagnosed for mental illnesses, however mild or severe, everyone has something, sorta like how that saying goes that everyone has problems - that counts for health too and others that don't need a diagnosis but it's there.


I also know what that last anxiety you mentioned is like too. It's like you think you're bad enough so you want to put all your energy into this thing for it to be perfect unlike other things about yourself so as to not disappoint others and well, be a people pleaser. Sorta to hide the awkwardness that one thinks the other people can sense. I see it that way and ain't nothing wrong with it but what is wrong is for you to overwhelm yourself so bad to the point when it becomes a health issue. Forgive me for being blunt but you can get migraines with that crap. Be kind to yourself, go easy on yourself. I know it's hard but just take comfort in knowing that you're not alone and you're absolutely not weird. You can tell me more about what you have and I'll be like, girl (or boy), psh, I've gone through all of that, now tell me how I'm still standing, mate. Lol, not in a rude way, but I just know these things to a T from personal experience so if I got through it, so can you. If I can comfort you that you're not going nuts or that you're not nuts, I'm here.

Thank you so much! It's always nice to have friendly faces~ Perhaps we'll become regulars sometime? It's funny, you never know how one small little thing can change everything forever.

 

[Penryn]

Thank you so much! It's always nice to have friendly faces~ Perhaps we'll become regulars sometime? It's funny, you never know how one small little thing can change everything forever.

LOLOL


I apologize, I can be very "like that" and goofy at late hours but of course, lovely!


There is no way I could possibly say no that, are you kidding!? xD

 

[Aqua7KH]

LOLOL


I apologize, I can be very "like that" and goofy at late hours but of course, lovely!


There is no way I could possibly say no that, are you kidding!? xD

Don't worry, I'm like that as well!

 

[Penryn]

Don't worry, I'm like that as well!

If I didn't like you before, I like you even more now! xD