Poetry An outlet for a girl who is drowning.

[Emmy]

Depression, anxiety, panic disorder... there are more I'm being tested for.
These are things I battle with daily, outside of the normal stressors of life in general.
I want to use this thread as an outlet, a place where I post my shitty poems and, I guess, for those who may relate.

I'm just so tired.​

 

[Emmy]

Drowning.

Salty or fresh, I know not which.
All I know is that it is vast, all-consuming.
It is frigid and it is unforgiving.
It remembers all atrocity and forgets all joy.
It pulls me deeper into its depths.
It tells me I am unheard, unseen, dispensable.
I’m screaming for my lips to break through the surface.
I am only yanked, violently, further downward.
Someday, I will realize my hands are thrashing for what is unobtainable.
Someday, I will stop begging for the air my soul yearns for.
Someday, I will swallow the water of despair.
I will feel it plunge into my chest and flood my lungs.
I will no longer fight its steady currents.
It will encompass me until I can no longer see the glimmer above.
Until I can no longer hear the echoes of those that proclaim their love for me.
Maybe then I will be free. ​

 

[Tarmagon]

I will

I stand upon the edge of an endless sea.
Blacker than a starless sky, colder than endless space.
It speaks without words, tales of despair, worthlessness.
Appalled, I begin to turn away from the sea of blackness.
Movement. The barest ripple upon the oily surface.
No hesitation, no thought.
I will...
Dive blindly into the darkness, searching.
I will...
Reach for the desperately clasping hand of a stranger.
I will...
Draw them close, offering warmth against the cold.
I will...
Offer my breath that they may not suffocate.
I will...
Raise my voice that the desperate cries may be heard.
I will...
Give freely of my strength, that they be not swept away.
I will...
Share my vision, that hope shall remain within sight.
I will...
Bear them up, that they may rest and recover.
I will...
Offer all that has been given to me.
That which plucked me from my own sea.
​

 

[Tarmagon]

Night sky

When I was young, I looked into the night sky.
Before me spread an infinity of stars, blazing like jewels.
Time passed. I became a teen before I looked into the sky again.
There were still too many stars to count, but...
I saw gaps, patches of unbroken blackness.
It wasn't until my mid-twenties that I dared look skyward.
Dark clouds roiled the sky, cutting off all but the briefest glimpse of the stars.
Many of the gaps in the clouds showed only black sky.
The few stars that appeared were, somehow dim.
Frightened by what I saw, I turned my eyes to the ground.
Plodding forward in life, I resolutely kept my eyes down.
Even then, the night sky intruded. Reflections, glimpses.
Every stolen glance a little darker.
The stars fewer, no longer jewels, barely embers.
Now I stand on the precipice, staring into a black sky.
A darkness so deep it seems to pull at my soul.
One step, so simple to answer that call.
A touch. Warm where there was only cold.
A glimmer, barely seen, but a beacon in the stygian gloom.
A hand slips into mine.
The glimmer grows, swelling into an ember, alone in the sky.
A gentle squeeze.
The ember grows, a star shining in defiance of the darkness.
A whisper.
"I'm here."
That single star swells, then vanishes in a blinding flash.
I stand, looking into a night sky filled with stars.
Thank you for helping me see.​