A Series of Unsent Letters..

[Celestials]

This journal will be a series of letters I've never sent, either because I wrote them out of rage or because I was too scared to send them. I've always been fascinated in writing letters, although with the internet and text messages, letters seem to have died out. Humans are nosy by nature, so I figured someone is bound to enjoy this.


If you have any questions, comments, or just wanna say hi--please PM me rather than commenting on this, I want to keep this journal as neat as I possibly can.


The letters in this journal may contain foul language or mature themes as well as some weird internal monologue. Please keep this in mind before reading. Letters addressed to myself will have a light purple background, letters addressed to friends will have a creme colored background, and letters addressed to my family will have a light blue background. Hope you enjoy!

 

[Celestials]

Dear Dad,

I don't even know where to begin with you.

You make me absolutely sick, you bring shame to our last name.

You've said some of the worst possible things to me, your youngest daughter, and you still demand respect?

I will never respect you. A man who has put his children in the car while he was drunkenly trying to drive does not deserve respect. A man who abandons his family until midnight to drink, will never ever get respect. A man who has chosen drinking over his wife who was developing MS deserves to rot in hell.

The best part about all of this is that I still love you.

I still crave your approval, and I still crave your time.

I've put up with so much shit from you, from you forgetting my birthday to cheating on my mother on someone you dated twenty years ago while you were supposed to be in rehab, then dropping out of your sober living home to live with a useless pile of crap you call a girlfriend.

I can honestly say I have never hated another human being, except for her. Jody. That's for another letter.

I've begged you not to drink in front of me,

because it reminds me of that day,

you know the one.

The one where I was feeling sick and you made me go to school anyways, promising that you'd be waiting for me at the bus stop when I got out of school.

When I got to the bus stop, you weren't there. I waited half an hour before my friend convinced me to wait at his house, instead of outside in the pouring rain.

I went to his house and called you about twenty times. His mom wasn't home so I couldn't just get a ride home.

You didn't answer.

At 6pm, you showed up outside of his house in your stupid truck. When I got inside I could smell the liquor on your breath. I saw something shiny on the dashboard, so I grabbed them.

I've never felt more heartbroken in my life.

There were six drinking tokens in total, all from that one day.

I still feel like that little eight year old girl in her puffy jacket, waiting outside in the rain for her dad.

I hate that I still love you.

Sincerely,

Ashley.​

 

[Celestials]

Dear Mom,

I love you to bits, really, but please for the love of god, don't try to steer the car when I'm trying to drive.

I know I almost hit a fire hydrant, but if I didn't know you were gonna scream in that moment, I would've rammed straight into it. Please, don't ever try to teach me to drive again. I'll leave that to Robert.

Xoxox,

Ashley.​