RpNation

I am a good dad to my sons and daughters. You're just the one that hasn't earned it.

Devious Dilbert

WHY AM I THE BULLIED CHILD

Because you're the shit one. Shoulda become that Engineer.

Devious Dilbert

OH YEAH? WHAT ARE MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS?

A good kind of shit. The one you fertilise fields with. You're just a crusty turd to me.

Devious Dilbert

FATHER, IF I PURSUE THE DREAM OF AN ENGINEER, WILL I FINALLY BRING BACK THE HONOR TO YOUR NAME

Oh, I've always had honour to my name. I just legally changed yours to Dilbert.

Devious Dilbert

I'LL DO IT, DAD. I'LL BE THE BEST DAMN ENGINEER THERE EVER WAS. AND ONE DAY YOU'LL SEE HOW MUCH POTENTIAL I HAVE IN ME

Thing is you wasted the Oxford education funds I had spent.

Devious Dilbert

YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I DID. CUZ I BOUGHT YOU A HOUSE WITH IT. DO YOU LOVE ME NOW

I already had a house.

Devious Dilbert

WELL NOW YOU HAVE TWO. ALL OF YOUR KIDS CAN LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE OF THEM

So... you bought a house for your siblings.

Devious Dilbert

...YES. BECAUSE I HATE YOU DAD

Aren't you tryna win my approval?

Devious Dilbert

YES. I HATE YOU BUT I WANT THE AFFECTION AND ATTENTION FROM MY PARENTAL FIGURE. IT IS A BRUTAL PSYCHOLOGICAL BATTLE

Well, too bad you're millennial scuuuuum

Devious Dilbert

YOU'RE A MILENNIAL TOO

I don't identify as one of you scuuuuum.

Devious Dilbert

THAT'S TOO BAD. THIS ISN'T SOMETHING LIKE GENDER THAT YOU CAN JUST THROW AND SWAP AROUND