RpNation

Devious Dilbert

HOW DID SHE BIRTH ME IF SHE'S A PIECE OF WOOD DAD. UNLESS... Did you do it, father?

LEONARDO DA VINCI WAS AN ENGINEER. YOU DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE HIM?

And no, I turned your mother into a pencil. Legally, you're just a doodle.

Devious Dilbert

OH YOU'RE RIGHT. HE MADE ME WINGS IN ASSASSIN'S CREED

And we had this whole conversation because I skipped out on my meds today.

Devious Dilbert

IF MY MOTHER IS A PENCIL AND I AM ART, THEN WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU

Ahem...

THE ARTIST

Devious Dilbert

BUT YOU'RE MISSING ONE CRUCIAL DETAIL. WHO IS THE PAPER

I used the remains of your mother for the paper.

Devious Dilbert

That... sounds very brutal. HOW COME I'VE NEVER MET MY MOTHER. DID YOU KILL HER??! MY DAD'S A PSYCHO SOMEONE HELP

I may have accidentally stepped on the pencil after I dropped it on the floor.

Devious Dilbert

... Oh... oh my god... I- I gotta go. I gotta get far away from you. Social services is coming by tomorrow for me

>Axel begins to proceed to rip up the paper that you were doodled upon, effectively ending your life<

Ded.

Devious Dilbert

ART. NEVER. DIES. I WILL BE REBORN. A PHOENIX ALWAYS RISES FROM ITS ASHES.

Devious Dilbert

HAVEN'T YOU LEARNED? EVERY TIME YOU KILL ME, I COME BACK. I AM FOREVER YOUR BURDEN. AND... MISTAKE.

>Axel then goes on to toss you into a bonfire<

Devious Dilbert

FOOL, I'LL BE BACK. NOT TODAY, NOT TOMORROW. BUT I'LL BE BACK.

>Axel then tosses the remains into a bucket of water<

Devious Dilbert

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO GIVE YOUR KIDS LOVE AND AFFECTION LIKE A GOOD DAD. TERRIBLE DAD AXEL