Advice/Help How to find good RP partners?

Hey everyone, I'm new to this website (though not to RPing) and thought I'd ask for some basic advice on how best to go about finding RP partners on this site. Also how to keep multiple RP's up and running, I've had past experiences of having a few going at once and struggling to keep up with delays or different time zones, some people expecting you to be omnipresent and constantly reply and getting mad when you can't, or other people taking their time or going totally M.I.A for weeks without warning and then coming back out of the blue. It's always one or the other, either you can't keep up with someone else's demand, or feel like you're being dropped and picked back up again without so much as a word...
Needless to say life is unpredictable and having understanding of other peoples' situations is important, but how on earth do you guys manage to keep a steady RP going while keeping everyone in the loop and content with the rate of it? Just finding understanding RP partners and having an open line of communication is super important to avoid pressure, worry or drama, but how does one do that?

Thanks for taking the time to read this! Any advise is much appreciated!

First there are two basic types of roleplaying on this site

Group Roleplays that are usually 4 + people and run by one GM. Running a group involves a good grasp of delegation and organization.

There are plenty of threads going on how to run group rps so I won’t get too in-depth.

Just for your specific question ; if your running a group a good way to keep everyone posting is ask for everyone’s time zone and set a posting schedule up.

Like you give everyone a week to post for a specific situation. You can’t double post so you do have people spamminn. also you miss two weeks of posts your out of the rp, which will take care of ghosting.

The other type of rp is 1x1s between usually two or sometimes three people.

This is easier to get aligned as again you can ask your partner(s) specifically when they can post and what their time zones are. You can also give them your information.

Lot of 1x1 searches have posting requests in The search so people will say how often they can post /how often they want their partners to post.



Beyond just asking there isn’t a magic formula, you just have to be patient and keep looking until you find a good match

Thanks so much for the advise, definitely helpful! I have managed to find a few lovely 1x1 partners, but might stay out of groups (or at least avoid managing any) for the moment haha. I seem to have a really good understanding with all of my partners and I'm confident all will be well.
Thanks again for taking the time to write back, happy RPing!

Before I begin giving any advise, I want to say this: Unfortunately, as you yourself said, life is complicated and unpredicatable. Even if you had the perfect method for finding partners, most of them would still be lost over time. It's inevitable and it's important for us roleplayers to understand and accept that fact, and learn to move on from it without breaking down.

Now I want to offer here four steps that I think should help getting to more suitable partners with more ease:

1. Get to know yourself
Before anything else, you need to know what you want. What you really really want (yes, that was a reference, but focus). I don't mean just cravings- sure cravings are a big driving factor, but they die off pretty easily. Usually after consuming the next piece of media you like, boom, the craving changed. And this is a problem because most roleplays are not that short. Quite the opposite. However, there are things a person likes which stick with them for most if not all their time as roleplayers. Things that just naturally spark their imagination or get them even a bit excited or more interested in being invested. That's the kind of thing you want to find out about yourself. Things that, in the long-term, can keep you interested in thinking about and exploring and experiencing.

Perhaps even more importantly though, you want to know your strengths and weaknesses. For example, I know I am a really opinionated person. Knowing this, I know that I need partners who will not take offense at this or be scared by it. People who comform more easily will have an easier time with somene less open-minded than I would.


2. Be upfront
Now that you have at least a decent grasp of how you are (and don't worry this obviously takes experience to even begin figuring out), it's time to meet up with your partner and tell them. Everything. You may be thinking "wait, won't that turn them away?"

Well, that's the point. If basic communication is a problem for your partner, do you expect them to communicate when there is an actual problem? And if you don't put what you need out of your partner and the kind of issues you may have, then they won't know what landmines to avoid- which is basically begging for them to come at a later stage when they can no longer be fixed.

On the other hand, being upfront with your partner may help them see you as honest and self-aware, two traits that can help inspire trust, an essential aspect of roleplaying as partners.


3. Get to know your partner
So, now you got yourself out there and you and your partner are aware of some things that need to be avoided. But not everyone took these two steps. In fact, most won't have. It's your job, then to help you work as a unit better by taking an active role in helping your partner also come out of their shell and share their own interests, cravings and personal identity and needs as a roleplayer. The simplest way of doing this is via questions, thougn beware for questions are sometimes answered with real hesitance, so I recommend beggining by tyring to engage with your partner on their terms. Look around in images or their search thread, try to find out a bit about their tastes and give a personal touch to your greeting and conversation with them.

4. Have a plan B- don't wing it
Out of all steps, this is perhaps the one I would find most important for a long-term roleplay partnership: Don't try to just come with stuff on the spot and don't delay thinking about the future. This is especially important in deciding what roleplays to take: If you only think about which roleplays you can commit to right now, then you will find yourself compromising with many roleplays that you simply won't be able to keep up with things get minimally rough and that can spiral down to all of your roleplays.
I recommend planning the roleplay's structure, at least scene by scene, head of time. This way when things get a little rougher or it's hard to find inspiration you have plans to fall back into, instead of having to rely on some muse from the sky that may or may not come.

5. Show commitment
You probably wouldn't like it if your partner were to reply with one word for every sentence or a one liner for several paragraphs of a post. Your partner won't like it if you that either. But those are extreme cases of an underlying matter. You can't expect more commitment from a partner than the one you put in yourself- even if that committment is reduced considerably in stressful times. So the best option is to try to be as committed as possible at all times, so that whenthings get rough your partner will still be able to think of all the effort you put in before.


Hope this helps!

Thanks for the great advice, and for taking the time to write that all! It's definitely given me something to reflect on and use as a guide in the future. Gotta go do some serious soul-searching now!

lure 'em in with bad jokes and promises of banter and then throw plot and epic drama at them.

Hook line and sinker.

Of course! It’s such a simple but sure fire formula! Why didn’t I have the good sense to think of it myself?

For 1 x 1, I like to give everyone a chance. However, it doesn't always work. I think there's always at least one who's interested who would make a good partner.

A Awakening AKIRA
i agree
101%

Mia Moulop said:

For 1 x 1, I like to give everyone a chance. However, it doesn't always work. I think there's always at least one who's interested who would make a good partner.

Click to expand...

That's a good point, I do try to give everyone a chance, but there are certain things that really bug me. For example, people that just stop replying, people who clearly don't put effort into their writing, constantly poor grammar and spelling, or passages that just don't make a inch of sense. I'm a very understanding person, but there a a few things that really irk me, and I've unfortunately had to deal with a decent amount in the past. I still believe in giving everyone a fair chance though, just need to get better at finding partner with the same ideals as me. Thanks for the response

How to find a good RP partner? Present yourself as one.

Be assertive but respectful in your interest checks; avoid qualifiers like "could" or "possibly" in your guidelines or plot ideas, just state what you are looking for and politely turn people down via PM if you don't think they can do what is expected of them. That being said, focus less on requirements for your partner and more on what you will do in exchange. You may have to sacrifice some restrictions in order to seem more open and draw in more interest, but you can enforce those rules at a later time. Initiate communication. Offer constructive feedback and tell your partner if something is bothering you. Let them know about your activity or interest in the RP and inquire about theirs. You may have to step out of your comfort zone, but just keep it simple and friendly.

Thanks for the advise, will definitely take it into account