Experiences whats with the people on here....

[Cogwork]

It is adults' responsibility to guide the younger generation and society as a whole

I agree to an degree, but I feel like there is a time and place. Most people who roleplay does so as an hobby, and I think it's fair that people don't want to sacrifice their fun and enjoyment to guide the younger generation all the time.

It enrages me that people like you are under the assumption that simply because you do not have a problem writing with younger people makes you automatically interested in a "f*tish."

I feel this is a good time to point out that I don't have an age requirement when I roleplay either.

I just feel that the particular argument I responded to didn't work and used an example to show why. I never meant to imply that there was anything wrong with writing with younger people.

 

[nerdy tangents]

Perpetual Zen if I may I think Cogwork's basic argument is that age restrictions aren't actually about content. I think the whole R rated conversation is a moot point because when people say "18+" in a roleplay setting they aren't actually talking about the content of the roleplay. They literally just mean please be age 18 or older to write with me.

It ties back into the power imbalance thing I said earlier. It isn't because they think people under eighteen shouldn't be exposed to certain materials. It's not saying "oh this content is too dark or mature or whatever." It's really just literally saying "Hey I'm looking people this age or older to write with."

Now some people might be uncomfortable writing certain topics with minors but that is always a personal preference for them.

Ex. If I say I don't like writing student x teacher relationships. I am not saying I think my partner is too immature to write the content. I am saying it makes me personally uncomfortable to write it out.

Same thing here when people are like "I don't like writing romance or "adult" content with children it's not really about the children themselves being immature or unable to handle the content. It is about the adult being uncomfortable talking about it with children.

Now you and I have a different line at which we become uncomfortable talking to children. That doesn't mean the other people are wrong it just means they have a different comfort zone than you and me.

 

[neon reverie]

I feel like the topic around age requirement/restriction on this website regarding rps is discussed time and time again, buried, and then dug from the grave for another discussion that rarely seems to achieve something.

Again, no adult rpers here should have to bend their own comfort for the sake of guiding the youth on this platform.

Minors are allowed to be upset about this and feel like they are being barred from good rps -- and i get that it sucks to be excluded solely because you don't meet the age requirement-- but older rpers still have the right to decline the rps, may their reason be for comfort or for self-protection.

I myself don't mind roleplaying with minors in group rps (depending on the setting) and are flexible to make certain exceptions for 1x1, but others aren't and that's not wrong either.

 

[Perpetual Zen]

Perpetual Zen if I may I think Cogwork's basic argument is that age restrictions aren't actually about content. I think the whole R rated conversation is a moot point because when people say "18+" in a roleplay setting they aren't actually talking about the content of the roleplay. They literally just mean please be age 18 or older to write with me.

It ties back into the power imbalance thing I said earlier. It isn't because they think people under eighteen shouldn't be exposed to certain materials. It's not saying "oh this content is too dark or mature or whatever." It's really just literally saying "Hey I'm looking people this age or older to write with."

Now some people might be uncomfortable writing certain topics with minors but that is always a personal preference for them.

Ex. If I say I don't like writing student x teacher relationships. I am not saying I think my partner is too immature to write the content. I am saying it makes me personally uncomfortable to write it out.

Same thing here when people are like "I don't like writing romance or "adult" content with children it's not really about the children themselves being immature or unable to handle the content. It is about the adult being uncomfortable talking about it with children.

Now you and I have a different line at which we become uncomfortable talking to children. That doesn't mean the other people are wrong it just means they have a different comfort zone than you and me.

Comfort level with age demographic I totally can relate to and this makes sense. The power imbalance of just having a large age gap is a very valid reason

Using the argument "you must be then saying this : we should allow children to expose themselves to er*tic content" just got me seeing a bit of red. I just find the "startle" factor for making a point is just really flustering. It just elicits a purely emotional protective response. But I can completely understand the point of "trigger warnings" as a sort of label. I can also understand just the natural want to be in your own age demographic. I mean everyone feels more comfortable with their peers. This is true

Also, I'm like you too Nerdy, I very rarely role play heavy romance with my members because of the age gap. In fact, it's been an annoyance in the past I'll often just write a romance partner for my characters. This is a point I can really relate to.

*Ohhh to add I didn't see your comments after Cogwork but it's okay to disagree and agree. I can grow with a understanding I have a huge bias on this topic.
The sacrifice of time, I can really understand. This is a good point and I think we just had a misunderstanding and that's okay too *

 

[StuartAnderson]

It's a deal breaker for me because I'm male and most of my roleplays are based around romance. I don't feel comfortable writing romance content with minors because if someone were to find it, there would definitely be suspicions around me, maybe more.

it sucks that these assumptions exists but they do and I'M the one that would have to live with the consequences/
It's self protection and i'm not giving that up.

 

[Lavendear]

your age isn't necessarily anyone's business - especially if you're old enough to join the army in my country - so like, it could be hidden and not brought up, unless you somehow have a distinctively 16 y/o writing style.

PLEASE don't do that. Concealing your age as a minor to play with people who explicitly state they don't want to play with minors is extremely unethical and taking advantage of peoples' trust, please don't do that and respect their wishes. I mean, also consider that a lot of people are on here not just to roleplay but also make friends with their rp partners—how would you feel if you discovered the basis of your friendship was formed on a lie? I know I at least wouldn't feel great about that

That being said, if you want an explanation OP, plain and simple: Not all adults are comfortable talking to minors, especially if romantic themes are involved, it can feel very weird and uncomfortable for some people. It does suck, I get it, it bothered me a lot when I was a minor who RPed, but please don't try to circumvent peoples' wishes like that (addressed to anyone reading this!)

There are plenty of RPers who don't mind writing with minors, and if you can't find one yourself, you can always make your own thread to find a partner

 

[nerdy tangents]

nah go ahead and lie lol, it's the internet and you don't really owe anyone the truth about yourself.

** using the general You. Not talking about you (AtlannianSpy) specifically **

I mean you are still interacting with real human beings. So basic etiquette is still very much a thing on the internet.

You do absolutely owe other people basic courtesy and respect of their personal boundaries. I don’t care if your talking over letters, the keyboard, or face to face.

So no you should not lie to people as a way of disrespecting a boundary they have clearly set for themselves. It’s rude and manipulative.

It also proves that you aren’t a good person to write with because you don’t treat your partner as a real person with valid feelings.

 

[neon reverie]

I think if your boundaries are totally unenforceable you might want to reevaluate them.

I think its much healthier for everyone if we just understand that we can and will lie to each other on the internet sometimes and let that understanding moderate the level of investment and trust we put into online relationships.

Being able to curate your own identity and present yourself how you want to is a feature, not a bug of the internet.

Rarely are personal boundaries ever truly enforceable since you can't control what other people say or do, but that does not make those boundaries any less valid. If someone for example says they do not like physical contact, then that's a boundary too and even though they can't stop people from breaching that boundary, that does not mean they should reevaluate it. Same goes for age limits.

How about we just respect each other's listed boundaries on the internet and don't try to justify lying to circumvent said boundary. I think a lot of people here accept that people lie on the internet, but they don't have to be okay with it.

 

[truthofself]

I think if your boundaries are totally unenforceable you might want to reevaluate them.

I think its much healthier for everyone if we just understand that we can and will lie to each other on the internet sometimes and let that understanding moderate the level of investment and trust we put into online relationships.

Being able to curate your own identity and present yourself how you want to is a feature, not a bug of the internet.

As someone who has been in a situation where someone I interacted with lied to me about their age; you are complete wrong here. And your opinion just shouldn't be allowed in this situation.

I used to write with this person; game with this person; have conversations with their person that were nsfw, because when we met online when i was 15; she also told me she was 15. I found out last year when i was 23 that she just graduated high school last summer. That she was 18. She's 5 years younger than me. When I was 18 and I thought she was too and we were having those private conversations about our lifes and what we did in them with others, SHE WAS 13. Do you know how damaging that is? That if she wanted to; she could've done with any of those messages. Personal conversations I had that were NSFW abt my life with someone i grew up with thinking was my own age; turns out they lied to me and abused my trust.

If you ever think you can just make all whole new reality for yourself online simply because you want to find it and be seen one way. You are actively causing an issue and damaging another persons life. Respecting others, and their boundaries and not lying about your age is cool and nice and something PEOPLE SHOULD DO. Do not try to throw that stuff away simply because it is online and invalid. Your way of thinking is invalid. Do not encourage others to damage or ruin another's life simply for the sake of some hobby. People have boundaries for THEIR COMFORT. Do not ruin someone's comfort simply because you can bc its the internet. you sound so insanely freaking stupid.

 

[Perpetual Zen]

As someone who has been in a situation where someone I interacted with lied to me about their age; you are complete wrong here. And your opinion just shouldn't be allowed in this situation.

I used to write with this person; game with this person; have conversations with their person that were nsfw, because when we met online when i was 15; she also told me she was 15. I found out last year when i was 23 that she just graduated high school last summer. That she was 18. She's 5 years younger than me. When I was 18 and I thought she was too and we were having those private conversations about our lifes and what we did in them with others, SHE WAS 13. Do you know how damaging that is? That if she wanted to; she could've done with any of those messages. Personal conversations I had that were NSFW abt my life with someone i grew up with thinking was my own age; turns out they lied to me and abused my trust.

If you ever think you can just make all whole new reality for yourself online simply because you want to find it and be seen one way. You are actively causing an issue and damaging another persons life. Respecting others, and their boundaries and not lying about your age is cool and nice and something PEOPLE SHOULD DO. Do not try to throw that stuff away simply because it is online and invalid. Your way of thinking is invalid. Do not encourage others to damage or ruin another's life simply for the sake of some hobby. People have boundaries for THEIR COMFORT. Do not ruin someone's comfort simply because you can bc its the internet. you sound so insanely freaking stupid.

I too had an experience in the realm of age and lying and I was mortified and actually it was a HUGE breach of trust.
No one should lie about their age to create an identity. That's in the realm of mental instability and said person should get help. Genuinely. Truly. I mean that with kindness.
This is why people can get charged for misrepresenting their identity on the internet. It exists.
As an adult, I feel a want to guide younger individuals but if you lie to me about your age. You really breached a sense of trust and I will seriously evaluate who you are as a person
morally. I mean, I'm not going to go there because this is a PG conversation. But lying about your age to make a persona is why a lot of horrible things exist in this world and people of power get away with it....

 

[Perpetual Zen]

the people who are fudging their age by a few years to join an rp are not the same people who are deceiving you for years on end to extract damaging personal information and conflating them is not helpful for anyone.

Frankly, if the issue is so damaging in your eyes you might need to reevaluate whether a hobby that consists almost solely of corresponding with strangers online is even suitable for you. At the very least I hope you all operate with a level of caution that is proportionate to the potential for harm you are describing.

I honestly don't see the point in justifying your opinion. It's wrong and quite frankly dangerous.
You may want to re-evaluate the terms of service to get a better idea of how this sites runs.
It's not an issue of opinion. It's a terms of service everyone must follow to be a member on this forum.
But I'm unfollowing this thread, it's officially crossed my boundaries and I'm tapping out.

 

[Ganryu]

I honestly don't see the point in justifying your opinion. It's wrong and quite frankly dangerous.
You may want to re-evaluate the terms of service to get a better idea of this sites runs.
It's not an issue of opinion. It's a terms of service everyone must follow to be a member on this forum.
I truly hope, your not advising anyone to go against the terms of service because that's a valid reason to report

If I'm not wrong, terms of service also say to keep it SFW.

There's nothing about breaking terms of service in that post, be honest to admins when joining, be old enough for site, but personal info is, shockingly, personal.

Giving personal info, and going NSFW with strangers is more unsafe, aaaand definitely against site rules. Divulging personal info is unsafe. Some sick people will use that info inversely. Keep it SFW.

_____

My advice to OP, people with that requirement weren't worth RPing with in the first place, and you're saving yourself sometime. They're more worried about connections with the player than actually playing the game and I find them kind of clingy and not worth the emotional effort to Rp with in the first place. Better to filter before than get into an Rp and hate your partner but feel obligated.

Some of the better RPers on here have shocked me with their age later on(and some ESL waaaay better writers than natives). I don't really care. I'm not going to be inappropriate no matter what the age, and I'm just here to write for fun. If someone's same level of writing as me, and were both enjoying it, great.

We're not enjoying it? Bye.

 

[Daisie]

You are under no obligation to provide your age, gender, race, or religious affiliation to anyone online. This is your private information. If someone asks you to provide any of these details, you may do so as a courtesy, but never as a requirement.

Edit: Some sites obviously require inputting your age in order to sign up lol. I'm talking about individual users you may come across while you're there.

 

[Perpetual Zen]

If I'm not wrong, terms of service also say to keep it SFW.

There's nothing about breaking terms of service in that post, be honest to admins when joining, be old enough for site, but personal info is, shockingly, personal.

Giving personal info, and going NSFW with strangers is more unsafe, aaaand definitely against site rules. Divulging personal info is unsafe. Some sick people will use that info inversely. Keep it SFW.

_____

My advice to OP, people with that requirement weren't worth RPing with in the first place, and you're saving yourself sometime. They're more worried about connections with the player than actually playing the game and I find them kind of clingy and not worth the emotional effort to Rp with in the first place. Better to filter before than get into an Rp and hate your partner but feel obligated.

Some of the better RPers on here have shocked me with their age later on(and some ESL waaaay better writers than natives). I don't really care. I'm not going to be inappropriate no matter what the age, and I'm just here to write for fun. If someone's same level of writing as me, and were both enjoying it, great.

We're not enjoying it? Bye.

I'm not talking about merely writing with younger people. I'm talking about people clearly breaking terms of service on this site by giving the wrong age. Breach of terms of service, when joining. You have a birthday there. It should be the correct one
But I had tapped out of this conversation and would appreciate not being quoted again, thanks

 

[Lorsh]

 

[Sylvio]

Just get older lol

 

[DovahBeat]

personally, as an adult, i understand that some younger folks may find it uncomfortable to rp with me, just as i am uncomfy with rping with a minor in a 1x1 setting. So i will be upfront with this, and let it be mostly the readers' decision to rp with me or not. for group rps, im fine with minors bc it's a community, less intimate (not in an adult sense of the word, i mean like how close the rpers generally get with one another). I will state on group rps that if the themes or my age bothers anyone, that they shouldn't join. The only time I put a more strict age restriction on my rps are in a 1x1 setting, bc its closer to being like. 2 people in a room versus 5 people in a room. If that makes sense?

 

[wordmaven]

Can't say I can truly relate to your experience. It is often that the folk who desire partners above 18 years of age are interested in concepts/themes/genres that wouldn't normally interest younger people. When I was a teenager, what interested me was shonen & combat RPs. My primary searching ground was discord servers back then (still using discord), never tried RPN, Reddit, or RP forums.

I believe it will be hard for you to find partners in your age range on forums/RPN, since the younger side of the RP milieu is usually confined to discord.

 

[Cogwork]

also, YOU ARE 19! wink wink! Nod nod! if anyone should ask.
YOU ARE 19 YEARS OLD! Wink wink!

I'm curious, do you not understand why not respecting other people's wishes is bad or do you just not care?

 

[Paperstick]

Please just create your own RP and say "only minors allowed", and stop complaining about the boundaries set by other people to make them feel safe in their hobby. Clearly, there are plenty of other minors here. Finding other kids to play with should be easy.

 

[cheeseburger90210]

I'm curious, do you not understand why not respecting other people's wishes is bad or do you just not care?

Do I care? No. there is nothing I could ever do about it.
* I do not care that 75 perecnt of the internet is under 15 years of age.
* I do not care that most adults give their children phones between the ages of 8 and 10 as a babysitter.
* I do not care that 80 percent of Wechat and other QQ apps are under 15 years old age.
* A large amount of tiktok is under aged dancers.
* Most of this new generation has grown up living off the internet. the internet is a toy. (roblox for example and minecraft and fortnite are mostly kids)

 

[Cogwork]

Do I care? No. there is nothing I could ever do about it.

I mean, you could stop telling people to disregard others boundaries.

* I do not care that 75 perecnt of the internet is under 15 years of age.
* I do not care that most adults give their children phones between the ages of 8 and 10 as a babysitter.
* I do not care that 80 percent of Wechat and other QQ apps are under 15 years old age.
* A large amount of tiktok is under aged dancers.
* Most of this new generation has grown up living off the internet.

Great. Sounds like they won't have a problem finding other people under 18 willing to rp with them then.

 

[GojiBean]

Greetings everyone.

The argument within this thread has gone on long enough, and it has now been locked to further replies.

The issue of age as a personal preference has long since been settled and set in stone within this space: Users are allowed to make an age requirement for joining their RP's.

End of story.

Lying about your age to bypass someone's preferences is disrespectful, dishonest, irresponsible, and potentially dangerous.

Please respect the preferences, comfort, and security of your fellow role-players at all times as that's what helps to make this space a safer and more welcoming environment for everyone.

If you find there's an RP with a premise you really like and want to join, but you're outside the age requirement, you can always contact the GM directly and ask if they're willing to make an exception for you (and provide some good reasons why you think they should make the exception). If they say "no," please accept that decision and leave it alone. You can always find another RP to join that's similar, make that exact kind of RP yourself and run it your way, or ask someone else you know and have RP'd with before if they'd be interested in creating that same kind of RP for you to enjoy together.

Thank you.