Viewpoint What's the scariest part about finding roleplay partners?

I wouldn't say "scary" but something that is definitely hard is coming up with a plot, characters and all that stuff and then having that person ghost you. And then going through all of that again with a new person in hopes it won't end the same way.
Yeah, I’ve just started using this site and it’s already happened once. It’s very disheartening to say the least.
For me it’s not making a connection. I alway want to have a connection with my partners, we don’t have to be friends but I love to chat OOC with them and get familiar. I feel like it’s just easier to bounce off them too when writing.
Post length expectation. I always see others put out multi-paragraph posts like it’s nothing, when I can only do about 1-2 paragraphs. Very intimidating, and makes me feel like I’m not putting in as much effort as I could, even though I am.

Second, similar to Goji, is when I finally put in the courage to make an intrest check, I alway worry if my idea is just dumb, or half-baked, or if it will just die before it even starts.

I only really stop being scared of an RP when I've been writing with a partner for months.

It took me months to find the courage to post an interest check. I have issues accepting that I enjoy dark RPs, and was scared that I wouldn't find anyone who enjoyed the same type of dark as I do.

Then, when I did finally post an interest check and started getting messages from interested partners, there was the fear about whether they'd ghost me, or, even scarier, whether I'd feel we weren't a good match and have to drop out. This might be the scariest part for me - communicating with a partner when I'm just not enjoying it. I don't want to be the kinda partner that ghosts others. Knowing that I'm going to have to communicate my desire to leave makes me feel so anxious . I usually feel awful about it weeks after I've left an RP.

When I'm lucky enough to find a partner that I enjoy writing with, then the insecurity hits. I'm scared I'm not good enough. I'm scared I let them down. I'm scared they think my ideas are stupid or boring. Since I love dark RPs, I'm inevitably going to write dark things, and I get very, very scared that even though I've discussed triggers with my partner beforehand, I'm going to trigger them or make them uncomfortable.

Sometimes I wonder how on earth I manage to stick with this hobby. But I do, because the rewards are worth it. When I'm not terrified for one reason or another, I feel nothing but joy and gratitude for my partner and the RP we've made together.
Group role plays getting toxic. I was still a fledgling role player when it happened, and i didnt know what to do. I thought it was their way of messing around, and while everyone was hating each other and taking sides, i realized it a tad bit too late. I was really sad to see our little friend group get destroyed by one person.
+ 1 to the drama. Had two situations that escalated into stalker-like behavior with past partners, and just cut off one of my partners of 16 years because I just got fed up with being treated like gum on the bottom of her shoe when I was going through the worst period of my life.

This is my first time coming back to look for an RP partner since probably 2018 or so, maybe ... Not really sure where to even start anymore; I tried hopping in a few Discord servers, but as soon as someone starts talking to me, I just feel so disconnected because I keep getting hit up by 19 year olds barely cutting their teeth on adulthood and I'm over here, an ancient old turtle, at 33 ... like. Man, I've been RPing for almost longer than you've been alive ... sobs.

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