TotallySnowy
Snowy ☆彡
To the me who cried in the bathroom, head banging against cold concrete,
To the me stuck in an endless loop of opening, closing, god damn it why isn’t it right, what’s wrong with the cracks,
To the me who stayed up until 4 in the morning rewatching the final Sailor Moon episode because “it was the final episode, so everything needs to be perfect, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity,” who despite her tears, her hyperventilation and torturous mind, who powered through it every single fucking night for two years straight,
To the me who has 500+ hours on Animal Crossing:, because for an entire year I couldn’t miss a single event, a single fictional animal’s birthday, and when these events came I would stay up.
Too. Fucking. Late. Satisfying my unbroken yet cracked like a fucking faulty mirror mind. “You have to gift them this in the perfect color.” “You have to run a certain way down this path.”
To the me who spent countless hours crying, screaming at myself for doing things wrong, but having to have both my hands on the right side of the controller or someone would inevitably die, or disappear, or fucking anything.
To the me, who stood on one end of a corridor, in a hotel building visiting Florida, sobbing in the shower because I couldn’t get past a line.
To the me who was terrified of passing a single point, of breathing wrong, of living wrong, because I’d have to do it all over again.
To the me who laid in bed one night, contemplating why I was even alive in the first place. I had no plans, nothing, but the thought was there: would I let the world swallow me up if it ever did?
I reached.
I reached across the endless ebony and breathed.
To the me who still struggles sometimes. I decided against playing any video games this year (other than the ones that bring me happiness, and I’ve put away my Animal Crossing cartridge, probably for good.)
To the me who rediscovered joy, who moved past those who’ve wronged, those I’ve wronged, apologized, and moved past as best I can.
To the me who lives everyday, sharing a similar burden to my peers and yet fighting so very hard everyday to not let these thoughts take over.
To the me living her best life.
To the me with hope for the future.
To all the me’s?
I fucking love you.
To the me stuck in an endless loop of opening, closing, god damn it why isn’t it right, what’s wrong with the cracks,
To the me who stayed up until 4 in the morning rewatching the final Sailor Moon episode because “it was the final episode, so everything needs to be perfect, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity,” who despite her tears, her hyperventilation and torturous mind, who powered through it every single fucking night for two years straight,
To the me who has 500+ hours on Animal Crossing:, because for an entire year I couldn’t miss a single event, a single fictional animal’s birthday, and when these events came I would stay up.
Too. Fucking. Late. Satisfying my unbroken yet cracked like a fucking faulty mirror mind. “You have to gift them this in the perfect color.” “You have to run a certain way down this path.”
To the me who spent countless hours crying, screaming at myself for doing things wrong, but having to have both my hands on the right side of the controller or someone would inevitably die, or disappear, or fucking anything.
To the me, who stood on one end of a corridor, in a hotel building visiting Florida, sobbing in the shower because I couldn’t get past a line.
To the me who was terrified of passing a single point, of breathing wrong, of living wrong, because I’d have to do it all over again.
To the me who laid in bed one night, contemplating why I was even alive in the first place. I had no plans, nothing, but the thought was there: would I let the world swallow me up if it ever did?
I reached.
I reached across the endless ebony and breathed.
To the me who still struggles sometimes. I decided against playing any video games this year (other than the ones that bring me happiness, and I’ve put away my Animal Crossing cartridge, probably for good.)
To the me who rediscovered joy, who moved past those who’ve wronged, those I’ve wronged, apologized, and moved past as best I can.
To the me who lives everyday, sharing a similar burden to my peers and yet fighting so very hard everyday to not let these thoughts take over.
To the me living her best life.
To the me with hope for the future.
To all the me’s?
I fucking love you.
