This Is My Mind Rambling.

[Reiyumi]

If you ever knew what it was like to lose a favorite toy, then I don't doubt that you know how Elga Helmes felt when she lost her teddy bear. There was nothing that anyone could do to bring the teddy bear back. She just couldn't believe that her precious toy had been burnt and left to disintegrate in the ruins of the old home. It had been burned while the young girl had been at school. She remembered the day it had happened. The two older men and a lady who came into her class to tell her that she had to come with them at the end of the day. She shuddered as she remembered all this. It wouldn't due for her to be crying when she went into this interview. She sighed and stood as they called her name. She watched the ground for a moment, then looked up and walked towards the interview, nervous and a bit frightened. Her palms sweated and her hands twitched a little. As she sat down in the chair just inside the room, she could feel the air conditioner's cool air against her face. It wasn't cool enough and she felt engulfed in heat. She closed her eyes and cleared her throat as she waited for the questions to be asked. She opened her eyes and nodded to the interviewer.


"Are you ready?" the interviewer asked.


"I am," she replied, somewhat shakily.

 

[Reiyumi]

What is a family?


A family are the people that care for you. Sometimes we describe a family as the people that share the same blood as us, but that's not all there is to a family. In fact, your blood relationships have nothing to do with who your family is. A family even goes beyond what most understand. In a way, I find that a family is a group of people that you would do anything for. Just the level of caring that they show. I find it remarkable that, even after you have messed up several times in your life; your true family will always be there. They may not take the blame for your actions and they do this so that you can learn how to be a better person, but they will always love you.

 

[Reiyumi]

He sat on the ground, meditating. The air was still and all was peaceful. He sat on a small hill that overlooked two fields, his father's and his. His eyes were closed and his hands rested gently on his crossed legs. His head tilted towards the sun, high in the sky. In the distance, both in front of him and behind him, were mountains. The air held a chill that would have frozen a normal man, but he had been raised here and was used to the brutality of the mountain range. A voice called out to him from the bottom of the hill, he couldn't hear. The voice neared and a old lady walked slowly up the slope. As she neared, it was evident that she had been worn out. He slowly opened his eyes and looked over to her. He smiled faintly and nodded.

 

[Reiyumi]

Music...Is an interesting thing. It affects us in ways that are both hard to explain and easy to explain. It plays with our emotions. Have you ever listened to a sad song when you are happy? Or a happy, feel good song when you are sad? If so, you know what I mean. There is just something about music that makes one feel good or bad. The only thing that can change it, is you choosing the music to listen to. Some don't realize that music isn't about what you like to listen to. The genre of music you like has nothing to do with if you like a song or not. I have discovered that my favorite songs are the ones I can connect to personally. They seem to have the most affect on me. When you find a song that you can connect to, it becomes a song that you love and sometimes can't stop listening to. Music has more of an effect on us than we care to give it credit for. The music you listen to day to day, impacts your mood. Your mood impacts the decisions you make day to day. And those decisions impact the people in your life. This all impacts your life.

 

[Reiyumi]

Amalis walked the length of the castle while she waited for her father to come out of his meeting.


“Princess, would you please stop” a servant asked. Amalis shook her head and went on walking. The servant laughed. She turned around and gave the servant the “death Stare” until he stopped. The servant moved away and she laughed.


“Are you at a loss for words, Matthew?” she asked, anger filling her voice. He swallowed and shook his head. Matthew took his chance and ran down the hall when her back was turned. Amalis finally saw her father emerge from his office. She raced up and hugged him. Her father looked tired. Amalis saw that he wasn’t wearing his crown. Many of the times she had seen her father he was either to busy to notice his daughter or he was doing his royal duties.


“Ah, Amalis, you never cease to amaze me.” The king said adoringly.


Soon after her brothers followed, her mother came around the corner. The look on her mother’s face was accusing. Amalis just stood there and tried to act innocent. Her brothers laughed at her attempt. Her mother was all about being nice to the servants. Her father soon noticed the look her mom was giving her. He sent his wife a questioning look.


“How could you?” her mother asked.


“How could I what, mother?”


“How can you go around scaring the servants?


“I don’t know, I guess its fun”


Her mother left in a huff and her father laughed. Amalis had to go somewhere so she said her goodbyes and went off. When she looked behind her she saw Matthew following her. She turned the corner and stopped. Matthew almost ran into her but he stopped just in time. She turned around and saw Matthew look like he was in trouble. She was used to that look, but not from him. Matthew and Amalis had been best friends for a long time. She didn’t know why but she gave him a hug and apologized.


He smiled and the two of them walked down the hall way together. He knew that before she just was waiting for her dad to actually pay attention to her, his only daughter, but for some reason he was jealous that her dad got more attention than he did. He pushed that aside and thought it was just the old crush he had on her making him jealous. He knew her the best and knew that right then she was going of to see her dragon, Fate, he always went with her when she visited her.


Fate was waiting for them in the courtyard and she was glad to see that Amalis had forgiven Matthew and he had forgiven her. She wanted to tell them something but she wasn’t allowed to speak of it. Whenever she saw Matthew she called him Prince Matthew because of how often he was with the princess. Today though she wished he wasn’t here. It was weird because she usually loved to have him around. She roared and Matthew looked afraid. Matthew made his excuses and left. Amalis looked like she wanted to run after him but she stayed because she sensed that Fate wanted to talk about something very important.


I am sorry I scared him off, thought Fate, but I had to.


No worries, replied Amalis.


I found something that could potentially help the kingdom, Fate said.


 
The wide room was glorious considering the fact that it was falling to pieces. On the other side of the room sat a man. His face was grey and his body slim from malnutrition. The chair he sat in was a deep ebony and a leg was broken off. Where the leg had been was a stack of books holding up the chair. A young servant knocked on the door and waited for her master to respond before she opened the door and walked in. A small grunt could be heard as the girl dropped the heavy plate on the floor. She bent down to pick it up and her skirts touched the dusty floor. The man watched as the girl picked up the plate and ran out of the room. His guest would soon arrive. The girl reappeared to apologize but was brushed off. Soon he heard the sound he had been waiting for, the door bell. He stared out the window while downstairs the girl answered the door. He heard every word of the conversation that followed. He smiled for the first time in months, his nephew had arrived.


A young man walked into the room, hat and overcoat in hand, his expression one of awe and curiosity. He wandered around the room and picked up a book that was resting on an overly dusty table. He wiped the dust off and discovered that he had picked the "Gare's Said" a book that was worth a lot of money. He placed it on the table and turned around. He gasped as he saw the old man sitting in the chair. He had not seen him when he walked into the room. He walked over to him and knelt. The old man smiled and told him to stand. The girl once again rushed into the room and sat the plate down beside the man and bowed slightly. She left the room and all was silent until the old man spoke.


"Garrison , do you know why you have been called here?" the old man questioned.


A meager no was all that Garrison could accomplish for he was in the presence of a king, more specifically the King of Saold.


" You are the only one who can save us" the king said.


" From what?" Garrison questioned.


" The dare-breathers and demons that haunt our people" was the King's response. Garrison looked around for something to hold onto, he found nothing. The king looked at him with a concerned expression. Garrison remembered his first encounter with a dare-breather.


It had not been a happy day to begin with. It had rained earlier that day and it now looked drear and dark. He had run into his friend Carn and had gotten into an argument with him. The dare-breather had looked like another passerby except for his bright red eyes. Garrison would have continued on down the street if not for the strange eyes. His hesitation had given the dare-breather the moment to attack. He had felt like his soul was being taken from him. Aware that people were aware of the attack the dare-breather vanished and Garrison was still alive but very damaged.


"You realize that I am not asking you to do this on your own?" the king questioned. Garrison looked up quizzically and realized what the king meant.


" Who would you have me work with?" He said, irritation flowed in his voice. He knew exactly who the king was referring to, he wanted to be sure though.


"Carn" the king replied sternly. Garrison nodded and asked to be dismissed. The king nodded and Garrison left the room. The girl hurried in and took off her disguise. The girl was truly the king's daughter and his adviser. She looked worried and went to the window. She watched as Garrison vanished under the canopy of leaves.


" Are you sure he is the one?" she asked. The king only nodded and she turned around to see her father had closed his eyes. She knew that no one knew of her existence and that her father had a reason for it. She wanted to know what that reason was. She had a feeling that this secret was best left alone and that it lie with the man, Garrison. She smiled, satisfied that her father was getting some rest, and left the room. She had no idea that her father might never wake up again. She had plans to make and someone to track down.


Garrison walked down the lonely street in the growing dark. He could hear the drunken roars and dull thuds that came from the tavern across the street. The dull thuds were people falling off of the tables, the cause was their drunkenness. Garrison had a different destination then the drunks. He entered a small shop on his side of the road. There were no windows and only a single candle glowed in the abyss of darkness. He went up the barely visible counter and stood. Soon enough a man came out from behind the curtain. He had no name that anyone knew, he was simply, The Trader, to everyone. He came to stand in front of Garrison. When The Trader saw who was in his shop he gave a hearty laugh.


"Didn't expect to see you anytime soon" The Trader uttered.


" I needed to see you and I missed Reos," Garrison hinted.


The Trader got the hint and walked to the back to get the purchase Garrison had left the last time he was in Reos. The Trader came back with a slender bow and a sheath of arrows. He laid them on the counter and went back behind the curtain to grab a small dagger. Garrison looked at the dagger with a confused look.


" I heard about the mission the king gave you" The Trader said simply, as if it were apparent what the dagger was for. The Trader had always been close to the king.


" How?" Garrison asked. The Trader held up a piece of parchment that had Garrison's picture and name on it. Garrison nodded and took everything that The Trader had given him. He walked out the shop. A girl with a black hooded cloak was walking down the road. Garrison was trying to get the stuff in his pack so he hadn't seen her. He only noticed her when it was too late. They crashed into each other, both of them falling to the ground. Her hood had been up, but it now fell down to reveal the servant girl at the mansion castle. Garrison looked over at her, he saw who it was and was stunned that she was in the town. He stood up and held out a hand to help her up. Her father and Garrison were the only ones that knew her true identity. She took his hand while an involuntarily blush filled her cheeks with a bright red heat. A man stood in the shadows waiting for just the right moment.


" Ah, Garrison, have you taken to embarrassing young maidens?" a gruff voice said. Garrison spun around and beheld the man in the shadows. A smile lit up his face.He recognized his friend Carn.


" It was an accident, my good friend" he replied with a laugh. He turned to the girl and saw that her hood was up again.He turned to his friend and asked about the events going on. After a while the two turned their attention to the girl.


" Why are you out of the castle?" they asked.


The girl didn't respond, instead she ran off in the direction of the castle.


The princess stopped, her breathing labored, after running. The castle was a two days journey back and she was sure that her father had noticed her absence, but she wasn't going. If she went back she would have to tell her father why she had run off.


She didn't hear the footsteps behind her, she was lost in thought. She was in a forest and lost. A branch snapped, her head shoot up. She turned around and saw the outline of a man. She took a step back and stumbled to the ground. Her pale blue eyes shone in the moonlight, she was afraid.


" You know, last time I checked maids didn't come to the forest, but you aren't a maid, are you?" a voice said.


She shook her head, too afraid to speak. The trees were imposing and daring. The whole place was spooky.


" I am Garrison, your father told me about you" the voice said. The outline of the man offered a hand. She gratefully took it. As she got up she could see Garrison better. His dark brown eyes and chiseled features were handsome and kind. Her cheeks heated up and she let go of his hand.


" Who am I?" she asked him.


" No one knows, your name doesn't define you, neither does you title" he replied.


" Then, what does? My father? The country?"


" No, you do. Your father kept your identity a secret, but we both know that people will find out"


" I want to come"


" It's too dangerous for you, Princess"


" I don't care, I will come"


He sighed, she hadn't given him much of a choice. He walked out of the forest. She ran after him, his pace hasty and hers graceful, but not hasty.


Garrison and the princess walked through the woods. Every second they were in the woods the princess' fear rose and her breath shortened. Her blue eyes flitted, never resting, around her surroundings. Afraid of what might be out there her arms encircled one of Garrison's. Her feet hurt and her shoes, worn from running, were gone. She shivered, her cloak providing little shelter from the invading cold.


Garrison looked down at the young girl. He figured her to be about 17 years of age. This girl is not suited for a harsh life, he thought. He looked ahead, the girl forgotten.


The forest path had grown smaller, only allowing one person through the worn path at a time. The trees had lost the life that they had once had in the beginning of the forest.Trees lain on their beat up sides. The rocks had jagged points, making them look forbidden. From dead leafless tree branches hung vines. The princess even more frightened then before clung with both arms to Garrison's. He looked down at her and smiled to reassure her that they were safe. Her black gown swept the forest floor. She picked up the hem in hopes of keeping the dress clean. Garrison chuckled, the noise so sudden that it startled the princess.


The path continued to narrow and wind, becoming difficult for even a lone traveler. It seemed to the princess that the trail would soon disappear and they would be lost. Garrison simply pushed on. Soon there was a break in the trees. It remained unseen to the princess, but even in the brutal dark Garrison could see it. He quickly and roughly grabbed the princess' hand and pulled her to the opening. They stepped through into a grove at the center of the woods. They arrived.

 

[Reiyumi]

Even the going down of the sun was not enough to settle the young girl.under the rough sheets of the bed. Who could blame the young one for not wanting to be in between two rough sheets. The sheets were wool and made for warmth rather than comfort. They were a dull sandy brown and stuck to her skin in the hot weather.

 

[Reiyumi]

Who are we?


Sometimes, we don't even know the answer to this question and sometimes we don't want to know. We like to say that we know who we are, but in a sense, we really have no clue. This is especially true with most teens. Have you ever looked back and said, "Wow, that was a dumb move. Why did I do that?" Maybe, this is your way of trying to figure out who you are. Every day is different, even if they seem the same after a while. I may not know WHO I am, but I do know WHAT I am. I have never claimed to be good at anything and I never will. It is not within me to do so. I am what I am. There are no roads that lead me to what I am and what I am will help me to discover who I am. I am a young girl, trying to figure out life and learning to deal with the fact that not everything is known. My name? It's just that, a name. From my experience, it is not your name that defines you. When I think of lives that have passed and the names associated with them, I see almost nothing that is the same. They are two utterly different things. This is how we begin to explain what we know of both life and of who we are. If the world stops turning and all hope is lost, do not give up. No matter what, do not lose your hope.


These are the thoughts that swirl through my mind as I sit in an old rickety car on the way to some desolate Nevada vacation. I've never been, but I don't believe that I will enjoy it. My previous vacations have always been to foreign countries, anywhere that was an almost paradise. They were never filled with gambling and my parents typically tried to avoid that sort of stuff, but my parents were not here. In fact, the people who are my age. We are or rather were, high school seniors. At Graduation, we said goodbye to our parents and left. We didn't really have a choice in the matter. This wasn't what you would call a "senior trip," it was more of a death trap and there was nothing we could do to get out of it.


You see, in our society...we have laws and we follow them or face the consequences. They were never nice consequences. It wouldn't matter if anyone else saw it though. Everyone loved the society and they loved that they were forced to do ridiculous things for being 18 years old. Who would want to be forced to be married and have a child, preferably female, at the age of eighteen? Then, you are forced into a career that is basically about as far from what you are used to and be expected to do it well. Is it tragic? I think so. Is it insane? Again, I think so. The other thing is that you are married to someone you have never spoken to and have no clue who they are. You don't get to make the choice of who you marry. Oh no, that's the government's job. They pick who is your best match or, in my case, who can control you best. They say it is their job because we cannot make decisions at our age. Who am I to judge though? I've always been considered different though. Bad, rebel, destroyer...an outcast who should be ignored because I go against everything they view as right.


"Terrance, snap out of it. You cannot afford to think like that. This is the way it has always been. You might as well start acting like you at least enjoy it."


I jump and stare at the guy who had said that. My name, and he is the one that knows me best. He knows how I feel and he shares the same feelings. Why can't I marry him? I can't. I never could, the government would not allow it. Free Thinkers, what we are known as, are viewed as dangerous and need to be controlled. They were not allowed to be married. I would be married to a... "Qual." A Qual is someone that fits right into the society and can supposedly control Free Thinkers. Quals are made out to be the good guys and the ones that help us become more like what we should be.


"I can't when I don't truly enjoy it. I don't want this. You may want to be like them, but...I don't. It's ridiculous."

 

[Reiyumi]

He stares at me for a moment, then shakes his head and sighs. I know what he's thinking...or at least, I think I do. He's thinking that I don't get it. I don't understand why I have to conform to what everyone else wants me to be. That...there's only one way to not be considered dangerous and that if we don't follow through with what we are supposed to do, then what do we do? If they outcasted us for being rebels, there would be more that would rebel and take a stand. That's not the case though. Suddenly, I know that these thoughts are what I am thinking that he is thinking. I start to wonder if I actually know him or do I know the him that the society wants him to be?


"Terrance, we aren't supposed to be like this. We're supposed to be like them and be happy. Why can't you see that this is a good thing."


Wait...what did he say? Have they brainwashed him? My heart falls as I realize that I may have never really known the guy I had called my best friend. He believes that everything that is happening is for his own good? I feel like crying. I'm alone and I thought I had at least one person who understood how I felt about the problem. That would...that would, I think. I can't finish the thought before hot tears slip down my face. I turn away, not wanting him to see how vulnerable I am. Not wanting him to know that...I thought he had betrayed me and everything that he once believed. Had he been playing with me to get to my mind and make me feel better about the society? My arms shake and I stare at the ground. In our society....rebels are killed. They are killed in painful ways that no one has heard of. Is he just trying to save my life? No. I shove the thought away and know that he has been consumed by the society.


"You know why I can't, Jase." I mumble.

 

[Reiyumi]

Jase continues to stare at me. His eyes seem to stab through mine and into my soul. I think it's at that moment when I realise that he isn't a Free Thinker anymore. What happened? What is he now? Whatever it is, it's not my friend. I don't know him anymore and I wonder if I ever did. Was everything a lie? I thought...I thought he understood. Now I don't know what to believe. The car turns south and I stare at the passing land. It's almost nightfall and we are nowhere close to our destination. The silence grows and it presses on me. The ceiling is pressing down on me and I can't breathe. I know what I must do. Without a second thought, my hands fumble for the door handle. I pull on it and nothing happens. I tear at it and gasp in an attempt to get air. I reach out, my hands grazing for the lock. I look back only once before finding the lock. My actions happen like a movie on fast forward. I grab at the door handle and pull. I have to force the door open.


"Terrance! Noo!"


It's too late. I push my body to the outside of the car and fall. I scream out in pain as I fall against asphalt. Everything burns and I feel my eyes as though they are the doors of some dark closet. My hands a wet and sticky. Is that blood? In the distance, I can hear the screeching of brakes. I can't think. Soon, I go blank. No thoughts, not a thing. I already know that my plan hadn't worked. I had not escaped. Even though I am unconscious, I know there are trays running down my cheeks.


 
Nothing good ever comes from being unconscious. There's nothing good about falling through complete darkness and knowing that no one can save you. Even if you know that it's not real, you still fear it. It's a sinkhole and it pulls you into its reach and embraces you. It's not a nice embrace that comforts you, it's a tight and choking hold that leaves you gasping for air. The worst part is...you can't win. You can fight, but no matter how much you try, you will not win.


I can hear voices, but they're a buzz. I can't hear what the voices are saying. I don't know whose voices they are. Where am I? What happened? Who am I? What am I doing here? Why won't my eyes open? I try to force my eyes open, but it's as though someone glued my eyelids together. I try to move my arms, only to find them restrained.


"Terrance, I'm so sorry. So very sorry. They would have killed me if I hadn't brought you here."


That voice...I know it. I can't place it. I jerk to sit up and my eyes snap open. I look around and...then, I see him. The boy who I couldn't stay mad at, my best friend. Someone I would never tell that just his presence was enough to make me feel safe. I look away, already feeling the tears that are about to spill onto my face. He was the one who betrayed me and I no longer feel safe around him.


"Get out, Jase."

 

[Reiyumi]

He did it to save himself and no one else. I'm hurt. Deeply hurt. I have never cried more in my life. I can feel his stare. He doesn't budge, just stares. It's as if his feet are stuck to the floor. I can't see him, I've turned away from him. I know he is there though and that he hasn't moved. I stare at the wall. It only occurs to me that even though he has betrayed me and everything, there is nothing he can do now to help me. I wonder, in some part of my mind, if he regrets doing it. I doubt it. To me, he has become a beast or a creature. Something that wasn't my friend. Why won't he leave though? What does he think he is doing to help? I wish he would just leave. It hurts for him to be close.


I attempt to stand and end up stumbling into him. I refuse to look at him as I feel his arms wrap around me to help steady me. My face is blazing, but it's from embarrassment and not because I am in close quarters with Jase. He groans and shakes his head. I look up at him. There were times that I wished I was at least his height and now is one of them. I close my eyes. I know that he betrayed me and everything, but... I'm not willing to give up something like what our friendship. Hesitantly, I wrap my arms around him and hug back. I sigh and I feel him sigh too.


"Why can't I stay mad at you?" I grumble. I feel his laughter before I hear and hold back a laugh. Something will never be the same about our friendship and I don't know if I can trust him, but..I'll risk it for now. In the next few weeks, I know that I will need the strength and help through whatever it is they do to prepare us for what was to come. We get to make none of the choices and I still think it's wrong. I will fight it. They cannot force me to work in a field that I have no experience in or marry someone I have no clue if I can love.


As we walk out of the room, I can feel my heart racing. What was to come? I will only find out tomorrow and that is what scares me the most, not knowing. I wanted to know what to expect so that I could prepare for it. I can already tell that nothing will ever be the same.


I freeze as I remember the room that we came from. There were no windows and the walls were white-washed. The only thing in it were metal and shiny. What was that room? Did they do something to me in there? I realize, perhaps from the clatter of feet and echoes, that we are in an underground compound. The question is...where is here?

 

[Reiyumi]

When we step out of the hallway, the first thing I notice, is the openness of the room that expands in front of my eyes. It's huge. The walls seem to go up forever. I gasp and take a slow, hesitant step forward. It's marvelous, but it gives off a feeling that something terrible happens here. I shudder and take a step back. As I step back, I bump into Jase. He stands completely still. His eyes are glazed over and he doesn't seem to be here. I stare at him for a moment, confused. What's going on? Is he remembering something? What would he be remembering? Wait...how would he be remembering something? He hasn't been here before. This is when I remember. They insist that a female child is born first. Oh, his older sister. I lower my head and remember the story he told me about her. How she had died for refusing to be married. They killed her. She was like me. Maybe he really was trying to protect me. I can tell by the strangled moan that he makes that he is crying. I look back at him and hug him tightly. He hugs back and cries into my shoulder. I may never be allowed to love him, but I can still be his friend. At least, until tomorrow.


"Please, Terrance, be safe. I don't want you to die." he mumbles. I close my eyes and hug him tighter. He runs a hand through my black hair and his hand rests near the small of my back. I shiver, but ignore it. I knew that, that was reserved for someone else. Even if I was able to marry him, I couldn't do it. I sigh and nod. This may be the last time that I get to see my friend. I pull away from him and turn away. On one side of the room are the males and on the other are the females. I stand in between them. For the next two weeks, we will be divided as they do multiple personality tests and IQ tests. I wonder where I will be ranked and who I will be married to, in the end of all of it. I look over to the males and spot one with brown hair and blue eyes. I tilt my head and watch him. I wonder if I'll end up with him. Probably not, but...from what I can tell, he is attractive. Something in me wants him. I want him to be mine, but...I don't even know him. I sigh and look back to the front of the group. Don't get your hopes up or anything. Stop it. You are starting to sound like them. I think. I shake my head and look ahead.


"Look who's here. It's a Free Thinker." a girl to my left says. Is it stamped to my forehead? No. It's supposed to be an insult and it's meant to hurt, but...instead it gives me strength. I smirk and turn towards her. My hands ball up into fists and I watch her.


"Yeah, well, at least I can think for myself. Unlike you, Qual"

 

[Reiyumi]

The Qual tenses and stares at me. She doesn't know what to think and I can tell. I roll my eyes and look away. At the front of the room a lady walks up the side of a stage. I watch her, or well...her feet. I don't like her. My instincts tell me that she isn't as she appears to be. I don't like what is about to happen, I already know that much. I thought I could never hate the government more than I already did. This isn't fair. It never was. I don't know what to do, but...I want out. The woman taps on the mic and everyone looks towards her. I continue to watch her feet as she clears her throat.

 

[Reiyumi]

He had no other way to keep her in his arms. The only way was to remember the feeling and to remember everything good she had been for him. He didn't want to let go of the fact that she was dead. He couldn't bare the thought.


In the end, it never mattered how cold her skin had been. The thing that never changed was that it was cold. It had no heat and her eyes showed no signs of life. It would destroy him. He thought that anyways. Nothing could hurt worse than that though. There is nothing that could warm his now cold heart. She had been everything to him. The deepest parts of him longed for her. At least in life, he had known that she was his.


It was hard to believe that life had passed her by and had been so thoughtless. He felt like he was caving in. There was a part of him that was gone. He couldn't recover it. He thought that all was lost. She had been so full of energy and had been the one that could tell him that he was wrong. She had been the one to guide him from what he had been to what he was. She had been his everything. He had never learned to love until he had met her. He had to admit that he had learned so much from her. There had been things he had only thought he knew before her. He had thought he knew what love was. He couldn't have been more wrong. She had taught him to believe and to move forwards.


How he could just forget her like she had been an illusion? He couldn't do that. She had been important to him and he wanted to protect her. Even in death, he knew he had no other way to keep her in his arms. The only way was to remember the feeling and to remember everything good she had been for him. He didn't want to let go of the fact that she was dead. He couldn't bare the thought.

 

[Reiyumi]

True pain. The terror of the act. He had known the temple would be dangerous, but had gone anyways. What was there to be scared of? After all, at the time he had agreed to this escapade it had sounded great. To risk losing everything for adventure. Oh, it sounded marvelous. Thoughts of adrenaline heated moments and a sense of danger thrilled him. There was no better feeling. It was being alive. He could feel his heart in his ears though as he stepped over a puddle of some grayish sludge. He shuddered to to think of what could possibly be. His stomach clenched and his fingers tightened around his only source of light as he trudged even further along the dark path. There was no turning back. The silence nagged at him. It was too silent, too peaceful.

 

[Reiyumi]

If only she had stayed by his side. If only she had grabbed his arm. Maybe she wouldn't have fallen. Maybe she would still be alive. How was he to know what would have saved her? He only knew of her pitiful scream and the way it echoed throughout the cave. The lasting ring would not leave his ears alone, long after it had fallen silent inside the hole. Questions raced forwards.How old had she been? What was her name? Who had she been? Was it quick? There was no way to tell any of that. Later, a clean up crew would come out and clean. What would they do when they found the body? He didn't know.


The group behind him was terrified. He had to get them out of this death trap. That had to be his main goal

 

[Reiyumi]

When the light hits, everything glimmers. Hope doesn't dangle by a thread, but is shown through every chandlier. Joy doesn't stay shallow, but is deep and bubbling. Truth rains from the ceiling in flickers of gold sparkles.

 

[Reiyumi]

She looks out the window of her classroom. Inside the school the calm people are chatting in the background as she writes.Outside, the wind howls blowing the leaves of a nearby tree around. Rain clouds glide slowly over the sky. Everyone is typing, except for her. Why isn’t she typing you ask? Well, she isn’t typing because her computer died the first fifteen minutes into the class. She sit in the back of the class, her computer opened with a blank screen. She twirls her hair, wondering what to write next. Finally,she picks her pencil back up and writes something down. She looks out the window again. She writes down what she sees and again looks out the window. She starts to wonder why she is writing down what is happening. She realizes that this moment is just that, a moment. She waits, wishing for the day to be over. She knows that there is a while until she can go home. She imagines that the rest of her day will be harder without her computer. Her next teacher won’t yell at her for not having a charged computer for her class is a computer lab. Her English teacher may or may not care seeing as they don’t usually use it in that class. She sits, waiting for lunch. She may eat her packed lunch and listen to her music.