• This section is for roleplays only.
    ALL interest checks/recruiting threads must go in the Recruit Here section.

    Please remember to credit artists when using works not your own.

Realistic or Modern The Mary Sue Slayer

Eezumi-san

A Traveler from the land of Zumis
"Hey."


It was cold. The frozen air stung and bit at your skin. Your body shuddered from the harsh chills of the atmosphere. You wrapped your arms around yourself, but it was useless against the dropping temperature. Your teeth clattered along with your bones, small puffs of air blew out of your mouth before they disappeared into the cold. Where were you? How did you get here?


Surrounding you were white topped pine trees and everything else was snow, snow, snow. You looked behind you, wondering if you got here on foot but somehow forgot; there were no foot prints. There were also no snowflakes falling, so the snow didn't cover your tracks. That meant, you never walked here. Did you fly? You are human, of course you can't fly. Besides, you couldn't just pop out of nowhere, right?


"Hey!"


You quickly swung your head to where the voice belonged to and paused. It was a tiny talking turtle, perched on a branch. Blinking in surprise, you leaned closer to inspect the little reptile. Were you dreaming?! Did this turtle actually talk? How can this turtle even survive this winter place?! Wait, was it sitting on a tree?! As many doubts and questions jammed your thoughts, the turtle cleared it's throat and stared bluntly at the gaping giant.


"Hey, human. Are you cold?"


You frowned at the obvious observing tiny reptile. Of course! You were freezing into a popsicle! You opened your mouth to speak, but it seemed that you were indeed too chilled to speak, after all, you were becoming an ice block. All that came from your mouth was the small puff of your breath. The turtle chuckled, shaking his head.


"Hehe. I'm just kidding, of course you're cold! You don't even have enough fur to cover your body! Here, take this fuzzy skin shirt that's blending in with this tree trunk!"


The reptile pointed it's smooth green head south, to where the tree's rough trunk was. Next to it, was a warm looking, chocolate fur jacket, some snow sticking onto the sleeves. You, desperate to feel the warmth against your skin, hastily grabbed the jacket and slipped on. You sighed as your body was beginning to regulate it's temperature and that the freezing torture was gone.


"So, what's your name? Also, are you a boy or a girl? I'm not an expert on human gender, you see..."


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


1) Insert any name of your choice I will use a dice to determine the name :)


2)Boy or Girl?
 
Male


Logan McRogan or Rogan McLogan.


If I can ask things or browse over my memories, I ask the guy where the hell I am, and/or review everything I have available in my brain.
 
"Rogan.. Rogan McLogan.." You croaked out before burying your numb fingers into the jacket pockets. It was a strange name for an average person like you, but hey, it's your parents' fault for that decision. Weirdly, it somehow suited you. "A-And I'm a male... Obviously?" The thin cold air bit at your nose as the tiny turtle seemed like he was trying to process this information. The small reptile nodded it's green head, confirming your answer. 


"Nice to meetcha, Rogan! I'm Tutu! The green turtle!" Tutu gleamed at your face, a cute smile already pasted on his tiny face. "I betcha you're wondering how you got here? You want to know, yeah?" 


You nodded frantically, waiting for a good explanation of all this. Were you some kind of chosen hero being teleported to a situation in need of saving? Did a portal send you? Did you have hidden teleportation powers that you unlocked somehow? You couldn't wait to hear the story. Tutu smacked his lips before answering with a broad smile,


"I don't know!"


You were about to strangle this little piece of-- "But I do know that it's dangerous out here! So you need me, human!"  


"Of course it's dangerous out here! You can freeze to death! Seriously--"


"Hushhhhhh!!!! I mean that it's people dangerous, human! Not environmental! Gosh, what do you think I am? A stupid obvious observing turtle? You think so lowly of me! Yeesh, and I was trying to help you too!" 


"What? No you--"


"Nope! Just hush! Listen to me! LISTEN!!! You're in danger. Did you know that the Mary Sues have taken over this dimension?  Hehe nope! You didn't know! Well now you do! And wanna know something else? Because they're Mary Sues, everyone loves them. I mean EVERYONE. The queen, the kingdom, all the villagers... Everyone except someone like me and you! When I heard that you were here, I came to find you! Since you are immune to their Sue-ness, I figured that if I had you go and defeat them.."


You were confused to the max. Everything that was absorbed inside your mind came out with questions and 'the fudge?' Mary Sues? Taking over the world? How did that happen? It sounded so stupid and fictional.. Like one of those creative novels in the library. The thing is though, the turtle sounded desperate. "Wait. Wait. So-" 


"Oh gosh, LET ME FINISH!!! You are going to help me defeat them and I will help you! When your job is finished, I can help you find a way to your human home! Friends are friends! Eye for an eye! What d'ya say?"


"You said I was in danger?..."


"Oh yeah! There's a Mary Sue that lives around here... Oh... And she's walking towards you!" 


~~~~~~~~~~~


1) Hide


2) Face the Sue


3) Panic


4) Scream at Tutu
 
We hide, and question ourselves why the hell we think Rogan is our name. That's really stupid now that we think about it.


Why are we saying 'we'?


If we can still hide while observing the area, we look at the Mary Sue as they approach.
 
2) Face the Sue


Ask it what it wants, and be prepared to punch the fucker in the face.


Mary sue's are weak to attacks that aren't announced by the attacker screaming its name out like a retard.
 
@Windsock


Thanks. I take it upon myself to deconstruct and rip apart Mary Sues, bullshit overpowered magical science fiction technology, and fantasy.
 
2) Face the Sue


Ask it what it wants, and be prepared to punch the fucker in the face.


Mary sue's are weak to attacks that aren't announced by the attacker screaming its name out like a retard.

Riiight, I agreed because it's funny.
 
You crawl out of your hiding place, the cold wind whipping your face. Your head turns to Tutu the turtle. "Where now?" you choke out.


"I have no idea! But maybe we should do something about your name. That would make it a lot easier on all of us! Actually, maybe we should ask that girl over there to change your name. Or do something about those giant spiders-"


"GIANT SPIDERS?"


You scream and run, not caring about where you're going. Then, you end up in Castletown. Where do you go from here?


A) No idea.


B) No idea.


C) The village, maybe?


D) Commit suicide.
 
You crawl out of your hiding place, the cold wind whipping your face. Your head turns to Tutu the turtle. "Where now?" you choke out.


"I have no idea! But maybe we should do something about your name. That would make it a lot easier on all of us! Actually, maybe we should ask that girl over there to change your name. Or do something about those giant spiders-"


"GIANT SPIDERS?"


You scream and run, not caring about where you're going. Then, you end up in Castletown. Where do you go from here?


A) No idea.


B) No idea.


C) The village, maybe?


D) Commit suicide.

That's not how it works. @Eezumi-san made the thread, that means they're the boss, and they write the story.


If you're just trying to troll it's usually best to make it less obvious too.
 
You crawl out of your hiding place, the cold wind whipping your face. Your head turns to Tutu the turtle. "Where now?" you choke out.


"I have no idea! But maybe we should do something about your name. That would make it a lot easier on all of us! Actually, maybe we should ask that girl over there to change your name. Or do something about those giant spiders-"


"GIANT SPIDERS?"


You scream and run, not caring about where you're going. Then, you end up in Castletown. Where do you go from here?


A) No idea.


B) No idea.


C) The village, maybe?


D) Commit suicide.

Wow. It's been almost a day and I already have a small parody of my story! Anyways, don't do it again.... I know you're just trolling, having some fun, but I'm just warning ya!~ Plus you can get in trouble for God modding someone else's Roleplay. So please don't do it again.You ain't the God of this roleplay, I am
 
Last edited by a moderator:
(I flipped a coin for the answers and the result was: 1) Hide)


1) Hide


You dove into the nearest tree as fast as possible, the snow flying off your heels. Tutu hung onto his bobbing branch as you settled your body next the trunk. The fur jacket camouflaged with the rough bark and if you just piled enough snow over your legs, you would become one with the background. And so you frantically covered your bottom half and pulled the hood over your head. Leaning your face closer towards the tree, you heard the crunching of snow being heard. It was in such a perfect pattern, it was as if a band of marching soldiers transformed into one perfect fusion. 


"Oh. Oh. OH... Here she comes..", Whispered the too loud reptile. You waited for the character to pass by so you could be done with your hiding, since your legs felt dead and cold now. The snow was still biting your flesh, so it wasn't entirely dead. Yet? Instead of passing by, the footsteps stopped.


"Ah! Shippy-Crows! She's so very near usssss!!!" The turtle whisper-screamed.


A pair of icy blue eyes stared into the snowy forest. They held their gaze until they were sure everything was okay. There was a dent in the fresh snow. Silver locks of beautiful soft hair breezed with the wind. The flawless figure who owned the too perfect appearance sighed. She blinked twice before restarting her march in the snow, thinking about how lovely this day was. It was probably just an animal fooling around. She wore a light sleeveless dress, matched with glistening dark chestnut boots. Isn't she cold? She is an ice princess, of course she is immune to the weather. The Mary Sue continued her path down the snowy forest, walking with fragile grace.


So this was a Mary Sue? How.. Very.. Perfect they are..


You:


1) Follow Her


2) Throw something at her


3) Call her out


4) Stay where you are


5) Write in your answer
 
4) Stay where you are.


When she's out of sight, we should continue our conversation while looking for a cave or something to rest in.
 
4) Stay where you are


You chose to hang in your spot until you felt that it was safe to leave. Your legs began to feel many ants crawling under your skin and you finally moved, shifting your self in a different position to stop your legs from falling asleep. Tutu the turtle, who matched the trees' green color, turned around to face you and sighed. 


"Wow. That was a close one! You owe me now because I just saved your butt!"


You cringed at the reptile. "You nearly had us caught with your 'whispering' earlier..." Tutu tried to shrug. Standing up, you brushed the snow off of yourself and picked up the turtle, placing him as gently as you could onto your palm. Strange. This little guy was warm. Warmer than your clammy, numb hands. Weren't reptiles cold blooded?


"Hey! Whatcha doing?! Don't touch me! Your skin feels like an icicle!" The turtle wriggled around in your hand. It was cute how he was the size of your palm, though you didn't admit it. You made sure there was no one else that was passing by. For some reason you trusted the turtle's judgement of how it was dangerous here.


"So, Tutu. You have any suggestions on where to go? Like you said, my skin is as cold as ice and it's dangerous here. I need somewhere safe to warm up. And then we can talk."


Tutu stopped trying to struggle and cocked his head to the side. You followed him. He smacked his tiny little lips and stomped his mini feet before replying, "You really want to help me?"


"Um, I didn't say--"


"Just follow the Mary Sue's footprints into town. Don't worry, the citizens won't notice that you're different. Just act like you love that dangerous perfect female dog and you'll blend right in! Here I have some recommendations on where it'll be safe to talk at..."


1) Belly Jingle's Bar


2) The Inn of Inns


3) The Sewers (A cafe)


4) Cozy Cover Cove (An abandoned mattress factory)


5) Write in any ideas
 
Let's set up at 4) Cozy Cover Cove.


Let's set up a plan, and if possible, use it as a hideout. We could make it a secret base depending on its location and how active it is.
 
4) Cozy Cover Cove


"Ah, smart choice! Alrighty, let's get going then!" The reptile used his head to point at the footprints left behind by the Mary Sue. He was like a compass, with his head being the arrow that'll help lead them to their destination. "Onward! Go! March!" You rolled your eyes and followed the the prints in the snow, stepping over them and creating your own trail. 


When you reached town, the color of silver and copper greeted your eyes. Silver short buildings were scattered and copper homes were placed in between them. There were hardly any trees except for the ones that bordered the town. You could see a few citizens chatting and doing their businesses and a few children running around. The town would have been dull if it weren't for the copper or silver, but it still looked a bit bland. 


"Cozy Cover Cove is just straight ahead! Place me in your fuzzy shirt's pocket and I'll tell you when we're there!" 


You did as said, and shoved him, gently, into your right pocket. You could feel him wriggling around before poking his bald head out. When you made sure he was ready for directions, you continued walking. There was a variety of nasty, dirty, black slush that covered the copper stone paths in the city. The smell of petroleum filled the air and your regret taking a whiff of it. Children picked up a few slush balls and started throwing it around. Some splattered onto the walls and windows and laughter was heard. "Ew. Don't you humans get sick from touching those disease carrying snowballs?" Tutu cringed at the giggling children and shook his head. "Blegh! We're almost there, just a few more blocks and we'll be fine." 


Something cold splattered onto your neck and you could feel the slush going down your shirt. Behind you giggles were muffled along with "Oohs" and "Whoopsies". The slush felt very uncomfortable down your back, you shook to try and make it fall out. You turned around, trying to find a guilty face of who the heck threw the dirty slush ball, but instead, you found a pair of icy blue eyes, staring into your soul. The Mary Sue. She was about your height, maybe a bit taller, but her perfection made her the average size of a goddess. She tilted her head to the side, there was something odd about you. Odd about your behavior. Her lips formed a smile and she assumed that you were some poor orphan hobo kid who was lost on the streets.


"Hello? Are you lost? Do you need a place to stay? You can stay with me if you'd like?"


 Was this Mary Sue stupid or what? Inviting some stranger to live with her. You awkwardly stared at her, not so sure what to do. You:


1) Run away 


2) Ignore her and continue on


3) Yell at her to go away


4) Tell her that you're not homeless 


5) Write in
 
I say secret option 6) Hazeron's suggestion in the most stealthily rude manner possible. I need time to think one up so lemme edit this post.


Edit:


"Oh, how sweet of you; I know you mean well but I'd rather you didn't. I'm just walking back to my home, you see. Your kindness is equal to your fearlessness. I think I'm running late now, so I'm sorry that I have to walk off. Goodbye, miss."


(Translation: "Oh, how sweet of you; I know you mean well, but fuck off. I'm just walking back home, you see. Your kindness is equal to your foolishness. I've got better things to do, so leave me alone.")


When she walks off stare at Tutu with a 'do you approve?' nod.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
5) Smile and tell her that we're fine and just walking home


"Oh how sweet of you.." You replied with the fakest smile in the world. The Mary Sue seemed to take this fake smile as a real smile, she just assumed you never smiled in a long time and lost how to do it. "I know you mean well but I'd rather you didn't. I'm just walking back to my home, you see. Your kindness is equal to your fearlessness. I think I'm running late now, so I'm sorry that I have to walk off. Goodbye, Miss." You waved awkwardly and quickly headed off, the fake smile dispersing as you walked. Those words had a translation far more negative than what was spouted out.


"Oh, okay then! Have a nice day! I hope we meet again!"


You felt like puking by how dumb these Mary Sues can be. Were they all like this? Tutu peeped out from your pocket and looked back at the Mary Sue, who watched you taking your steps in the slush. She didn't even have the slightest speck of slush on shoes. And there was no sign of her reacting to the cold weather. Not even her breath was shown when she spoke. She seemed too unrealistic. "Yuck. We just ran into a 'Motherly Sue'. Great thinking, human! Phew, the motherly ones think they're so caring and kind to everyone. In reality, their sue power makes everyone love them. It makes me sick." You nodded. There are different types of sues? How many? You looked down at the turtle in your pocket.


"Say, Tutu.. How do you know so much about sues?" 


"Hm? What was that? Oh you spotted the Cozy Cover Cove? I did too! Look let's go inside!"


"Tutu..."


"We found it!~ Yay!... So get the fudge inside...."


"Tutu..."


"Get the #%*& inside!"


You blinked at the rusted silver abandoned factory that loomed over you. No longer did you hear any laughter, but just the sound of the wind whispering. The peeling sign that hung over the doors read: COZY COVER COVE, with the letters being a nasty shade of green. You saw that the windows were boarded up with wood... No, it was cardboard painted to look like wood. Hm. So the owner had a very low budget.


You pushed down on the cardboard that blocked the windows and the board fell easily through. There was no glass in the windows. Just to make sure, you looked and felt around the window's edges before climbing inside. The light from the one open window illuminated a small section of the factory. With the light, you saw many dusty pillows scattered across the room, along with dirty multiple colored blankets and mattresses. You decided to sit down on the one that looked cleanest. You took Tutu out of your pocket and placed him next to you. It was time to talk.


1) Ask a question 
 
Let's do secret option 2): Ask two questions


"So... there are multiple types of sues? Since you implied typings, I'll assume there are multiples of each type.", look around the facility while asking this, see if anyone left anything useful, like a gun, or a pastafarianism bible.


"Any useful weapons or tactics against them you can think of?"


If we can't do two at once just do the first one.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Users who are viewing this thread

Back
Top