Other Social clutz

[DespairBear]

I've never understood how people can join a site and then BAM have all of these friends... maybe its my awkward anti-socialness or whatever but here it is! 


We shall become friends! Yes you reading this! You are now trapped into this and there is no escape >


...ok maybe there is escape but why not have a friendly chat first? How have you overcome your social awkwardness or do you have plenty of friends and have a tip for those of us that don't know what we are doing? Lets talk about it! Tell us some stories or give some advice! 


*doesn't know what else to say....*         ^.^""""

 

[Life.]

Mmmm when I first came onto here I didn't necessarily find friends, it was the total opposite. I would make a remark in the OOC but it was dismissed not purposely but it kind of just floated off. I noticed users who had interesting posts were the ones who were familiar with the people. This correlation makes sense in that either 1) they have been members for this site for a while, 2) they are experienced in roleplaying and just know how to talk to people, or 3) both.


After seeing this I decided to focus on working on my roleplaying skills then eventually socializing with others. Soon after somehow I had the confidence to talk to people. It started out with compliments on character's reactions and whatnot and eventually led to silly jokes then soon enough I found specific individuals who seemed to speak the same language of me (figuratively speaking of course). 


But this was how I built myself to socialize. It can be different for each individual.

 

[Wishfully]

I think I lurked on this site for awhile before I even signed up, and then when I joined I continued to lurk for a solid month before working up the courage to sign up for any roleplays. During my initial lurking month, I did notice a few members that seemed active especially in the RP areas I was interested in or who simply seemed active and friendly, and I sent them private messages just awkwardly saying hello and asking for advice on getting started with the site. Everyone was always nice about it and sometimes offered tips, and though I didn't exactly make solid friendships with any of those people it sort of put me on their radar and gave me a bit of confidence that I would be okay here.


I actually started making friends when I joined group roleplays. I've noticed that members who are already friends on RPN tend to join the same RPs a lot, so if you frequent a certain RP category, you often run into a few of the same people. So I posted in OOC or sent them a PM just kinda saying hey and letting them know I liked their character/writing style, and some of those people turned into frequent group partners who would invite me to join RPs with them, and others turned into 1x1 partners. I think that's still kind of how it works for me, though I'm not as active in groups as of late. So I try to have casual conversations with my 1x1 partners, and a good few of them really like chatting as much as RPing. 


To be totally honest, I have never fully conquered the social awkwardness, and I don't believe I ever will because that's just who I am. I've been here over two years now, and I still get nervous when sending the first message to a potential 1x1 partner or submitting a character to a group RP where I don't know anyone. And heaven forbid I start my own RP—that make me even more nervous! On the other hand, I've met tons of cool people through this site and although many of my friends have come and gone during my time here (meaning I don't actually have a lot of friends here anymore), I'm constantly encouraged by the community atmosphere, and so I have continued to stick around and say hi to people every now and then or join something new. You never know! C:

 

[norway]

Just start writing with people. Remember what you signed up for, which was (likely, not all cases are the same) some sort of creative outlet, find the little bunch or crowd that shares mutual interest, and just toss your coins in. I believe it's shared interest that brings everyone together, though when I say just go for it, I know it's not that easy due to apprehension or, social awkwardness. Just remember that it's one thing in real life, where likely few if anyone is judging you, but online, especially in communities like these, I think everyone's pretty open to individuals. Maybe not ideas or topics, but odds are if you just put a little touch of you in a thread or two, you'll start to become a familiar face. Agree or disagree with someone, like a post, say hi on their wall - it doesn't always work out, mind you, but all you can do is try. 


Me, personally, I've never really been apprehensive when it comes to online things. I jumped right on the mic for Destiny, and just wormed my way around a handful of different social sites until I found a place to stick - after years, I only talk to a handful of people on this site only, but at least there's a bit of a foundation. 


Iiiiii feel like I rambled more than helped you. All I can say is welcome to the community, hit me up if you ever need a hand, and remember that no one joins and instantly has friends unless they know them in real life - a lot of new member greetings die out, just make sure you stick around and you will absolutely find your little corner of RpN soon enough. Best of luck (:

 

[Kazu]

I was extremely shy when I first came here, and I had only one friend who I could call back-up on, which was also the same person who pulled me into this community in the first place, so I will not truly know how lonely it could get joining a website with no one to come talk to with ease.


However, it took me months before I made my first actual solid friendships, which is actually quite recent for me seeing as I joined last October. 


I found that finding status updates where people are open to chatting is an easy route to go. I don't quite remember how it went, but a now good friend of mine who I chat with almost on a daily basis I met through randomly popping up on their status. 


I poked around on some of the roleplays, but I never got enough courage, so to speak, to ask to join one. I was always self-conscious and bashful, fearing that me asking would annoy them. The worst possible thing was facing rejection so I avoided many RPs I could've easily enjoyed if I had had the guts to ask. That, I hope, newbies like you won't have to feel the regret of. 


Like the others have said, PMing someone and just asking around for advice is also a good way to get more well-known. Personal experience though, I never did that since I wasn't comfortable sending in a message to a person I barely knew, nor would I imagine them being comfortable talking to a complete stranger. xD  


I'm probably starting to ramble here and I don't know if this will help you, but you just need to be patient. My friends popped up at an unexpected time now that I think about it. Just random encounters or connections that I happened to feel more at home with. I'm sure in due time, you'll find your own set of people that you feel most happy with too!