So I'm in this script writing class...

[Quiet Is Violent]

And my assignment is to write a monologue that can be used in an audition. I'm not sure which is better because I think they are both very different.... idk.

Spoiler

When the sky is dark and speckled with white, I realize that I can’t think anymore. My mind is not but dark and drab, to listen to me is to listen to nothing forever. I run in circles, cirlces, squares, my mind is gone I think. I can’t think anymore. When I think I realize that thinking is nothing and that life is meaningless. I live for another to live later. If I don’t live than that future person won’t live which means that my death can kill millions in the future. I notice just how important I am. It’s too much pressure, knowing that millions of lives rely on me choosing to live. I can’t think anymore! When I think I think about death! I think about just how non-existant I must be to the rest of the world! I think about how I am just organs, and organs are just cells, and cells are just molecules, and molecules are just elements, and elements are just protons neutrons and electrons. I’m nothing but lifeless but life is lfeless and life is nothing but death and death is nothing but destruction therefore I am destruction! I can’t think anymore! Thinking is stopping to think and stopping to think is wasting time that should be used for doing. I think and think and think and all I know is that I can’t think because when I think I think too much or too little and I think about everything I shouldn’t have done but did and should have done and didn’t. I think about how I’ve failed and how I will never be enough! Why can’t I think about what everyone seems to think about? Why does my head go around and around, circling the end like a shark to a lost sailor. Maybe that’s all I am. Maybe I am a lost sailor. Lost at sea, this sea of sleep, the sleep eternal that will relieve me of my need to think. Think, think, think! This one word tortures me, locks me in my head when I want to tell everyone what I want to say but what I want to say is what I think and I can’t think! Why can’t they understand? Why can they think? Why can’t I think anymore?





Little details often are overlooked. Busy busy busibodies sprinting everywhere. Friends have things to do, what do you need, tell me now! They don’t pay attention. Why don’t they pay attention? There are signs all around. Little things. Barely noticable things. If you pay attention, you won’t miss them. Just the other day, a girl gave another girl a locket, and the recipient said, “But you love this locket!” The giver just shrugged and smiled. I told my counselor. Turns out the giver was going to commit suicide. It’s little things that mean the most. The secret smile, the slightest shift in focus or lack thereof. No one pays attention anymore. Why don’t they pay attention? No one knows that I’m not home, they think I’m in my room. They won’t let me have you. They don’t realize I do. Now don’t look at me like that, you know I’d do anything to have you back. I love you. But they don’t understand that. They don’t realize I pretend to hug you when you’re not around, or that I sleep like I’m still holding you. People don’t pay attention. I guess that’s for the best, Dolly. Then they don’t know that I still love you.