Fandom Shared Scars

[KenKafka]

Yu Yu Hakusho AU

WARNING: triggering topics including abuse, rape, incest, violence, gore, and multiple mentions of suicide. Viewer discretion is advised!

 

[KenKafka]

Hiding in the shadows near her window, Hiei waits patiently for the change in guard to grant him the opportunity to enter without being seen or heard. The memory of that horrible night is still fresh in his mind, weighing heavy on his conscience. He was prepared to do it in order to save her from that monster, but his actions only made the situation far worse than he could have imagined. As Tarukine's wife, she may have been afforded some level of protection, but as his concubine, disowned by her family, she would have nothing. Lamenting his choice, Hiei thinks, 'I should have gone along with the marriage and killed him afterwards... At least then I would be the only one punished and she would never have to see his disgusting face or mine again.'

The yard was still and quiet with no signs of life or onlookers, this was it. Seizing the opportunity, Hiei silently slips in through her open window. Crouching where he landed, he waits a moment to listen and survey the room. There was no sound except for her soft breathing as she lay fast asleep in bed. On seeing her face, the all too familiar feeling of guilt gripped his heart. 'It was worse for her,' he reminds himself inwardly, "There's no time to waste. You'll have to hurt her again to save her from a worse fate." Steeling himself for what was to come, he places one hand firmly over her mouth and the other behind her neck, to be sure she couldn't wriggle away. "Yukina," he calls with hushed urgency, "Wake up. We need to leave. Now."

 

[WrenSong]

Yukina was hardly in good shape. Throughout the day, her charge had abused her to the point of exhaustion, leaving her to sleep in her kimono, which tightened around her waist in her slumber, making her breath quiet and strained. She remembered that night, feeling fear and violation beyond belief. She knew why he did it. She knew it was only way to save her from this hell, yet the truth that she now could never be a bride, be it in love or otherwise....it weighed on her. She wouldn't hate him. How could she ever? Hiei was only trying to save her from this tyrant, all to no avail. And so, she allowed herself to be taken by him, her family remaining with new fortune and well fed.

But trauma does not go away, even when one forgives.

As Yukina felt a hand clasp around her mouth, her eyes snapped open, and she froze, her breath siezing to the point where she practically appeared dead. Then, tears stung at her eyes, and her breath returned, heavy and quick as anxiety built up inside of her.

'Don't touch me.' Her mind cried, begging for some relief from this ongoing hell she'd been trapped in.

'Please, don't touch me.'

Then, she heard him. Her name in his voice brought both comfort and terror to her, warring inside of her and leaving her terribly confused. One of her hands reached upwards, trembling with pain and exhaustion as it gently touched the one Hiei kept at her mouth, indicating to him that she knew who it was, and that she was listening.

 

[KenKafka]

"I'm going to let go now. If you make noise or try to run, I won't stop you. Come quietly and we may have a chance to escape." As promised, he lets go and moves back to the window to check that everything is still clear. With a wave, he indicates that it's time to leave, beckoning her to follow. When she stands, he now sees that she's still fully dressed. "Tsk," he glances outside once more before hurrying over to her once again, still crouched. He unties her kimono, mentally trying to shake the memories it brings back as he does so. Once she is stripped down to her last layer, he hisses under his breath, "Hurry up!" Checking one last time for any sign outside and finding the yard still miraculously clear, he nimbly hops out, putting his back to the wall, he waits for her.
She comes out soon after him, fumbling a little. Quietly, he urges her, pointing, "Run. I'm behind you." Obediently, she hurries in the direction he indicated, running blindly in the dark. As he thought, she's much too slow, but it can't be helped. He keeps close behind, on the lookout for any signs of movement. When she doesn't seem to know where to go, he points again, only touching her long enough to grab a sleeve and correct her if she strays, having already planned the path they would take. He spent the last week staking out the compound in order to pull this off as cleanly as possible. The thought had occurred to him to assassinate Tarukine instead, but after observing his habits and security, thought it too risky to try. What mattered most was getting Yukina to safety, if there was such a thing anymore.

They come to a deserted corner of the garden wall covered with foliage and low enough to touch the top if you were to reach. Hiei nods to say where they will be climbing over as he bends a knee and sets his hands with the fingers locked together to give her a foothold. Unsteadily, she places her bare foot in his hands and grabs the vines over the wall. Without warning, he quickly lifts her as high as he can, standing to give her more height. She pulls herself up with some effort and drops to the other side with a soft thump and a muffled cry. After a quick glance around, Hiei easily follows after. Not giving her time to rest or recover, he beckons her to move, urging in a hushed tone, "We can't stop here."

This time, he leads the way into the surrounding forest, going more slowly now and glancing back frequently to make sure she is still following. He makes her walk for two long hours, only stopping when the sun begins to rise. He leads her into a small overhang with underbrush covering the top. Finally, he takes a breath, as if he'd been holding it this entire time. "I think... We might have made it..." Catching his breath, he looks at her now and truly sees. The dark bruises on her neck and wrists, her poor bleeding feet, the cuts and scrapes along her ankles and calves. "Yukina..." he says gently and then more quietly, "I'm sorry."

 

[WrenSong]

Yukina stumbled out of bed to follow, her legs shaking from her charge's ventures of nights before. Still, with a sort of emptiness in her eyes, she dragged herself after Hiei, only to flinch when she heard him curse. She seemed to shrink under the idea that she may have done something wrong, and as he neared, she shrunk further into herself...until he began to undo her kimono. Her eyes widened, and her whole body locked up again, save for the anxious heaving of her chest as she struggled to breathe past the darkness of her memories crawling back to eat her alive. Hiei would never hurt her. She knew that Hiei would never hurt her. They were always so close, and he would always protect her. She had trusted him since they were very young....So why? Why did he hurt her? She knew why, and yet the feeling of fear and betrayal never left. As layer upon layer of fabric was stripped away, she was left with the white robe underneath, trembling. He went no further. Of course he didn't, he only wanted her to be quiet and quick. The thought of him ever doing something like that to her again was ridiculous and....

Stop.

Stop thinking.

You're making it worse.

She followed, ducking and climbing, falling and running, until they got to where they needed to be, and she was panting, holding herself. The walk was long, but she pushed herself. If she collapsed and died, who would have cared? If she made it, then it would only be a matter of time until hell caught up with her again. If everyone was out to get her, then she would let them take her. She would let Hiei have her, no matter how much it hurt. When they finally came to a place where they could rest, it was clear that she was trembling, but she forced herself to stay standing. She looked up at him as he saw her for what she's truly become, and only offered him a soft and faraway smile.

"Don't be sad, Hiei...You did what you could."

 

[KenKafka]

Hiei's legs give out finally and he collapses, sitting with his back to the dirt wall. Anger wells up inside from her simple comment, "You did what you could." It felt like he'd done plenty, but all for the worse. If only he'd been smarter, he could have thought of something else, would have foreseen how horrible everything would become as a result of his actions, but no, he felt like utter scum for what he'd done and responsible for everything that happened after. "Don't tell me how I should feel," he almost snaps, barely containing the harshness in his voice. Being gentle and kind never came easily to him and until recently, he had never needed it.
He was at a loss and completely exhausted, having stayed awake through most of the night, unable to sleep from the nerves that kept him so tightly wound. Now that they were safe, or as safe as they could be for the time being, his many sleepless and fitful nights were catching up with him. "Don't let me sleep for very long," he instructs, giving no hint of emotion, "And wake me immediately if you hear anyone coming." With that, he removes his sword and scabbard from his belt and holds it against his shoulder, falling quickly to sleep.

 

[WrenSong]

Yukina jumped when he snapped, her eyes widening as she shifted to her knees, sitting traditionally as she bowed her head. "I'm sorry.." she said softly, before she nodded in response to his instruction, dragging herself to lean against a tree and watch the light on the ground creep to judge the passage of time.

Memories flooded as she watched him sleep, her eyes distant while she tried to sort out just what she felt about what happened that night.

--

The night was cold and foreboding, ice and snow covering the ground. She would be wearing that same white in the morning, hand her hand would be given to the man that she knew would be her death....but he would also bring her family life. Her mother was ill, and that man could buy her medicine. Did her life truly matter, when it came to that? One to save the many was a common principle, and she wondered why she was so afraid.

Why she was being so selfish...

She couldn't sleep. She sat in bed, awake and restless, before she heard a familiar knock, and she took a deep breath, smiling. Finally, someone to break the deafening silence of anxiety that filled her thoughts. "Come in, Hiei!" she called softly, happy to hear that he'd come. He was the only one in this house that knew how she felt about all of this...or cared. He was the only one that could set her at ease.

 

[KenKafka]

It was something Hiei had been considering ever since he saw the wretch who was to marry his sister. There would be no joy in it for either of them, but to spare her from Tarukine's cruel hands, he determined this would be the best course of action. To take her virginity would mean that she was no longer eligible to be his wife, though she would be forever scarred and shamed, ineligible for any decent marriage. What difference would it make? If she was married to him, it would be the same result, or far worse. The look in that man's eyes was one Hiei knew all too well; a lust for violence and power. It was the look of a twisted soul who had already committed unspeakable acts beyond Hiei's imagining.
For a long time, he only stood by her door, working up his nerve and hardening his heart, preparing himself for whatever reaction he might get. She would hate him, he knew, when it was said and done. It was a price worth paying if it meant that no one else would hurt her. Maybe she would even be allowed to stay in her ancestral home as a maid? As for himself, he was certain they would have him executed, or at least banished to the life of a ronin, forced to live out his days in disgrace. It took a great effort, but he finally knocked, ever so softly. Her voice rang out like music to welcome him, making this that much more painful. How long until her joy and comfort turns to pain and sorrow?

With all the resolve of a warrior facing death in battle, he enters her room. His face is grim as he closes the door behind him, knowing there is no going back now. "Know that this is for your own good... I won't let them give you to him. Yukina... I'm going to take you instead. Don't fight me, or it will hurt worse than it has to." His stomach twisted in agony, already full of bitter loathing for himself and this wretched world they found themselves in. "If you can promise not to make a sound, I won't have to gag you," he threatens while removing the belt which holds his hakama in place, letting his clothes fall in a heap to the ground.

 

[WrenSong]

Yukina smiled brightly as he entered, but it quickly faded when she saw the grim expression on his face. Something was wrong. What was it? Other than her impending marriage, what could possibly be the matter between them? "Hiei...?" she whispered softly, standing from her bed and moving closer to him. "What's the matter? Are you--"

He began to speak, and she fell quiet, eyes widening. Hiei would never hurt her. This couldn't be real, could it? Hiei would never hurt her, never once in her life. He protected her. He grew up with her. She'd known him forever and she would trust him with anything. Please let it be a nightmare. Would she be able to trust him with this?

No.

Her hands thrust forward in attempts to shove him away, and she backed up, grabbing for her blankets and flinging them at him to try and slow him down if she possibly could. Tears stung at her eyes as she looked for a way out, her breath quickening with fear.

He was blocking the exit.

"Please....Please don't do this..."

 

[KenKafka]

As much as he wanted to apologize, he knew in this moment he could not, as it would only weaken the resolve he'd worked so hard to find. Inwardly, his mind raced, wanting to take it back, to flee, to fall to his knees and apologize profusely. He could do none of that, though he would much rather cut open his belly before he ever laid a hand on her against her will. 'You have to. Better you than him. Think of what he would do to her,' he repeated over and over, letting his imagination run wild at the possibilities.
Her pathetic attempts don't seem to hinder him in the slightest, but it does hurt deeply to watch her struggle. In one swift, practiced motion, he secures his belt in her mouth, tying the knot in front with swift efficiency. Next, he begins to remove her clothes. There is no artistry to the way he undresses her, though his hands are as gentle as he can allow with her struggling against him. The sound of his beating heart is almost enough to drown out her muffled whimpering and he does his best to focus on it until guilt brings him back to the moment and to the reality of what he's doing. 'You have no right to escape from this!' he chastises, 'She will suffer and you will pay close attention to every detail. The least you can do is remember her pain.'
He holds her tightly, wishing the circumstances of this embrace had been different. It's the most he's ever touched her in their lives, the only time he's ever held her. Carefully making sure she's ready before there's any penetration, he's horrified to find himself already prepared. Unable to bring himself to look in her eyes for more than a moment, he does what he has to do with his face turned away, telling himself it's for her, to spare her as much humiliation as possible.

 

[WrenSong]

There was a point that night when she stopped struggling. It was the point at which she realized that there wasn't any hope of escape or rescue; a point of acceptance. She became numb to the pain, her head rolling to the side as she stared emptily at the wall, looking like some sort of pristine doll, shaking beneath him. It burned. It was humiliating, and terrifying, and yet at a certain point, it all faded into nothingness. There was no pleasure in this, and the pain was slowly fading and making her numb to it. It wasn't even Hiei there anymore, it was just...movement. The dull sounds that came through the belt were soft and involuntary, forcing out with her breath, and she could only let them happen. She could only lay there...moving.


It was real.

She deserved it.

She deserved this, for being so selfish; for risking the life of her mother and family by considering running away from it all. If she'd just said yes...If she'd just been happy...

Yukina began to sob, muffled through the belt as tears build up on her bedsheets. She cried herself out of consciousness before the deed was done.

 

[KenKafka]

After he was spent, leaving the evidence on her belly as further proof of his crime, he removes the gag from her mouth. Wanting desperately to wipe away her tears, he holds himself back, feeling he has no right to touch her ever again, that he never had a right in the first place. He dresses himself and leaves to report the incident to their grandmother, the acting matron of Yukina's house.

With a start, Hiei wakes, grabbing the hilt of his sword by reflex. His breathing is hard and heavy, sweat beading on his forehead. Looking to Yukina, he becomes aware of a voice singing not far off. It sounds like an old woman, but he's prepared to kill anyone who happens to cross their path, to prevent any news of their passing. He gives Yukina a sharp look and loosens his blade in its scabbard.

 

[WrenSong]

Yukina jolted as he grabbed the hilt of his sword, looking at how the light had moved. It hadn't been long, and the voice had even been lulling her a bit, reminding her of a faraway place that she knew as home. As Hiei began to loosen the blade, she crawled over, as if with some foreign strength, reaching to grip his wrist and force it back down.

For once, her gaze was as sharp as his. She wouldn't let him kill innocents. He would kill her first before that happened. "Please.." she whispered, the word hardly making noise despite the motion of her lips. "No killing. No killing, or I end it."
To make the thread more real, she pointed the scabbard toward her chest, symbolizing the act in a simulation.

 

[KenKafka]

This development was entirely unexpected. To Hiei, there were no innocents, there were only those to be left alive and those that would become corpses. It was that simple. He had to make it that simple in order to fulfill his role properly. With Yukina now as the only authority over him, he hesitates, uneasy about the possibility that he might have to go against her wishes, but more concerned with her threat. If she killed herself, there would be absolutely no point to any of this. For a moment, he wondered if they would be better off ending their lives here together, but quickly dismissed it. The chance for a peaceful and honorable suicide was long gone, all they could do now was to cling desperately to life by any means necessary, or so he would have thought. Her resolution to abide by her own moral code was at once inspiring and highly irritating. Brushing her aside, he clicks the sword back into place and puts a finger to his lips, waiting for the sound to pass beyond his hearing before daring to speak.
"Why did you do that? If she had come close enough to spot us... Do you want to die?"

 

[WrenSong]

"What would it matter?"

The answer was too fast and too real. She stared him down, never breaking eye contact. "What would another touch from someone I don't want matter? Nothing hurts anymore, Hiei!" She snapped, her eyes narrowing. "The only hurt that anyone can give me now is to kill those who don't deserve it. That woman may go home to her grandchildren. Would you rob them of their lullaby?" she asked, tears stinging at her eyes.

"I know you're better than that. So please...If you're to win back my trust, then I beg of you...don't make me..." Her voice cracked as the tears fell, and her shoulders shook.

"...Don't make me hate you anymore...I don't want to...please..."

 

[KenKafka]

Those final words cut more deeply than any blade ever could, striking him to his core. Rigid, he stays silent for a long moment while his mind recovers from the blow, 'Of course she hates you, fool! You knew it would be this way... Accept it!' Some part of him might have clung to a hope that she would easily forgive him, that everything would suddenly be better in the morning, but of course emotional scars can't be healed in a day. "I'm sorry," he eventually replies flatly, giving no indication of his mood from the tone. It seems as if he's walled himself off, unable to broadcast his feelings to her. Doing what he's wanted to do since before the incident even began, he lays his sword, still sheathed, at her knees. Shifting to sit in the proper style with his legs tucked beneath him, he presses his forehead to the ground in front of her, showing the proper respect in a formal bow as way of apology, too quietly muttering out, "Please forgive me." It's more from habit than anything, as he doesn't believe he deserves her forgiveness in the first place. He sits up only enough so that his words won't be muffled, keeping his head low, he declares, "My sword is yours. I vow not to strike unless you will it, to my death or... yours. I swear by my life and honor. I will serve you obediently." He considers swearing by the house he's served all his life, but thinks better of it as they are all dead to him now anyway. Any shred of loyalty was stripped away when they betrayed Yukina to that man. Sitting up fully, but remaining in the same spot, he takes back the sword he'd handed over to prove a point, feeling naked without it.

 

[WrenSong]

Yukina seemed to calm as he apologized, taking a deep breath and letting it out in a sigh, before she reached forward, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, before leaning forward to touch her forehead to his. She knew that he felt much more than he let on. He was always like that, after all, ever since they were young. She always did wonder why that was. The young woman simply offered a smile from below his eyes, chuckling weakly and shaking her head. "I've already forgiven you, Hiei....I was angry for a time. I couldn't help it. I know that what you did was to save me, and..." he swallowed hard, pulling back. "You always protected me. You were trying to continue. That doesn't change that I...I'm hurt. I can't be touched without first knowing, or I can't breathe..Both you and that man touched me in this way, and it is terrifying. Whether or not you did it for my own good does not change that it happened." she said, her eyes averting towards the soil beneath them.

"You are my dearest friend...and my finest sword. You and I will survive together. Through the pain that others cause us, and the pain that we cause each other, we will live." She said, before her shoulders slumped, and finally the question came. "Hiei....my mother, is she any better since I was bought...?"

 

[KenKafka]

Shame and guilt welled up inside, ashamed by how relieved he was to be so easily and openly forgiven. 'I don't deserve it. I will never deserve it,' his mind insisted, but he kept that buried and locked away. If forgiveness would help Yukina to heal, he would accept it, if only on the outside. He intended to do anything and everything he could to help her, feeling that his life might be redeemed if he could live the duration without ever harming her again, even in the slightest. Of course that would be nearly impossible, but he would try nonetheless. His harsh demeanor would be the likely cause of her suffering in the future, but that wasn't something he knew how to change.
"Intentions mean nothing, only the result matters. You're right. It doesn't matter why. I'll never touch you again, if that's what you want." He wished he could offer more, but he knows Yukina well enough to understand she would rather forgive than take revenge, though he doesn't share her sentiment in the slightest.
He nods in agreement, moved by her compassion as is often the case, but he stops and holds very still at her final question. The truth was, their mother had died the very same night of Yukina's departure. With her son awaiting execution and her daughter sold to be the play thing of a ruthless man, the stress was too much for her body. Already weakened by her illness, she passed away alone in the night. Wanting to somehow make amends with Hina and help her spirit find peace in the afterlife, Rui was the one who freed Hiei from his prison inside their compound. It was from her that he learned of their mother's death. Unable to explain this to Yukina, but unable to lie, he simply says, "She is at peace."

 

[WrenSong]

"You put your blade in front of me. You gave me full grounds to kill you if I truly resented you, leaving yourself bare to me." she said, her eyes narrowing. "As I have been bare to you, you have made yourself vulnerable and at my mercy. You have given me the control that you took from me. Because of that, we are equal....Equal is what I want to be." she said, before she smiled, almost as warmly as she once would. "If you wish to touch me, ask. I will answer honestly. I will give you the same courtesy from here forward."

She froze when he answered her question, and her small, rekindling happiness seemed to be blown out like a candleflame, the warmth leaving her expression.
It was all for nothing. Everything that had happened was for nothing. She had never found the brother that her mother spoke so fondly of. She had never seen her mother smile and tell another story from the time of their ancestors. Her mother never got to see her in a wedding kimono, at the arm of a man she loved. It was all for nothing. "Oh..." she whispered softly, before she looked away. There was no illness, where her mother went. "...I am happy for her." she said honestly, glad for her mother's release from agony, before she fell silent.

"....Hiei, will you hold me?" she asked quietly, wishing for some kind of comfort as she mourned.
She was so tired.

 

[KenKafka]

With a nod, he acknowledges her wishes, though he disagrees with the idea that they could be equals. From the moment he became aware of the world, of her and of himself, he knew she was his better. It was not something he needed to be told, though he was often reminded by his superiors, teachers, their relatives, and the world at large. 'My life is nothing. I am a tool at your disposal, that is all. I have always belonged to you,' the words repeat in his mind as they have many times before.
Surprised by her request, but obliging, Hiei lays his sword on the ground before carefully taking her in his arms. He pulls her into his lap with a firm, but somehow delicate grip. He places an arm around her shoulders and lays his other hand on top of her head. Breathing in her scent, feeling her warmth against his body... His heart begins to race. Memories flood back, unwanted and unbidden; her face streaked with tears, begging for it to stop. 'You're disgusting! You're the one who's dirty! You've always been nothing more than filth!' Trying hard to suppress his thoughts and feelings, he can't stop his quickened heart, the blood rushing to his face, or the breathlessness that comes over him. Try as he might, he is unable to quell the desire and lust burning hot inside.

 

[WrenSong]

Her shoulders trembled as she cried in silence for her mother, shutting her eyes. There was more that she wanted to do. A soft, strained breath squeaked past her lips as she felt the weight of the hope she'd held...lost. Violated for nothing. Sold for nothing. Her family had forsaken her. Her mother, who she had done it all to save...gone. It was her fault. Hers...

After a moment, her eyes opened, and quickly widened with horror. The panting breath and his heaving chest; the red in his cheeks and the look in his eyes...She stared at him for a moment, before she roared out a scream of anger and terror, making an attempt to push the other down and straddle his chest, her thumbs pressing at the chords surrounding his throat.

Never had she looked at him so coldly. Never had her eyes burned so much like ice.

She looked like a dying animal, bruised like that, and yet with so much strength, trembling as she held her stance. "Do you take pleasure in this?!" She sobbed, her face so purely hurt. "Do you enjoy seeing me in pain now?? Do you prefer me this way?! Maybe you would like to do it again! Maybe you would like to strike me, along with it. Are you really what HE is??" She screamed, not caring if they were found. "Please!! Please, tell me you are different! I trusted you! I trusted you, and you breathe on my neck while I cry for my mother!" She growled.

"You will help me find my brother." She said bluntly, her eyes narrowing. "And then, I think that I may leave you."

 

[KenKafka]

Though he could easily over power her, as he'd done before, he has no desire to fight her, to force her, ever again. He lets her push him to the ground and as her hands tighten around his neck, he chokes, but does not resist. His hands reflexively move as if to pull her's away, but he doesn't touch her, leaving them to hover there uselessly instead. Tears form in his eyes at the loss of breath, a purely physical reaction, though he would have wanted to cry in earnest if he was able. Choking, he gasps, but only releases more precious air. His vision is blurred and his head pounding with the loss of blood flow.
Despite his body's instinct to preserve itself, he resists all urges to fight, willing himself to lie still under her grasp. Darkness takes his sight and the world spins, he feels himself falling and lets go. His only regret is that he couldn't protect her the way he should have. 'I'm sorry, Yukina,' his last thought fades as he loses consciousness and his body goes limp beneath her.

 

[WrenSong]

Yukina's eyes widened as he felt Hiei go limp, as if light had returned to her. She had acted irrationally, her fear and rage overtaking her and making her into some sort of monster...Her hands quickly released him, and she covered her mouth, gasping and holding her breath.

Had she killed him?

Oh gods, had she killed Hiei? After telling him honestly that she forgave, had she...?

Horrified, she crawled backwards off of him, scrambling for something; anything that she could do. She wanted to bring him back, not realizing that death comes after consciousness fades out. Never had she thought to kill before, save once, as the horrid, shriveled man Tarukine had tortured and touched her. More death would only bring more pain.

"Hiei...Hiei!" She shook him gently, worry filling her expression. "I'm sorry...I-I don't know why I...Hiei.

Eventually, she'd found herself with her head bowed against him in pre-emptive mourning, having eventually cried herself to exhaustion and fallen asleep there.

 

[KenKafka]

The light had faded to an orange glow by the time he awoke, with Yukina laying partially on top of him. Wanting to avoid another physical reaction, he immediately rolls out from under her, sending her tumbling gracelessly to the ground. Unsure now how to handle her, he simply picks up his sword and secures it again to his hip, turning to face away from her as he does. Not from any kind of anger or resentment, but because of the way she's sprawled on the ground in nothing but a light robe. It would not have bothered him if she really had killed him then and there, except for the fact that she would be alone and would likely have to commit suicide or else end up back in Tarukine's hands. That and she would not be granted a place in heaven if she killed her brother, if there was really such a place.

Hiei curses softly under his breath, feeling the weight of this situation more fully now that he was rested. Without turning back to look at her he says, "There should be some kind of village nearby. Tarukine's people, no doubt. By now, all the surrounding areas will be looking for us. I'll have to steal some clothes for you without being seen and... I'll need to find something for you to eat. Yukina..." He turns back to look at her, his expression quite grim, "If you want me to die, just say the word and I'll do it myself. Don't dirty your hands over me."
He removes his jacket and underlying kimono, placing it over her shoulders. "I'll be back before the Sun rises. If I'm not... Assume the worst."

 

[WrenSong]

Yukina winced as she hit the ground, her eyes opening slowly, still puffy and red from crying. Never having seen another human life lost, she hadn't realized that she had only brought him to unconsciousness, and to see him standing gave her relief. "Hiei..." Her voice broke when she spoke his name, and she slowly stood, shaking her head. "I will come with you...I do not want to be your burden." She said softly, furrowing her brows in concern. "I am sorry for hurting you. I...I do not know what came over me. I simply acted..." She clasped her hands in front of her, bowing her head in respect, her hair cascading down her shoulders from the movement. "Please forgive me, Hiei. I do not want you to die. I do not want you to suffer." She said, before she straightened and brushed her hair to one side, exposing the left side of her face and neck furthermore.

"You may strike me, if you wish. I harmed you, so it is only fair." She offered, only for Hiei to give her more layers to wear.

She blinked, wrapping it around herself and holding it closed, smiling subtly at the warmth it had, before she looked up at him. "I won't let you die, Hiei. Not until it is time. Please...let me come with you. Give me something to protect myself. To protect you."