Roleplay stress?

[Nobelia]

Oftentimes, I find myself becoming stressed out in regards to role play related things. For example, I sometimes realize that I mentally beat myself up over assembling the perfect character profile, RP storyline, etc. I worry about some of the most simple of things: Is this good enough? Why does my character feel bland? What else is my character missing? If I don't like my character, how could anyone else? What did I do wrong? Can I actively participate in this RP? What if I just end up gradually falling out of this RP? What if my (RP) idea that I originally felt to be intriguing, actually turns out to be stale? What am I worried about? Failing? In that case, failing at what?


I could go on, and on about these thoughts that spin whirlwinds inside of my head. The end result is usually me feeling incredibly drained and lacking any confidence in writing or role playing. Many times, I just push myself to produce words through my keyboard because I do very much enjoy role playing, but I'm always mentally fussing about what could happen. Or, what could be an end result. Personally, I feel that some of these thoughts are low key, a side effect of my anxiety. I suppose, some of my thoughts could be interpreted as some strange form of writer's block. Either way, it just bums and frustrates me that something that I know I love to do, can also make me incredibly miserable. I know that role playing is just a game, or hobby--yet being an uncontrollable perfectionist never fails to drive me nuts.


Has anyone else had similar experiences? If so, how do you react to, or deal with them? What suggestions would you give me to fix my problem(s)?

 

[Demon]

The thing about roleplay is that the possibilities are endless and you're bound to create whatever you please. Though I understand some of your topics such as bland characters or missing something, the rest is something that you're doing on your own. When you roleplay, you're not contract or soul bound to any character you make. If you ever run into an obstacle where you're in doubt of your character or whatever, you have every right to put it on your back-burner or shelf to return to at another point; something that gives Roleplay a perk that life does not currently have.


What you're going through is a lack of muse for your character; something that arguably happens to everybody (myself included). You do have the power to change this. Considering Roleplay is a open world and unlimited resource unlike our actual lives/time, simply start a new character until you gain motivation to return back. I recommend multiple characters anyways, it keeps things spicy.

 

[Lockett]

One of the greatest things about this site is the unlimited amount of roleplay ideas it possess. Should you ever find yourself down and out from one current roleplay, simply join another until your muse for that one returns. Should it not return? Well, maybe it wasn't the RP for you to begin with. It never hurts to try new things, getting involved with something that piques your interest. Like Krozy said, you should definitely create new characters and store multiple at a time. It's always best to have options.


Last and final option I'd say. If RP is stressing you out even past this point? Don't hesitate to step back, turn off the screen, and just take a breather for a moment. There's no harm in taking a break and finding something else to occupy your time. Do what's best for you and your mental health. You should never do anything that brings you an excessive amount of stress(excluding those really hard RP fights/bosses or intensely dramatic RP storylines, you should want to feel how they feel; it's part of the fun you know?)


I hope this helped in some way...//pushes up glasses.

 

[Nobelia]

The thing about roleplay is that the possibilities are endless and you're bound to create whatever you please. Though I understand some of your topics such as bland characters or missing something, the rest is something that you're doing on your own. When you roleplay, you're not contract or soul bound to any character you make. If you ever run into an obstacle where you're in doubt of your character or whatever, you have every right to put it on your back-burner or shelf to return to at another point; something that gives Roleplay a perk that life does not currently have.
What you're going through is a lack of muse for your character; something that arguably happens to everybody (myself included). You do have the power to change this. Considering Roleplay is a open world and unlimited resource unlike our actual lives/time, simply start a new character until you gain motivation to return back. I recommend multiple characters anyways, it keeps things spicy.

Thanks for your input. Despite using the thought as an example, creating characters is not my main worry. I think I mostly worry about how long it takes me to complete ONE profile, before I feel satisfied. I know it's not obligated for me to be active in an RP 24/7, but I somehow end up feeling cheap for not submitting a post on time. I know it's not a logical thought process, and its likely a side effect of having anxiety--but it happens to me. It's bothersome.

 

[Nobelia]

One of the greatest things about this site is the unlimited amount of roleplay ideas it possess. Should you ever find yourself down and out from one current roleplay, simply join another until your muse for that one returns. Should it not return? Well, maybe it wasn't the RP for you to begin with. It never hurts to try new things, getting involved with something that piques your interest. Like Krozy said, you should definitely create new characters and store multiple at a time. It's always best to have options.
Last and final option I'd say. If RP is stressing you out even past this point? Don't hesitate to step back, turn off the screen, and just take a breather for a moment. There's no harm in taking a break and finding something else to occupy your time. Do what's best for you and your mental health. You should never do anything that brings you an excessive amount of stress(excluding those really hard RP fights/bosses or intensely dramatic RP storylines, you should want to feel how they feel; it's part of the fun you know?)


I hope this helped in some way...//pushes up glasses.

Thank you so much for your support! I feel that when I become incredibly immersed into a story line or character, I want to properly convey or express such. Unfortunately, its pretty difficult for me to become 100% satisfied with something I write. I'm always concerned about something I did, or rather didn't do. Constantly having these train of thoughts makes me weary and less eager to participate in a role play. I guess what I'm trying to say is...it feels like all of my creativity and ideas end up punching walls at one point or the other?

 

[Lockett]

Thank you so much for your support! I feel that when I become incredibly immersed into a story line or character, I want to properly convey or express such. Unfortunately, its pretty difficult for me to become 100% satisfied with something I write. I'm always concerned about something I did, or rather didn't do. Constantly having these train of thoughts makes me weary and less eager to participate in a role play. I guess what I'm trying to say is...it feels like all of my creativity and ideas end up punching walls at one point or the other?

Ohh tell me about it. Upon joining a roleplay I find myself concerned with my characters and general feel in the roleplay. I always worry that I worded something weird, there's something I could have stated better, or that people don't like my post. When I feel this way, I either reach this form of depression where I don't feel like posting to anything or I simply drop that idea all together. But you know what? Later on down the road I decided it best to go all out with my ideas, regardless of how I feel about them later. So long as what I post, I feel, is grand, then it's something I can take pride in.


I'm a visual person when it comes to my posts. I like to paint the picture as if I'm watching an anime which more often than not causes me issues ^^. I get too ahead of myself and create something drastic but then get an idea that's SUPER AWESOME SPECTACULAR and feel like doing that instead. I sometimes curse my creativity because I have too much of it. They butt heads so often that I'll just do neither. What I've begun trying to do instead of that is jotting down both ideas and simulating them for a short period of time. Maybe I'll grab a friend or two and roleplay the idea out, maybe I'll flesh the character/idea out in a few paragraphs and re-read through it. No matter which way I do it, I find it's easier to deal with my over-creativity when I simply compare my ideas and decide which one will bring me the most entertainment. Regardless of what it is or how it's done, so long as I'm having fun, that's the idea I'm going with.


Sorry about rambling on like that, I hope this helps.

 

[Nobelia]

Upon joining a roleplay I find myself concerned with my characters and general feel in the roleplay. I always worry that I worded something weird, there's something I could have stated better, or that people don't like my post. When I feel this way, I either reach this form of depression where I don't feel like posting to anything or I simply drop that idea all together.

I can absolutely relate to this.

I'm a visual person when it comes to my posts. I like to paint the picture as if I'm watching an anime which more often than not causes me issues ^^.

Are we twins? I do the exact same thing. Sometimes it works to my upper hand, other times it doesn't..


Anyways, I've read everything you've written, and I'll take your comments to heart. I really need to figure out a way to put an end to this once and for all. No need to worry about rambling--it was of some help to me in the end. I really appreciate your input, and time you took to respond to me. Thanks.

 

[Nobelia]

Bumping to see if people would like to share more.

 

[White Masquerade]

My advice is to just do your best; that's all you can do. It's freeing. Your best, is literally the farthest you can go, and if you still fall flat on your face after doing that, you can't be mad. At that point, in that moment of time, there was simply nothing more you could do. It was out of your hands.


So all that extra little doubting, perfectionist-ic chatter going on in your head? Pay it no mind. Hold nothing back and do what you can do. There's truly no shame in giving something everything you've got, no matter what the outcome ends up being.


There are two types of perfectionists. Ones motivated by fear of failure, and ones who want to push the limits of what they can do. One is fueled by unworthiness anxieties, the other fueled by a drive for mastery. It's clear you're in the first group. Do not worry about other people. Do not do do things just to impress other people. Two quickest ways to create problems for yourself. This is what's stressing you out. It's going to wreck your nervous system and leave you exhausted. Turn your focus from outward, to inward. As I said before, do your best, and be done with it. With what you knew in that moment, there was nothing more you could have done.


Trust me, you'll be in a so much better place. You will still be a perfectionist, but in a healthy way, without all the bad side-effects. Your best is probably already good enough.

 

[Pariah Stark]

The types of roleplay stresses you brought up are not uncommon.


Sometimes, like WM said, it's about a fear of failure. Makes sense. Got an awesome idea for an RP you love but no one else seems to? Yeah, it sucks when it doesn't work out, but life goes on.


Sometimes, you just wanna get every little thing perfect to make this amazing character. Not for others, but for yourself. That shouldn't be a stress; that's a motivation. If you find that stressful, you may wanna look at how far you are from the standards and if you're up high, then feel accomplished. Often times, you are your own harshest critic.


Sometimes, there are actually high standards. This is a common factor with me. If someone I know stressed about my standards, the best thing you can do is openly communicate. Learning to take criticism constructively can decrease stress a lot and push your creative boundaries to new limits.


Sometimes, and this is my case, people just aren't on the same page as you. This is a problem of mine, and it makes me want to stomp puppies quit what I'm doing. Really, sometimes, if you aren't on the same page, communication like before can help. Sometimes, you just gotta give up. There's no shame in giving up on a battle of opinions when the fruit of the labor is far from worth the effort.


My suggestion is communication. WM is definitely right in trying your hardest and doing your best, but sometimes, you can take the input of others in a healthy, constructive way and achieve things you couldn't on your own. Not only that, once you look at something with another perspective or in the mindset something can change, you alleviate a ton of stress. It's like the difference between chiseling granite and molding clay.

 

[White Masquerade]

Well said Architect. Don't stomp puppies, please.


Communication is unavoidable. Whatever you're working on Manah, ask the GM (if you're joining a role-play), or the players (if you're a gm/co-gm), what's up. Most times, you'll get clear and direct feedback that will let you know whether what you're working on is okay or not.

 

[Nobelia]

[QUOTE="White Masquerade]My advice is to just do your best; that's all you can do. It's freeing. Your best, is literally the farthest you can go, and if you still fall flat on your face after doing that, you can't be mad. At that point, in that moment of time, there was simply nothing more you could do. It was out of your hands.
So all that extra little doubting, perfectionist-ic chatter going on in your head? Pay it no mind. Hold nothing back and do what you can do. There's truly no shame in giving something everything you've got, no matter what the outcome ends up being.


There are two types of perfectionists. Ones motivated by fear of failure, and ones who want to push the limits of what they can do. One is fueled by unworthiness anxieties, the other fueled by a drive for mastery. It's clear you're in the first group. Do not worry about other people. Do not do do things just to impress other people. Two quickest ways to create problems for yourself. This is what's stressing you out. It's going to wreck your nervous system and leave you exhausted. Turn your focus from outward, to inward. As I said before, do your best, and be done with it. With what you knew in that moment, there was nothing more you could have done.


Trust me, you'll be in a so much better place. You will still be a perfectionist, but in a healthy way, without all the bad side-effects. Your best is probably already good enough.

[/QUOTE]
Thanks for replying to this thread. I've already recognized that I'm the type of perfectionist that is mainly fueled by unworthiness anxieties, though there are times where I strive to master something till it's reached utmost perfection. I'm afraid I made my original post a little misleading. While I do have anxiety on whether I'm good enough to RP with certain people, I also struggle with pleasing myself. There have been countless times where I am never happy with any end result of projects I do whatsoever. I think, that is my main issue. But I will take yourself to heart and attempt to worry less, write more, and remember the reason why I do what I do to begin with.

 

[shyguy the RP addict]

bottom line: enjoy yourself. roleplaying is a perfect way for creative people to relieve stress and use their imaginations, just dont worry about it. if you think it's good than it's good.

 

[Bacon is fluffy]

Everything we do takes a toll on us and puts stress on us,but it's how you deal with the stress which makes all the difference. If you're worried about having a good character, is it because you want people to say it's great or is it because you want it to be something you like? In regards to rp, the difference between it being fun and a chore is whether you think of creation as a burden or a pleasure. Everything we do in life is based on our attitudes or more precisely, our mentality. If you approach creation and pitching ideas as good, you'll start to beleive it's a good thing. If it's a good thing, you won't be affected by the stress as much as the you which is scared to make something a mistake.

 

[cam]

Has anyone else had similar experiences? If so, how do you react to, or deal with them? What suggestions would you give me to fix my problem(s)?

I suffer from pretty much this exact issue and it usually builds up until I have to take a couple days to a week off. When it gets to that point, I'll let my RP partners know via PM that I'm feeling drained but will be back at it again before long. So far, everyone has been understanding and it ends up not being a big deal. Then I get to refresh and recharge without feeling pressure to be the best at everything I'm doing.


Stepping away from the computer and getting some fresh air - both literally and figuratively - might be all you need to come back with more natural, confident creativity.

 

[call me rae]

So does anyone else smell something burning?


For me I am a chronic micro-manger and someone who tends to over plot a story to death : both of which lead to the inevitable burn out because I just get sick to death tired of all that work and I just don't want to roleplay anymore.


I think it's especially bad when I'm the one who does most of the plotting for the roleplay - because I feel like I have to explain everything in minute detail so that the other person can see what's going on in my head. Most of the time a vast majority of the details are of interest only too me but it's like I can't stop myself from adding more and more.


Then I get to the point where I've put all this ground work down and I'm like..."Well that was fun, now I'm bored, bye."


I do a little better when it's more of a collaborative thing and my partner contributes their own ideas. Because then I feel like there is at least a dialogue open and I'm not the only one feeling my way. Plus asking questions tends to lead to some interest in the outcome of the story versus just me nagging at you about - no it's like this or no it's like that.


I hate it when I get like that because I frustrate and bore myself so I can only imagine how awful it is for the other people.


Then to add insult to injury I will over-book myself. So not only am I spiraling down micromanage lane but I'm also trying to shove out four or five replies a day and I just don't have the time.


All of which only increases my frustration and stress levels until I inevitably crash and burn.