Pain turned into poetry

[Ame]

Scared





After all this while you reappear,


Do you want me to pretend that my heart you did not tear,


Is it me or did it get heavier, this atmosphere,


I had a feeling that I wanted to disappear,


I didn't know how to react, felt like I had a heart attack,


Do I even want you back?


After all this time of telling myself that I didn't want you back,


I think I was beginning to convince myself, but now that you have reappeared I think it's different,


Now again my mind is struck in peril,


I think I laughed like the devil,


That emotionless, fake laugh at my so called life,

Why did you come back if you had left?


Why did you leave if you were gonna come back?


Oh it hurts a lot for some reason, no matter how much I pretend to be emotionless,


I guess I'll shove medicine in my mouth for this stress,


After trying to forget you for this long,


Am I supposed to act as if nothing happened and with you go along?


Why can't I? I don't know but I'm scared,


Scared of having to go through the pain of losing you again,


I think I do want you back,


But I'm scared now, so scared that in front of you my mind goes black,


Maybe I'll possibly really turn into a maniac?


Oh but I think I do want you back,


But I'm too scared to do anything so I'll just pretend I don't want you back,


Oh I'll pretend until my pretense becomes reality,


But oh I do want you back,


"What am I saying? I shouldn't think this way",


This I heard a booming voice in my mind say,


"You absolutely don't want him back", said my brain to my heart,


But hearts are stupid, so I pray for this heart to get unscared or to stop wanting you back.

 

[Ame]

Your Lies





After turning me into bits,


I guess you felt a bit of guilt,


So you asked to be forgiven,


To be honest you didn't even need to,


I had already forgiven you,

But please stop pretending,


Or I'll keep on falling,


Your love I guess it's a lie,


So please stop this pretending,


You don't need to try to be kind,


Because your kindness is just a lie,


Stop stop stop lying to me,


Leave me if you don't love me,


I'll be hurt, I'll be sad,


But it'll be okay in a while I guess,


But please don't pretend,


Your sweet lies make me happy,


But if that happiness is a lie I don't need it,


So I'm not going to accept your lies anymore,


I still love you,


But you can leave me,


I won't blame you,


You don't need to pretend anymore.