daesung
唯一無二。。。と少し奇妙な！
I made this text really small for a good reason. I don't want you to thoroughly read through it, so your eye pain will refeain you from reading everything. Thank you friends.
Just for your sake, I made it one size bigger. Anyway, this is just a stupid rant I wanted to make because I'm just really upset at the point.
**
I'm dating someone, I'll call him Mat for now. Mat is very contained of his emotions, though he is quite sensitive. He's like me, quiet around people we barely know or who we don't trust, but complete retards around only eachother. He was my best friend for three years until we started dating about 6 months ago. So far. So good.
This is a really hard time for me. I'm not complaining about being grounded, it's just the fact that I barely see him. And then when we walk home together this annoying seventh grader (my friend, Mel) follows us everywhere and we can't have any quality time. I appriciate Mel, don't get me wrong. She's very personal with me, and I relate to her. She isn't my problem here.
Since I can't go outside and I can't go on my phone, I feel really lonely 90% of the time because the majority of the time spent on my phone is talking to Mat. I know I sound EXTREMELY DEPENDANT of Mat, and that I just need to learn how to fend for myself, but the thing is, I can't do that.
I've been dealing with depression for as long as I can remember. And my anxiety. This causes me to say "sorry" to EVERYTHING I think someone is annoyed about, and it doesn't allow me to stay happy and relaxed for long. Since Mat is also my best friend, that means I'm really comfortable talking about anything to him. And when I don't have someone to talk to, I feel lonely. I don't really care who I need to talk to, whether it be Mat or Thomas (one of my good friends), I feel really relaxed.
My parents also expect alot from me. They expect me to have straight A's, and they want me to stop dating Mat and wait until I'm 21 or something. The thing is, even though they are my parents and they are responsible for me, they can't control who I like (I don't wanna say love too much, it sounds extremely clingy) and who I want to date. It's my life, and I don't wanna be controlled (Sagittarius 2k17 much?).
And that's one of the reasons they grounded me, is because I was at his house without his parents being home. They thought we had sex and that we were totally in it for lust and curiosity. I'm gonna be really honest, his abs are amazing okay? But the thing is, I'm comfortable with Mat. And if my parents have a problem with me enjoying my company with my boyfriend, then I don't know what to say. Go ahead and ground me, I guess. The only thing I'm worried about is giving Mat the needed attention that he deserves, and for always being there to talk to him about anything bothering him, and how he is feeling. I'm sick and tired of people saying that we are dating for looks. I've had people say we look cute together and that we are goals, okay? I feel good when I hear that. I don't wanna hear from my mom, "Oh you can't date him, you're too young."
You know mom? Just because you made the wrong sexual choices at 15, doesn't mean I'm gonna fuck up like you.
I'm very blunt, okay? I'm not gonna lie, when someone fucks with me, I'm pretty cruel. But I'm also sensitive and kind of a jerk. So I'm sorry for everything I've said...
Just for your sake, I made it one size bigger. Anyway, this is just a stupid rant I wanted to make because I'm just really upset at the point.
**
I'm dating someone, I'll call him Mat for now. Mat is very contained of his emotions, though he is quite sensitive. He's like me, quiet around people we barely know or who we don't trust, but complete retards around only eachother. He was my best friend for three years until we started dating about 6 months ago. So far. So good.
This is a really hard time for me. I'm not complaining about being grounded, it's just the fact that I barely see him. And then when we walk home together this annoying seventh grader (my friend, Mel) follows us everywhere and we can't have any quality time. I appriciate Mel, don't get me wrong. She's very personal with me, and I relate to her. She isn't my problem here.
Since I can't go outside and I can't go on my phone, I feel really lonely 90% of the time because the majority of the time spent on my phone is talking to Mat. I know I sound EXTREMELY DEPENDANT of Mat, and that I just need to learn how to fend for myself, but the thing is, I can't do that.
I've been dealing with depression for as long as I can remember. And my anxiety. This causes me to say "sorry" to EVERYTHING I think someone is annoyed about, and it doesn't allow me to stay happy and relaxed for long. Since Mat is also my best friend, that means I'm really comfortable talking about anything to him. And when I don't have someone to talk to, I feel lonely. I don't really care who I need to talk to, whether it be Mat or Thomas (one of my good friends), I feel really relaxed.
My parents also expect alot from me. They expect me to have straight A's, and they want me to stop dating Mat and wait until I'm 21 or something. The thing is, even though they are my parents and they are responsible for me, they can't control who I like (I don't wanna say love too much, it sounds extremely clingy) and who I want to date. It's my life, and I don't wanna be controlled (Sagittarius 2k17 much?).
And that's one of the reasons they grounded me, is because I was at his house without his parents being home. They thought we had sex and that we were totally in it for lust and curiosity. I'm gonna be really honest, his abs are amazing okay? But the thing is, I'm comfortable with Mat. And if my parents have a problem with me enjoying my company with my boyfriend, then I don't know what to say. Go ahead and ground me, I guess. The only thing I'm worried about is giving Mat the needed attention that he deserves, and for always being there to talk to him about anything bothering him, and how he is feeling. I'm sick and tired of people saying that we are dating for looks. I've had people say we look cute together and that we are goals, okay? I feel good when I hear that. I don't wanna hear from my mom, "Oh you can't date him, you're too young."
You know mom? Just because you made the wrong sexual choices at 15, doesn't mean I'm gonna fuck up like you.
I'm very blunt, okay? I'm not gonna lie, when someone fucks with me, I'm pretty cruel. But I'm also sensitive and kind of a jerk. So I'm sorry for everything I've said...
