❃ Jamiesue's Journal ❃

[Jamiesue]

? Hi, I'm Jamiesue ?

?Flowery Announcement?




? PLEASE, DO NOT POST HERE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES EVER ?

If there is something you would like to speak with me about or comment upon, especially if you saw it written here in this thread, please send me a personal message. I would love some friendly mail, honestly, and even angry mail is better than unwelcome commenting.


?


Again, to be very clear, this journal is available to read only, not to write in


If you for any reason take the liberty of compromising the integrity of this thread with whatever garbage you think is more important than my stated instructions, I will then be forced to take the liberty of ruining your life in whatever ways I can manage, with wrath comparable to the intensity of ten thousand suns. I will probably hunt you down and commit homicide. That may have sounded very harsh. I'm not actually a killer; I'm a pansy. Please just cooperate with my preferences, and spare me the frustration. I don't want to have to fetch mods, but I just want a nice journal, ok?


Also, I almost forgot!


? NSFW; I'm a terribly profane and vulgar adult, with no real filter ?


My language is very descriptive and far from being child friendly. I won't stretch this any farther than I already have being that it's the introduction and I've already made a murder joke, but to put it politely, my cursing is wildly out of control and adult themes are running rampant consistently in my posts.


I would apologize, but here's your warning, so that I don't have to.


?



​

? Important Notice ?

Even into the future while I'm writing in this journal consistently, it's likely that this section will always be a WIP. For some reason, I'm incredibly slow and picky, and things can take a long time to feel like they're correct to me. Hopefully I can have a decent description of myself here soon, to give more of an indication what I'm like outside of my somewhat terrible writing.

Ok, ok, enough with all of the utter bullshit, and on to the things you came here for!




? If you made it this far; It's a pleasure to meet you! ?
I firstly want you to know that from here on out I'm not all rough around the edges with harsh, dark humor, in fact I can be truly lovely it seems, and I'm entirely, astoundingly friendly. Secondly, I only hope that if you're reading this, you'll peruse my muddled catalog of information and thoughts for long enough to leave with a good impression of me, and perhaps even desire to strike up a conversation with me-


I really don't bite, usually. With both of those premises in mind, here begins the story of this thread even coming about, what it means to me, for me, and about me, and what you can expect to find after this.


?


? This is a Journal ?


Journal: "A daily record of news and events of a personal nature; a diary; a logbook."
​

Why this journal was made

?


From the time many years back when I was very young, perhaps as little as six or seven years old, I have been keeping a written journal. Typically a diary of any kind was kept in a bound book and written in pencil or pen, and entirely meant for my eyes only, filled to the brim with secrets of thoughts and feelings. I opted out of actually, physically writing down my ideas and instead switched to typing out literally everything, for multiple reasons; firstly, I am a person who spends a great deal of my time lost in my thoughts, continuously and progressively analyzing my many reactions to everything, to promote my own personal development by knowledge and understanding, and this means my thoughts are quickly jumping from one place to somewhere interconnected, sometimes seeming hectic or chaotic even in my mind. Typing is particularly faster for me than writing ever was, letting my fingers keep up better with my brain in this format. Secondly, when I do ultimately make a mistake, fixing it is entirely easy, and leaves no obvious mar on the appealing appearance of the place where that mistake was once located. To me, the finished product of a journal post, when typed, is much cleaner and better organized, both in thought and look.


So, not only did I decide to type down everything, but I then at some point decided that I wanted this collection of myself to be public as well, not private like I usually am. What in the name of the good Earth would prompt me to want to throw my personal thoughts, feelings, activities, and more, out into the eye of anyone who stops into this thread? Something about having the mass population able to read this information if they desire keeps me entirely honest to a fault, as well as more mindful about the quality of my analysis. Where occasionally, unfortunately I would be inclined to lie to myself as difficult as that is to admit, for reasons similar to anyone else such as wanting my version of reality to comply with my feelings, this sense of accountability is helpful in recollecting things as honestly as possible, while still allowing myself great reflection. It's one thing to self-deny to an extent, but would I look at another person and lie to them? Absolutely not; with that in mind, I knew that it was time to force myself out of my comfort zone, and take a good look at myself. All in the name of progress, right?


Well, I've explained why this idea was born, but how did it end up on this website? I happened to choose RPNation as my first outlet in which to post completely by random really, although I've considered making a tumblr recently as well as a few other websites, solely for this journal style entry. It would be a pain to copy and paste it everywhere, and the coding on this website is particularly appealing to me, so I just threw it here, since I'm not sure what else to do with it. It needs an audience, however large or small, for no reasons other than the ones already named. It's not that I'm a person who wants a spotlight, or that I'm asking people to get in my business... I just know this is what I need.


?
​

What this journal contains

?


On to something else now, since we have an understanding that I need a place to record things objectively... What exactly am I recording, anyways?


The long story short is that other than giving you a good rundown on myself, (what I think and why I think the way I do), I will merely be posting play-by-plays of my average day, keeping track of the activities I indulge in, and the reactions I have to anything I encounter. Each post could be as small as a paragraph, or as large as twelve, if I so felt the urge, and contain anything from "I did nothing," to "I went on this adventure." I'll likely express things as I feel them, whether that is good, bad, or otherwise, and hold nothing back. I don't much believe in sugar coating things, and this is no exception.


Expect every post to contain real life, from my eyes.


?
​

?


? This is About Me ?


Description: "A spoken or written representation or account of a person, object, or event."
​

My Complex Personality

~? ~My Current Favorite Things~ ?~

​

Animals: Elephant / Fennec Fox / Cat


Colors: White / Gray / Black / Sunset


Food: Macaroni&Cheese / Strawberries


Movies: Horror / Romance / Comedy


Music: Hardcore / Rock / Acoustic


Pattern: Floral print / Geometric

If you are here, I know for a fact that you are attempting to learn more about me and my personality, and I will not disappoint you in your search for knowledge! As I hope you've gathered already, my name is Jamiesue, and I'm as complicated or more as any other human being on this planet in my overall being. I suppose I should begin to cover the things about myself that you may not know about me yet- the relevant hidden facts, as clear and plain as possible. I don't want to include anything that isn't pertinent, but as you can see, I can be long-winded, and I have trouble describing myself.


Here goes nothing.


I am a young woman by gender if you didn't already know, and I have accumulated twenty years of experience on this planet thus far. I am pansexual in preference and currently entirely serious in a heterosexual relationship, in which I am engaged to be married and perfectly content. I am an introverted intellectual, and because of the constant change that is certain in life, I have a hard time narrowing myself down into comprehensible adjectives.


Still WIP



​

A General Background

This is where I will eventually include a short version of my life story. That sounds almost ridiculous, but I wouldn't know how else to describe the factors that helped to shape my personality and thought process, for those of you interested in really knowing more about me, without really touching on the pertinent events of my short life.

​

Recent Photos of Myself

?

?

?

?

?

?

​

?

​

 

[Jamiesue]

❃ Preface, of sorts ❃
❃

This is where I'm going to explain the post layout and schedule from here on out, and express why I recently started over and deleted a bunch of posts. Stick with me, this is a very slow process.
​

 

[Jamiesue]

? Sunday, August 16 / 2:03 PM ?
?

First of all let me mention that the time at the top of this journal is always the time I start writing, not the time I post.


It's likely that this journal entry will be really long, and it will take a long time to write, as well as edit. I have to formulate good thoughts.


I want to describe the vast and wonderful adventure I went on yesterday, in full detail, and I'm even going to include spoilers with pictures!


(I know, how astounding. Me? Pictures? Of my actual life? Yeah. I definitely mean that. Beware. Read/view at your own risk.)


To begin this post about yesterday's events, I have to talk about the day before that. I know, that almost sounds counterproductive, but bear with me here, because there is a method to my madness, as there usually is. With that in mind, we rewind to the previous previous day!


Full of disappointment and shame, Friday was a pain right in the ass, er, well, the heart mostly, but you get the gist. My fiance and I desperately have needed to take a vacation for quite a while, what with all the crazy circumstances in our lives driving us insane- but that's just it, and that's so far been what is keeping us from going places. Long story short, after finally quitting his job (thankfully) and focusing on college (which like, yay, second semester A average now), we had both the time and the money to be gone for a few days. We've never been to the beach together, not by the ocean anyways, and so we planned a semi-tropical getaway to a nearby land of sand! (We have been to multiple lakes, but it's not the same) We even opted to take our best friend (My su Sam) third wheeling with us! (Just kidding, we don't make her third wheel that would be shitty, we both love her so much. Anyways this is totally irrelevant and off topic, but that was definitely a joke and I had to announce that.) After deciding that we wanted to go to Tybee Island, we came into the unfortunate realization that not one of us was old enough to rent a hotel/ motel/ beach house, and that there was no way we could stay down at the beach without sleeping in the car, or camping 30 miles away (which would obviously kinda defeat the purpose). Apparently renting rooms is a 21+ club, which makes absolutely no sense to me, but alas, it is the way of things, however disappointing. This is where things got really weird. For a while we were just considering wallowing in our sadness, perhaps buying some inappropriate deserts and drowning in them, or maybe watching some sappy movies, generally just being sad fucks... I didn't much like that plan, so I made up a better one! I suggested that we take that money and make a day trip, at least to use part of our weekend productively, since there was so much to do around here. I didn't want to just not do anything, because that one particular thing wasn't available, and I definitely didn't want to spend the whole weekend upset about that disappointment.


As it turns out, it's a roughly 2 hour drive from here in Atlanta to Chattanooga, and that city is full to the brim with exciting things to do- if we got up early and hit the road, it would be no problem to be there ALL day, and just make a day of it entirely. Every time I've been there it's been for something new, and even when repeats have happened, they are never something to complain about. (The aquarium there is one of my favorites in existence for its glass architecture and state of the art butterfly enclosure, regardless of the fact that ours is the world's largest and has a whale shark. I've been to our fancy aquarium twice and the tn That should tell you.) The city has this great thing going, in which many of their attractions will be discounted by packaging programs- like a buy two get one free, but with activities! We opted into this awesome "triple-play" for $50 a person, which was really not bad for the straight up badass day that we ended up having. (Honestly, I seriously think that this day trip was better than two days of sand.) The ticket package that we bought gave us access to three activities; We could ride the Incline Railway round trip, tour Ruby Falls, and visit Rock City.


With that in mind, and being allowed to do these things in any order, we formulated a checklist and a schedule of sorts... It didn't go exactly as planned- better.


First of all, we all woke up between 7-8 AM, which is astounding for us all really, and by 9 AM we were at the local McDonald's sharing the hearty breakfast of young adult champions which includes but is not limited to bacon and eggs, and pancakes, and strawberry banana smoothies, and a lot of caffeine. It was about 30 minutes later when we finally left, and the drive there was a little more than two hours in the car mostly playing really bad I-Spy (the kind where you say "I spy something red" and there's only one red car on the road, and no red in the environment, oops) and the worst best karaoke (everything is recently best described by opposing adjectives for some reason, but the kind where everyone sounds shitty and no one cares and it's still the most fun and memorable). I know we reached the parking lot of the first stop on our list at 11:30, surprised as hell at the good time that we made, already pleased at how the morning was going. (I mean, other than stupid people on the roads endangering our lives, a little bit of a sprinkle type rain, and getting slightly lost.)


The first stop on our checklist was the Incline Railway, "the world's steepest passenger railway!"


Not only was this my first time being on a train at all (which I have to say I have both been looking forward to and not expecting in the least to actually happen) but also this was an interesting experience in my general fear of heights. The ride up was surprisingly smooth compared to what I expected when I was looking at it, and the black "conductor" guy was the best at yelling "All Aboard" I've ever heard. At the top of the mile long ride up the side of Lookout Mountain (I know, literally a mountain with a lookout at the top haha hilarious), a whopping 70 something % grade incline and some odd hundreds of feet up from your original elevation, there is an interesting museum type situation going on, surrounding the history of the battle stuff.... Yeah, I wasn't much interested in that part, if you can't tell, and all I have to say is that I want to go back and pay closer attention to some of the history, even if it's not my favorite thing. We did go up to the observation deck area and take pictures of the great horizon, because wow! We pretty quickly took the return trip after getting our pictures, and then it was off to the next thing!



​

Spoiler

​

Spoiler

Spoiler

We pulled up at Ruby Falls, next! Contrary to the name, it's not just some waterfalls. This is one, giant, underground waterfall- you have to descend into a creepy cave to get to it! The outside of this building we arrived at looked absolutely nothing like I expected, but I mean, I guess I kinda expected to pull up to a freaking cave for some reason, lol. In hindsight that's not a smart thing to say obviously, but a small, stone castle with a giant fountain in the front definitely wasn't even on the list of possibilities in my brain as smart, either. Regardless, this place was beautiful inside and out, and we made our way to an elevator...? Yes, an elevator, another thing I wasn't expecting. We took it straight down to an underground cave system, where the tour started. The tour style was actually entirely unappealing to me, in large groups being led by one guide (even if she was like super nice and lovely), and I would greatly prefer a more private tour (gladly I would even pay more for the sense of privacy duh). The halls and walkways are somewhat claustrophobia inducing in parts, and the rushed feeling of moving from one thing to the next without stopping is not entirely pleasant, either. It wasn't very allowing for good pictures, or questions about the real history of the cave system. Everything inside this cave is a marvel of nature, a scientific masterpiece of rocks, and time for pictures and questions would be much nicer for them. Anyways, upon reaching the room with the waterfall, it wasn't long enough time spent staring, among all the people, before we were trekking back. Disappointing, but the sheer size of this waterfall and knowing that we were farther underground than the height of the empire state building above ground was overwhelming and incredible.





​

Out of the gift shop of one place, and on to the last checkmark on the list, Rock City! This is a giant botanical garden that you can walk through, without a guide thankfully, in free for all exploration style. There's varying plant life, up to 400 different native flora species, and the entire garden is decorated in fantastical themes. They have their own This is also the location of a famous "Lover's Leap" where you can see 7 states at once, from the lookout! The view is INCREDIBLE, and honestly, pictures don't do anything that I saw justice. This was by far the best thing we did, and it wasn't even my first time going to Rock City,. Of course, it was worth doing a second time or I wouldn't have done it, but honestly... Wow. All I can say is look that shit up, spoilers ahead.

​

Spoiler

Honestly I could keep going on and on, but I need to stop before this gets much longer. I started typing it last night, but I just now am finishing it up, from all the talking to people real life and hanging out with the story. We ended up with a lot of little knickknacks, including two new coffee cups! (I have this thing about getting coffee cups from the locations that we visit, because I love mugs, and then I won't have to buy a set for my future house. It's way cooler to me than most anything else you can collect, especially when people come over and share hot beverages with you, like, yes. Every cup has a story about where it came from, a little bit of something to chat about casually.) All I know is that the three of us had a fucking awesome day, and we definitely all needed the break.

​

Spoiler

@The Confused Pixie




​

 

[Jamiesue]

❃ Monday, August 17 / 5:53 PM ❃
❃

So, it's been a very long day full of writing- just not the kind of writing I anticipated it being. I've spent most of my waking, working hours today chugging along in my journal description and layout above, attempting to clean things up a tad bit more. It's obvious that things aren't quite finished, but alas, they may never be done entirely- I'll always have something to change about it, I am willing to bet. Life will change, and so will I.


I found myself increasingly motivated to participate in this journal correctly, and really use it to it's full potential. Not only do I need to properly introduce myself, describe my life and my process of things, but I also don't want to half ass any of my posts from here on out. I want to make time to write properly and record how I really feel about the things in my life as they happen, or shortly thereafter in hindsight. To me, it will defeat the purpose of having created this journal to not describe things in depth and detail, so that when I look back upon the things I've collected, it really has quality and value compared to being generic and somewhat pointless in terms of personal reflection. I have to leave myself room to understand where I was emotionally at the time of each entry, as if I could flash back to the moment if necessary, to better be able to progress forward in my understanding of myself, and my reactions. Whether it's something I feel or think, if I don't accurately describe it, I won't understand it later, and it won't help me, ultimately, which would be a damn shame.


Posting a really long entry about a weekend full of adventure really motivated me to clean up this entire journal of post content, and only post things that are entirely pertinent to remember later. I don't want to have a situation of quantity over quality; I would be ashamed to look back and be bored at myself. I need to engage, even if it's somewhat forced at first. So far in my progress, I've managed to finish up the layout of the information, describe how and why this journal even exists, and what you can expect all these posts to look like or be like. It would be unwise to not warn people that they will be reading a straight up diary, basically. Some people are uncomfortable with information like that, but honestly it's not as personal to me as most people make it out to be; I have somewhat of an open book character, and if I would say it aloud as an answer to someone asking me, then why would I not be alright with posting it for people to read? They are basically the same in concept, even if not in application, and I feel perfectly content with this. I also added a ton of pictures of myself to the slide of reference photos, and I'm sure I will frequently be updating that as well, and cycling out the pictures that aren't as close to the recent date. Honestly, I don't take a lot of pictures anyways, so that was a difficult thing to throw together, in a way. It was lovely to get to include some pictures with Jonathan in them as well, but that's just me being mushy, ignore that part.


Other than that, I still have basically no functional personality description, and no background filled out yet either. I left myself room for a preface of sorts, although I haven't started working on that yet either. There are so many things I want to make time to do, and yet here I am, writing about all the things I wish I was doing. I do have multiple different roleplays that I need to be responding to, but sometimes I feel the need to put myself first. I can't force myself to write about a story right now when my brain is so full with self-analysis and the philosophy of knowing oneself as best as possible. I've had so many things running through my mind lately that I'm finding it hard to keep up and keep things separated, although I am at least staying afloat emotionally, which is more than I can usually say for myself, all things considered. I am usually an anxious mess, after all.


I'll likely work more on this journal as soon as I can afford to really, which will probably be tomorrow. I'm going to force myself in a show of responsibility to finish a few responses, since I owe replies like a motherfucker. I happen to have multiple partners who have been waiting for more than a few days, which is absolutely terrible when I really think about it. I'm surprised a lot of these people don't hate me, but then I recall that most of them know about me and my real life, and can understand what keeps me busy, as well as why I occasionally can't reply as normal. I'm not always terribly unreliable and distracted, but when I am, it's oh so bad.


Sorry guys.
​