Poetry i a m

[starstucker]

am the unyielding battle cry of a frontline general


I wonder about the future and what unbalanced energies it holds


I hear murky rivers that call themselves voices and sound


I see pain transformed into power, memories into movement


I want nothing more than to simply be free


I am no champion, I am no hero, I am simply a survivor


I pretend everything is fine when all is being torn apart in front of my very eyes


I feel the smoldering conflagration of an unstoppable force at my fingertips


I touch the line between self-confidence and self-doubt as it becomes nebulous


I worry about the tumultuous silence in my supposedly beating heart


I cry as I feel myself crumble into the fragments of a family long-lost


I am the passionate, reckless flame of youth


I understand nothing but the unrelenting spirit of a phoenix reborn from the ashes


I say nothing but symphony in cacophony


I dream in numbers and think in codes


I try to mold myself into heart and hearth and hope hidden behind a too-wide smile


I am the solid mainstay undeterred by the elements


Acting swiftly, decisively, a taut rein over my emotions


A watchful eye over my team


Turning evocations and afflictions into steady resolutions


I am the mechanical tap-tap-tap of fingers on a keyboard

The lulling white noise of a static signal


And the recursion of halftone memories


I am the unerring shot from a perfectly-poised rifle


And the transient cliffhanger that precedes it


Rejoicing every victory, regretting every misstep


As I endeavor to equal my competence


I am both the protagonist of my own legend


And a girl who has left her heart at home


I am the sturdy ground beneath your feet


Fighting and defending with one hand


While mending and healing with the other


With earnestness no different


I am galaxies aligning


I am an unstable periastron drawing close


I am a million beating hearts in one, intertwined by simple fortuity


A million paths converging into one


I am bound to fate by duty, by obligation, by the whirr and click of interlocking gears


I am a survivor.


I am me.