Malphaestus
Touched by the Apocalypse
- READER BEWARE -
This work contains topics which some may find gravely unpleasant. If you cannot safely consume literature or written works regarding mental health issues, then I recommend you ignore what I have written below and go about your day as best you can.
The birth of this work I have written was an outlet for me, and I decided to share it; thus not meant to incite anything, or urge anyone to do anything which could harm.
The concept for this is something I wrote in my time at the ward.
---
This work contains topics which some may find gravely unpleasant. If you cannot safely consume literature or written works regarding mental health issues, then I recommend you ignore what I have written below and go about your day as best you can.
The birth of this work I have written was an outlet for me, and I decided to share it; thus not meant to incite anything, or urge anyone to do anything which could harm.
The concept for this is something I wrote in my time at the ward.
---
Lunacy rules me, a euphony of hellish cruelty fuels this ghoul's mental pool dutifully,
If you'll spare me a moment, this foolish selfish poet wishes to bring his story forward,
Please be seated within my armchair and entertain me as I share this despair I lay bare.
You'd find it dually unfair if a melody of air kept on to tear away at your social welfare,
It's psychological warfare since nothing scares like the nightmares my psychology prepares,
Too real to compare, they're everywhere, 'cept he's not actually there, he's actually here somewhere, I swear.
I try to be fair so for those who're unaware, allow me to illustrate this affair truthfully:
I am part of an unusual community, where lucidity is crudity and truthfulness is lunacy,
Where my constant urge is to never repeat words unsuitably, my mind in mutiny due to this discontinuity,
I force myself to continue brutally even though the text's purity's in ambiguity, visual music without fluency.
Part of an ilk harder than silk, not very strong so we tarried on hurriedly, which worried me, speed of knots,
Lots of thoughts to build a room off of; hard to get across but comfy in spots, ladened in dots the colour of semigloss,
A seat of concrete to complete the atmosphere of this rather austere suite.
Whoops, shit, due to poor planning this rhyme's gone in tangent, my brain in transient management,
Due to my symmetrical obsessions y'all are forced to endure my bigotry in fragments, you have my sympathy.
I wish I'd brought this about differently, and not flippantly dragging this out into segments incessantly,
Brevity is it's own beauty, and if I'd done my due duty I wouldn't have to verbalise this so confusingly,
Truth is these cues I've transfused speak of views of a reality few would compute.
I'm bruised by my psyche's ruse, a part of a maligned group, restart this unrefined loop,
Whose peace of mind got left behind by the greater court of humankind.
Hard to define the kind of wits which reminisce about the abyss, pure bliss,
We persist, society not seeming to wish to admit we exist, upon the eclipse we are transfixed.
Blind to kind, well-timed, remindful compliments, the apocalypse is our providence,
Our pain is bottomless, lacking self-confidence, self-consciousness is populous.
Our cognizance is ominous, members of schizophrenics anonymous.
Gosh, dog, think positive, adopt the life of an optimist;
All your negativity is monotonous, stop trying to romanticise rottenness.
Don't need to be a botanist to grow some good competence;
Should not take a genius to realize the no-good consequence of your apologist falsehood.
Who wouldn't be caught in the hood you're stuck at should they, god forbid, think they were as misunderstood as you'd do now in adulthood;
Stop thinking you've been martyred just 'cause you'd endured childhood feeling scared of how weird you'd matured, curse word.
I'd heard you'd gone to therapy groups, something must've spurred that on so why were you interred, thought you were cured, you'd smiled toward that joke I had shared;
Cease pretending to be impaired, it's absurd reading what you've written word for word knowing all this fear you spew's long since secured, you'd reasurred me your despair'd expired,
We're no longer required to appear sincere to this mired miser lacking emotional stabilizer,
We tire of your quagmire, liar, where's this plight which transpires?
Satire, your entire fight is self-supplied, all you ought do is expand wider,
Grow hyper, end up a wiser fighter, retire your mental viper, life'll end up nicer once you rewire,
Kind reminder, re-apply for remittal to your psychiatric hospital, it'll help whittle a little your illogical tarradiddle.
This subconscious riddle keeps you noncommittal, can't gain acquittal from this self-concieved artificial dismissal lest you acquire a less fictitious disposition,
In addition, your cognitive condition's in dereliction, abide by tradition, eat up your attrition, ignore these 'apparitions,' do not listen to those twisted 'musicians,'
The coalition of convention does not approve of all this exposition, thine doctor shalt prescribe thee an abolition of cognition,
To assist you in the construction of inhibition we require your submission to our reconditioning.
Since your psyche's in malposition, we've decided to acquisition an electrician whose mission will be to electrodeposit transition across your existence,
With your 'permission,' aforementioned technician will partition malice from your vision, the addiction to suspicion you have will thereby be left missing,
This system is christened electoconvulsive therapy, it may seem repulsive, though we assure you it is a moral charity.
It is all performed eerily carefully, there is no scarcity to the verity of this medical recipe, the perfect remedy,
You can trust me for I bear the tyranny of authority decorously, I'm a medical celebrity,
Now sign this contract ladened in purity, apparently your life herafter will be a melody,
Trust my socratic irony.
Zip, zap, zoop, oops, your memory turned rudimentary,
Damn, his sensory capacities turned to treachery,
In summary, everything's gone horrendously.
He developed mental trauma, might end up in coma, comma, pure drama.
He said he felt like an accessory to his energy, what does that even mean?
Either way, he's like a bean! It's obscene, he thinks he's a machine,
Everything's gone in ways we couldn't have foreseen, prescribe him protein,
Proceed according to the usual routine, make it seem clean,
Disguise this libertine with nicotine and glycerin, make him leave this scene.
Never speak again of what we've seen,
Thank God for that contract, what an unfortunate teen.
To better tell this story, I therefore reset my verbal inventory,
Have to say it in oratory lest I carry on drearily turning my head with worry every time thoughts cross words I've already storied,
In summary, sorely sorry, let's proceed forward relatively cleverly.
With my memory gone I've lost a sense of my identity, feeling like there's no presence flowing into me,
The relative density of my psyche has tremendously affected me, something I never could've expected was forced upon me relentlessly,
Lamentably, this entity looks on helplessly as we, collectively, vie for control over this selfless coil mentally, our enemy is inside of me.
Jealousy, self-pity, and other emotional chemistry weighs heavily,
Empathy's since lost its definite quality, pride walks in stride through our insides,
We tried, technically, not to fall to such deviltry, but this enmity within me lacks foreign policy,
Its destiny is to endlessly collide where it presently resides, within me negativity's applied worldwide.
Genocide, homicide, cyanide liquefied, flowing 'cross the riverside, magnified, terrified I stride to my bedside,
Have to subdivide what makes me horrified lest I am forever occupied with certified truths few wish to testify to,
Every bad word ever defined and it's history combine to be forever confined in my mind,
Trying to find something more refined to get behind has left me decline from humankind's baseline.
Few like to hear me criticize this earth that I despise which resides beneath the skies for it's evil bears devisive disguise,
Likewise, who am I to chastise this world that turns clockwise and revolves 'round agonized guise when I myself was one to lie in order to get by?
Trying to validate why I cannot navigate through life without having to strangulate my self-fabricated fascination with emotional delapidation is something I may never adequately advocate with words which can never represent these thoughts which I present in grave lament, I can only vent and hope that my thought's intent connect with what others have felt, to hope that I'm the only one to have dealt with this torment, and that these words I've spelt are my own alone, and that what I moan and this life I've sown is mine to disown.
Addendum.
The cruelty of this world does not stop at these words,
If something else were to be the case then we'd be in a different place,
Instead, since we cannot tread beyond the bounds that were set,
Please do not be lead by the fear that is spread.
Live such a life in my stead.
If you'll spare me a moment, this foolish selfish poet wishes to bring his story forward,
Please be seated within my armchair and entertain me as I share this despair I lay bare.
You'd find it dually unfair if a melody of air kept on to tear away at your social welfare,
It's psychological warfare since nothing scares like the nightmares my psychology prepares,
Too real to compare, they're everywhere, 'cept he's not actually there, he's actually here somewhere, I swear.
I try to be fair so for those who're unaware, allow me to illustrate this affair truthfully:
I am part of an unusual community, where lucidity is crudity and truthfulness is lunacy,
Where my constant urge is to never repeat words unsuitably, my mind in mutiny due to this discontinuity,
I force myself to continue brutally even though the text's purity's in ambiguity, visual music without fluency.
Part of an ilk harder than silk, not very strong so we tarried on hurriedly, which worried me, speed of knots,
Lots of thoughts to build a room off of; hard to get across but comfy in spots, ladened in dots the colour of semigloss,
A seat of concrete to complete the atmosphere of this rather austere suite.
Whoops, shit, due to poor planning this rhyme's gone in tangent, my brain in transient management,
Due to my symmetrical obsessions y'all are forced to endure my bigotry in fragments, you have my sympathy.
I wish I'd brought this about differently, and not flippantly dragging this out into segments incessantly,
Brevity is it's own beauty, and if I'd done my due duty I wouldn't have to verbalise this so confusingly,
Truth is these cues I've transfused speak of views of a reality few would compute.
I'm bruised by my psyche's ruse, a part of a maligned group, restart this unrefined loop,
Whose peace of mind got left behind by the greater court of humankind.
Hard to define the kind of wits which reminisce about the abyss, pure bliss,
We persist, society not seeming to wish to admit we exist, upon the eclipse we are transfixed.
Blind to kind, well-timed, remindful compliments, the apocalypse is our providence,
Our pain is bottomless, lacking self-confidence, self-consciousness is populous.
Our cognizance is ominous, members of schizophrenics anonymous.
Gosh, dog, think positive, adopt the life of an optimist;
All your negativity is monotonous, stop trying to romanticise rottenness.
Don't need to be a botanist to grow some good competence;
Should not take a genius to realize the no-good consequence of your apologist falsehood.
Who wouldn't be caught in the hood you're stuck at should they, god forbid, think they were as misunderstood as you'd do now in adulthood;
Stop thinking you've been martyred just 'cause you'd endured childhood feeling scared of how weird you'd matured, curse word.
I'd heard you'd gone to therapy groups, something must've spurred that on so why were you interred, thought you were cured, you'd smiled toward that joke I had shared;
Cease pretending to be impaired, it's absurd reading what you've written word for word knowing all this fear you spew's long since secured, you'd reasurred me your despair'd expired,
We're no longer required to appear sincere to this mired miser lacking emotional stabilizer,
We tire of your quagmire, liar, where's this plight which transpires?
Satire, your entire fight is self-supplied, all you ought do is expand wider,
Grow hyper, end up a wiser fighter, retire your mental viper, life'll end up nicer once you rewire,
Kind reminder, re-apply for remittal to your psychiatric hospital, it'll help whittle a little your illogical tarradiddle.
This subconscious riddle keeps you noncommittal, can't gain acquittal from this self-concieved artificial dismissal lest you acquire a less fictitious disposition,
In addition, your cognitive condition's in dereliction, abide by tradition, eat up your attrition, ignore these 'apparitions,' do not listen to those twisted 'musicians,'
The coalition of convention does not approve of all this exposition, thine doctor shalt prescribe thee an abolition of cognition,
To assist you in the construction of inhibition we require your submission to our reconditioning.
Since your psyche's in malposition, we've decided to acquisition an electrician whose mission will be to electrodeposit transition across your existence,
With your 'permission,' aforementioned technician will partition malice from your vision, the addiction to suspicion you have will thereby be left missing,
This system is christened electoconvulsive therapy, it may seem repulsive, though we assure you it is a moral charity.
It is all performed eerily carefully, there is no scarcity to the verity of this medical recipe, the perfect remedy,
You can trust me for I bear the tyranny of authority decorously, I'm a medical celebrity,
Now sign this contract ladened in purity, apparently your life herafter will be a melody,
Trust my socratic irony.
Zip, zap, zoop, oops, your memory turned rudimentary,
Damn, his sensory capacities turned to treachery,
In summary, everything's gone horrendously.
He developed mental trauma, might end up in coma, comma, pure drama.
He said he felt like an accessory to his energy, what does that even mean?
Either way, he's like a bean! It's obscene, he thinks he's a machine,
Everything's gone in ways we couldn't have foreseen, prescribe him protein,
Proceed according to the usual routine, make it seem clean,
Disguise this libertine with nicotine and glycerin, make him leave this scene.
Never speak again of what we've seen,
Thank God for that contract, what an unfortunate teen.
To better tell this story, I therefore reset my verbal inventory,
Have to say it in oratory lest I carry on drearily turning my head with worry every time thoughts cross words I've already storied,
In summary, sorely sorry, let's proceed forward relatively cleverly.
With my memory gone I've lost a sense of my identity, feeling like there's no presence flowing into me,
The relative density of my psyche has tremendously affected me, something I never could've expected was forced upon me relentlessly,
Lamentably, this entity looks on helplessly as we, collectively, vie for control over this selfless coil mentally, our enemy is inside of me.
Jealousy, self-pity, and other emotional chemistry weighs heavily,
Empathy's since lost its definite quality, pride walks in stride through our insides,
We tried, technically, not to fall to such deviltry, but this enmity within me lacks foreign policy,
Its destiny is to endlessly collide where it presently resides, within me negativity's applied worldwide.
Genocide, homicide, cyanide liquefied, flowing 'cross the riverside, magnified, terrified I stride to my bedside,
Have to subdivide what makes me horrified lest I am forever occupied with certified truths few wish to testify to,
Every bad word ever defined and it's history combine to be forever confined in my mind,
Trying to find something more refined to get behind has left me decline from humankind's baseline.
Few like to hear me criticize this earth that I despise which resides beneath the skies for it's evil bears devisive disguise,
Likewise, who am I to chastise this world that turns clockwise and revolves 'round agonized guise when I myself was one to lie in order to get by?
Trying to validate why I cannot navigate through life without having to strangulate my self-fabricated fascination with emotional delapidation is something I may never adequately advocate with words which can never represent these thoughts which I present in grave lament, I can only vent and hope that my thought's intent connect with what others have felt, to hope that I'm the only one to have dealt with this torment, and that these words I've spelt are my own alone, and that what I moan and this life I've sown is mine to disown.
Addendum.
The cruelty of this world does not stop at these words,
If something else were to be the case then we'd be in a different place,
Instead, since we cannot tread beyond the bounds that were set,
Please do not be lead by the fear that is spread.
Live such a life in my stead.
