TripleThreatGay
I'm the guy you call "forced diversity"
(This fanfic takes place in a specific AU wherein, if you fall in love with someone, their name will appear on your body as a sort of tattoo until either you fall out of love with them or they die)
The lettering on his chest is as familiar to him as the back of his hand. As he gets dressed for the day, he pauses, glancing in the mirror to see the reversed form of the name that's emblazoned on him.
Edward Levaincois.
He'd fallen hard and fast, fifteen years ago. He was just a child, back then, and he wasn't sure he'd understood the true weight of the letters that had taken shape until later.
The woman who'd run the orphanage had always said that if they got a name on their body, it meant they'd "found someone special". And of course, that had made enough sense at the time - Edward was a prince, after all, so of course he was special.
But that wasn't what the woman had meant.
Edward was special to him, not just as a prince, but as a human being.
Fifteen years ago, he had fallen completely and utterly for Prince Edward.
And the name has still not faded.
He doesn't know why he bothers checking every day - if anything, the letters have only become bolder and clearer, rather than fading in any way.
He sighs as he finally pulls on his shirt, vest and jacket. Whether or not the letters fade, he has no chance with Edward - he is, after all, a prince. He's lucky enough to be considered his friend behind closed doors - he could never, ever ask for more.
"Your highness? It is time to wake up," Louis speaks through the closed door. When there is no response, Louis sighs, and opens the door anyway, wheeling in his tea cart. "Prince Edward...?"
Edward is laying in his bed, his blanket pulled over his body up to his shoulders. His eyes flutter open at the sound of Louis's entrance, and his lips turn up into a smile. "Ah. Good morning, Louis."
"Good morning. Shall I prepare you some rose tea before you get dressed?"
"That sounds lovely. Thank you, Louis."
Louis gives Edward a polite smile, and he turns to the cart, beginning the task of preparing the tea. He hears Edward sitting up behind him, the telltale sound of fabric moving as the blanket shifts off of him. "You know," Edward speaks, "I do not believe I've ever properly thanked you for all that you do."
Louis's hands falter, the teacup in his hand clattering against the cart. "Ah..." It takes him a moment, but soon he manages to say, somewhat weakly, "It... It is nothing, Prince Edward. It pales in comparison to all that you've done for me, at least."
"So you say," Edward said, a sort of laugh in his voice. "But I disagree wholly. You are truly precious to me, you know. You are not just my butler, you are my friend."
As kind as the words were, they were as hurtful as they were pleasant to hear. Louis had to take a moment to steady his heartbeat before he finished pouring the tea. Then he turned around hesitantly, "Thank you, your hi-"
He froze, the teacup in his hand falling and shattering on the ground. Edward jolted at this, looking down at the rose tea staining his carpet before looking back up at Louis. "Is something wrong?"
"Y... Your chest."
"Hm?"
Louis didn't think he could say it out loud. Yet, he couldn't look away, either.
He couldn't look away from the sight of the name, written so brazenly on Edward's chest - in the same sort of script that was on his own chest.
"The... The mirror," he manages to choke out. "Look in the mirror."
Edward tilts his head curiously at the shaky suggestion. But he doesn't argue - he pushes himself out of bed, and makes his way over to the nearby mirror. He makes a curious-sounding noise, and pushes his robe aside to look more closely at the name there. "I see... That's why you're so flustered, is it?"
Louis can only stare down at the floor, unable to reply. How is Edward so casual about this? Even back before he'd truly understood the weight of the words on his own chest, he'd panicked at the sight of Edward's name - yet, Edward is as calm as he always is.
"Well, I must say... I can't quite read the name in the mirror," Edward says - he's teasing, Louis knows. But his heart jumps, and his eyes shoot up, widening at the sight of Edward's smile. "Could you tell me, whose name is it? Who have I fallen for, Louis?"
Louis swallows. "Erm... Prince Edward, I should... Ah, well, I should clean this stain, and... Make you some more tea, and... Ah..."
"Louis..."
He freezes.
"Please. Do not ignore this. Do not ignore me."
How can he, when Edward asks like that - with that soft, desperate tone that plucks at his heartstrings?
Slowly, Louis lifts his eyes. "It's... My name, your highness."
Edward's smile softens, and his eyes shine with happiness. "I see. How fortunate, then."
"Fortunate...?"
"Yes. I can think of no one else I'd want to have my heart." Edward steps towards him, and Louis can only stay where he is, legs unable to move. "No one else... Who would take as much care for it as I know you would. And no one else whose heart I would... One day, hope to earn."
But Edward had earned Louis's heart long ago. The words clog Louis's throat, despite how much he wants to tell him - insist that he's the one who needs to earn Edward's heart, rather than the other way around.
No matter how much he wants to say all that, it won't come out, and he's stuck just standing there with wide eyes and trembling hands.
Edward begins to look more and more uncomfortable with his silence, his smile slipping away. "I understand if you don't want to stay in my service any lo-"
"No!"
The word rips itself from Louis's mouth, spurred on by the sheer shock of the offer Edward had been about to make - combined with the fact that he'd rather end his own life than remove himself from Edward's service. "I... You..." He fumbles over himself, not really knowing what else to say. He's hardly fit to be Edward's partner in any form aside from a butler. But telling him that he feels the same would put their relationship in some form of limbo - not dating or courting or anything of that sort, but Louis doubts he could call himself Edward's butler and nothing more.
"Louis...?" Edward murmurs, his brows drawing together in concern. "Are you alright...?"
Despite himself, Louis chokes out a broken, bitter sort of laugh. "I... Yes, I am fine, Prince Edward. Thank you for your concern. I just..." He brings his hand up to his tie, fingers trembling against the cloth. "I..."
With shaking fingers, he begins to undo his tie and the buttons of his shirt. Edward's eyebrows shoot up, but he asks no questions; doesn't move to stop him. Louis is grateful for this - it would be even more humiliating if he had to explain himself before actually being able to show Edward the evidence of his years-long feelings.
So he pulls off his tie, and unbuttons his shirt just enough to show Edward the name on his chest. He finds himself too embarrassed to meet Edward's eyes now, but looking at his chest - which is covered with evidence of his now requited feelings - is somehow even more embarrassing. He finds himself staring at the wall behind Edward, waiting for a reaction.
"Ah... I see."
There's that calm. Somehow, it makes Louis relax, too - like, if Edward doesn't feel anxious, then Louis has no reason to, either.
Then Edward steps forward and, ever-so-gently, places a hand on his jaw. As if on instinct, Louis's eyes immediately meet Edward's, and he sees there endless adoration, love, and warmth - for him.
"I... Prince Edward-"
"Louis," Edward whispers, coming closer to him. As if to mimic him, Louis takes a shaky step forward himself, as well. "Please... For now, treat me as though we are equals. Just for now."
The thought makes his heart lighter and ache at the same time - that he could stand at Edward's side instead of behind him. But only for now - as in, temporary. It makes sense, of course. No one would approve - he is nowhere near being worthy for the prince, worthy of being his lover.
But he wants to have happiness, no matter how short of a time it will last. So, in a breathless whisper, he says, "Edward..."
He can't say anything else before he finds his lips being met with another pair. His heart soars, and he drops the tie in his hand to wrap his arms around Edward's shoulders, clinging to him as though his life depends on it. In all honesty, it feels like it does. Like, if he lets go of Edward, his very being - his reason for existing on this planet - will outright disappear.
From the way Edward is clutching to him, holding him, he likely feels the same.
Louis pulls back from the kiss and drops his head to Edward's shoulder, but makes no move to otherwise pull away. He just stands there, enveloped in the warmth of his love - of his love that is finally, finally requited.
