fix me faster than I fall apart ---

[Janice]

"Tori, can I ask you something?"


"Course you can, what's wrong?"


"Chris and I need to pick a guardian; we were hoping you'd be her Godmother; in case-- well if something did happen, she'd have someone who loved her to take care of her."


"Oh, yes. Of course, I could do that for you guys!"


"Thanks sis, the dedication's at 2 o'clock."


"I know, I'll be there."
​

---------

​

A million years ago, that's how far time had seemed to have past, what was it actually, a little over two years? Who could be bothered to count. Victoria Everly had promised her older sister Vivian and her husband Chris that if anything should happen she would take care of Mallory. When she made the promise she believed that she would, and it wasn't that she thought that she couldn't, but there was no sense of realism to the statement when she had agreed to it. Vivian and Chris led perfect lives, and Mallory was simply just one more thing to mirror their perfect marriage with their perfect jobs, they had a blessed life, and she was happy to be around her sister, so why wouldn't she have agreed?


Because never in a million years did she believe that she would actually die. That they would both die. Mallory had been at a babysitter's when it happened; thank the Lord that she hadn't been hurt.


What kind of parent would Victoria be? She didn't know. While her sister and brother in law were dying on the highway Victoria was drunk at a club; lost in the frivolous life style that came with being a young person. She wasn't hurting anyone, she was being as responsible as she could manage, but she was in a very different place then what was going to be required of her.


It was five a.m. when the call came in from the hospital, Victoria took a cab; she couldn't tell if she was hungover or still maybe drunk from the night before. Sitting in that hospital room, listening to machines beeping and providing life support, it was physically painful. Chris was dead; and Victoria (who only believed in God in times of need) had prayed harder then she ever had that her sister would recover. But Vivian didn't. She let go, and suddenly the responsibilities of the world came crashing down.


Victoria was a functioning adult, she was more than capable of taking care of a child, she owned a car, she had a nice apartment, she had a decent job. Yet she had never thought about fitting a child into the chaos of her life. Now she had too.

​

"Mommy," Mallory was quiet, her eyes were always watching, people tried to tell them that they were lucky she was so young, that it wouldn't hurt so much when she was older. Victoria knew better, Mallory was hurting just as much as Victoria was.


"Yes, those are mommy's pictures," Victoria managed to keep her voice from breaking as she handed the toddler one of the photo albums. In all of the chaos it seemed to be the only consistent part of the routine, sitting and looking at photos. Mallory's baby photos, pictures of her with her parents, pictures of the sister's growing up, any of the pictures. It provided comfort for both of them, but not today. Victoria was sitting at the dining table trying her best to sort through massive amounts of paperwork; managing the bills and daycare costs was a daily battle. Thankfully there was supposed to be a trust fund set up for Mallory's expenses, which Victoria just had to provide proof of, but the life insurance company was taking its sweet time in sorting that all out, and for the time being Victoria was frantically trying to make ends meet. She had a good job; she worked at a dance school, but the way things were going she was going to have to quit; most daycare's willing to watch Mallory refused too accommodate her hours. It was a losing battle that Victoria no longer had the energy to fight.


Victoria forced herself to her feet and stumbled into the kitchen, navigating toys on the floor that really needed to be picked up; but ignoring it for next time. She quickly cutting up an apple for a snack for Mallory. She was grateful for many things in the chaos though, one of which was that Mallory was a wonderful kid, she listened well, spoke fairly clearly, and was almost potty trained. Small victories the two were winning. Victoria put the food down on the table next to Mallory, offering a small smile and a kiss on the forehead.


"Aun'ie Ria," the girl spoke quietly, "Water."


"Please?" Victoria prompted. Mallory kept her head down, finally rubbing her tummy, baby sign language for please, it was good enough for today. Victoria returned to the kitchen, it was full of dishes. The dishwasher had broke, and it was a struggle to catch up, she hadn't caught up since it broke three weeks ago. After failing to locate a sippy cup Victoria grabbed a regular glass, it would have to do for today. She filled it with water, rushing her way back to her niece in the living room. She mis stepped over the toys, this time losing her balance and falling into the wall; hitting head first.

---------

​

"I help, I help." Victoria groaned, trying to place herself, she was lying on her back looking up at the ceiling, but she wasn't in her bedroom. What was Mallory saying? "Aun'ie Ria, okay?" Victoria tried to push herself up on her forearms but her head felt like it was screaming in pain, she groaned lying back down, managing to raise her hand to her head. Her forehead was wet; why? Oh that was right, the water. Except water wasn't sticky. She tried to focus her eyes on her finger tips, they were stained with red; she still couldn't connect what was wrong.


"Mallory, get Auntie's phone..." She managed quietly. The agreeable toddler was back in a moment, holding it out to her. Victoria started dialling 911, unsure of what to do.


"Paw 'trol?" Mallory asked hopefully.


Victoria shook her head, "Not yet." She managed before an operator picked up.

 

[PopcornandCaramel]

It was days like today that made Mitchell wish he could talk to his sister. Days like this, where no matter what you try to tell yourself, it is just going to be a shit day. Days where your feet feel like they have 10 pounds weights tied to them. It's hard enough to get out of bed on a good day, let alone a bad day. Mitchell had been fighting with this feeling for a very long time and it wasn't until recently did he find small and insignificant ways to deal. He lifted his almost impossible to lift body and dredged into the living room.


He kneeled down to the floor and began the first set to a 20 set round of push-ups.


" One....two...three" He would huff out, like someone gasping for their life saving breaths. This was one of those ways he would deal with the heavy air that often crushed him.


30 minutes of push-ups and he was up and getting ready for his day.


~~~


The medic had released a solemn sigh from his lips, leaning back onto the bench that resided in the back of his assigned ambulance he was taking break at the 9 hour mark of his 12 hour shift, really the first break they had had all day.His partner Gregory was shifting through some unfinished patient care reports when the radio in the front passenger seat started to crackle. Eventually the sound screeched from the speaker sending out a distress call that someone had put into motion minutes ago.


" Be advised, there is a code two head trauma, female , white, no other complaints..." That was their cue, it was a few miles away but with rapid response in motion the pair would be at the scene in no time.


Mitchell, who had forced himself off the bench, crawled into the front seat and adjusted his beanie.


" Where we going?"


" Head trauma.." Gregory said flatly, as if he was ordering coffee at a diner. Black, two sugars.


"Ah shit..." Mitchell knew that these cases could go south quick, but he was hopeful. Just as quick as the call came in, the pair was pulling out of the hospital parking lot and bolting down the road as fast as the law and their diesel engine would allow it.


~~


" Twenty-three-o-three on scene" Mitchell spoke into his radio, as he slid his medium sized body from the cab of the truck. His partner Gregory had been a lot faster having already jumped out of the truck and opened the back to retrieve the stretcher. Mitchell grabbed a few of their trauma bags and tossed them onto the cart lazily before the pair would start their journey into the apartment that would be their 10th call for the day. Proceeding this would be a gunshot victim, a drunk homeless man needing a ride, a mugged pedestrian and one of our regulars, Daryl for nailing himself to the damn wall again, just to name a few.


Mitchell was the acting Paramedic on scene, which meant that he would be calling the shots and Gregory would be following orders. Mitchell was the first to spot the woman whom had a fairly decent cut to her head and had been bleeding profusely. The dark-haired medic kneeled down to the woman's side, slipped on a pair of gloves and began to open up his trauma bag to fish out several rolls of gauze and silver-nitrate sticks.


" Hello ma'am, my name is Mitchell " he looked over to her with a smile.


" You want to tell me first your name, and second how you got this gash on your head?" Mitchell was as cool as a cucumber. Nothing about this job had seemed to bother him anymore and talking to patients was as easy as talking to himself.


Before the woman could answer his questions Mitchell had set up a modest pile of gauze on the floor, then he pulled out his pen light and shined it into both of her eyes.


Gregory in the mean time was standing by with the stretcher at the ready.


( Sorry if it's shit, I just got off work. Also I fell asleep last night so sorry for being late with my response.)

 

[Janice]

Victoria was lucky, as far as she could remember she had left the door to the apartment unlocked when they had got home. At least she thought she had, even at the back of her mind she was more worried about the paramedics having to break in to her home then she was about the injury that she had. "Mallory honey, why don't you go play?" She offered quietly, the little girl was simply sitting at her side, resting a hand on her leg, trying to focus on Mallory was making Victoria's head get even more cloudy feeling. "Please baby," she asked quietly, any maternal instinct she had too her niece over rode the selfish impulse for company, Mallory did not need to sit there and watch her auntie lie on the ground waiting for rescue.


"Otay aun'ie," Mallory kissed her hand before scrambling to her feet and walking to her bedroom.


Victoria managed to roll over, getting herself upright and leaning against the wall, she couldn't remember if the 911 operator had told her not to move or not. It didn't matter, it hurt less to sit up right, and at least the wall was essentially holding her up.


Maybe she fell asleep, she wasn't sure, next thing she knew there was someone in her home, talking to her. "Michael?" She repeated, trying to catch his name. She probably got it wrong. Why was she so tired? "Victoria," she managed a smile, trying to focus on the second question. The light was bright. How did she hurt her head again? She remembered the water, there was the remnants of the broken glass on the floor behind him. "I fell," she managed finally, "Hit the wall," she offered weakly, "Casualty of toy," she gestured to the toy she had tripped over. Where was Mallory?


(Nah its lovely. Please dont worry, I'm pretty easy going.)

 

[PopcornandCaramel]

"Mitchell actually, " He smiled at her and motioned for Gregory to slide between her and the wall. The woman pointed to the toy that had caused her sudden demise and he chuckled. " Well, Miss Victoria, this isn't the first time I've seen something like this.." Gregory had placed a hand on either side of her ears to keep her head steady and from moving around too much.


" I have to ask you a few questions just so we can be clear you don't have TBI...Are you feeling nauseous? Or confused? " He stated simply, not really waiting for her to answer before going onto the next task. Him and his partner were known for their quick patient pick up and delivery.


Mitchell reached over and started to run two fingers up her back to feel for anything out of place and to see her reaction. " So, with the toys I'm guessing you have kids?" Mitchell added as he continued his way up her back, the two of them a little too close for comfort. He was use to being uncomfortably close to people so it didn't really phase him in the lease bit. When he first started out in EMS, he was always stuck with getting close to the stinking drunks and homeless that they routinely picked up, after years of that, you kind of build up a tolerance for the strange smelling. This woman though, she smelled sweet to him and it was almost intoxicating.


Not finding anything significant he kneeled down in front of her again.


" Victoria, are you feeling sleepy, dizzy or anything of the sort?" He looked at her, his hazel eyes fixed onto her face. He waited for her to respond, and Gregory reached over into their supply bag to pull out a neck support, and then carefully wrap it around her neck.

 

[Janice]

"Mmm.... Mitchell." She smiled as if she had known his name all along and closed her eyes for a moment. Victoria was feeling slightly spinny; her thoughts kept drifting back to Mallory but they felt disjointed. As if she easy concentrating so hard that she would begin to think about thinking instead of her niece. "I used to be graceful," she mused over the idea with a small laugh, what would any of her dance teachers think about her tripping over something as small as a toy. She didn't want to think about work; worry about how long before she would be back up and running, there were more important things to concern herself with.


"You can call me Tori," she added casually, "if you want too!" She added hastily, laughing slightly and then wincing slightly. Someone was holding onto her head, when had that happened? "What's TBI?" She asked confused, she tried to shrug her shoulders, "I don't feel great." She finally said, she was having trouble finding the words. Her eyes found his hazel ones, "you have nice eyes..." she said with a grin, they were nice; the rest of his face was nice too. She was just grateful that he was there to help her.


"That hurts a bit," she said when he was working on her back, although it was probably hurting from before her fall. The extra stress and lack of sleep were most likely the cause, she was working herself to the bone whether intentional or not. "No I don't have a kid," she answered automatically and then caught herself, "no, sorry. I have Mallory. She's my niece," she paused, thinking about her sister, the sadness was more overwhelming than before, "well I guess she's all mine now..."


She closed her eyes again, "I feel tired... where's Mallory? I told her to go to her room..." her eyes stayed closed a bit longer; mind focusing on her niece.


((Did this on my phone. Hope it's okay.))

 

[PopcornandCaramel]

Mitchell mentally noted the pain in her back but continued through the motions, they would just have to move her carefully.


" Traumatic brain injury...concussion in fancy-shmancy terms." Gregory had removed himself from behind the woman and was now lowering the stretcher down so the pair could assist her onto it.


" No kids, but a niece? I gotcha. Did you adopt your niece?" He added nonchalantly to the conversation to keep her talking and keep her awake. The fact that she mentioned being tired was a cause for concern and they would need to get to the hospital soon so they could perform a scan of her brain.


" Do you have someone we can call to watch Mallory? Otherwise we may have to take her with us...." Mitchell poked Tori in the shoulder a bit to get her to open her eyes.


" Don't go to sleep on me now. We are almost done here okay? We just have to get you to the ambulance." He turned to Gregory " Can you grab a blanket from the bag?" Gregory nodded and did so, laying it down near Tori. Meanwhile Mitchell got to work on cleaning up her head wound. He grabbed a few gauze and began to wipe away the blood to see what he was working with.

 

[Janice]

“We lost her mom,” Victoria mumbled, taking a deep breath, she tried to shake her head but the neck support stopped that. “It’s just us right now,” she said sadly, the majority of her friends had minimal interest in dealing with the drama of a toddler, and Victoria didn’t think she could actually trust any of them with her niece. Then again, her sister had trusted her and Victoria had been under the impression that had been the wrong choice.


She groaned slightly as he poked her, wincing slightly, “That hurts,” she mumbled, “Please don’t…” She asked quietly. She forced herself to open her eyes, but the want to sleep was getting stronger. “Can I just take a quick nap.” Victoria asked with a weak smile.


“Is aun’ie okay?” The small voice asked from the door frame of her bedroom, watching the man who was helping Victoria. She was holding a small doll rather tightly; but stayed at the threshold for her bedroom, she had been told to go there and was doing her best to listen. “She fell bad.” Mallory said with a small nod to affirm what she was saying.

 

[PopcornandCaramel]

" She can ride along with us to the hospital.." Mitchell said as he watched her movement for a second.


" No you can't go to sleep Tori, otherwise you'll slip into a coma and that wouldn't be good for your niece right?" He grabbed a bottle of saline from his bag and sprayed a gauze before cleaning her wound the rest of the way.


" Alright Tori are you ready?" Mitchell asked, backing away from her to examine his work. About that time her nieces voice cause his attention. He looked over to the small girl clinging onto her doll like it's the only safety net she had.


" She's going to be fine sweety.." He gave the child a reassuring smile and a wink. " Alright Tori we're gonna have to get you out of here and on the road dear" Gregory had layed a sheet next to Tori and had a backboard next to him ready to go.


( I would have wrote more but I wasn't sure if she was laying down or sitting up?)

 

[Janice]

Victoria forced herself to open her eyes, "Okay, I will stay awake." She tried to speak confidently, her head was pounding now, she just wanted to sleep. She was worried about Mallory now, she didn't want the girl to be alone, maybe she hadn't been the right choice for a parent. "Can I sleep soon?" She managed to ask her voice heavy.


By now the small girl had closed the space between them. "I come?" She asked the man who was planning to take her aunt somewhere. "I stay wi'h aun'ie!" She sat down on the floor next to her aunt, and had the doll sitting in her own lap. "Make bet-ter?" She asked hopefully, resting her head on her aunts arm.


(Short. Ew. Distracted. Sorry.)

 

[PopcornandCaramel]

" No sleeping until a doctor says so dear." Mitchell looked over at the little girl and smiled.


" Of course you can.." Mitchell then turned his attention to Gregory who had the equipment ready for transport. The two men then had worked at getting Tori scooted onto the stretcher, layed down comfortably, or as comfortable as she could be. Once it was all said and done the pair had picked up the stretcher and placed it onto the gurney and out the door the two paramedics, patient and little girl went.


Mitchell opened the ambulance doors and they pushed the bed into the back, clicking it onto the tracks in the floor. Mitchell picked up Tori's niece and helped her into the back to sit with Tori. He then followed suit, closing the doors behind himself. Gregory took the wheel and before he knew it, they were driving hastily to the hospital.


Mitchell sat down on the bench next to Tori, paperwork gathered at his side.


" Tori I'm going to take your vitals and get your info okay? What's your last name?" He said looking down at the paper next to his thigh on the bench. His hands working to untangle the blood pressure cuff.