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Fantasy Fairy Tale Madness (closed)

Zer0

Zer0

Haiku Hitman

Fairy Tale Madness
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We are the voices inside someone's head. Will our character live a happily ever after, or will they be lead to an inescapable doom?


Rules:


1. Always place your options in the beginning of our posts.


2. As a voice in our character's head, you may give yourself life by adding short sentences such as, "Cinderella, tis' I, the god of war, stop crying and beat 'dem them rude step-sisters into a pulp-you hear me?!"


3. No coarse language


Let us begin! Please follow the format of the GM's options. Whose story shall we rewrite first?


Choose:


>Little Red Riding Hood


>Jack and the Beanstalk


>Mulan


>Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
 
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MULAN

​




It is a cold spring night . . . the soldiers above the great wall of China were walking along its length, making their usual patrols. Nothing exciting has ever happened to them since the wall's completion until-


-the piercing cry of a hawk interrupted the night, and a soldier ducked as the raptor glanced a blow at his head.


The soldier decided to . . .


Choose:


> Look at the bird curiously


> Dance


> Throw his helmet at it


> Light the beacon now because he's got a bad feeling about this . . .
 
- Mulan -

​



The soldier looked at the bird curiously. Suddenly, dozens of grappling hooks were thrown over the wall and large barbaric Huns climbed up from below.


"We're under attack! Light the signal!" The soldier dashed to light the beacon, but his way was blocked when more Huns came bursting out of the tower door.


He dodged their sword swings and climbed up the ladder to the beacon where, after grabbing the torch, he came face to face with Xian Yu, a ruthless warlord.


The soldier immediately -


>Lit the beacon, saying something brave


>Stick his tongue out at the Hun leader


>Invited him over for some tea


>Drew out his sword and challenged him to a duel
 
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- Mulan -

​



The soldier faced down Xian Yu and cast the torch into the beacon. Flames leaped up and blossomed into a roaring fire. Yells echoed in the night as the rest of the soldiers on the Great Wall lit the beacon chain that would bring the warning across China faster than the wings of a hawk.


"Now all of China knows you're here . . ." said the soldier, bravely.


Xian Yu snapped the pole of the emperor's flag and cast the banner into the flames,


> "Perfect." he said.


> "Dang it." he said.


> "You've got booger right there . . . no, there in the left nostril. Yeah, you got it." he said.


> "Why, sir, I deeply apologize. I am flabbergasted, no, really, I must have taken a wrong turn somewhere, I was supposed to have a face off with that shrimp, Napoleon." he said.
 
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> "You've got booger right there . . . no, there in the left nostril. Yeah, you got it." he said
 
- Mulan -

​



"Perfect." said Xian Yu, grinning in the light of the flames.


In the grand palace of the Chinese emperor, the great red doors of the throne room were flung open and the general of the Imperial Army strode inside with an expression of great urgency.


"Your majesty," he said kneeling before the emperor who had been speaking with his scribe, "the Huns have crossed our northern border . . . Xian Yu is leading them. We'll set up defenses around your palace immediately."


The emperor rose from his throne,


> "No, send your troops to protect my people." said the emperor, firmly.


> "Do it at once." said the emperor, relieved.


> "No!" said the emperor harshly, then he straightened up. "Invite him for tea."


> "No, we will face him in battle. I shall set out myself and bring down this invader." said the emperor grandly.
 
> "No, we will face him in battle. I shall set out myself and bring down this invader." said the emperor grandly.
 
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