Advice/Help Does this post have enough story-line?

[cheeseburger90210]

Mega City One/Mova Gym/Dell 'a nine-year-old on the team'

Control is in the back yard feeding the fish in the mirror pond as Dr. Mario and Dell playing on the basketball hoop. Dell was a nine-year-old girl who loved to play basketball. She would spend hours practicing her shots and dribbling skills in her backyard.

One day, while Control was feeding the fish. Yesterday comes out and shows Dell how to make a three pointer and tells Dell all of her old tricks inspiring Dell to want to join the basketball team at school. Yesterday had gone to state at ten. Dell wanted to beat her.

With Control driving her to school Dell's dream finally came true. She walked into the school gym with her head held high, ready to try out for the team. The gym was filled with the sound of bouncing basketballs, cheering students, and the coach's whistle blowing. The atmosphere was electric, and Dell couldn't help but feel a rush of excitement and nervousness. As she approached the coach, she could feel her heart racing. She was determined to give her best and make it onto the team. The coach, Mrs. Thompson, was known for her tough training methods and strict selection process. But Dell was not intimidated. She had been preparing for this moment for a long time. The tryouts began with a series of drills and exercises. Dell's small stature and young age made her stand out among the other girls who were much older and taller. But she didn't let that discourage her. Dell remembered Yesterdays advice, she gave it her all, running and dribbling with all her might. Mrs. Thompson noticed her determination and was impressed by her skills.

Next, it was time for a scrimmage game. Dell played back the game she had with Dr. Mario in her head, remembering the game, Dell was put on a team with some of the older girls. At first, she was nervous and felt out of place. But as soon as the game started, she quickly adapted and showed off her impressive basketball skills. To her, it was like she was in the back yard again with Yesterday and Dr. Mario. She made a few shots, one was the tree pointer Yesterday showed her, and even stole the ball from the other team. The other girls were amazed by her talent and began to include her in their plays. As the tryouts came to an end, Mrs. Thompson called out the names of the chosen players for the team. Dell's heart was pounding in her chest as she waited to hear her name. Finally, Mrs. Thompson said, 'Congratulations Dell, you made the team!'

Dell couldn't believe it. She had made her dream come true. She jumped up and down with joy, and the other girls on the team congratulated her. Mrs. Thompson pulled her aside and said, 'I must admit, I was a bit skeptical about having a nine-year-old on the team, but you proved me wrong. You have a lot of potential, Dell.'

Dell's first practice with the team was intense. The older girls were bigger, stronger, and more experienced. But Dell was determined to keep up with them. She listened to their advice and followed their lead. Despite her age, she was able to keep up with the rest of the team and even impress them with her skills. The first game of the season was later today three hours after school, and Dell was both excited and nervous. She had never played in an official game before, and she didn't want to let her team down. Control and Zelda picked Dell up from school in the red Buick SUV.

'I made the basketball team,' Dell said while getting into the Buick.

At home Control told everyone Dell tried out for the basketball team. Everyone was happy Dell made the basketball team. Later, before the game, she couldn't sleep for her power nap. She kept going over plays and strategies in her head, determined to make a good impression. Yesterday, used, Controls red Buick, to take Dell to her game. Dell took the new basketball uniform the coach gave her. She put on her basketball uniform and laced up her sneakers. As she warmed up with her team, she could feel the butterflies in her stomach. Something was strange, she could feel eyes on her. She turned to face the stands to see Jain, Control, Zelda, Yesterday, and Dr. Mario all sitting together in the stands watching her. Dell smiles and feels better knowing her family was watching. All her nerves disappeared, and the game started. She was in her element, playing the game she loved with her new teammates. Dell played her heart out, making shots and assisting her teammates. The crowd cheered her on, and her team was amazed by her performance. With Dell's help, the team won their first game of the season.Everyone runs over to Dell and they lift her up and chant her name.

"Dell," Everyone chanted.

She is an integral part of the team, and her skills and determination inspired the other girls. They started to see her not as a little kid, but as a valuable member of their team. In the end, Dell's love for basketball and her determination to succeed had led her to new friendships, unforgettable experiences, and a sense of accomplishment. She had truly found her place on the court, and nothing could stop her from reaching for the stars.

 

[nerdy tangents]

It depends on what the writing is for. If this is meant to be a standalone solo story than sure it’s got enough of an arc to be complete.

If it’s meant to be a roleplay post then once again your putting emphasis on the wrong part of writing. Roleplay isn’t about completing a storyline by yourself. It’s about collaborating with someone else to write a story together.


To give you a very brief example with a similar prompt. For the sake of simplicity we’ll say your partners character is called Chloe. ::

Dell was very excited to try out for the basketball team. She had been practicing at home every day so she could be good enough to eventually lead her team to the championship.

However once she arrived at try outs her heart sank when she saw how many other girls were trying out. The best of the best was Chloe, a slightly older girl who Dell had appointed her rival.

Everyone did their best in tryouts and at the end Dell and Chloe were both selected for the team. To try to make a good impression Dell walks over to Chloe and says “You did a good job, I can’t wait to play with you.”

You don’t have to cram an entire storyline into a single post. All you have to do is set up your partner to make their post.

As your starting out I would always leave on a bit of dialogue or action your partner can respond to. Once you can do that consistently then you can start working on making longer more action packed posts.

But for now I think shorter is better, as you want to retrain yourself to write in a different style.