Dawn Solar: Rasid Kurama

[Joseph]

Author: henryjulian


My Exalted Character Story!


“General, we have broken through Kurama’s front line. Our troops have begun marching through the gorge. It is only a matter of time until we will reach the city.â€

 

[Heaven's Thunder Hammer]

I don't want to rate this character yet, as you really have to give a background and character description of this character. Seems like a strong dawn caste... Lets see some flavour!

 

[Ozymandius]

eh, he's not bad... but hes not that great either, you might want to look into perfect soak, raising your essence, and getting more melee, as he stands i could make a wood aspected that could beat him

 

[Forn Clakes]

To be honest, therew isn't much that makes him stand outy as a typical military Dawn Caste.  The only thing would be his abilities in Stealth, but all I can advise is to try and find a hook, something that will make him stand out more, a unique idea.


~FC.

 

[Hanat-Osul]

There's really nothing here to rate.  But I rated it anyway, because I'm an elitist jerkoff with literary pretensions.


Where's the character?  Hiding somewhere in between the dots?  You've told us nothing about him.  He doesn't even have a particularly distinctive appearance or personal style, let alone a backstory, motivations, etc.


What's with the almost-but-not-quite Dune flavor with "spice" and shit?

 

[Hanat-Osul]

eh, he's not bad... but hes not that great either, you might want to look into perfect soak, raising your essence, and getting more melee, as he stands i could make a wood aspected that could beat him

Right.  Because just like in a video game, the goal when making a character should always be MAXIMUM LETHALITY, rather than pesky details such as personality, motivations, history, et cetera.


A Wood Aspect?  Damn, dude.  You must stat them DBs all crazy-like.

 

[Gustav]

Right.  Because just like in a video game, the goal when making a character should always be MAXIMUM LETHALITY, rather than pesky details such as personality, motivations, history, et cetera.


A Wood Aspect?  Damn, dude.  You must stat them DBs all crazy-like.

If by crazy-like you mean, "Mr. Storyteller can u plz giv me teh xp 4 free so dat my chractur sheeet can be the best in ur game.  Dese wwaytud dice r not 4 reel play, i jus like to roll dem.  I wan beet goku in 1v1 fight as starting charctur LOL"

 

[Persell]

Eew, I say.


Can't understand anyone even as a joke can go down to that level of non- verbosity, utter useless grammar and spelling and munchkinism.


But it's skilled to be able to do it, I admit.

 

[Haku1]

Hmmm... I can't say I like or dislike this one. To be honest.

 

[Persell]

While the character has a slightly amusing story, it has no depth without descriptions of appearance, back story, or motivations. Your character sheet is flawed.


And yes, it was so Dune tainted I was waiting for giant worms to show up!

 

[Gustav]

Eew, I say.
Can't understand anyone even as a joke can go down to that level of non- verbosity, utter useless grammar and spelling and munchkinism.


But it's skilled to be able to do it, I admit.

I've played with several of his ilk; I wish I couldn't do that.  It's not exactly a blessing.


Oh, the stories...


How many times can you hear in World of Darkness that the character is a hitman who uses a chainsaw/katana/both and is 4th generation Brujah?  Starting off?  ::shudder::