Cirno's Scrawls

[Cirno]

24/4/2013 - I read too much fanfiction, and this is my release valve. Suffer mecha drabble. Edited with feedback from @Ninva.


She waits in a cocoon in a cocoon. The visual feed is dark. Ears covered, Rin listens to the steady thrum of her blood. Beyond that, there is only the electronic whirring of her Valga. She waits. Blue light blossoms on the screen. The controls are responding to her touch before the static clears and resolves into the countdown. She tightens her grip, stretching for the surface. Rumbling overtakes everything.


Something slams into her--missiles--before she's clear. Her vision goes infrared as moon dust sloughs off her armoured form into a shimmering, billowing cloak. She shreds it with her return salvo.

 

[Ninva]

Cool. You should put this all into one paragraph. When you separate these sentences like you did, it breaks the flow of the prose. Very lovely nevertheless.

 

[Cirno]

6/4/2015 - Initial study of how to use setting and thematic magic, inspired by So You Want To Write... Magic by @Grey.


"Oh! Hello, that a newcomer?" "Aw, don't cry!" "Kel, hey, ease up." The white-robed choir of friendly advice still parts for Kel as she tows along another girl by a vice grip around her wrist. The girl keeps trying to reclaim her hand, stumbling and swaying as she digs her heels in to nothing. As if Sarah could even walk on her own here.


Ahead on the walkway, guards shuffle aside to open a path to the leaders' circle. Kel pivots towards the crumbling pillars instead. The ones playing master architects still haven't figured out how tall the pillars are supposed to be. It doesn't matter. She's decided what they're supposed to hold up.


She steps onto the railing, pulling Sarah up effortlessly. "Kel, what--" Her sword flashes. The cable railings snap. Those with presence of mind rush forward, one with hands aglow, sending cables snaking towards them as the post teeters into space.


Sarah shrieks in her ear.


---


7/4/2015 - Continued study of how to use setting and thematic magic for a written or visual story (not a mechanically supported role-playing game).


How can magic work to support the setting and themes of Ellipse, which explores relationships that continue or develop after death?


Theme


Clinging to friendships forever can be unhealthy. When will you say good-bye? (Characters: Kel and Sarah) When will you reach for them anyway? (Characters: Zareen and Anori)


Motifs


friendships (loyalty, forgiveness); religious pageantry; mind over matter; greater forces beyond one's control; second chances (found via reincarnation, other people, and within oneself)


Meta Motifs


geometric geekery; big bang (something from nothing)


Tone


Grey to light as two arcs (Kel and Sarah; Zareen and Anori) are Mood Whip-Lash'ed together to present a conclusion more about acceptance of partings instead of being dark or bittersweet in tone.


Magic


Exploration of such friendships is made possible with a magical realm supporting an afterlife. For all they can do here, those trapped within find the place too stagnant. They seek a way out. Due to differing beliefs on how to get out--if they even want or should get out--or what being out means, dissenting groups form. Is the key to getting out in their magic? And where are the adults? Theories are spun, but no satisfactory answers found.


Have internally consistent magic where the real rules and source are revealed in the third act. Until then, the children operate on the rules they have discovered, which suggest it is force magic that allows them to bend energy and matter to their will. This is achieved through training and, for those that over-think it, somewhat warped perspective on willpower and sense of self in the afterlife. That way lies madness.


Ritual magic with a dash of device magic appears at the climax of Kel and Sarah's arc, as the pillars are the true rules, the foundations of the afterlife and the way out given physical form. Except Kel is a punk and decides it's a door once she's got a key.


Rules magic wearing the skin of a callous god appears towards the end of Zareen and Anori's arc, but at this point the story is no longer about figuring out the rules from the pageantry.


Magic informs the setting of Ellipse, and the use and source of magic is traced to a logical conclusion. The story is meant to explore internal conflicts, differences of belief, and only occasionally the physical conflicts arising from differences of belief. Taking too much time to spell out how magic works to emphasize its internal consistency could deemphasize the internal conflicts of the characters. Show instead of tell the rules where possible, and take advantage of aspects of magic that allow external reflections of their inner thoughts. For example, since magic is done through will, its effects may weaken or backfire when characters waver.