Best Friend from Hell

[Viper]

And RP between

@Elaraal and I

One lonely human and one immortal monster, the two become best friends within minutes of meeting each other. All it took was a little bit of desperation and the promise of a soul.​

 

[Viper]

Desperation was a toxic, dark feeling. It could drown a mortal in their own emotions within moments and send them off a cliff or into the arms of a monster. Today it was the latter. Standing on the sidewalk in front of a seemingly ordinary house in a seemingly ordinary city was one of those monsters who could practically taste the desperation flowing through the air. The beast glanced up at the upper window of the house with silver eyes and smirked to himself, knowing that he had found his target. A woman who couldn't have been older than 18 was sitting up in that room and wishing for something with all her heart. If fate was smiling upon her maybe a genie would have headed her calls instead, yet this was clearly a very unlucky girl whose life was just about to take a turn for the worse... but she didn't need to know that yet. A monster always waited to reveal the true darkness of the situation until it was too late to turn back.


A large gust of wind blew through the streets of St. Julius, bringing with it the scent of rain and an upcoming storm. It was as if the city itself could sense the darkness which was prowling the streets that day and was trying to push it out but unfortunately to no avail. Taking the cities protests as a sign, the monster reached into his black coat pocket and pulled out a cell phone. He tapped a few times on the screen and waited. Moments later his sensitive ears heard the soft ringing of a phone from inside the house. He waited patiently until someone answered the line, "Hello Miss Adamowicz..." A deep voice started immediately knowing that it was his target who had answered the phone, "My name is Mr Lucien and I was wondering if you would like your deepest wish to come true?"


This was how the monster, who claimed the mortal name Stan Lucien, always started negotiations. It was bold, direct, and rather entertaining. Half of the time they hung up or rejected him right then, the other half started questioning how he knew their name and number, but a few of them, only a handful, would take the bait immediately either out of curiosity or boredom. No matter how they reacted however, Lucien would not give up that easily. He did not get where he was by taking no for an answer and there was no reason to start now.

 

[Elaraal]

There were occasions when Lillian Adamowicz genuinely thought she had gotten used to that whole 'having no friends' deal already. Humans as a species could endure almost any hardship, especially if given enough time to adapt, and she had received more than enough experience in coping with loneliness. Besides, it wasn't like her situation had no advantages. Which ones, you ask? Well, firstly, her life contained way less unnecessary drama. Not having to listen to whining teenagers who had been traumatized because their parents refused to buy them a Louis Vuitton handbag or comfort heartbroken girls over losing the love of their life after two weeks of dating did please her. Just the idea of it sounded like a purgatory. Moreover, unlike people who had to bond with each other and sustain their relationship, Lila had a lot of free time just for herself. She could watch movies or read books without the fear of someone disrupting her plans, nobody would ever drag her to stupid festivals she had zero interest in against her will and she didn't have to help anyone with moving. All in all, it wasn't that bad. At least not objectively speaking. People all around the world certainly encountered greater problems every single day.


But from time to time, the feeling of solitude pierced through the numbness. It gripped her neck with an iron fist and kept smothering her until Lila thought she was going to suffocate. Right now, the sensation felt so intense it practically burned. Why? Some classmates had invited her to a party yesterday and Lillian had actually gone, choosing to swallow her insecurities in hopes of having fun for once. Of course, the positive thinking had backfired spectacularly. Despite being surrounded by a crowd of people - a crowd of friendly people - she had never felt so isolated before. It had been almost like they had all spoken a different language. A complete and utter disconnect. It will always be like that, won't it? she thought while staring at a page from her book without seeing the words. I get it, there's no sense in trying, I should probably stop embarrassing myself. But still, if I could have just one person who would...


Brrnnnnng, brrnnnnng!


Lillian flinched slightly when the sound of their family telephone cut through the silence. She didn't particularly desire to speak with anyone at the moment, but nobody was home and it could very well be an important call for one of her parents, so the girl made her way to the screaming machine. Before she could voice a polite 'Hallo, Adamowicz speaking,' the person on the other side of the call took initiative. Wait, what? It didn't matter he knew her identity - that could hardly be considered a classified information - but it sure was strange that he had somehow predicted she would pick up the phone when three people lived in the house. Did it mean he could see her? Could he be one of those dangerous people that always appeared on crime news or was she just being paranoid? He did sound suspicious. For a few seconds, Mr. Lucien could only hear breathing from the mobile phone. Then Lila composed herself. I should keep him talking and check whether he's close. If he can see me, maybe I can see him from the window.


"My deepest wish? Who are you, some kind of telemarketer? No, I won't buy your super efficient coffeemaker or whatever you're selling," Lillian retorted, looking out into the street inconspicously if there was someone on the phone outside.

 

[Viper]

The beast smiled to himself as he heard the human pause after his question, he could hear her breathing clearly and could only imagine what was going on in her mind right then. Was she scared? Annoyed? At times like these Satan wished he could read minds like his 'oh so great' father. Although being God, being omniscient, was Satan the goal at the end of all of his plans at the end of the day, Satan enjoyed the challenge and surprise that came from his job. He knew that he would miss the excitement brought to him when plans went wrong or people reacted unexpectedly however he was too prideful to admit it.


Satan was still standing on the sidewalk when he saw the curtain of one of the windows move. There she was, the desperate one who had unconsciously called out to him. The monster made eye contact with the dark haired woman and waved the hand which was not holding the phone. He knew he stood out, even cities filled with a 24 hour 'nightlife' wasnt usually home to men wearing Gothic clothing midday and possessing snow white hair that flowed down to their elbows. As if that wasnt enough, unless he made a conscious effort to stop it, he tended to let off an invisible aura that no mortal could match. Even though it was corrupted, it was very similar to the same aura angels would give off if they ever bothered to get off their cloud and interact with the mortals who they watch like television. As of now though, Satan saw no reason to try and disguise his immortal aura. Let Lila feel his power and sense that he was not just some normal telemarketer going door to door.


His hand was still in the air as he continued to speak over the phone, making sure that his target could see that it was he was who speaking to her, "I assure you, I don't sell anything so trifle. I sell exactly what I said I did, dreams and wishes for people just like you. No matter how impossible you may think it be, I can grant your desire. You see, I am very good at my job and my prices are more than fair." He let those words sink in before continuing, " Everyone wants something Lillian, so tell me, what do you desire above all else? What are you desperate for in this life?"

 

[Elaraal]

Lila didn't know what she had expected to see from behind the curtain, but certainly not... well, this. Her jaw almost dropped. Saying that the man standing in the street and waving at her shamelessly couldn't pass for a local would have been an understatement. People came in many flavors here, especially those who attempted to be 'creative' with their wardrobe in order to differentiate themselves from the trend-following majority, however nobody really went so far they resembled an actual time-traveller. There was a fine line between looking stylish and completely ridiculous, and this outfit had crossed it few centuries ago. Right now, only a cosplayer or a lunatic would unironically choose to wear such an attire in public. Laughter would have been an appropriate reaction, certainly, but Lillian didn't find him funny at all. On the contrary, mere sight of him filled her with something suspiciously similar to respect.


Why respect out of all emotions? She couldn't say, but some half-forgotten instinct told her it wouldn't be wise to anger this person. Why do I have an inkling that this is how a duck that is being watched by an alligator must feel like? Indeed, the sensation couldn't be described as pleasant, yet Lila managed to suppress any visible panicked reactions. The man was watching her, probably waiting for those little signs of nervousness, and she wasn't going to provide the amusement. Hell would freeze over before Lillian Adamowicz showed weakness in front of anyone. Besides, letting a hunch override logic sure reeked of foolishness. The guy did give off a creepy vibe, but as far as she could see, there were no indications of him being dangerous aside from her own weird assumptions. Where had those come from, anyway? One could accuse Lila of many offenses, yet jumping to baseless conclusions generally wasn't one of them. Developing this habit now didn't seem like a smart idea. Right, she should just act like she usually did when confronted with stupidity.


"Dreams and wishes, huh? Cute, I haven't heard that one before. Do you have any customer references? You see, this sort of thing is rather serious and I wouldn't entrust it to an amateur." Her voice betrayed some uncertainty and Lillian cursed herself for this lapse even though the guy probably hadn't noticed anything. He would have to be familiar with her in order to read her this well, after all. "And what about your prices? I doubt you do it just out of the goodness of your heart. Do you accept Visa?" she continued, partly to mask her doubts, partly out of curiosity. Could it be that some part of her was actually taking his drivel seriously? No, definitely not. The whole situation had just piqued her interest in the same way a grisly car accident would have. It was just too bizarre, too extraordinary to look away.

 

[Viper]

"Customer references? Of course I do, but none that I can tell you. My customers are strictly confidential. Take that as a sign of my professionalism if you wish." Privacy and secrecy were not necessary for his job to be successful, but it was easier to keep the hundreds of mortals under his thumb if they thought they were special... but of course they weren't by any means. Satan had dealt with, and was currently dealing with, mortals from the highest level of political standing all the way down to the most filthy and desperate bums. Sure some of them went around telling tales of their dealings with the devil but most of them didn't want the world to know where their success and power came from, so Satan kept silent about their specific identities as a courtesy more than anything.


"As to your second question, I do charge... but not money. Material wealth is worthless to me." Satan chuckled lightly to himself as he imagined a certain demon who would pass out at the sound of those words. "You see, I prefer the 'old fashioned' method of trading, I find it more fair and profitable for both parties. I give you something in return for something of equal value, quid pro quo, if you will." The man explained this over the phone with mixed feelings. One, there was a touch of boredom because when making deals with mortals he had to explain this each and every time without fail. And two, there was a sense of accomplishment within his corrupted soul because without showing even an ounce of his true power he has already caught Lila's attention.


Satan then took a small step forward at this point and motioned towards the door, "This is fun and all, but what do you say that we take this off the phone and speak face to face, hm? My time is valuable and I am a busy man, so let's cut to the chase. Do you want to come out or should I come in?"

 

[Elaraal]

"Yeah, right. It was silly of me to expect anything else, but I guess it's nice of you to value your customers' privacy."


One thing was absolutely certain. No matter how you looked it, the best course of action would be to say something along the lines of "I'm not interested," hang up the phone and forget that it ever happened. Maybe call the cops if he got too adamant about force-feeding her his bullshit, but other than that, stop associating with him altogether. What he said still sounded comical in its sheer absurdity, however he took himself way too seriously for it to be a joke. That could only mean three things. One, she had underestimated his acting abilities and the man had been actually pulling her leg all this time for some bizarre reason (in which case he deserved an Oscar for his flawless performance.) Two, he was actually a raving lunatic convinced of his own truth. This guess seemed like the most likely option so far and everyone knew that engaging those people could result in becoming the unlucky main character in a new cautionary story for children about consequences of trusting strangers.


That alone should have convinced her to cut off all contact immediately, but unfortunately, Lillian's sense of self-preservation had been turned off. And why? Probably because of the third possibility. Because of the tiny, practically non-existent chance of his words actually not being a delusional fairy-tale. Lila had to resist the urge slap herself just for considering it, but she couldn't say goodbye to the heretical thought. What if he really could fulfill her dreams? Hadn't she been burning with desire for the one thing she couldn't have before he had showed up? Wasn't that timing a little too convenient? What if her first impressions of him did signify something? Granted, this line of reasoning felt like a wishful thinking and Lila was very much aware of it, yet it still managed to corrode her already shabby resolution to act like a responsible almost-adult. And so, when he suggested meeting face to face, the girl didn't turn him down like she probably should have.


"Fine, wait a moment." Within seconds, Lillian appeared outside, looking at the man with undisguised suspicion. "So, you said you weren't interested in money. That's... refreshing, but a bit unnerving at the same time. What exactly do you deal with?"

 

[Viper]

He could practically see the mortals gears moving within her head as she debated between letting him in or not. He half expected her to slam the phone down and dial the police yet instead the dark lord found himself standing a few feet in front of a young girl who looked frail and feminine in every sense of the word. Without even looking at his phone he hung up and started to slowly walk up the sidewalk and up to the front porch. To his surprise this woman was tall which opposed her gentle frame and features. Hell, she only a handful of inches shorter than he was and in this form Satan was above average. He grinned at this revelation, revealing teeth that were almost too white and canines that were oddly pointed by human standards. "I'm glad you agreed to speak to me directly Miss Adamowicz, this is much nicer now isn't it?" He was not ignorant of her suspicion of him but he found that more flattering than anything, so Satan ignored it and extended his arm out for a hand shake as if he was a business man and not corruption incarnate.


This was an attitude he only used when dealing with customers, not even the most loyal of his demons were ever graced with small talk or gentle contact. To put it bluntly, Satan was just hiding behind a mask of decency in order to make the trade. In all honesty he looked at the mortals of this world as maggots or insects, they were needed to keep the world running but overall they were powerless against the giants who walked among them... or in this case, below them. And just like maggots, he would rather not touch or even look at them for an extended period of time. Yet one must do what one must do to get ahead both in this world and the world after.


"I deal both in the tangible and intangible." He continued to explain, "Sometimes I ask for promises for future favors, other times I ask for the deeds to a location or business, and occasionally I will ask for a virtue or a method of perception..." He trailed off at this point motioning his hand in a small circle to signify that he could go on and on. As he did this he glanced over Lillian's shoulder and into the house before scoffing a little, "In your case though.... I doubt there is anything material that I could want. So expect me to ask for something a bit more incorporeal such as-" Satan stopped mid sentence and laughed, "Well, I'm getting ahead of myself there. Until I know what you desire I can't really say what I will want in return. Although based on your physicality I definitely won't be asking for your heath!"

 

[Elaraal]

I'm going to regret this very soon, aren't I? flashed through her mind as the man who had introduced himself as Mr. Lucien stretched his hand, smiling like a shark sensing blood in the water. Okay, sharks obviously didn't smile because their facial structure didn't allow it, but Lillian figured that if they did, it would bear a striking similarity to the man's expression. "Well, I can't deny it is more personal that way," the girl uttered in response to his remark. I don't know whether it's a good thing or not, though. The guy looked just as enigmatic from up close as he had seemed from the distance, but that wasn't what fueled her suspicions. At least not entirely. If she had possessed an ounce of spirituality, Lila would have probably said that he was emitted a 'bad aura'. It almost felt as if he was surrounded by a black cloud contaminating his surroundings. Never in her life had Lillian experienced something so so disturbing. And yet, at the same time, the very thing that unsettled her so deeply intrigued her.


She shook his hand without showing a hint of hesitation; the girl's grip was strong, perhaps a little too strong for someone of her visage, but not bone-shattering. The gesture had been perfectly calculated. Even Lila knew very well that a limp-wristed handshake immediately branded you as a loser in the eyes of... well, pretty much every human being on the planet, so she had learned to do it properly ages ago. Now if only all aspects of social interactions were so simple. Mr. Lucien then revealed some finer details regarding the payment for his services, however the explanation only raised more questions. Tangible and intangible? Future favors? Who is this guy, a more handsome version of Rumpelstiltskin? Is he going to ask for my firstborn child? A thoughtful wrinkle appeared in her brow, but aside from that, Lillian's expression remained mostly unreadable. Years of pretending had taught her how to hide her emotions rather effectively.


"That is very courteous of you, much appreciated," she replied somewhat sarcastically. "Are you sure I even have anything you'd consider valuable? It is true that determining the price without knowing what I'm interested in is a futile effort, though. And what do I wish for?" Lila paused, clearly fighting with herself. Saying it aloud was demeaning, especially in front of someone else, yet the crushing emptiness in her chest hurt even more than wounded pride. If it indeed could be relieved with his help, why would she resist? To prolong the suffering? And if he can't solve my problem after all, hey, he's still a stranger. It will be embarrassing, but I will never have to see him again if I decide to avoid him. Encouraged by this reasoning, the girl took a deep breath before speaking again. "I... I want a best friend. I want you as my best friend."

 

[Viper]

When the girl took Satan's hand immediately he couldn't help but grin even wider. She's brave, foolish and young, but brave none the less. He thought with a small ounce of respect. She may not have known who she was exactly dealing with but willingly getting into arms reach of any stranger really said something about the person. They either were stupidly confident or had a death wish... both appealing traits to a demon of his caliber.


With anticipation Satan waited to hear what this mortal girl wanted so much that he could sense her desperation even from the last circle in hell. When he heard what she wanted though the mask he wore slipped off and a burst of laughter exploded from his chest. All professionalism and attempts at being 'decent' vanished in an instant as the devil laughed so hard that he buckled over and covered his face with one gloved hand. In between the gasps of his deep laughter he managed to let out one sentence a few times, "You... are... so... stupid!"


It seemed as if it would go on forever until with one final gasp he stopped and straightened up, still grinning from ear to ear, and exclaimed with glee, "In all my years that I have been doing this I have never heard such a pointless, meaningless request. Romance at least I can understand why people want that since true love is so rare in this world... but a friend? Geez, you must have a pitiful life to be so desperate for something so common." For a moment it appeared that the darkened salesman was going to begin a second wave of laughter but instead he swung his arms out to the side in a sharp motion, "But you know what, just because you made me laugh for the first time in decades, I'll actually consider this."


The devil placed a finger to his chin in thought as he weighed what this girl wanted against what she could provide. Giving her any random friend would have been easy, not to mention cheaper on her end, but since she wanted the lord of darkness himself he would have to ask more. Normally for a deal like this he would just request her soul once her mortal life ended either naturally or by 'God's plan' meaning a car crash or something otherwise unexpected. However if this mortal wanted him to be her best friend then he would demand not only her soul before her predestined time but he needed more than just that. Even if all he was giving up was his time, although he had an unlimited amount of it, Satan's time was still valuable.


But first, one question that was crashing around in his brain "Not saying that you are wrong to want me as a friend, just about everyone does, but I'm curious... why me? I'm a complete stranger, you know nothing concerning who I really am or where I come from, so why do you want me specifically instead of someone you already know or admire?"

 

[Elaraal]

"Is this how you treat potential customers? Lovely. I'd recommend you to all my friends if I had any," Lillian remarked as she put her hands on her hips, attempting to conceal her embarrassment in sarcasm. It didn't work out that well, mainly because her porcelain-like complexion highlighted even the slightest hint of a blush, and so her face resembled a perfectly cooked lobster. Oh my god, me and my big mouth, that was a terrible idea. I should have sent him where sun doesn't shine while I had the chance. I just hope he hasn't been secretly recording this with some hidden device otherwise I'll have to spend my entire life with a paper bag over my head. "I'm glad you're having fun," she interrupted his bout of laughter in an irritated tone, "but please try to contain yourself, I would never forgive myself if you were to choke to death because of me. And I know very well that I'm not exactly normal in this regard, so you don't really have to waste your breath on reminding me."


Lila would honestly prefer being swallowed by the Earth right now just to escape all of this, but since her only option of tactical retreat was running away, the girl decided to endure the mockery instead. Fleeing would have only made her seem even more pathetic at this point. Not that it really mattered since her self-worth was writhing in the death-throes already, but pretending to still have standards felt comforting. You know what, I had it coming. I've chosen poorly and this is what I get, it's only fair. I should probably shut up forever. When Lucien started his tirade on how pointless her wish was, though, Lillian couldn't stop herself from speaking out.


"Is it? You say that true love is rare and friendship isn't, but I don't agree. I don't want someone to badmouth my professors with only to forget about their existence after graduation or a person who merely doesn't bore me to death. I would be able to get these no problem, but I want a real connection and that is at least as precious as love. And while we're at it, romance is overrated anyway, it's basically a glorified mating instinct," she protested with fire in her eyes. Nobody who hadn't walked a mile in her shoes could possibly hope to understand, but that didn't mean Lila wouldn't at least try to stand her ground. It wasn't like she could make an even bigger fool out of herself, so what was there to lose?


Being asked to explain herself did surprise her a bit, but fortunately, Lillian had an answer to that particular question. "Actually, there are numerous reasons behind the specifics of my request. First of all, there aren't many individuals I know and admire. People that meet these criteria are either hilariously unsuitable for the role or, well, dead. That obviously complicates things a little. I also want this to be... More honest, for lack of a better word. I know that if you were to become my friend, it would be only because of our deal, but you were the one coming to me with the proposal of fulfilling my wish, so it doesn't feel as disingenuous as if you dragged a third party into this. And finally, the fact that I don't know much about you is a plus. We can emulate this whole 'getting to know each other' routine that friends usually go through. You're an interesting enough sort for that," Lila wrapped up her moving speech. It sounded nothing short of insane even to her own ears, but she didn't care anymore. A real opportunity had presented itself to her and the girl was going to grab it even if her fingers were going to get cut in the process.


"So, can you name your price?"

 

[Viper]

Satan had been laughing too hard to hear what Lillian said at first but by the time she got into her friendship speech he just rolled his eyes in response and raised his hands as if surrendering. "No need to get upset. You're welcome to believe whatever you want, I'm in no position to argue with the whims of youth. I myself believed in some foolish things when I first came into existence. Although I will say, you really shouldn't underestimate instincts, even mating ones, you have those urges for a reason."


Lillian's answer was not exactly what he expected. He thought that she was going to mention that she wanted a friend that she could profit from, who better to befriend than someone who can grant anyone's desire after all? That way you get an unlimited number of perks and wishes! But no, she wanted an honest friendship where no one was forced into it. "Well, isn't that considerate... Thinking about the third party is so selfless of you." He said with mock respect and applause. In reality goodness, piety, selflessness, they all were inconceivable to Satan who looked after number one before all else. It was both apart of who he was and a practiced attitude that he grew over time. "Still, I'm flattered that you chose me over all of the other humans on earth."


"Now my price..." He was silent for a moment before he shrugged casually, "All I want is your mind, body and soul before your predestined time... let's say one year? I will dedicate myself to you fully, I will be the best friend that you have dreamed of for 365 mortal days starting at midnight and when that time ends, I get to take your mind, soul, and body as my possession. Frankly between the two of us I'm getting the shorter end of the stick. You won't be getting a better deal, so what do you say?"


This deal involved more than just Satan ripping Lillian's soul out of her body and dragging it down to hell to use as apart of his army against the heavens. No, there was so much more. Her body, which was just an empty husk used to house her soul, would also be given to Satan at which point he would be able to put in a demon in her place. He would have a fiercely loyal demon walking around earth freely, able to do whatever needed to be done, simply it was possession. Her mind would be his as well, he would be able to read every thought or memory if he choose to, he would be able to control every movement, but best of all she would not be able to betray him. Overall in the long term it was a great deal for him and in the short term, it was great for her.

 

[Elaraal]

"I'm not upset," muttered the clearly upset girl, "I was just trying to shed some light on my motivations. That's a phenomenon which typically occurs when you laugh in someone's face for their beliefs." The insistence on justifying her might be a bit childish, especially in the context of her situation, but that didn't exactly bother her at the moment. Never had, to be completely honest. Getting caught up in relatively pointless arguments had always been her Achilles' heel, possibly because that was the one form of communication she excelled in. Unlike the complicated tangle of unspoken rules that shaped a normal conversation, verbal confrontations were quite straightforward. You just had to win, end of story. In that sense, Lillian found them to be quite comforting.


"You misunderstand, the third party has very little to do with my decision. I don't believe that making people spend some time with me is too traumatic, so I'd be able to sleep at night even if you did coerce someone into it. No, it's about me. I just don't think I could enjoy this friendship without the small authenticity factor I've mentioned before," Lillian clarified with a small grin. Being painted as a saint for a virtue she didn't possess wasn't her goal. One could detect many personality flaws among her traits, but not dishonesty.


When Lucien spoke again, he finally revealed the price and her eyes widened in surprise. Well, damn, it looks like I have suspected the wrong mythological being there. He is no Rumpelstiltskin, this sounds more like work of a devil. And with that single thought, the last puzzle piece fell in its place with a loud 'click'. Everything suddenly made sense. Lila stared at the white-haired man for a while, her mouth agape, before taking her turn to burst into laughter. Her shoulders shook uncontrollably as she cackled for so long that it drained strength from her body, forcing her to lean forward with her hands on her knees for balance. "Lucien, yes, I see what you did there," was the first sentence that managed to get through her lips. "They warned me against this shit at my Sunday school, but I always figured it was... slightly more metaphorical. You know, stuff like succumbing to alcoholism, not selling your soul to the actual devil. Oh, how I wish Miss Halloway could see me now, she would get an aneurysm."


An occasional giggle still interrupted her speech, however a shade of seriousness was slowly beginning to return to her eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you, but the idea of having you of all people as a best friend in this freaking city was just too hilarious. Let me state openly that I don't believe for a second that you're getting the shorter end of the stick. You are no charity, so you wouldn't be doing this if your gains weren't significant. But you know what? I'll say yes, if only because this should be one hell of a ride." It was better to burn out than to fade away, after all. She had been slowly withering for years and now the escape route had been provided, nothing would convince her not to walk that path. Not even the certainty of damnation. The notion of losing her soul did frighten her, yes, albeit likely not as much as one would expect. Lillian had always secretly assumed she would die young due to her poor health, so learning the exact date actually put her mind at peace in a certain twisted sense of that word. "Only under one condition, though. My parents must never realize there's something wrong with me, not even after I'm gone. If you can arrange that, I'll agree. Should I sign a contract with my blood or how does this work?"

 

[Viper]

She finally figured it out Satan thought with a chuckle that mirrored Lillian's laughter. This reaction was not unusual, although he would be lying if he said that it didn't bother him at least a little bit. Finding out that the devil was real often broke peoples reality in the modern days, he couldn't blame them for laughing as they realized that the church was telling the truth the whole time and that they were not just praying to the clouds the whole time. Still, he wished that they would be scared at least a little bit. He was the lord of darkness, the beast, the one behind all sin in the world, they should be scared for their lives. But no, here was a pitiful sack of flesh laughing at the realization without an ounce of worry for her own well being. That will change eventually though, it always does, but until then... he had to play along.


"In the flesh!" He said grandly once she managed to mostly compose herself, "Stan Lucien, also known as Satan or Lucifer depending on who you're talking to. It's a pleasure." Yours mainly he added in silently as he bowed like he was the lead character on some stage play. "It's never good to start out negotiations by admitting that you are the devil. I'm sure you can imagine why."


Satan listened to Lillian's condition with amusement. A child's loyalty to their parents... history had always had a fascination with honoring or protecting those who gave birth to you. He didn't know if Lillian honestly cared about her parents well being or if she felt like she owed them and honesty it didn't matter. Whatever the reason, all he had to do to get Lillian to agree to the deal was make sure that she kept acting normal when around her parents, easy. "That should be no trouble at all. You're almost all grown up, by the time this year is over you would be heading off to university anyways so we will just make sure that happens to plan. I give you my word that they will not suspect the switch."


"So we are agreed. I will be your best friend for 365 earth days, at which time I will gain possession over your mind, body and soul. Your parents will not realize the change nor will they be harmed by it." Once Satan finished re-stating the deal he raised a hand to the sky and snapped his fingers. This simple motion changed the entire atmosphere of the city, the day which had been cloudy to begin with suddenly turned dark and a clash of thunder rang through the air signalling that a heavy storm only minutes away. Satan glanced up at the quickly darkening sky and smirked. Aw poor thing, looks like your a bit upset that I got another one so soon. She's one more soul, one step closer to getting what I have always deserved. Just wait Father, when my time comes you will watch each of your 'precious' mortals kneel before me. And once that is done I will force you to do the same... but until that day, I will do whatever it takes. At this mental declaration a cold wave flowed through the city, causing goosebumps to form on nearly every persons body no matter if they were inside or out. It was unclear if this was God responding to the challenge or Satan's power unconscionably flowing out of him but one thing that was clear, this city was now under the eye of more than just mortals. The City of St. Julius would never be the same.


"And just like that, it is done. No blood, no contract, just a promise of words." He stated, lowering his hand back down to his side. "Don't be fooled through, no matter how much either of us may regret this decision, once a vow has been made, we are both held to it until the very end. There is no going back."

 

[Elaraal]

"Yeah, definitely, I see why some individuals might have a problem with your identity." 'Devil' was theoretically just a word composed of five letters, however it held a staggering power over people, especially when it came to the residents of this city. A mere utterance of those two syllables in a context of a shady deal would likely result in an endless parroting of all prayers known to mankind. And that was if you were lucky. Lila had no trouble imagining that some of the more radical church-goers might go a little further and, say, try to gouge your eye out with their crucifix pendant. Faith could be one hell of a drug, though admittedly, their hypothetical actions did seem sensible from a certain point of view this time. She was the one who had strayed from the path of common sense. Literature made it clear that Faustian deals never ended well for the party being tempted and Lillian had no reason to doubt sincerity of this portrayal. Life had taught her that in general, bad news were true. So why had the girl agreed? To put it simply, no price could be too high for what she was requesting.


Satan did eye her a bit mockingly when he heard the wish concerning her parents, but it didn't bother Lila. At all. Her mum and dad may have failed in their pursuit of raising her to be a good girl - as evidenced by hear eagerness to sell her soul to the devil himself - but she was their only daughter. Even if nobody else shed a single tear for her, Lillian knew that her disappearance would break their heart. Punishing them for her own selfishness wasn't really a part of the plan, even though they probably did carry some blame for how she had turned out in the end. Parents tended to damage their offspring in some way, albeit usually unintentionally. "Fine, glad to hear that. Oh, and it would be nice if I was admitted to some top-tier university, you know, to make them proud." There were few things as surreal as discussing the fate of your replacement after you got dragged to hell, yet Lila also found it strangely soothing. Preparing for entrance exams had been a lot of stress. Not having to spend her time buried in textbooks was a nice bonus, even if only because she wouldn't be around for the dreaded test. Hey, I'm finally learning to see the glass half full!


"Yes, that sounds... Probably not exactly fair, but it is acceptable. I agree." She watched his movements with an undisguised curiosity in her eyes. Would he do something flashy like splitting the earth in half? And what about drawing fancy sigils, did real fallen angels do that just like the ones from the fantasy books? Apparently not because Satan simply snapped his fingers, shattering any semblance of drama. Or at least that was what she thought until the sky suddenly darkened with a promise of a storm. Lila shivered, unsure whether she had reacted to the decrease in temperature or something else, and hugged herself instinctively. "Good to know you won't bail on me. Anyway, it looks like it's going to rain, so let's go inside. I guess it's not weird now that we're friends."


It did feel weird to her, but Lillian assumed that was somewhat normal, or at least as normal as possible given her situation. You didn't acquire Satan as a best friend every day. "So, what now? How is this going to work?" Lillian asked him when they entered the house after motioning for him to sit down on a couch. "For example, do you have a place to live already or am I going to have to hide you in my closet?"

 

[Viper]

"Yes, we wouldn't want you to get a cold." Satan agreed, stepping into the household and nodding to himself with a smug level of pride. He was right of course, this girl had nothing material to offer. As far as he could tell the house was average, both outside and inside, as if most of the money was being directed towards something else. He could only guess that it had something to do with Lillian and her 'near death' appearance... medical bills probably. He needed to remember to ask about the specifics later. At her prompting he threw himself onto the sofa, crossing his legs and stretching his arms out over the back of the couch. He looked as if he had made himself at home already, although mentally he was feeling the opposite of comfortable.


For the first time in millennia he felt at a loss. While he was making the deal he felt fine, that was all routine, but now that the deal was final he was a tad bit worried. On top of ruling over hell and continuing to build up his army, now he had to spend time with this mortal on top of it all. He had to be her friend like he vowed. How in blazes do you be a friend anyway? What do you even do? He thought to himself realizing that he had never had a friendship in the past, nor had he ever even thought about finding one. Obviously Hell, where torture is around every corner and demons are made out of nothing more than negative emotions, is not a place that encourages more than just tolerating each other. Even as an angel he hadn't had any friends, angels are creatures of light, bliss and loyalty, they don't need companionship to be happy, just God's approval. Even Arch Angels, like Satan was before falling, tend to have allies and partners, not real friendships. Maybe friendship, and love for that matter, is just a mortal thing? That would explain why I never thought twice about it.... Satan thought seriously before Lillian's question pulled him back to earth.


"I can find a place to rent out nearby, that shouldn't be a problem." He answered quickly, waving her off, "I said earlier that money was worthless to me but that doesn't mean I don't have any. Besides, I will probably spend most of the time when I'm not with you back at home, I still have a job to do outside of this... friendship, after all." Since Satan was unable to think of any personal references for friendships his mind turned towards the relationships which he had watched, aka stalked, over the most recent years. What do teenagers normally do? They go to the movies, have sleepovers, and study together... which gives me an idea. "I am going to start attending your high school as well." He mused aloud, idly playing with his long hair as he spoke"Not only will it make our friendship less cryptic and sudden to your parents but it will also give us a reason to constantly be meeting up."


"By the way, do you have a cell phone?" He said changing the subject a bit. "You need a way to contact me whenever I'm not around... and I highly doubt that you're willing to kill a chicken or have one of my underlings watch you 24/7."

 

[Elaraal]

Absurdity of the whole situation finally set in as she watched her new friend make himself comfortable on the sofa matter-of-factly, so confident in his movements as if he'd known this place for years. Lillian pinched herself discretely in order to see that this wasn't just an especially outlandish dream and pain indeed confirmed it as reality. So, Satan really did agree to become my best friend in exchange for my soul. It felt like something straight out of Monty Python, except that Lila didn't understand the punchline yet. Unless it's supposed to be my life in general, which I guess is fairly hilarious in hindsight. She could have wished for anything a heart might find desirable - material wealth, recognition of her peers or even something as unreal as becoming a ruler of her own nation - and yet here she stood, bound to the dark lord himself through the promise of friendship. Who wouldn't laugh at this? Lila didn't regret her decision, however it was easy to understand it'd brand her as stupid in the eyes of pretty much everyone else. Stupid and emotional, two adjectives nobody had ever used in association with her so far. There is always a first time, huh?


Sitting down next to him should have been the most natural thing ever considering the fact they were supposed to be friends now, but feelings of awkwardness complicated it a bit. To put it simply, Lillian wasn't really used to proximity that didn't include her relatives. No romantic subtext had to be present, mere closeness in itself did enough to make her feel slightly... well, not exactly nervous, though definitely out of place. Almost as if her emotional distance also had to be mirrored by the physical one for the balance to be preserved. And so she remained on her feet, looking like a character from a sci-fi movie unable to penetrate a force-field, and desperately hoped he wouldn't notice her hesitation. Too bad they didn't give out awards for social anxiety since Lila would have collected them all. Right, I should probably do something to conceal the sad reality that I can't even act like a normal human being in front of a person I specifically hired for the purpose of becoming close. Hospitality seemed like a good excuse to get out of there for a while and calm down, so Lillian retreated to the kitchen.


"Good, glad to hear that. I'm not sure I'd handle the closet variant. Dad would have a heart attack if he were to discover you in my bedroom," she remarked loud enough for Satan to hear while making some coffee for both of them. Nobody in her family drank tea and alcoholic beverages were an outright taboo in their household, so coffee was the only thing they could offer to visitors. It didn't take long for her to return back to the living room with two cups on a cheap plastic tray, some sugar and milk. "I hope you drink coffee because we don't really have anything else if you don't count water." Satan then proceeded to tell her the joyful news of enrolling at her high school and Lila burst out laughing again. "So you're sacrificing your sanity for my sake? I guess I can't complain about your prices, then. But please, do start attending my high school, I'm sure all those nuns teaching us will be delighted." The idea of those pious women interacting with the devil himself amused her to no end.


"I am sheltered, but not as sheltered to live without a cellphone." It's not like anyone ever calls, but that's beside the point. "So yes, the chicken sacrifices won't be necessary. My number is 1-586-247-77568. Anyway," Lila finally sat down after the intense inner fight, "I'm not entirely sure how this works since I've never really had a friend, but we should probably get to know each other. Can you tell me something about yourself?"

 

[Viper]

Satan sat comfortably on the couch as Lillian made a ruckus in the other room. As he waited his silver eyes glazed around the room, taking in the family pictures and crosses hanging on the walls with amazement. As far as he could tell this was a happy, loving family who took their religion seriously. Who would have thought that such a seemingly devout family was now catering to the devil which they despised and feared so much? I can't decide if I am getting better at this or people are just getting weaker... probably both. Satan thought with pride, knowing that at least part of the reason this families values were falling apart right before his eyes was directly his fault. Most of the blame would be shouldered by Lillian though, he could tempt and bribe without end but he could not force, at the end of the day this was her fault.


It didn't take long for Lillian to return and once she had Satan took one of the cups of coffee without a word or even a glance, that is at least until he realized what he was doing. She was not a slave nor was she one of his 'children', this was a friend. So with an uncertain tone born from centuries of not having to be grateful to anyone he thanked Lillian before taking a sip of the steaming cup without adding any sugar or cream to it. As a demon/fallen angel he did not need any kind of sustenance to survive, but that did not mean he didn't partake in eating and drinking once and a while. Normally he only ate when dealing with mortals so he automatically associated food with business. Yet just like saying thank you, this was not a normal situation and it was one he would have to get used to.


When Lillian began laughing Satan raised an eyebrow at her, unsure as to what she found funny, "Sacrificing my sanity? No, not at all. I have actually enjoyed going to school whenever I pretended to be mortal, even religious private schools are entertaining. You see, there is no education system in heaven or hell, you learn while living or you die. It's a practical and on hand learning system" Satan explained casually, "There is no need to learn math or science since we demons don't live by the same rules as you mortals, not even all demons live by the same rules. Generally combat and cunning is what matters down there, not the 'laws of nature'. That being said, learning about the laws that govern your existence, or at least what you think governs them, is fascinating to me. As an added benefit, by knowing more about mortals makes it easier to control you... no offence intended" He added in afterward after a few moments of silence.


"Glad to hear it" He responded as he added her phone number to one of his many cell phones. At that current moment he had about four cell phones on him, all used to keep track of or control the other mortals he was in a deal with. This was the first time that his phone number would be used equally both ways though rather than just Satan calling the human whenever he had a demand. He sent Lillian a text quickly just so that she could add his number into her phone as well. "I doubt this needs to be said but just in case I will anyway, put the name Stan in there since that is what I will be going by while we are in public."


When Lillian sat down he couldn't help but pick up on the blatant awkwardness of the situation. Neither of them were used to this 'friendship' thing although it seemed like he was still somehow a bit more at home with it than her. "About myself? You besides that fact that I am the devil?" For a moment he was silent as he thought about how to describe himself and what he liked to do without mentioning torture or fighting, "Well I suppose I could call myself a musician. Harps, organs, singing, I enjoy listening and doing them all... I am the best at pipes and drums though." At those words Satan had a flashback to the days in heaven where he would actually lead his fellow angels in a choir where they would give praise and glory to God. Unintentionally Satan's eyes narrowed at this sudden memory, the fact that he used to do such things still disgusted him to no end. He was so foolish and blind back then. Using the coffee as an excuse to stay silent for a moment and regain his emotions Satan continued, "I actually incorporated chanting into my rituals so that when I was summoned or getting a sacrifice that I could get some added enjoyment from it. I have always found that music has the power to move the masses more so than any speech ever could."


"And you? Tell me a hobby of yours since I just told you mine." He prompted, with a motion of his hand.

 

[Elaraal]

"Really?" Lillian raised her eyebrow in what could only be described as mistrust when Satan actually began defending human educational system. Unlike the vast majority of her classmates, she didn't necessarily hate school. There were individual subjects which occasionally became targets of her loathing, certain teachers annoyed her by the virtue of acting as if they lacked any brain cells and the routine of compulsory attendance tired her from time to time, but school as an institution didn't bother her. Some aspects of it could even be joyful, like learning about topics that genuinely fascinated her. In these cases, the information provided rarely reached the depths she desired, but it was a good starting point. Still, it bewildered her that Satan of all people would find it entertaining. "That's an unexpected perspective coming from someone like you. Seeking knowledge is important, of course, but I thought that since you've been around for so long, you know all there is to know. Learning a simplified and somewhat incorrect version of something you're familiar with already doesn't sound like my definition of a fun pastime."


She took a sip from her cup, savoring the bitter taste of coffee. A small piece of utter normalcy in the middle of chaos that was her life now. It did make her slightly more comfortable with the entire situation as caffeine slowly spread into her system, though. The magical substance could apparently cure all ills. "Unless you're maybe looking for a source of comedy, then I could possibly see the appeal." But yes, from a certain standpoint, it did make sense he welcomed any opportunity to study humans in their natural environment. Lila imagined he didn't get out much aside from his little business trips with the purpose of trapping new souls, so it was easy to miss new developments. History suggested that human nature didn't really change too much, yet experiencing all the trends the twenty first century firsthand had brought could only help his cause. One question was burning on the tip of her tongue, though, and Lillian could resist no longer.


"Alright, I guess I understand your reasons, but won't you have any trouble staying in the building? It's an old monastery full of religious symbols and there's a high concentration of believers. Actual believers, not people who just nod and agree with Christianity's teachings because they're too lazy to form a coherent thought of their own. Not joking, I know these guys. To this day, I'm still surprised they haven't burnt me at the stake for not being enthusiastic enough during the morning masses. I thought you were supposed to be allergic to such environments?" As she spoke, Lila added his number, following the instructions regarding putting in the fake name. Her parents trusted her, so the idea of going through her phone probably wouldn't even come to their mind, but it was better to be safe than sorry. They could very well find out that their trust had been tragically misplaced.


Music, huh? Well, that feels... perfectly ordinary. Perhaps a little too much. Lillian didn't know whether she liked it or not, but his response gave her an ammo to continue this conversation without it sounding too forced, which was nice. "Interesting. Have you been paying attention to the music scene? Do you have any favorite groups? And what happens when your favorite musician gets to hell, does he receive preferential treatment in exchange for private concerts?" The last question was only half-sarcastic because, if she were the queen of the underworld, Lila could see herself doing something like that. And why not? Who would complain about this hypothetical arrangement if it benefited both parties? Besides, what was the point of being the devil when you couldn't even enjoy some of that sweet corruption and accept bribes? "Oh, so we're taking turns? Okay, give me a second," the girl took another sip from her cup, thinking of what to tell him. Not that she didn't have any hobbies, but they were rather... strange. Why do I even care? He's not going to judge me, not when he has to stay by my side no matter what.


"I like insects and similar creatures," Lillian shrugged. "When I was a kid, I got a book about entomology for my birthday once and I've been hooked ever since, which I guess is yet another contributing factor to my friendlessness. Is that even a word? Well, now it is. Anyway, I'm one of those creepy people who own notebooks full of detailed drawings of various creepy crawlies and I'd probably keep a colony of spiders as my pets if my mom wasn't deathly afraid of them. I think I almost accidentally killed her once when she opened my cabinet to clean it only to find my jar with crickets. Poor little things, she threw them all out back then," she sighed, evidently still somewhat bummed out by the incident. "Fine, now it's your turn again."

 

[Viper]

"I will admit, " Satan said with a chuckle and without any kind of humility, " I do know most of what there is to know in this world and the next, or at least anything worth knowing. I suppose to me learning through a mortals education system is like..." he was silent for a moment as he tried to figure out how to explain his perspective, "It's like learning the lore and controls of a video game. You know that it isn't the truth and that it doesn't really apply to you however despite that, you engage yourself fully. To me earth is like a game with lore completely different from mine own which I must learn in order to truly understand and be apart of the world I am playing in. " He doubted that it made any sense however so he just shrugged, not caring enough to try and explain it better or further. To be honest, he barely thought about why he did things. He just did whatever fit his urges and whims.


At Lillian's 'burning question' Satan burst into laughter, although his eyes shown with a hint of demonic rage. "I'm insulted that you think such petty things would be a problem for me! I am the lord of darkness, not some common spirit or low class demon! If mortals could get rid of me so easily than I would not have all of the influence I have now." At these words Satan leaned back into the couch and crossed his arms as he explained the situation more, "Besides, I am Christian. Why would I be allergic to my own beliefs? I could recite the entire bible right now or fly up to heaven and shake the hand of Arch Angel Gabriel if I wanted to. No prayer or holy light could stop me, or any of the other fallen angels for that matter, since we were once born of that very same holiness . Sadly for me and my fallen servants, no matter how much darkness and corruption we fill ourselves with, we cannot get rid of the last of that 'spark' within us. I think Father is hoping that we will change our minds and return to him one day... but that won't ever happen. I would sooner kill myself and all those who serve me rather than return to his side. Back to the point, as long as we have that last speck of holy light within us we cannot be harmed by any religious symbols or words yet demons born of pure corruption and darkness will." He sighed and help up a finger to his lips, "No need to share that though, it's better to let humans think that a few words can keep me at bay. It gives them a bit of hope, you know?"


"Sadly no, the mortal music that I have heard on earth are few in number and normally only in passing. Most of the humans that I have ever listened to where people that I had a hand in creating. For example, have you ever heard of the Pied Piper or Beethoven? I am directly responsible for both of their success. I gave the Piper the flute which could control peoples minds and I gave Beethoven the promise that he would go down in history as a great composer... and all it cost him was his hearing. " Satan chuckled after taking another sip of his coffee, "The music I tend to listen to is something that you would never be able to enjoy, it would cause you to hallucinate some rather gruesome things until you decided to popped your own ear drums out. The singing is highly infused with dark magic and it takes a high level demon to be able to resist the effects, yet if you can do so then it is a beautiful experience each time." He smiled to himself as he thought of it, it had been too long since he sat down and enjoyed a good performance.


Satan listened to Lillian speak about her insects with a focused gaze, "Insects huh? That's surprising considering the way you dress, I would have thought that you never liked to get dirty, let alone touch bugs. Glad to see that you aren't squeamish at least. I can't blame you though, I myself have had a lot of business with insects. There are a lot of demons who take the full form or some traits of insects so I encounter them a lot, however even common bugs are useful. They are better than elephants, dolphins, or any of the other worthless creatures that humans tend to be so fond of that is for sure. After reptiles and birds, insects take the third place in my list of favorite creatures God created." Satan did not mention that one of the reason he appreciated them so much was because plague spreading mosquitoes, flesh eating maggots, and crop devastating locusts had all served him well in the past as tools to torment humanity.


"My turn again hmm?" Just like before Satan had trouble thinking of what to say about himself besides his evil, cruel, and sadistic habits. Satan was thankfully saved from this though when the sharp sound of buzzing went through the air, "One moment" The devil said holding one finger in the air and pulling out a different phone than before, and looking at the caller ID. The expression on his face hardened when he looked at who it was, yet even still he stood up and took a few steps away. When Satan answered the phone he dropped his volume down and turned away, making it so that he could not be heard clearly. However two things were clear, he was speaking french and he was not happy. The phone call only lasted a minute long before he turned back towards Lillian, back to smirking and speaking English as if the break in conversation had never happened, "I apologize, that was a business call that I had to take. Now where was I....? Oh yes, I was just going to mention that I am a fan of the winter and cold. My circle of hell is mostly an icy wasteland for that very reason." He added this in a rush as if he was trying to keep the subject away from the call. He had little desire to discuss his other deals with Lillian, especially that one specifically. The nature of that deal was almost the complete opposite of this one, his french business partner was not looking for friendship that was for sure.