Kloudy
The Lore Savant
Kypher Hawthorne
Kypher drew his arms by his side out of the salute he'd been making, but he didn't seem to particularly relax in any way. His body was as tense and as rigid as before, for whatever reason.
"Motivation is a subjective word, sir. I have goals and I have instinctive urges." He glanced over at the approaching people as they came, but decided to ignore them for now. He was in the middle of something with Captain Cray right now which may or may not determine where he would be going in his life from this point onward. Kypher had to make sure his choice would be the right one.
"Sir, I aspire to be a captain in terms of a career. However that isn't my only goal. My brother was a part of the scouting regiment..." As he was speaking, Kypher glanced over to where Leanna was conversing with the kid that had had that annoying outburst. Did he really have to be so loud with his emotional tantrum? Without realising it, he had developed a scowl already, which he shaked off as he returned his attention back to Cray.
"My brother was reported to have been killed in action on a mission. However I do not believe that that is all there is to it." His neck was slightly stiff from the training, so he rubbed unconsciously, "I am a cynical person, but even my father had to admit that his disappearance was somewhat off. His body was never recovered and no one will speak of how he died, nor a single possession of his was found. The team he had been sent with were apparently completely unharmed and refused to discuss what had happened that day. Even the mission details are classified."
Kypher then leaned in close, his voice a ragged sharp whisper as his eyes gazed up into the captain's with wary determination, "I believe someone has killed my brother, someone from within the walls, sir." He leaned out, rolling his shoulders to loosen them up.
"So if I had to answer what my motivation is in a single word, it would be: revenge. Someone must pay for what they did to my brother, even if it was just a titan accident, then those large 'scum of the earth' will all pay too. I will find out what happened that day, I will learn the truth. And may the walls help whoever stands in my way. Sir." He spoke this last part in an undertone, an untold fiery determination now evident in his controlled voice, uptight and seething now that he had worked himself up about it. Just thinking about those who had betrayed his brother got his blood boiling. He would make sure they suffered an appropriate end, or by the walls would he ensure his own death.
He eventually sighed as he calmed himself down, stretching his neck to the side for a moment, "I won't lie to you, I was thinking of joining the Garrison so that I could glean some information as to the mission details, find some hidden documents that might tell me what the hell happened that day." Kypher then made a dismissive hand gesture as a thought occurred to him, "Oh, and I fully intent to otherwise fulfill my duties to the people of Humanity as a part of the military. This is not just a means to an end. For example, my aspirations for a promotion."
The cadet then glanced about him at the other students, surveying them. A lot wanted to join the survey corps. Disillusions of grandeur and misplaced honour, glory in death and power in blood. They trained to kill and they trained to be killed, that was all the lives of humanity had been for the last century or so. It was rare to find someone with an actual goal in mind, like himself. Motivation. Hah! None of these fools were motivated. They were fooled into thinking they served humanity. It granted wealth, standing, a sense of self-fulfillment. It also granted a very sudden and very gruesome end. His brother often told him just how many deaths occurred each mission, the percentage was usually higher than 50%.
"I am considering the Garrison, but I am also considering the Survey Corps. I could interrogate those that were there myself, perhaps find files privy to only the scouts, I could even visit the place my brother was last seen." A note of desperation entered his voice for a second, but he caught himself, "Sir. I need to know if I would be able to access the information I need at any point should I join the Garrison. Even if it takes me most of my life... is there a hope in hell?" A mistrustful look was sent at Captain Cray, a look of doubt, cynicism and... and hope. Cray's answer today may not end up guaranteeing Kypher to join the Garrison, but it would certainly help him make his decision. And any help he get, although begrudgingly, was more than welcome.
Angelofwishes7