Chitchat Any Confessions?

[Life.]

Spoiler

• I don't know what the hell I've been wasting my life on up until now. My dad died shortly before I got into high school. He was the only one of us who worked for no reason other than my mother's laziness. She actually got a substantial amount of cash from his life insurance but blew through it ridiculously fast. Older brother is a sociopath who needs to be put six feet under. So I've been working my ass off ever since then to provide for my little brother and sister since nobody else would.


Now I'm just questioning; why have I even bothered? Little brother is a junkie now and refuses to contribute. Sister hates me for some reason I don't fully understand. Mother continues to live in her little fantasy world despite being on the verge of being homeless, and does horrible things such as emptying out my bank account for who knows what. Got the info needed from me when I was fighting a two month long fever from what doctors were assuming at that time to be lung cancer. Finally had enough and told them I'm leaving and going to focus on greater education, which apparently makes me the Antichrist since I won't carry them despite being constantly treated like garbage. Worst part is that despite all of that I do feel bad about it.


• No matter how good or bad things in my life are going I try and listen to people when they need to vent. The intensity at which someone feels something doesn't directly correlate to the intensity of what is going on, and it's my belief that far too many people love to talk and hate to listen. That said, my patience is running really thin as of the last year. Every time I hear someone say something like "oh no I got into an argument with my friend woe is me worst day ever" I seriously want to chew them out. If that's really all that it takes to get you to cry so much then you've had a pretty comfortable ride. In the end I still listen and try to show kindness but I'm resisting the urge to roll my eyes. Not exactly proud of this, but it's where I'm at right now.


• Have serious difficulty speaking about myself. Feel like my bad news far outweighs the good so I'm concerned people may think I'm just making things up for the sake of attention. Usually just keep things to myself for that reason. Been like that for a long, long time and it was fine before. Now that I'm actively trying to change myself for the better, I'm realizing how stressful social situations can be.


• ...and boy, those social situations are really stressful. I'm not a fan of small talk, so combine that with the above and I never feel like I can connect with anyone. Not really.


• Hoooooonestly not even sure why I still come to this site any longer? I mean, it's been a long time since I've actually roleplayed. Part of that is just that I just quit what started as a 60hr/week job and turned into a 84hr/week one. Just didn't have the energy. Now that isn't an issue, yet all I really do is troll around status updates and lurk around the video game section. Even when I get hyped for something I never end up going through with positing a character app. Motivation isn't there. Could be that I'm still waiting on my desktop to get here and this junk laptop isn't enough, or it might be depression or something. Struggling with that lately, so I apologize to anyone who stumbles across this post if I've chimed in on an interest check and backed out. That could be why.


Yeah. Sorry for being a downer, but like others have said it's so much easier to let this stuff out on the net than real life.


@Ammy





I apologize that it took so long for me to respond back! I had to run some errands with my parents and I really wanted to think through a response for your confession. But the most I could do is probably be the ear here for you and say that it will get better. I admire that you dedicate so much attention to your family even when it seems as though they are not deserving of it. But I can relate to the feeling when I see someone who feels as though "it's the end of the world" for them. Too many people abuse those words. I on the other hand appreciate what I have more. A lot of people stress over tests and what not and they have asked me how I stay calm. I simply tell them, "I always think to myself that I could be in a bad situation." Afterwards they realize their mistake. Yeah...I dislike when people vent out to me and never bother to ask how I feel. I used to have a friend, in real life, who always started her conversations with either I or me. Rarely did she ask how I was. This ex-friend was also the one who broke a great friendship I had with another girl because she was jealous. Anyways I truly appreciate how you opened yourself to us, despite having a difficulty speaking about yourself. At first I would trouble talking about myself as well but as many of my real life friends came and go this was the only place where the same people stayed with me. This helped me to open up plus it has also helped me to release some stress. I'm truly am glad that you are wanting to reach out. If you ever want to talk some more about anything I'm free most of the time! Don't be afraid to shoot me a message even if it's to vent!


And it's okay if you don't roleplay at the moment. Most of the time I'm here more for the people rather than the roleplays. I've left this site for several months at two moments since the whole time I've joined this site. The first time I thought to myself that I would never get back on cause I would never find the motivation or the time but eventually I missed the people. That reason was the same for the second time. But take your time to find your motivation even if it means coming and going in between the site and your life.


Once again thank you for sharing and I offer you an electronic hug if you are willing to accept it

 

[Clear]

Okay. I shall participate in this. Totally not because Life made it.




When I was young I was kicking off on my little razor scooter down the road and my neighbor's dog crawled out from under their fence and chased me a good way from our homes until I climbed up some stranger's tree. It managed to nip me a few times, and my dad had to save me from the tree because I used to be afraid of heights. That is why I generally don't like small dogs.

Spoiler

I have fantasies about making friends with people I think are sorta cool, but I'm always too afraid to do anything to initiate a conversation or say anything more than a greeting so I just sorta stay invisible until I stop thinking about it. For example, there used to be someone on rpn I thought would be super cool to talk to and probably roleplay with, but when said person actually joined in on an interest check I had already expressed interest in with a friend I bailed on it because I was afraid that they would witness my horrible writing. I know it's kinda creepy, and doesn't entirely make sense to me since I don't, and have never, fantasized about romantic relationships. It's kind of silly since a few people who have met or spoken with me have said that I was "strong" or "cool" because I'm generally quiet or deal with things in a different manner than them, but they don't realize it's mostly because I'm terrified half the time and I'm not nearly as obviously reclusive online.


I realize it is kind of childish to be nervous all the time, but it is something I have been coping with for a long time.

 

[Life.]

Okay. I shall participate in this. Totally not because Life made it.


When I was young I was kicking off on my little razor scooter down the road and my neighbor's dog crawled out from under their fence and chased me a good way from our homes until I climbed up some stranger's tree. It managed to nip me a few times, and my dad had to save me from the tree because I used to be afraid of heights. That is why I generally don't like small dogs.

Spoiler

I have fantasies about making friends with people I think are sorta cool, but I'm always too afraid to do anything to initiate a conversation or say anything more than a greeting so I just sorta stay invisible until I stop thinking about it. For example, there used to be someone on rpn I thought would be super cool to talk to and probably roleplay with, but when said person actually joined in on an interest check I had already expressed interest in with a friend I bailed on it because I was afraid that they would witness my horrible writing. I know it's kinda creepy, and doesn't entirely make sense to me since I don't, and have never, fantasized about romantic relationships. It's kind of silly since a few people who have met or spoken with me have said that I was "strong" or "cool" because I'm generally quiet or deal with things in a different manner than them, but they don't realize it's mostly because I'm terrified half the time and I'm not nearly as obviously reclusive online.


I realize it is kind of childish to be nervous all the time, but it is something I have been coping with for a long time.


Oh hiya @Clear


And aawww poor little Clear. These types of events are what irritates me about dog-owners sometimes. If they don't watch their dogs or at least ensure that the boundaries are kept, it can lead them to misbehaving and sometimes they don't realize that they could traumatize little children.




I used to do that sometimes where I would hesitate to join a roleplay because of certain users, but once I saw that some users who were perhaps at the same level of me then were joining regardless I decided why not! This in turn motivated me to write in front of the user that I was afraid that judgment may come from them. But never did they judge or whatnot. And it's funny because I have been told on a few occasions that some people were wary of joining because of me or that they wanted to improve their writing because of me. This showed me that it's okay to be afraid. But it's best to try and show them what you got! Who knows maybe you might become their idol!

 

[macathan]

Spoiler

-I had it rather rough growing up, including a small period of time where we needed to wait two or more days in order to eat and I skipped a lot of school because of my family lacking money.


-I have a very hard time understanding other people. Why are you so judgemental? Why does skin colour matter? Why are we better than the Russians and Americans? Why can't you stand up to the bully? Why are you bullying? Those questions kill me from the inside because I can't answer them. I guess this is why I enjoy psychology, not because I find it simply fascinating, but because I want to understand people better.


-I am an athiest, and I haven't told my parents yet. But I don't believe in god, simply because he failed me too many times. I honestly think they know, I pretend everything is okay, and do such things, but I really respect religion, I just don't believe it.


-I also have terrible problems with commitment. A, so to speak, 'commitmentphobe', and I honestly don't know why I can't finish something the right way.


Like ever.


From my painting to roleplays, I can randomly lose interest and bail out. I need something to help me with this crisis goddammit!!!!


-Another thing is, my mouth, it rarely shuts, and even when I WANT it to, if you meet me irl-


Gods no, you'd be so annoyed by all the questions and by all the weird comments I make. I talk to myself a lot, and since it's a mix of two languages, I often get looks from people like 'WTF? '.


-I'm a big show off. It sucks, I really don't know why, and I don't ever put people down, I just elevate myself on a pedestal. Since I'm smart, relatively funny, and not too bad with my looks, I'm very confident with myself, and like making it known.


-I am afraid, like really afraid of forgetting English, it's a legitimate fear because then I would lose all my ties to the world.


That's it for now I guess, I don't kniw if I want to send it though, if any spelling errors come through, please tell me so I can fix it.

 

[Clear]

Oh hiya @Clear
And aawww poor little Clear. These types of events are what irritates me about dog-owners sometimes. If they don't watch their dogs or at least ensure that the boundaries are kept, it can lead them to misbehaving and sometimes they don't realize that they could traumatize little children.

Spoiler

I used to do that sometimes where I would hesitate to join a roleplay because of certain users, but once I saw that some users who were perhaps at the same level of me then were joining regardless I decided why not! This in turn motivated me to write in front of the user that I was afraid that judgment may come from them. But never did they judge or whatnot. And it's funny because I have been told on a few occasions that some people were wary of joining because of me or that they wanted to improve their writing because of me. This showed me that it's okay to be afraid. But it's best to try and show them what you got! Who knows maybe you might become their idol!


Yeah, I mean I don't have a fear of all dogs. I have quite a few dogs myself, but they are all at least the height of my knee. It is the little ones that get me.


I wish I had that kind of courage. I get bouts or days when I'm kinda confident, but it usually fades. It is something I have been trying to work on, though.

 

[Ammy]

Spoiler

Ah, please don't apologize for the amount of time it took to post. If anything I'm impressed that you're bothering to touch on each comment individually. I find that's quite kind. Like I said before I have trouble with these sorts of things so I'm certain I couldn't bring myself to do the same. Granted, it's easier in writing rather than in person, but still.


I don't mind supporting people. I'd much rather help shoulder a burden rather than share it. Just stubborn like that; I am Irish, after all. Still though, it'd be nice if it were a two-way street.


It does suck that so many people are...well, selfish isn't quite the right word. Inwardly focused I guess? A lot of the time others don't even consider the feelings of those they confide in, like you said. Something that isn't even crossing their minds rather than actively disregarded. So I'm trying really hard to be patient again. I know a lot of that is driven by my own personal circumstances and stress right now.


It's gonna get better, but I'm gonna have to be the one to make it that. I feel like at this point I'm gonna have to clean house and start over. Means leaving all of these toxic relationships behind. Been struggling with that decision for a while. It's just such a shame. In my early twenties so I still have time to rebuild, and if this is the way they want to live then so be it. Even if my sis hates me, she's on track for a successful life. Guess I should take that as a small victory at the very least.


I appreciate the offer, but I'll try not to bug you with my rants. Thanks again.

 

[Life.]

@Lilah Tunth

Spoiler

Wow we have a lot of things in common. At least in thoughts. At some point my family was in a financial crisis as well. I never missed school though since that was the one place that could provide us with some food. Those times we sometimes only had hot dogs.


I also ask myself the same questions concerning the way people think. I never understood how people could think that way even if I am familiar with their background because someone could've been in similar circumstances but think differently. That's why I feel there is something else within us that makes us think like how we do. Currently I am debating whether I want to major in Psychology or not, but it will all depend on the introductory course I will be taking this semester.


I am also an atheist! At least for Western beliefs. As for Eastern I am somewhat a believer in karma, reincarnation, and other worldly forces. I don't believe there is a single god that oversees us all but rather spirits who watch over us as we go through life.


Many of us have trouble with commitment...I find it difficult to find the energy and time for one thing...unless it's binge watching...somehow I always find the time for that...


I'm not much of a talker but I enjoy people who talk a lot sometimes. Especially when they tell me stories or whatnot. It keeps me entertained and fills the awkward silence.


Oh what is the other language you speak?


Sometimes I feel it's fine to feel great about yourself now how much you show off could make others uncomfortable.


And thank you for sharing all this~


It was interesting to learn about some of the things you said because there was some things that we had in common. And your English was fine. I saw no major mistakes and understood everything.

 

[macathan]

Spoiler

Wow we have a lot of things in common. At least in thoughts. At some point my family was in a financial crisis as well. I never missed school though since that was the one place that could provide us with some food. Those times we sometimes only had hot dogs.

That sucks, personally I would be happy if this never happened to anyone.

I also ask myself the same questions concerning the way people think. I never understood how people could think that way even if I am familiar with their background because someone could've been in similar circumstances but think differently. That's why I feel there is something else within us that makes us think like how we do. Currently I am debating whether I want to major in Psychology or not, but it will all depend on the introductory course I will be taking this semester.

I am glad we can relate to that.

I am also an atheist! At least for Western beliefs. As for Eastern I am somewhat a believer in karma, reincarnation, and other worldly forces. I don't believe there is a single god that oversees us all but rather spirits who watch over us as we go through life.

Same here, something more pleasing about a higher force than one man, amirite?


Though I agree more with Einstein.

Many of us have trouble with commitment...I find it difficult to find the energy and time for one thing...unless it's binge watching...somehow I always find the time for that...

xD


Not me though, I can't finish any anime I've binged, except for Tokyo Ghoul and Death Note.


Durarara is still waiting for those last to episodes and so is Joker Game.


And a bunch of other ones I won't name.

I'm not much of a talker but I enjoy people who talk a lot sometimes. Especially when they tell me stories or whatnot. It keeps me entertained and fills the awkward silence.

Ah, that's the difference with you and me than.


I enjoy talking a lot.

Oh what is the other language you speak?

Russian.

Sometimes I feel it's fine to feel great about yourself now how much you show off could make others uncomfortable.

xD


Nah, I'm too subtle.

And thank you for sharing all this~
It was interesting to learn about some of the things you said because there was some things that we had in common. And your English was fine. I saw no major mistakes and understood everything.

Good good, because writing on an iPad pisses me off.


Thank you for listening, goodness knows not a lot of people do.

 

[Myxyzptlk]

My Confession

I always distinguish a debate from a personal opinion. Different threads and questions can call for different things. There is a difference between when someone asks who you're voting for and sometimes why. Then there is when someone asks why you believe your opinion is right in comparison to another and then it is open for debate.


But when I share my personal opinion and someone starts attacking me about things I didn't say or attempt a debate I almost immediately grow a hatred for the person that attempts the debate. For example, one time I posted on someones status my opinion on Gender, that being I believe it is rather simple to me that there are only two and it feels a little overcomplicated that someone could fluctuate between those two genders at will. But then someone, I won't state who, randomly posts about me being ignorant and that people didn't have to "conform" to my beliefs which was something I never even mentioned nor said followed by something like "how did a genderfluid person affect you?" Which was completely irrelevant to my opinion and that I never stated anything about hating genderfluid people either.

 

[Life.]

My Confession I always distinguish a debate from a personal opinion. Different threads and questions can call for different things. There is a difference between when someone asks who you're voting for and sometimes why. Then there is when someone asks why you believe your opinion is right in comparison to another and then it is open for debate.


But when I share my personal opinion and someone starts attacking me about things I didn't say or attempt a debate I almost immediately grow a hatred for the person that attempts the debate. For example, one time I posted on someones status my opinion on Gender, that being I believe it is rather simple to me that there are only two and it feels a little overcomplicated that someone could fluctuate between those two genders at will. But then someone, I won't state who, randomly posts about me being ignorant and that people didn't have to "conform" to my beliefs which was something I never even mentioned nor said followed by something like "how did a genderfluid person affect you?" Which was completely irrelevant to my opinion and that I never stated anything about hating genderfluid people either.

Spoiler

Ah yes...I've seen way too many disputes over this. Not the gender part (but yes there are many arguments about that) but rather the idea of opinion and debate. I feel like piping in my opinions sometimes on topics but then think if something like this occurs to me. As much as I enjoy talking to new people, sometimes they jump too fast to conclusions and do not allow explanations from others. Sometimes they get really defensive easily and I wonder to myself if they didn't want to have these disputes come up, why post at all? I understand that maybe they've been told too many times that their opinions don't matter or perhaps something happened to them in the past to make them like this and blur the differences but it doesn't help their case in wanting to voice their thoughts. But I mean this is something that cannot be avoided. This kind of thing even applies to the current US presidential campaigns! The supporters on both sides are feuding over opinions and debates! I try to avoid stating my opinions as much as I can since I dislike disagreeing with people and getting into arguments with them. I can't help it but it makes me either mad or feel bad.

 

[SimpleGuy]

My confession is that I really really don't like my GFs fam too much. Don't get me wrong they are good people but they aren't the best whatsoever. They spend incredible amounts of money on cigarettes when their phone bill is through the roof because they refuse to buy wifi when their phone bill is about 3k a month (incredibly insane). Just he other night my GF ate beans for dinner that's it. She doesn't normally eat much other than dinner which pisses me off enough because there isn't a whole lot of food at their house. Just this morning her phone was cut off so we haven't talked at all today. Her parents are terrible together and haven't separated even though they fight a lot. They have both cheated on eachother and are all in all terrible with eachother. Her mother works at a gas station and I know some people are stuck with crappy jobs but her boss treats her like crap and because of her standing all day she has had to have surgery on her knees. She has worked there for several years and refuses to work at a job that is better even though she could easily.


On top of all that BS they have not let her get her license ( she is 19 gonna be 20 in January ) she hasn't gotten a car or anything like that because they can't afford it.


I've grown up in a conservative family that is very close we see eachother often and hold family really high where as her family is not as close as mine. My mother has been a single mom for years having to work 2 or 3 jobs to support us but no matter what she put me and my sister and brother at the top of her priorities. My GFs family doesn't do that.


You can see why I'm a bit upset (sarcasm It makes me as mad as I can get)

 

[Life.]

My confession is that I really really don't like my GFs fam too much. Don't get me wrong they are good people but they aren't the best whatsoever. They spend incredible amounts of money on cigarettes when their phone bill is through the roof because they refuse to buy wifi when their phone bill is about 3k a month (incredibly insane). Just he other night my GF ate beans for dinner that's it. She doesn't normally eat much other than dinner which pisses me off enough because there isn't a whole lot of food at their house. Just this morning her phone was cut off so we haven't talked at all today. Her parents are terrible together and haven't separated even though they fight a lot. They have both cheated on eachother and are all in all terrible with eachother. Her mother works at a gas station and I know some people are stuck with crappy jobs but her boss treats her like crap and because of her standing all day she has had to have surgery on her knees. She has worked there for several years and refuses to work at a job that is better even though she could easily.
On top of all that BS they have not let her get her license ( she is 19 gonna be 20 in January ) she hasn't gotten a car or anything like that because they can't afford it.


I've grown up in a conservative family that is very close we see eachother often and hold family really high where as her family is not as close as mine. My mother has been a single mom for years having to work 2 or 3 jobs to support us but no matter what she put me and my sister and brother at the top of her priorities. My GFs family doesn't do that.


You can see why I'm a bit upset (sarcasm It makes me as mad as I can get)

Spoiler

I shall stay dedicated to responding to every confession! But this one may be the hardest for me yet. I have never dated anyone so I am unfamiliar with the relations between two people intimately but I know that this kind of scenario can be similar to that of a best friend. I totally understand when a family appears so dysfunctional but that they inflict upon themselves. I've seen way too many families of friends that commit this. It is frustrating that they continue making the same mistakes when you know that if they change a little it would be better for them. I will never truly understand what goes through a parent's mind when they don't put their child first. It hardly seems like they're parents if they don't put their children first. I don't mean to make children sound selfish but even parents themselves say that the children goes first. Growing up I understand this now because if I were to have a child now I would want to see them happy and successful.


It hardly seems fair that they don't allow her to make her own decisions. To think that despite the decisions they're making they won't allow her to make her own. Hopefully in the near future some lucky opportunity comes her way where she realizes that she can choose what she wants to do and show them that they could be having a better lifestyle with change.


And kudos to your mom! What a strong woman she must be! I look up to women like her! Thank you for sharing your emotions concerning your relationship. I do hope that eventually some circumstance helps them out and opens their eyes to the possibilities they have and the happiness each of them could receive. And that you and your girlfriend continue to love each other.

 

[SimpleGuy]

I shall stay dedicated to responding to every confession! But this one may be the hardest for me yet. I have never dated anyone so I am unfamiliar with the relations between two people intimately but I know that this kind of scenario can be similar to that of a best friend. I totally understand when a family appears so dysfunctional but that they inflict upon themselves. I've seen way too many families of friends that commit this. It is frustrating that they continue making the same mistakes when you know that if they change a little it would be better for them. I will never truly understand what goes through a parent's mind when they don't put their child first. It hardly seems like they're parents if they don't put their children first. I don't mean to make children sound selfish but even parents themselves say that the children goes first. Growing up I understand this now because if I were to have a child now I would want to see them happy and successful.
It hardly seems fair that they don't allow her to make her own decisions. To think that despite the decisions they're making they won't allow her to make her own. Hopefully in the near future some lucky opportunity comes her way where she realizes that she can choose what she wants to do and show them that they could be having a better lifestyle with change.


And kudos to your mom! What a strong woman she must be! I look up to women like her! Thank you for sharing your emotions concerning your relationship. I do hope that eventually some circumstance helps them out and opens their eyes to the possibilities they have and the happiness each of them could receive. And that you and your girlfriend continue to love each other.

Thank you for the response it's nice to get everything out there for others to see. She is joining up with the navy and is shipping out in March unless she gets a contract for an earlier date. While I am sad I won't be able to see her much I'm happy that she is finally living her life how she wants to.

 

[Life.]

Thank you for the response it's nice to get everything out there for others to see. She is joining up with the navy and is shipping out in March unless she gets a contract for an earlier date. While I am sad I won't be able to see her much I'm happy that she is finally living her life how she wants to.

Oh I am glad to hear that! I salute her for wanting to join a well-respected organization! I wish her well on her training and on your guy's relationship~

 

[SimpleGuy]

Oh I am glad to hear that! I salute her for wanting to join a well-respected organization! I wish her well on her training and on your guy's relationship~

Thank you friend

 

[Life.]

Another one of my confessions:


Anytime someone addresses "life" in their status or conversations I'm tempted to say something back funny since my username is Lifenovel but I fear what the responses may be or the emotions I may evoke that I did not intend to bring on the user.

 

[LegoLad659]

Another one of my confessions:
Anytime someone addresses "life" in their status or conversations I'm tempted to say something back funny since my username is Lifenovel but I fear what the responses may be or the emotions I may evoke that I did not intend to bring on the user.

To be fair... I would too xD


Are you compiling a novel of all our lives?

 

[SimpleGuy]

I love walking bare foot places. Keep in mind I live out in the ass end of nowhere so it's not like I'm walking on concrete that's gross. I just like walking with no shoes or socks. It's just a me thing lol

 

[Life.]

I love walking bare foot places. Keep in mind I live out in the ass end of nowhere so it's not like I'm walking on concrete that's gross. I just like walking with no shoes or socks. It's just a me thing lol

I tried bare foot walking once...I have sissy feet.

 

[LegoLad659]

I tried bare foot walking once...I have sassy feet.

FTFY ( )

 

[Dante Scott Auditore]

A sad confession I have is: I can't talk to girls. I'm way to shy in person. I end up flirting to start a conversation and well it makes me look bad.....

 

[Life.]

[QUOTE="Dante Scott Auditore]A sad confession I have is: I can't talk to girls. I'm way to shy in person. I end up flirting to start a conversation and well it makes me look bad.....

[/QUOTE]
Oh that's okay! It's understandable if it's difficult to talk to girls! My sister has trouble talking to guys, face to face of course, online it's no trouble for her. It can be scary talking to someone of a different gender or really just someone different considering you aren't aware of what their views or beliefs are and no one knows if they maybe stepping into the boundaries of a touchy subject.

 

[SimpleGuy]

I wanna become a swordsman. Cheesy and maybe cringy but yeah I wanna become a swordsman

 

[Life.]

I wanna become a swordsman. Cheesy and maybe cringy but yeah I wanna become a swordsman

That's not cheesy or cringy~


I have far off dreams of one day learning maybe glassworks or woodworks. And also learn mixed martial arts.

 

[Dante Scott Auditore]

Oh that's okay! It's understandable if it's difficult to talk to girls! My sister has trouble talking to guys, face to face of course, online it's no trouble for her. It can be scary talking to someone of a different gender or really just someone different considering you aren't aware of what their views or beliefs are and no one knows if they maybe stepping into the boundaries of a touchy subject.

I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one thank you!