Story A Trail in the Dark

Irish_Dragon_76

Senior Member
A weathered, worn man walked along the path of a dark forest, careful to stay within the confines of the grey, gravel trail. In his hands, he clutched a peculiar wooden figure, like a crudely made doll of sticks, held together by a red ribbon. He walked slowly, dragging his feet along the long, seemingly endless trail; his eyes were pointed to the ground and never once looked up.


“You have walked for some time now, old friend…” A voice spoke, like a deep whisper in the silent wind. The man did not reply, nor did he bother to look up; he continued to drag along the path. “This burden of yours, weighs on you too harshly…” The deep, soft spoken voice continued. “Give it to me, instead, so your burden may be forgotten…”


“Quiet, Omen…” The man whispered behind gritted teeth.


“Do you not remember what this relic you hold is? What it means? Or is it all you have left to remember?” The voice continued on.


“You will be quiet!” The man shouted, coming to a complete stop on the trail. He did not look towards the direction of the voice, not bothering to even try and make any sort of eye contact. His face was that of a tired old man, but quickly filled with rage as he tightened his grip on the wooden doll. “You know what this is and only wish to fool me once again, as you have before…” The man mumbled as his anger faded and his eyes looked back to the ground. “Once I make it to the end of this trail, you will have no more tricks to save your pitiful life.” The man added as he continued to walk, his dragging now turned to stepping.


“Foolish man!” The voice spoke, almost yelling at the the man. “You know nothing of that there bauble and what it is, but I do!” The Voice went on, speaking with great concern. “I know what you did for that, the price paid for it…”


“We BOTH know, damn you!” The man screamed, turning to face the dark line of trees that now stood between him and the voice that followed him. Nothing could be seen through the infinite dark, but the man knew something was there. He held back tears as he spoke, unable to ignore the memories any longer. He looked down at the doll, unable to take his eyes off the red ribbon, which hung loosely from the wooden sticks that made up the horrible doll.


“It was you or her, and you chose very wisely…” The voice spoke again, returning to a soft tone. “Until now, that is… You have allowed guilt to take you once again, and now it will kill you out here.” The voice went on, still speaking softly, as a concerned friend would speak. The man slowly turned his head to look what was ahead of him; the trail finally had an end. He began to walk once again, almost running now. The trees rustled violently at his side, as though a wild beast shook them as they passed by. “Give me the doll you insolent fool!” The voice, which tore passed every tree the man was now running passed, screamed. The man did not answer as he ran, jogged, sprinted down the trail and entered an opening, which was a large circle of the same white gravel as the trail; in the middle of it all was a pit of blackened gravel which was divided from the rest of the small stones by a ring of grey rocks.


“I am all you have now, man… Do you wish to lose that as well?” The voice spoke, almost desperately. “Man, is our friendship nothing now?” The man walked to the pit, looking into the shallow hole that the blackened gravel laid in; he turned his sight to the doll once more before tightening his grip around it.


“You are nothing more than a bad Omen, and I shall release you of that now…” The man said without emotion. He placed the doll in the pit and backed away; within moments, a spark sputtered and the doll caught flame. The voice shrieked as the flames spread across the entire doll and the forest shook as though a terrible wind blew across every branch. The man watched the ribbon slowly burn away in the heat of the fire, ignoring the trees shaking violently and the shrieking of the voice. As the last of the doll, the sticks and the ribbon alike, were burned to ash, the shaking ceased and the screams were replaced by sudden silence. The man stood in the dead silence, looking at the dark pit for moments, hours possibly, before sitting on the cold, dark leaves of the forest. He felt nothing as he sat in the darkness, surrounded by the black trees that covered the grey sky. The man didn’t remember when he walked into the forest, nor did he really care, all that mattered was it was over now and that he’d wait there, wait for something to come by, something to call a friend.
 
This "her" that was referenced... did he end up throwing her into flames, too?

Seems a bit late to be replying to this, but that's a good question actually... Rereading it, I feel like it deserves something of a prequel. I've no idea what happened to "her" other than she was quite obviously killed. I believe the original idea was that, in order to banish the Omen, a sacrifice had to be made. Honestly, the mechanics behind the whole thing doesn't make too much sense; sacrificing someone in order to simply replace what you want to banish seems a bit redundant...

If you don't mind me asking, does it read well? I feel like my writing style is a bit rough, even now, and it'd be great to get feedback on the style of writing.
 

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