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Untitled. The spitting anger The blank mind I turn around from my retreat And spit out more vitriol I'm not done yet.

Untitled. You conciously wish to be different, to subvert When those who are and those who do never wished for it in the first place.

Untitled. Lord knows I wish I didn't speak To be outspoken is a gift, my mother told me But with my playful jabs and quips My passionate interjections I've ruined everything Everything.

Untitled. You've convinced yourself you're a god when your life is the cautionary tale God tells.

Boys don't cry So shut up Shut. Up. You're not a man. You're fifteen again. Quivering under the glaring lights. Trying to call for help but you only sob. Look around the corner, it's empty. He's not here. Not yet. A door opens. You hear his voice. He comes and greets you, asks if you're...

Timotheé. "Hey you share a name with that actor guy-" Yeah I know. And I share striking similarities with his character, Elio, right? Just because I'm gay, a brunet and a mess doesn't mean I'm the same goddamn- Ohhhhhh...

My boy. You fit against my chest as if we were made for each other. My eyes are fixed ahead and I feel slim fingers intertwine with mine and I smile. Your voice rings out from behind me. Your laugh fills my empty dark house as you throw open the curtains. You're my light. My world. My...

Untitled. Your fingers press into my shoulder I can feel it Nirvana. My name sounds so much sweet coming from your lips. How is that so?

Stop. The sting is like an old friend. I dig deeper. Harder. Yes there it is. I feel better already Why did I ever stop? Timotheé stop! Please stop! You'd promised you'd stop! Your sobs fill my ears. The smell of blood overwhelms it all. Ah. That's why.

The smoke. It's not something I'm proud of. I see you wrinkle your nose when you kiss me. You don't tell me when the ashes get in your eyes you just tear up and suffer in silence. I wish I could stop. For you. It's bleeding me dry. My fingers are burnt. I smoke to the filter. Every time I...

Untitled. "Y'know, maybe if you stop smoking, you'd be happier!" Ah yes, I know that, do you have a lighter? I left mine at home.

Untitled. I am aware of it. And I hate that. I wish I was delusional. That I didn't know how badly I'm spiralling. I know those things aren't real. I know my mind is fighting against me. I know it's all inside my head. So why is it still there?

Imposter syndrome My, my, So you think I am worthy of anything I have accomplished? I'm not. I haven't earned anything. I don't deserve anything.

Ghosts. It's fun. To look back on things. Sitting in the multi-story carpark sharing a bottle. Taking off our boots and running away from security. Exploring abandoned places. The smoke trailing behind us as we shove each other and laugh. Those ghosts of us still run around that carpark. I...

A few mindless babbles. A vent, if you will. Overly edgy, pretentious I may as well criticize myself now before anyone else does. It's defense mechanism. Childish, artless Lacking in structure or reason. There. Now, trigger warning. It is a vent in every sense of the word. I'll just type...

decay my love. decay with me. your beautiful white dress is so bright against the damp grass. how it remains so pure among the dirt i will never know. you are too pure for this world. now you are no longer in it. next to you i look pitiful. dark red waistcoat and white shirt. my skin is...