y’know, when i really want to torture myself, i look through my old pm’s and see how cringe i used to be. i also see rp’s that i genuinely liked that i left hanging because i forgot to reply. if i’ve ever left you hanging, no matter how long ago it was, pm me fr we can start it up again after like months it’ll be funny. 110% serious. just pm me and we’ll just start up again.
so...yup. i’m quitting for the foreseeable future. the sudden end to one particular roleplay sort of did it for me. bullshit to the people who say it’s bittersweet it’s just bitter. it was a roleplay that was such an escape for me, a whole new world and it got me through some shit times but right when the shittiness was at it’s peak it just ended. i mean i get it, i get it. you get bored while someone is away but i still feel a little hollow without it. i mean a thing that you put so much time into, had so many ideas for and so many good memories tied to just ends, it’s hard. like when a play you’re in finally does it’s final run. you’ve been doing rehearsals and fussing over costumes and remembering lines and then, you don’t need to remember any of that because it’s over.
it’s just kind of been made worse because there’s no neat conclusion. our characters are just frozen in time, probably forever.
i don’t even really know if anyone is reading these or if it’s just crazy old greedy talking to himself. it’s probably the latter. typical.
i’m a little bitch i know but i’d rather be a little bitch than a massive dick. oh wait.
okay i’m not back completely. if i am replying, posts will be few and far between, tryna get back into the swing of things. this is mainly just a post to let you know that i’m not dead. i’m safe. i’m fine. just really struggling and tryna figure out how to sort out the mess i’ve made. i may have bursts of inspo but don’t expect too much from me.
i’m honestly so sorry to say but i’m going on hiatus. if i’m being honest i don’t have the strength to dm all the friends i made on here and tell them personally and if you think lesser of me because of that, i understand. i have made many, many mistakes in my life and they’re all catching up to me. i’m not proud of those mistakes anymore. i’m a cocky delinquent and i used to view all the shitty stuff i did as braggable accomplishments. right now i’m in a position where i have a hell of a lot more time on my hands so that’s not the issue. the issue is i seriously need to get my life back on track before i can return. you don’t deserve half-assed responses and no engagement. last time i went on hiatus i lost friends and rp’s were abandoned. if that happens i just want to say, the memories were fun and there is no bitterness there at all.
i’ll be back. i always come back but i honestly don’t know how long it’s going to take me to get things right again. i’ll miss you all and again, i’m so so sorry it had to be like this. to say i’m weak-willed is a bit of an understatement.