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All of the players in the game @zippy is in are marveling in awe. You do excellent work!

You might consider providing an example of word count, subject/prompt, typical expected turnaround time and so on. A few details may draw the better writers on this site.

Graphic but very tight work. Nicely done!

Since you asked... :) Like Raspberryrose, agreed on the squid action scene. Action's hard to write for anyone. One tip is to pace out spots of thoughtfulness and stick them in spots where there's a break in the action. For example, he stabs the squid's tentacle, stabs it four or five...

Writing is like forgiveness; it's easy in theory until you have to do it yourself. ;) Which is to say, it's been my experience doing business writing at my company that it's always easier to edit someone else's work. Mostly because you can't mind read the author so you're totally dependent...

Some notes: Her comment about "I never lied to you or her" really makes me wonder who she's talking to. "Rough school, rough neighborhood, weak old me" is a sexy, sexy line. <3 Is Miss Pyrope the speaker or her sister? Or is she the one being spoken to? "But stupid untrusting me will...

Thanks for accepting it! Naturally these are just my impressions on reading the piece and, as an author, you should absolutely keep or disregard based on what works for you. One of the hard things about putting fiction out on a public forum is the challenge for you to write for a specific...

@SkyGinge It's kind of you to offer to read! If you have critique to give, you might as well make it public. That way it'll be useful not only to me but to anyone else who happens to read this thread. :) @FeMChara Thanks! The idea for the blood doll(s) came out of reading Clanbook...

Update: Edited mostly for formatting, adding bold and italics to emphasize dialogue and inner thought. Also switched up the ending a bit, given I hadn't actually closed that particular plot thread... The joys of the first draft!

This is a bit of fiction for @Esbilon and his Tale of the Crone V20 game. Mostly written as an exercise in getting in character with my Lasombra (after having not played Vampire since the 1990s). Although this fiction is written for fun, critique and suggestions on writing better are always...

Some notes: Second paragraph, 3rd and 4th sentences both start with she. Sentences usually read better if you don't start them the same way several times in a row. Very nice opening imagery in general. I get a very clear mental picture reading without having to slog through pages of...