Chitchat Any Confessions?

[Life.]

Notice:


Please keep the conversations and confessions under Rpn rules~


Confessions do not have to be sins committed or anything so serious, but it can.





My Confession:


I am in the small percentage of girls that do not enjoy shopping. I grew up appreciating second-hand clothes. Even now I prefer to shop in thrifty stores and garage sales rather than actual stores except when it comes to under garments. Always shop for new shoes, bras, and underwear. I fear what goes on with secondhand undergarments...


Anyways so I don't like shopping for clothes but I loooooove shopping for electronics, frames, and books! Yes these are the items that I enjoy shopping for. Electronics because I want to learn the basics of them so I know what I'm buying since it is something that I want to last for a long time and frames since well that's the first thing people will see on me. Books well, they are a hobby of mine.


Well that is one of the many confessions I will be sharing to y'all! I shall post more as they come along in my mind!


So I want to hear some of yours! Got any weird confessions? Perhaps maybe an old secret that's funny now? Or maybe an action that you often do?

 

[LegoLad659]

Foreword: This isn't a funny confession, or anything silly. It's a legitimate confession about something I really feel very guilty about, and haven't been able to change.


The Confession

I'm going to be 100% honest. I have a difficult time committing to a project until it's completely done. @Darkiplier and @Daisie both know this well, as they asked me to create stories for them months ago and I still haven't finished them. Sorry, guys :/


Even my own personal projects, I'll get really excited and make good progress on them until they're about halfway done, and then I just... Stop. I still want to get them finished, but I keep telling myself that and I never actually get anything done. I had an ambitious Minecraft adventure project in mind for my sister that, again, I only got about halfway through before I stopped working on it. I have a Fan Fiction that's the best received piece of work I've ever written, and yet it's been sitting there for almost two years, still unfinished.


I have a real problem with this, and I feel absolutely awful every time I think about it ( )

 

[Life.]

Foreword: This isn't a funny confession, or anything silly. It's a legitimate confession about something I really feel very guilty about, and haven't been able to change.
The Confession

I'm going to be 100% honest. I have a difficult time committing to a project until it's completely done. @Darkiplier and @Daisie both know this well, as they asked me to create stories for them months ago and I still haven't finished them. Sorry, guys :/


Even my own personal projects, I'll get really excited and make good progress on them until they're about halfway done, and then I just... Stop. I still want to get them finished, but I keep telling myself that and I never actually get anything done. I had an ambitious Minecraft adventure project in mind for my sister that, again, I only got about halfway through before I stopped working on it. I have a Fan Fiction that's the best received piece of work I've ever written, and yet it's been sitting there for almost two years, still unfinished.


I have a real problem with this, and I feel absolutely awful every time I think about it ( )

Mmm I appreciate your courage in opening up to me.


I understand that feeling of not completing something. I not only do this with writings but things as well. Currently I have an unfinished art sculpture lingering in my room. It kills me everytime I see it because I habitual tell myself, "Oh I'll get to it when I have the time."


This also applies to me buying things and never using them. I begged and begged my mom to buy me a piano, and to what result? Me giving it to my brother


Never learned to play the piano. Recently I asked my mom to buy me a violin, luckily used, and I have yet to touch it.


On this website I have been planning to re-work a tutorial. I haven't touched the document ever since I created it. I have left roleplays midway without a word. One I left and could've been a success. I have even left roleplays that I started myself. [i'm sorry my dear friends @Cross_Rhodes & @White Masquerade. This has always bothered me when I left the HxH roleplay.] There are just so many things I want to do but other things that demand my attention.


It is a hard feeling my friend. But one I am almost sure we all share in some way.

 

[LegoLad659]

It kills me everytime I see it because I habitual tell myself, "Oh I'll get to it when I have the time."

This, this is exactly how I feel too. Both how I feel about it and the excuse I constantly give myself.


At this point I can really only hope that eventually I will finish something; I will finish my Fan Fiction story for the people who love it, I will finish that origin story for Daisie's character, and various other personal projects that have a beginning but no end because I was too lazy to give them a glance after a while, because I kept telling myself that I have plenty of time and I'll get to it when I feel like it. And honestly I think that makes me a [EFF!]ing disgrace.


I hope things get better, both for me and for you ( ) Hopefully one day you'll finish at least one of your projects. All we both need is a bit of motivation to actually go and do them, I think.

 

[Life.]

It is a difficult situation to go through but eventually we will overcome it somehow~


Motivation is probably what we need. Sometimes maybe even a nagging voice by our ear could help~


But at some point our minds will probably decide it is time. We will forcefully sit ourselves down and proceed with our unfinished projects. May it be that time where we learn to adapt to time!


I can see why now that elderly people complete many things since they have the time.

 

[LegoLad659]

It is a difficult situation to go through but eventually we will overcome it somehow~
Motivation is probably what we need. Sometimes maybe even a nagging voice by our ear could help~


But at some point our minds will probably decide it is time. We will forcefully sit ourselves down and proceed with our unfinished projects. May it be that time where we learn to adapt to time!


I can see why now that elderly people complete many things since they have the time.

I certainly hope so. I don't want to live the rest of my life knowing that nothing I ever try to do will remain unfinished indefinitely :/

 

[Life.]

First eliminate then motivate!


[Eliminate] those negative thoughts then [motivate] your mind that you can do it!

 

[LegoLad659]

First eliminate then motivate!
[Eliminate] those negative thoughts then [motivate] your mind that you can do it!

...Where did you get that from? O.o

 

[Life.]

...Where did you get that from? O.o

It's just came to my mind


Usually rhymes help me to get something across to my brain and ingrain it there.

 

[LegoLad659]

It's just came to my mind
Usually rhymes help me to get something across to my brain and ingrain it there.

Huh, I see. Cool ( )

 

[housekat]

Spoiler

..confessions? I guess I kinda have a irrational fear of romantic relationships :/ Like, I'm fine when reading, writing, or roleplaying romance, but that character isn't me. I just hate self- disclosure. In real life, I abhor the idea of someone pining after me. It creeps me out. Why? I'm not sure. I recently had a friend who had a crush on me, and every time I think about him, it scares me how much I'm disgusted by it. I can never go back to the perception I had of him before, a genuinely nice and innocent kid. Everything he does now feels like it has some underhanded intent, even though I know he doesn't. Blegh.


I also may have completely cut off contact with somebody that might have been remotely attracted to me. The paranoia caught up to me, and I couldn't handle the pressure. I ruined a healthy, platonic relationship because I thought they were attracted to me. If anyone were to confess to me, I probably would have a panic attack. It's happened before a long, long time ago and I think that ruined it for me. Fun times.


I really, really enjoy school. Homework is so much fun to me, and most of my classes are enjoyable (and even if they're not, the other students make it bearable.) Especially algebraic equations. Oh my god I love math and science so much. English might become more bearable after the writing I did all summer. I love having challenging classes, they really push me to do my best and the results, though most of the time mediocre, make me proud.

 

[jinkx]

Spoiler

1. I need constant validation from other people.


2. I have severe anxiety. And when I try to tell my friends/family about it, they won't take me seriously.


3. I suffer from maladaptive daydreaming. I've never spoken to anyone about it. Not even my parents.


4. Whenever I talk to people, I feel like I'm annoying them.


5. I have been in love with a girl for two years, despite her not liking me back. I know she'll never like me but I can't help myself. I really wish I could move on but I can't.


6. I feel self-conscious about how I look, even though I try not to.


7. I experience semi-regular gender dysphoria.


I'd actually appreciate if nobody responded to this, as they are issues that I am dealing with myself. I just needed to write them down to get them off my chest, so to speak. Thank you for creating this thread!

 

[BDark]

Foreword: This isn't a funny confession, or anything silly. It's a legitimate confession about something I really feel very guilty about, and haven't been able to change.
The Confession

I'm going to be 100% honest. I have a difficult time committing to a project until it's completely done. @Darkiplier and @Daisie both know this well, as they asked me to create stories for them months ago and I still haven't finished them. Sorry, guys :/


Even my own personal projects, I'll get really excited and make good progress on them until they're about halfway done, and then I just... Stop. I still want to get them finished, but I keep telling myself that and I never actually get anything done. I had an ambitious Minecraft adventure project in mind for my sister that, again, I only got about halfway through before I stopped working on it. I have a Fan Fiction that's the best received piece of work I've ever written, and yet it's been sitting there for almost two years, still unfinished.


I have a real problem with this, and I feel absolutely awful every time I think about it ( )

Same 'ere, mate.


My confession - Okay, let's not get too far, but here we go-


I'm not a good spender.

 

[Life.]

First off, I truly appreciate your guy's openness to your confessions~


@verifiedkat

Spoiler

Romance is a tricky thing and it seems as though most people see it as one way where if someone likes you then that's that. I don't think most people tend to think what the other person is feeling. For me I am not into romance at the moment because of school as well as the thought of having one person sticking around with me for the rest of my life is a daunting thing. I have also grown up to see a lot more divorced couples and the effects on the children. The last thing I want to commit is a mistake like that.


I don't see yours as an irrational fear. It is simply something that disturbs you. Perhaps some experience bad that you saw or read made you slightly cautious about romance. Your heart or mind is probably not ready to think of such things. There are many reasons why it could be but that they aren't obvious.


I have a love-hate relationship for school. I enjoy the learning aspect of it but when it comes to test I dislike school. Now I understand that some tests are necessary but for the amount given I don't think it's sufficient for the student. Many will simply learn the necessary materials then forget it.


@jinkx


I shall oblige to your wishes but I will simply say you're welcome


I feel as though sometimes it's easier to say things on here than in the real world.


@Darkiplier


I take it you spend too much? I experience sometimes the need to spend and sometimes with no reason I just want to get my hands on something new.

 

[BDark]

Indeed; especially in Disneyland.

 

[Archie]

I ate too much yesterday

 

[Life.]

I ate too much yesterday

I did too ( ) especially with sweets...and right after I did 100 squats...now I must do more squats to compensate.

 

[LegoLad659]

I did too ( ) especially with sweets...and right after I did 100 squats...now I must do more squats to compensate.

You can never have too many sweets ( )


...Actually that's not true. But you have to have a lot of sweets to have too many.

 

[Kazu]

Spoiler

Okay, so, although people think me as a boy here, I'm actually a girl. And I've had my own fair share of girl problems, being a teenager and all. And one of those problems is having romantic relationships. I was talking to an online friend, and he suddenly told me out of the blue he liked me. I didn't know what to say. I didn't like him, at all. He was depressed, however. My pity for him made me lie and say I liked him back. I was hoping maybe he'd listen to me to go tell someone if he thought we were "dating" afterwards but no. He didn't. And then he kept venting to me about how much he hated being around my other online friends and why I couldn't find other people to spend time with and how much he hated other people and so on. It finally got to the point where I exploded and told him it was off and left for a long time. We've said sorry now, but I think because of my lie I now have significantly hurt him even more. I hate even thinking romantic relationships now because of that and I hate myself even more for even thinking I would be of any help. And after all this, he still won't tell anyone so he can get help. It's just sad and frustrating.


I have this fear of thunder. It hasn't gone to the point yet where I'm starting to get panic attacks, but I've gotten really woozy and extremely scared at times hearing it. I don't know why, but my mind suddenly thinks "END OF THE WORLD!!!" when I hear thunder, and I immediately want to run to a safe spot. Not many people take me seriously though, and tell me "Why are you scared of noise?" or "thunder's relaxing!". I don't understand them. I just find it absolutely terrifying, and I wish other people would understand that it is an irrational fear and telling me that it's just a noise and it won't hurt me will not calm me down.


Oh, and I haven't eaten in over 18 hours. I'm starving. >.>

 

[Daisie]

Hmm... Confessions? Okay.


Lately I've been feeling dumb. Just really, REALLY dumb. There was a project I was working yesterday on that I literally had to restart around five times, because I just kept making the stupidest mistakes. And by the time I was done, I just felt worse about myself. There wasn't any satisfaction.


I screw up Roleplays all the time, making embarrassing mistakes like forgetting to post, making it incredibly boring, or being too dramatic and angsty. I say sorry all the time, but I still just feel like I screwed up so badly. I'm really not great at RPing.


I always compare myself to others, saying that the art that I make just isn't good enough. Because it really isn't. So far, there have only been a few impressing pictures I've made. The others just really aren't great to me. And I know that practice makes perfect, but again, it's really discouraging.


And last but not least, I hide my anxiety attacks a lot. Sometimes for no apparent reason, my heart just starts racing and I feel very spacey. And when someone asks if something's wrong, I just say that I'm fine, or a little lightheaded, unless the panic attack is REALLY bad. And after they respond 'Ok', I just go back to staring into the abyss, hiding in my own mind and praying that it goes away. It's not a great habit, probably.


So that's that. I've been depressed lately as well. I've been procrastinating quite a few things, a site friend left, and another site friend is going through tough times as well. It's been just crappy these past few days. I've just felt dumb.

 

[Deviced]

CONFESSIONS! Oh boy, lemme make a fool of myself as I very often do.


For starters, I really dislike Donald Trump. Not that it's really a confession, because if you know me irl you will definitely hear how much I do not want him to be president, but HE IS LITERALLY A WALKING, ORANGE GARBAGE CAN. WHO'S RACIST. AND SEXIST. AND HOMOPHOBIC. AND XENOPHOBIC. HE'S JUST NOT A GOOD GUY OKAY.


Ahem, moving on.


Let's see, when I was in public school I accidentally called my homeroom teacher Squidward. Twice. It wasn't a good year for me.


I accidentally sent a very... EXPLICIT Snapchat to someone who was not the intended recipient. (I was deep-throating a banana and sent it to the person I liked at the time. They unsurprisingly never talked to me again.)


I should be doing schoolwork right now but I'm not. I'm super behind in my year and I am, for whatever reason, not understanding the severity of my situation. IDK FAM I'LL CATCH UP WHEN THE SITE GOES DOWN FOR THE UPDATES.


I am really afraid of intimacy. Like, any kind, even familial. Sometimes I feel sick after kissing a family member on the cheek, and I get very uncomfortable when someone tries to express their love for me by having a deep conversation. I get terrible nausea and feel gross-- the worst part is that I know I shouldn't feel such a way, but I can't help it. It's something I'm working on though.


I am also guilty of leading people on, and I'm not sure why. I know I feel horrible when I'm lead on, so why do I feel the need to do it to someone else? ASDFGHJKL


One time I put soap in my step-mom's tea. She said it was good though.


I'm asexual and have only come out to my friends, because I know my family members won't take me seriously. But that's okay with me, I'm fine with not having them know.


I'm like, super passive-aggressive. And I give the silent treatment.


I really don't like Ariana Grande. I DON'T KNOW WHY, I JUST DON'T PLS DON'T HURT ME


I end up liking people very easily, but get scared and run away if they express the slightest interest in me D8


Lana Del Ray is my mom.


Okay, so currently I have these internet friends, and we were discussing how we would react if we ever met each other irl. My one friend was like 'I'd straight up make out with you' as a joke, and at first I was like 'haha' but now I'm sort of... well, let's just say that I definitely want to meet them irl now. Oops.


I've never kissed anyone before, but I've nearly impulsively kissed my crush in the middle of class. I saw the dimple on their cheek and I was swooning. That was a long time ago, but it was the most self-control I've ever exhibited in all my years of living.


Once I ate a friend's food and blamed it on their younger sibling. I had to intervene when knives were being swung around, but I definitely didn't tell anyone I ate it.


I would murder a minion if they were real. I have come close to strangling friends who ironically wear minion merchandise around me.


J. Cole is my dad.


Peacock by Katy Perry is my secret jam. Plus any Aly & AJ songs. Plus High School Music songs. #AllTheShame.


Gahh, that felt good! Some of those are sort of personal, but others I thought were kinda funny, though mortifying at the time. Also, shout out to everyone else who has shared their confessions in this thread. It takes a lot of courage-- and I'm 100% here for anyone who feels like chatting c:

 

[Life.]

Wow, wow, wow. Once again I truly appreciate the openness you guys are willing to show to us. I don't know why but I feel obligated to acknowledge each and every one of your guy's confessions. As a way to show my appreciation.


@Seijiki

Spoiler

It is difficult to manage romance, especially online considering none of us are aware if perhaps the person that likes us only likes the person we are online or if they actually like us the individual. I have never had anyone online openly confess their love to me but I do understand the part when it comes to depression. I have talked to users who were experiencing depression and it is difficult for me to reciprocate back the words they want to hear because honestly I do not know what they seek and I do not have much to offer except my presence to them and willingness to listen to them. And it's fine that you are not looking into relationships, it makes sense considering the circumstances you had to deal with. Romance is an odd thing to deal with, especially when it comes to online. There are so many things that are spoken online yet a lot that is not, vice versa with real life as well. It never is easy online or real life.


I have grown to begin fearing thunderstorms. These past seven months its been sporadic episodes of thunderstorms where I live. At first I would merely be uncomfortable with the sound of them but then one day we had a loud thunderstorm. There was no rain just lightning and thunder and oh were the strikes coming down. One struck too close to home, jumped the circuit board of my home. The light bursted inside the kitchen making this loud popping sound that made me jump. A few outlets sparked out currents, one shocking my brother's hand and the other shocking my dog. The AC units went kapoof otherwise everything else was working. The lights just went out for a few minutes but man was that a scary experience. The sound of the light bursting sounded like a gunshot.


@Daisie





Ah yes the inevitable comparisons between people and projects. I too do this much too often with school, friends, Rpn, and even my family. I am constantly bashing myself thinking how average I am compared to my cousins, one who won a state chess tournament (and who also knows three languages and is onto learning his fourth) and another who excels at math, a subject that I am now average at. Then there is my mom who even though says she is not smart is one of the most intelligent people I have met. She can learn processes one day and explain it to you the next as if she has known it for years.


I don't only compare myself when it comes to intellect but artworks as well. I work on sculptures because ha...drawing...no. I can do rough sketches but that's about it. But even with sculptures I don't even consider myself an amateur. I know I still have a loooong way to go, but no time


I have had some random luck with a few projects otherwise nope, can't do much more than what I got now. I couldn't even learn how to throw on the wheel and someone who was in the same class with me learned in a week.


And anxiety...I don't truly experience it unless I'm alone or in the dark. Oh do I have panic attacks in the dark. Sure people may ask me if I'm okay. I merely give a weak laugh and say, "Yeah I'm okay." But really I'm nearly having a heart attack. I just want to collapse onto the floor (if I can even see it) and just lay there.


I could say many things to tell you it's going to be alright and okay, but I dislike unknown promises so I will just say this, you are not alone when it comes to these experiences. The severity of situations may be different but many probably feel similar feelings.


@Deviced





My, my you had a lot to say didn't ya? I won't be able to respond to each one but I'll try to sum it all up to a few sentences.


I feel the same about Donald Trump although perhaps not as passionate, I feel more exasperated than anything with his antics.


I've called a few teachers 'Mom' before luckily most of them didn't hear me...


I feel uncomfortable about intimacy as well, actually I have grown to like hugs but otherwise that's it. Kisses, no. Long chats I just nod and smile. I grew up as more of the quiet and not so lovey-dovey type. I only tell my parents I love them verbally otherwise they are the only people that hear that.


And I totally understand you when you say you tend to like people too easily. Everytime I meet someone I'm cautious at first because I know if I spend too much time with them I begin thinking of questions like, "Are they thinking about me? I wonder if they talk about me? Do they like me? Wait their laugh sounded different this time? Wait why aren't they talking to me?" I grow really paranoid...and I feel I do this because I have grown up having people come and go in my life. The only people who have stuck with me are my family members and not even extended just my nuclear family. I have not had lifelong friends or neighbors who have seen since I was a baby. My extended family live too far to visit and well people have just left for other reasons.


And I love the old Disney songs too!


I'm glad you enjoyed telling us your confessions!

 

[Daisie]

Ah yes the inevitable comparisons between people and projects. I too do this much too often with school, friends, Rpn, and even my family. I am constantly bashing myself thinking how average I am compared to my cousins, one who won a state chess tournament (and who also knows three languages and is onto learning his fourth) and another who excels at math, a subject that I am now average at. Then there is my mom who even though says she is not smart is one of the most intelligent people I have met. She can learn processes one day and explain it to you the next as if she has known it for years.
I don't only compare myself when it comes to intellect but artworks as well. I work on sculptures because ha...drawing...no. I can do rough sketches but that's about it. But even with sculptures I don't even consider myself an amateur. I know I still have a loooong way to go, but no time


I have had some random luck with a few projects otherwise nope, can't do much more than what I got now. I couldn't even learn how to throw on the wheel and someone who was in the same class with me learned in a week.


And anxiety...I don't truly experience it unless I'm alone or in the dark. Oh do I have panic attacks in the dark. Sure people may ask me if I'm okay. I merely give a weak laugh and say, "Yeah I'm okay." But really I'm nearly having a heart attack. I just want to collapse onto the floor (if I can even see it) and just lay there.


I could say many things to tell you it's going to be alright and okay, but I dislike unknown promises so I will just say this, you are not alone when it comes to these experiences. The severity of situations may be different but many probably feel similar feelings.

Thank you for your words. I'm sure that in the end, it'll turn out fine. ( ) Good luck with everything you're working on, and good luck with life. If you ever need anything, shoot me a PM, I'm always happy to talk. Well, most of the time. ( )


It's good to see someone to sympathize with.

 

[Deviced]

Wow, wow, wow. Once again I truly appreciate the openness you guys are willing to show to us. I don't know why but I feel obligated to acknowledge each and every one of your guy's confessions. As a way to show my appreciation.
@Seijiki

Spoiler

It is difficult to manage romance, especially online considering none of us are aware if perhaps the person that likes us only likes the person we are online or if they actually like us the individual. I have never had anyone online openly confess their love to me but I do understand the part when it comes to depression. I have talked to users who were experiencing depression and it is difficult for me to reciprocate back the words they want to hear because honestly I do not know what they seek and I do not have much to offer except my presence to them and willingness to listen to them. And it's fine that you are not looking into relationships, it makes sense considering the circumstances you had to deal with. Romance is an odd thing to deal with, especially when it comes to online. There are so many things that are spoken online yet a lot that is not, vice versa with real life as well. It never is easy online or real life.


I have grown to begin fearing thunderstorms. These past seven months its been sporadic episodes of thunderstorms where I live. At first I would merely be uncomfortable with the sound of them but then one day we had a loud thunderstorm. There was no rain just lightning and thunder and oh were the strikes coming down. One struck too close to home, jumped the circuit board of my home. The light bursted inside the kitchen making this loud popping sound that made me jump. A few outlets sparked out currents, one shocking my brother's hand and the other shocking my dog. The AC units went kapoof otherwise everything else was working. The lights just went out for a few minutes but man was that a scary experience. The sound of the light bursting sounded like a gunshot.


@Daisie





Ah yes the inevitable comparisons between people and projects. I too do this much too often with school, friends, Rpn, and even my family. I am constantly bashing myself thinking how average I am compared to my cousins, one who won a state chess tournament (and who also knows three languages and is onto learning his fourth) and another who excels at math, a subject that I am now average at. Then there is my mom who even though says she is not smart is one of the most intelligent people I have met. She can learn processes one day and explain it to you the next as if she has known it for years.


I don't only compare myself when it comes to intellect but artworks as well. I work on sculptures because ha...drawing...no. I can do rough sketches but that's about it. But even with sculptures I don't even consider myself an amateur. I know I still have a loooong way to go, but no time


I have had some random luck with a few projects otherwise nope, can't do much more than what I got now. I couldn't even learn how to throw on the wheel and someone who was in the same class with me learned in a week.


And anxiety...I don't truly experience it unless I'm alone or in the dark. Oh do I have panic attacks in the dark. Sure people may ask me if I'm okay. I merely give a weak laugh and say, "Yeah I'm okay." But really I'm nearly having a heart attack. I just want to collapse onto the floor (if I can even see it) and just lay there.


I could say many things to tell you it's going to be alright and okay, but I dislike unknown promises so I will just say this, you are not alone when it comes to these experiences. The severity of situations may be different but many probably feel similar feelings.


@Deviced





My, my you had a lot to say didn't ya? I won't be able to respond to each one but I'll try to sum it all up to a few sentences.


I feel the same about Donald Trump although perhaps not as passionate, I feel more exasperated than anything with his antics.


I've called a few teachers 'Mom' before luckily most of them didn't hear me...


I feel uncomfortable about intimacy as well, actually I have grown to like hugs but otherwise that's it. Kisses, no. Long chats I just nod and smile. I grew up as more of the quiet and not so lovey-dovey type. I only tell my parents I love them verbally otherwise they are the only people that hear that.


And I totally understand you when you say you tend to like people too easily. Everytime I meet someone I'm cautious at first because I know if I spend too much time with them I begin thinking of questions like, "Are they thinking about me? I wonder if they talk about me? Do they like me? Wait their laugh sounded different this time? Wait why aren't they talking to me?" I grow really paranoid...and I feel I do this because I have grown up having people come and go in my life. The only people who have stuck with me are my family members and not even extended just my nuclear family. I have not had lifelong friends or neighbors who have seen since I was a baby. My extended family live too far to visit and well people have just left for other reasons.


And I love the old Disney songs too!


I'm glad you enjoyed telling us your confessions!


hehe, I do tend to go a but overboard sometimes ^^ but thank you for sharing! It actually feels good to know I'm not the only one with those little struggles that are intrusive, but don't feel 'tragic' enough to be spoken about to somebody. I think we sometimes invalidate our problems as a coping mechanism, which is quite sad. I feel as though all of our battles are relevant no matter how small, so I'm very thankful for this thread! I'll definitely stick around a while longer and maybe chat a little bit with anyone who needs it, if you don't mind terribly. Thanks again! c:

 

[Ammy]

Spoiler

• I don't know what the hell I've been wasting my life on up until now. My dad died shortly before I got into high school. He was the only one of us who worked for no reason other than my mother's laziness. She actually got a substantial amount of cash from his life insurance but blew through it ridiculously fast. Older brother is a sociopath who needs to be put six feet under. So I've been working my ass off ever since then to provide for my little brother and sister since nobody else would.


Now I'm just questioning; why have I even bothered? Little brother is a junkie now and refuses to contribute. Sister hates me for some reason I don't fully understand. Mother continues to live in her little fantasy world despite being on the verge of being homeless, and does horrible things such as emptying out my bank account for who knows what. Got the info needed from me when I was fighting a two month long fever from what doctors were assuming at that time to be lung cancer. Finally had enough and told them I'm leaving and going to focus on greater education, which apparently makes me the Antichrist since I won't carry them despite being constantly treated like garbage. Worst part is that despite all of that I do feel bad about it.


• No matter how good or bad things in my life are going I try and listen to people when they need to vent. The intensity at which someone feels something doesn't directly correlate to the intensity of what is going on, and it's my belief that far too many people love to talk and hate to listen. That said, my patience is running really thin as of the last year. Every time I hear someone say something like "oh no I got into an argument with my friend woe is me worst day ever" I seriously want to chew them out. If that's really all that it takes to get you to cry so much then you've had a pretty comfortable ride. In the end I still listen and try to show kindness but I'm resisting the urge to roll my eyes. Not exactly proud of this, but it's where I'm at right now.


• Have serious difficulty speaking about myself. Feel like my bad news far outweighs the good so I'm concerned people may think I'm just making things up for the sake of attention. Usually just keep things to myself for that reason. Been like that for a long, long time and it was fine before. Now that I'm actively trying to change myself for the better, I'm realizing how stressful social situations can be.


• ...and boy, those social situations are really stressful. I'm not a fan of small talk, so combine that with the above and I never feel like I can connect with anyone. Not really.


• Hoooooonestly not even sure why I still come to this site any longer? I mean, it's been a long time since I've actually roleplayed. Part of that is just that I just quit what started as a 60hr/week job and turned into a 84hr/week one. Just didn't have the energy. Now that isn't an issue, yet all I really do is troll around status updates and lurk around the video game section. Even when I get hyped for something I never end up going through with positing a character app. Motivation isn't there. Could be that I'm still waiting on my desktop to get here and this junk laptop isn't enough, or it might be depression or something. Struggling with that lately, so I apologize to anyone who stumbles across this post if I've chimed in on an interest check and backed out. That could be why.


Yeah. Sorry for being a downer, but like others have said it's so much easier to let this stuff out on the net than real life.