jay.rain
cityfolk relocator
[✦] sure it's a calming notion, perpetual in motion
"You're never gonna fucking believe this," Kaja announced and dropped into an empty spot beside his favorite delinquent Cash at the uncomfortable university food court table. He tossed an arm over his friend's shoulders reflexively, as casual as any other step in his 'getting comfy in a new spot' routine. However, as a consequence, when he leaned forward excitedly into the center of the table, Cash was dragged with him. Kaja bared his teeth at his friends in something that was presumably a smile, but contained too much malice for anyone to be certain. "The Prince almost hit me with his Lexus. No, shut up--" he shot a silencing glare at Roxanne, who was sitting directly across from him and still had her mouth open from where she'd definitely been about to tell him that he was full of shit. "I'm so pissed none of you were there. You should've seen me. Seriously, here he is, just ripping into the parking lot and drives straight into the spot I'm already parked in. He was two goddamn inches from the back wheel of my bike. I was like--" He jumped to his feet, finally relinquishing Cash from his death grip.
Shoulders thrown back and chin raised, he almost made for a regal sight, if not for the dusty leather jacket and heavy cowboy-style motorcycle boots. "Here, pretend this is the hood of his brand new fuckin' LC convertible." He slammed one mud-flecked boot down onto an unoccupied section of the table's surface, finally beginning to earn wary stares from the rest of the crowded university food court. "I was like 'you and your toy poodle almost hit my fucking bike!' because obviously his girl was in the passenger and she kinda has poodle energy, right? Anyway, I'm like 'you almost fucking hit me, too! But no, honestly, it's whatever, man. I wouldn't have minded! Honest! It's just that, if you'da hit me, you'd have to wash my dirty kai'mukw blood off this beautiful car." 'Kai'mukw' was a word Kaja used fairly often, the antonym being 'muma'tla'. As far as definitions go, he told people 'kai'mukw' literally meant 'person' in his mother tongue and 'mumatla' meant 'outsider'. But, in practice, the definitions were more like 'Indigenous person' and 'White person'. "I mean, fuck, dude, which member of the help would you even get to do that for you? You clearly wouldn't be the one picking up the pressure washer. Maybe the maid? By the way, can you say hi to my mom for me?"
Kaja grinned at his adoring public, most of his friends having devolved into laughter at that point. He let his head tip back, eyes darting over to the nearby table he knew the Prince and his friends were sitting at. As if he would've put this kind of show on if they hadn't been watching. His drawl, already too loud, got even louder. "Yeah, I know you've already heard this story, guys. My bad. Hey, Prince, did I get about all the details right?" Kaja came up with this rather predictable pet name for the man after one day the previous year in which the campus had been crawling with privately-hired bodyguards because the Prince's family had received a series of alarming kidnapping threats. At least the snob had had the decency to look embarrassed that entire day.
Now, Kaja met that steely blue glare with all the bravado offered by his friend's raucous, emboldening hysterics. Once it was clear the Prince wasn't going to oppose the way this embellished story had him portrayed, Kaja dropped back into his seat, floating on the afterglow of so much attention. Ever the reliable one, Roxanne didn't seem quite ready to let the cathartic scene end just yet. She leaned forward, eyes dancing with deviousness in an impressive imitation of Kaja. "Speaking of Prince, I heard his girl's a beard."
Kaja took the bait gleefully, preening. "Bullshit. If that guy was gay, he would've gone for me by now."
Roxanne's cheeks puffed with her scoff, hand coming off the table surface to flap at Kaja dismissively. "You? Kaj, please. The closest someone like you will ever get to Achilles Carnegie is maybe mowing his lawn."
Kaja relented with a sorrowful shrug, but that evil gleam in his eye seemed far from dying. He leaned back and tossed his hands up in theatrical surrender. "If anyone at this table could tap that, it'd be me. But listen, I'll gladly be proven wrong here. If any dude at this table can get between the Prince's legs, I'll give him my bike. The whole bike."
demonology
but i don't need the comfort of any lies