Dragonborn1
Member
This is a planned plot I’ve written for an animated short film. Looking for criticism from other writers. Please, tell me what You think.
Act 1:
Today is a bright sunny day. A house is shown on a hill far off a village in the background.
A man's voice calls for his companion, wondering where he must be sounding impatient.
The door was already cracked open to let his smaller friend through, revealed to be a reddish orange kobold. He runs after his much taller and older friend, heading in front of him and gaining distance. The elf chuckles and follows down the hill. The camera pans upward to show the title;
“Strings”
Act 2:
Fast Forward after the title they’re in the village walking through crowds of different races. The camera follows the pair, the elf stopping at a stall to grab a bite to eat. As the kobold eats something catches his eye. As his friend pays the vendor the kobold pulls on his garments, getting his attention. Following their pointing claw a display in the store window. What is displayed interests the kobold, a pristine violin.
The kobold runs up against the glass to stare at it like a bewildered child. The price of it however is high. The elf pulls the kobold away telling him ‘no’.
Later however when the elf is busy buying something else important, the kobold sneaks off back to the same shop from earlier. Slipping inside against his friends wishes.
Inside is a nick nack store selling random items that are on the shelf. The kobold is too short to reach the counter, pulling up a stool that makes a lot of noise and attracts the attention of the shop owner. They witness a small group of coins clattering onto the wooden counter, the kobold peeking his head over the counter, the shop owner laughing and asking what he wants to buy the kobold points to the violin. The shop owner shakes his head saying he doesn't have enough for it. The kobolds ears dip. He hops off the stool heading for the door. Once he was out of the store he peeks through the window staring at it. This is when he decides when he’ll have to steal it. The perfect time came when the owner went to address another customer.
With sly intentions the kobold plucks the violin off the display along with the bow. Once he holds it in the proper way the muscle memory floods back playing a few off key notes causing customers to plug their ears. The shop owner yells for him to put it back. Getting spooked, the kobold runs out of the store…
A chase ensues.
Act 3:
The kobold is pursued by guards shouting for him to stop, he doesn't. Using the different notes of songs he somewhat remembers sending him into wacky situations like floating in the air, manipulating objects, shooting elements out of the bow. Towards the end of the chase the violin is snapped in half during a struggle to escape. The kobold is now heart broken.
Soon the kobolds friend comes to find the scene of destruction, apologizing to them about the mess. He says he cannot pay for the amount of damage and has been kicked out of the town for good.
Later that night, the kobold is in their room thinking about their actions, he’s crying. A knock on the door prompts him to cover himself up and pretend to be sleeping. The friend enters, sitting at the edge of the bed. He’s not mad, just disappointed and questions the kobold about why he did that. The two talk for a bit about his actions.The kobold grabs a book from a nearby bookshelf, before sitting back down beside his friend. Flipping it open he stops on a page describing the druids. After more discussion the friend is hesitant about going on some adventure to find the isolated Druids. The kobold finally convinces them and they prepare the next day.
A repeat of the beginning scene is shown, but it's early morning. The two walk off towards the sunrise.
End
Act 1:
Today is a bright sunny day. A house is shown on a hill far off a village in the background.
A man's voice calls for his companion, wondering where he must be sounding impatient.
The door was already cracked open to let his smaller friend through, revealed to be a reddish orange kobold. He runs after his much taller and older friend, heading in front of him and gaining distance. The elf chuckles and follows down the hill. The camera pans upward to show the title;
“Strings”
Act 2:
Fast Forward after the title they’re in the village walking through crowds of different races. The camera follows the pair, the elf stopping at a stall to grab a bite to eat. As the kobold eats something catches his eye. As his friend pays the vendor the kobold pulls on his garments, getting his attention. Following their pointing claw a display in the store window. What is displayed interests the kobold, a pristine violin.
The kobold runs up against the glass to stare at it like a bewildered child. The price of it however is high. The elf pulls the kobold away telling him ‘no’.
Later however when the elf is busy buying something else important, the kobold sneaks off back to the same shop from earlier. Slipping inside against his friends wishes.
Inside is a nick nack store selling random items that are on the shelf. The kobold is too short to reach the counter, pulling up a stool that makes a lot of noise and attracts the attention of the shop owner. They witness a small group of coins clattering onto the wooden counter, the kobold peeking his head over the counter, the shop owner laughing and asking what he wants to buy the kobold points to the violin. The shop owner shakes his head saying he doesn't have enough for it. The kobolds ears dip. He hops off the stool heading for the door. Once he was out of the store he peeks through the window staring at it. This is when he decides when he’ll have to steal it. The perfect time came when the owner went to address another customer.
With sly intentions the kobold plucks the violin off the display along with the bow. Once he holds it in the proper way the muscle memory floods back playing a few off key notes causing customers to plug their ears. The shop owner yells for him to put it back. Getting spooked, the kobold runs out of the store…
A chase ensues.
Act 3:
The kobold is pursued by guards shouting for him to stop, he doesn't. Using the different notes of songs he somewhat remembers sending him into wacky situations like floating in the air, manipulating objects, shooting elements out of the bow. Towards the end of the chase the violin is snapped in half during a struggle to escape. The kobold is now heart broken.
Soon the kobolds friend comes to find the scene of destruction, apologizing to them about the mess. He says he cannot pay for the amount of damage and has been kicked out of the town for good.
Later that night, the kobold is in their room thinking about their actions, he’s crying. A knock on the door prompts him to cover himself up and pretend to be sleeping. The friend enters, sitting at the edge of the bed. He’s not mad, just disappointed and questions the kobold about why he did that. The two talk for a bit about his actions.The kobold grabs a book from a nearby bookshelf, before sitting back down beside his friend. Flipping it open he stops on a page describing the druids. After more discussion the friend is hesitant about going on some adventure to find the isolated Druids. The kobold finally convinces them and they prepare the next day.
A repeat of the beginning scene is shown, but it's early morning. The two walk off towards the sunrise.
End
