One x One 𝙢𝙞𝙘 𝙙𝙧𝙤𝙥

[dreamglow]

 

[dreamglow]

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• `A`ohe loa i ka hana a ke aloha.

  kanoa

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  • devil

    max changmin

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    profile

    kanoa rattanakosin

    koa

    25? 26? 27? idk

    male

    bisexual

    november 30th

    kapolei, o'ahu, hawaii

    thai

    american
  • visage

    height

    5’10”

    weight

    139lbs

    hair

    
    dark brown and also very long. if let loose it falls to about his chin, but that's rare. he almost always wears it tied back whether in a small bun or little ponytail
    
    

    eyes

    
    brown
    
    

    physique

    
    currently ectomorph. he used to be very muscular and well built but that's a thing of the past. now he barely exercises and doesn't really eat
    
    

    style

    
    only wears designer clothing. if it's a name brand, he probably has it. his wardrobe is mainly black and white
    
    

    modifications

    
    pierced left ear. “21N 100W” tattooed on his bicep (coordinates of kapolei and bangkok, where his family is from)
    
    

    face claim

    
    nani hirunkit
    
  • likes

    
    watching movies. reading. hawaiian barbecue. dancing. surfing. dogs. alcohol. partying. getting drunk. swimming. raw fish. mango. bonfires.
    
    

    dislikes

    
    the word no. thinking about things. feeling sick. cats. pineapple. mornings. snoring. people in general. slow walkers. candy.
    
    

    hobbies

    
    using sarcasm. arguing. making spotify playlists. surfing. singing and dancing (formerly).
    
    

    habits

    
    running his hands through his hair when nervous. licks/bites his lips a lot. bites his nails. drinking.
    
    

    ailments

    
    old shoulder injury that never healed properly. pretty much an alcoholic.
    
    

    fears

    
    bugs. cars. losing any more of his family members.
    

    based off of the pictures and videos that they see, most people tend to assume that kanoa's personality is that of the wild type. but honestly, it isn't really? yes, he can be very unpredictable and also way more stubborn and reckless than he used to be, but he's generally means well. mostly.
    
    it doesn't take much to irritate him now and he has absolutely no issue with letting people know they're irritating him. he's not really the violent type and instead will just yell at them and complain until they back off. koa also tends to lack a brain to mouth filter and usually says the very first thing that comes to mind, completely disregarding the overall appropriateness of the situation.
    
    ever the opinionated type, he will give his own regardless of whether or not it was asked for. speaking of things not being asked for, kanoa doesn't hesitate to call out bullshit when he sees it. thinking about lying to him? good luck. the lie won't won't even have finished forming before he's figured out the truth.
    
    having been exposed to the spotlight, koa went from hating being the center of attention to absolutely loving it and trying to be the center of attention all the time. he likes having people's eyes on him and focusing on him. when he's not the center of attention, he'll do whatever it takes to get it.
    

    psyche

    life

    backstory

    kanoa rattanakosin was born as the middle of three children, “middle” being a very loose term. he’s a twin and is the older one by five minutes, something he grew to very much enjoy. though he wasn’t the oldest of them all as danny held that title, he enjoyed bossing the “youngest”, kori, around.
    
    despite all of that, the twins had a very close relationship. always doing everything together, it was hard to tell where one began and the other one ended. but then came the auditions and koa found himself going solo for the first time in his life. when he was 14, he came across an ad for a kpop company holding auditions in los angeles and for some reason, he decided he wanted to go. kori? not so much.
    
    so kanoa flew to la with the parents and somehow, he passed the audition. soon he found himself flying to seoul, leaving the usa for the first time. life as a trainee was hard — he missed his twin brother more than anything in the world and also missed hawaii in general. seoul was completely different culturally, he could barely understand korean and nothing seemed to be going right.
    
    fast forward three years later and everything seemed to be going right. now known to the world as koa, his stage name, his group was soon making waves in the kpop industry. they were the up and coming "it" group and he was the up and coming "it" boy. the main dancer and main vocalist of the group, he captured everyone’s attention wherever the group performed. he could sing any song, hit every note, dance to anything and everything and had an amazing stage presence.
    
    it was four years after debut when he got the news. the group was backstage at an award show, getting ready to perform when his manager informed him that kori had been driving home from work when his car was hit by a drunk driver and he was killed instantly. kanoa felt like the world was crumbling beneath his feet, like he lost his other half. safe to say he did not perform that evening. he flew home to kapolei and wasn’t seen or heard from again.
    
    well, kind of. a few years after the incident, he resurfaced in seoul. he was spotted leaving company headquarters and many fans speculated he was going to be involved in the group's next comeback, but he was actually spotted exiting the building after officially leaving the group (the company wanted it in writing). the next months were spent traveling back and forth between hawaii and korea doing a few acting gigs, but that wasn't what got people's attention. no, it was the pictures and videos taken of him leaving an assortment of clubs in various stages of drunkenness.
    
    he tried to get back into the music scene but found he no longer had any sort of motivation to sing or dance. music reminded him that he’d have to perform in front of fans, which reminded him of the time he found out about kori, which made him ache and turn to the bottle to help rid of these feelings. but the problem was that he turned to the bottle (and other things) as a coping mechanism way too often. the other problem was that he didn’t like to stay at his apartment while drunk and preferred to go to public establishments to get even drunker. cue the pictures and media circulation and his family decided it was time to step in.
    
  • gallery

    fluent in english, thai and korean.
    
    pretty good at surfing and swimming.
    
    a saggitarius.
    
    often has nightmares where he's watching kori's accident happen and can't do anything to help.
    
    enneagram type is 9.
    
    allergic to cats and pineapple. will sneeze and get hella itchy (cats) and throat will close (pineapple).
    
    esfp-a.
    
    afraid of all bugs. screams his head off if he sees one.
    
    hates getting sick and usually cries when he doesn't feel well.
    
    now has a fear of being in cars and almost always refuses to get in one. prefers to walk, take a train or fly.
    
    has been in a few kdramas and thai dramas.
    
    can make god tier hawaiian barbecue.
    

    miscellaneous

coded by natasha.

 

[.V1LLAINISM._]

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• If I am for others, then who is for me? And if I am for myself, then what am I for?

  T e d d y

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  • stars will fall

    duster

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    vitals

    Theodore Aukai-Holt

    Ted, Teddy

    28

    Cis.male

    Pansexual

    August 17th, 1994

    Ka’a’awa, O’ahu Hawaii

    Native Hawaiian | Chinese | White

    American

    ”the fixer”
  • visage

    height

    6”1

    weight

    170 lbs

    hair

    
    Pitch black and clean-cut, Teddy takes great pride in appearance and therefore, it is always well maintained.
    
    

    eyes

    
    Dark brown.
    
    

    physique

    
    A cross between mesomorph and ectomorph, he’s in incredible shape.
    
    

    style

    
    Ironed, steamed, and pressed. Suits, shirts and cologne-spritzed ensembles are what he wears on the job… Or at least, what he wears to look the part. Anywhere else? Well, that’s a different story.
    
    

    modifications

    
    A tattoo he deeply regrets getting and won’t ever reveal and a jagged, leathery scar slicing across his left forearm.
    
    

    face claim

    
    A young Keanu Reeves

    

    .
    
  • likes

    
    fresh ingredients, cooking, reading, wine, running, parties, yachts, beaches, anything expensive, exclusivity, being the boss, different social circles, flings, compliments.
    
    

    dislikes

    
    criticism, talking about his past, being bad at anything, raisins, overly processed foods, beer, feeling unaccomplished, emotional conversations, children, his neighbour’s chihuahua.
    
    

    hobbies

    
    going to the beach at night,
    event hopping, cooking, gift giving & jogging.
    
    

    habits

    
    smoking when he’s nervous or distressed, giving unsolicited advice however good intentioned, chewing on his nails when he’s deep in thought.
    
    

    ailments

    
    may have some hereditary health issues but often denies it, too reliant on cigarettes.
    
    

    fears

    
    People realizing that he’s not all that, that he was brought up without money and not like the rest of them. Losing his sister and his nephew.
    

    
    In the eyes of the elite he is this: silver-tongued, refined, a man who seems to have it all and acts like it too. But often, the opposite is true. For Ted speaks in prose, like you and I though, he’s far more calculated, more cunning than that. Mind always convulsing, there’s not a word that’s passed his lips without some forethought, carefully spoken, carefully enunciated. His attentiveness has a way of making people feel special- as if his entire presence is devoted solely to them, if only for a moment and if only to get into their wallets.
    
    Charming, devilish but most of all, a rat bastard, Ted is a bachelor that could very well illicit the giggles of royalty if he so pleased. but be warned — it’s all a sham, he’s almost entirely a fraud. And cloudy intentions are to blame. Because what had started off as a good cause, has become nothing more than a shoe-in to the life he’s always wanted. He’s always been good at helping people mind you, it’s akin to muscle memory for him. But with time comes tragedy and with tragedy comes the realization that you can’t help everyone, that you can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved. So, why not have a little fun with it?
    Not the kind to sugar-coat rehabilitation -and that’s putting it lightly- Teddy’s methods are a little more erm… unconventional than he lets on. You can’t help everyone sure, but for a big fat check he could do just about and WILL do just about anything.
    
    Though of course, this asshole tends to leave these little details out during consultations. For all they know, he’s only ever been the kind shoulder to lean on… well, as kind as you could get with snot-nosed celebrities. It’s funny really, they love having the attention but hate all that following, a sort of hypocrisy he could never wrap his head around and yet, still vows to maintain everyday. Nevertheless, despite swearing to himself up and down that he has no personal connections to these unfortunate souls, Ted does care for them. Before the money, before the parties, there was a boy that wanted only the best for people like them, a boy who wanted to save what he couldn’t.
    
    

    mind

    mythos

    childhood

    
    Life is never easy, but it is especially cruel to the helpless.
    
    Born Theodore Aukai-Holt, Teddy or “Theo” as was once his given name, has always been a helper, a fixer from day one. He remembers being very small - hardly able to peer over the countertops and yet, responsible enough to monitor his mother’s breathing, checking her pulse with what chubby little fingers he’d had. He remembers finding her body, willowy and sunken in, passed out and laying in a heap on the lawns of his school. He remembers dragging her home while strangers watched through disparaging eyes. And he remembers telling them to piss off all the same, at the ripe age of 8 or 9. Because to him, this was normal, to him this was life.
    
    His mother was always a little bit broken. Always a raging storm, both in her highs and even at her lows. Rarely a peaceful person and much less a parent, Teddy had to learn how to take care of himself at a very young age. It’s probably why he’s so selfish now, but that’s not the point. He - despite his monstrous resentment and grief- loves his mother. There was even a point in history where you could say that he loved unconditionally, without inhibition. Little moments, small fragments of time where her silhouette would become one with the sun’s rays, arms outstretched. When her laughter would make the flowers blossom, minutes when she was herself and nothing more nor anything less. Where she didn’t need all those bad things to be happy.
    
    Teddy loved her the most in these moments, moments he often cherished and begged for through teary eyed. Never quite knowing when there would be a last.
    
    
    

    Adolescence

    
    Some days she was better, others she was worse. There were mornings when Teddy’s mother would sing with the voice of an angel, and nights where she would rage with the voice of the devil. Thus, he never quite knew what to expect- or he did, only, subconsciously. His footsteps would become lighter, warier with every step he took back into their tiny little world, creeping, crawling until he was absolute certain which side he’d face that day. He’d since learned how to hide money, the countless hours spent after school and behind drive-through screens, kept tucked away from the itching hands of his mother… Or so he thought.
    
    Sometimes she would get lucky, other times he would get careless but it wouldn’t just end there, no. Their voices would collide in a fiery union, rattling the walls as they clashed against one another until the wee hours of the morning, or until one of them got tired. It is one of his biggest regrets to date, treating his mother that way. Fighting for himself even though she never truly had. Maybe then she wouldn’t have disappeared, maybe then the shame wouldn’t have drowned her.
    
    Maybe then they could’ve been a real family.
    
    

    The Beginning Of The End

    
    June 3rd was the date. The anniversary of what exactly? He couldn’t even call it a death, hell, he didn’t even know if she was dead. And there comes an indescribable pain alongside this unknowing, a constant torture that had once been his hopeful curiosity. Did she finally succumb to her vices? Or had she prevailed? Was she safe? Was she alive? These are the thoughts that plague his mind even now, nearly 15 years later. After all, empty houses were never an anomaly to him, but the day she didn’t come back changed everything.
    
    
    
  • gallery

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coded by natasha.